So, is the "ordinance" a package of black cats, or a 155mm shell?

I'm going with road flares and chicken wire.

/obligatory
//great shop, whoever did this

There should be an ordinance concerning that.

Handy Tip: If you find aAN explosive in your yard, let the bomb squad come to you

/on the scene

Police said the man never should have moved the piece, instead he should have called police to the scene.

Are the police afraid of putting some brown stains in their panties?

/Besides it's a slow Sunday anyways.

So there is where I left it!.

/I'm not drinking rum again
//Oh, sweet sweet temptation

Stupid is as Stupid does.

Get Lost:Police said the man never should have moved the piece, instead he should have called police to the scene.

Are the police afraid of putting some brown stains in their panties?

/Besides it's a slow Sunday anyways.

No, a big crater in their parking lot. Do you know how long it takes to get the police station parking lot regraded and repaved after something like this?

I hate finding a explosive. One time I found an firecracker that almost blew an hole in my hand. A ambulance came and an paramedic gave me A IV drip. It was an fiasco!

Ordnance? What a dumb name for an unexploded bomb. I thought they'd just spelled "ordinance" wrong the whole time.

lobsterman:I hate finding a explosive. One time I found an firecracker that almost blew an hole in my hand. A ambulance came and an paramedic gave me A IV drip. It was an fiasco!

So now you have a claw where your hand used to be? Kewl.

He found the Hillsborough WMDs!
I suspect that whatever this "ordnance" was it was a minimal threat, like a box of 50 year old shotgun shells. But I guess we will never know, so I will take gigantic ocean landmines for $500, Alex!

You don't see things like that happening in Brooklyn.

Atypical Person Reading Fark sez:

So now you have a claw where your hand used to be? Kewl.

Lobster Boy (new window)

This used to happen in Lawton, Oklahoma when I stayed there a couple of summers.

qlenfg:Atypical Person Reading Fark sez:

So now you have a claw where your hand used to be? Kewl.

Lobster Boy (new window)

This is an birth defect! It is not an joke! Just because I have an claw is no reason to make a ass out of me!

Is there some sort of tie-in between this story and the redneck wedding thread?

/can't wait to see what the end of the trifecta is

This happened in Tallahassee a few weeks ago, some guy brought in a box of "weapons' from his recently deceased grandpa to a gun store to get appraised. Apparently gramps had a few hand grenades and the store was evacuated. They have a bomb squad in Tally so they were able to dispose of it safely.

There is tons of unexploded ww2 ordnance buried all over Florida too, even at a Highschool near my hometown (Palm Harbor High)

This is an historic occasion.

/why do I always see 'an historic' on "professional" publications all the time?

Right.
That's bad. Okay.

Important safety tip.

Thanks, Egon.

I am really tired, I read that as 'If you find an explosive in your head"

that would have been a cool article.

So now you have a claw where your hand used to be?

Not the craw, the CRAW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftgAG3Vnif8

SirFire:This is an historic occasion.

/why do I always see 'an historic' on "professional" publications all the time?

British leftover.

When you're pronouncing it as 'istoric, most h-words are considered to begin with a vowel.

little_farker:Handy Tip: If you find aAN explosive in your yard, let the bomb squad come to you

aan? Is that a word?

so they just made the wheaton thread go away , eh?

Stepqhen:I am really tired, I read that as 'If you find an explosive in your head"

that would have been a cool article.


I usually find an "explosive" in my hand when the wife is not around. A couple of boobies links pretty much takes care it, though.

Justa coupla posts ago wasn't it a hero thing to steal a truck load of bombs and drive em somewhere?

Corbett said the man who brought the ammunition to the station will not face any charges or fines.

Translation: Stupid is not a crime, you're free to go.

VonAether:When you're pronouncing it as 'istoric, most h-words are considered to begin with a vowel.

It's also currently correct.

We need to invade his yard immediately in case he decides to deal with the terr'ists.

/misses jokes from 2003

from the sound of it, it was a round. pretty safe to transport in a car. Most military explosives you can kick around it won't go off.

/now mines, thats a different story.

only a wuss waits for the bomb squad.

/Agrees With Submitter

mr.morbid:Corbett said the man who brought the ammunition to the station will not face any charges or fines.

Translation: Stupid is not a crime, you're free to go.

Yeah, but IT SHOULD BE.

Bucky Katt:only a wuss waits for the bomb squad.

Exactly. If it's live all they're going to do is pile more explosives on top of it and blow the damn thing up. Save the taxpayers some money and do-it-yourself!

Get some gasoline, some black powder, and some alcohol and you've got a party.

If I find explosives in my yard I'll just put them back in my trunk where they belong.

Tannerite is too much fun.
(new window)

JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm:This happened in Tallahassee a few weeks ago, some guy brought in a box of "weapons' from his recently deceased grandpa to a gun store to get appraised. Apparently gramps had a few hand grenades and the store was evacuated. They have a bomb squad in Tally so they were able to dispose of it safely.

There is tons of unexploded ww2 ordnance buried all over Florida too, even at a Highschool near my hometown (Palm Harbor High)

Link (new window)
The ultimate "lost" ordnance.

Perhaps these guys could help?


/obscure?

SquintyKat:Perhaps these guys could help?

DANGER UXB - a fine show

berylman:I will take gigantic oceanlandmines for $500

Er, wot?

Good advice.

berylman:He found the Hillsborough WMDs!
I suspect that whatever this "ordnance" was it was a minimal threat, like a box of 50 year old shotgun shells. But I guess we will never know, so I will take gigantic ocean landmines for $500, Alex!

THIS. I'm glad he showed caution. But I'm 99% certain it was just some dud rifle round a hunter dropped decades ago. Typical modern yuppie, having no idea what a round of ammunition really is or what it can or can't do, assumed the worst.

taurusowner:berylman:He found the Hillsborough WMDs!
I suspect that whatever this "ordnance" was it was a minimal threat, like a box of 50 year old shotgun shells. But I guess we will never know, so I will take gigantic ocean landmines for $500, Alex!

THIS. I'm glad he showed caution. But I'm 99% certain it was just some dud rifle round a hunter dropped decades ago. Typical modern yuppie, having no idea what a round of ammunition really is or what it can or can't do, assumed the worst.


Or from the article:

Police said the person claimed to have found something that resembled a large-caliber rifle round or a small mortar in his yard, removed it, then drove it to the station.


So, at 'worst' (by your estimate) it was a .50 cal round. However, given that there is the 'or a small mortar', I'm willing to bet that there was a good chance that it was of the type/size to indicate that there was some sort of explosive charge in the round itself. The police would know if someone just dropped an -06 round off.

"Is that red or pink? Gha, I can't see."
*lifts protective visor exposing face*
"There it is! Yep, its red. Hey look, its loose too!"
*pokes wire, bomb goes off*

/Phil Ken Sebben for the win

tag found still smoking at the bottom of a crater?

But yeah, Dumbass works too.

I was living in Japan. One morning a member of the Self Defence Force came knocking at my appartment door. He was unable to make himself understood to me, probably because I only understood about 50 words of Japanese, so he went on to the next door, and I went back to sleep.
the next day I read in the english paper that twenty 500lb bombs had been found in a construction site a short distance from my appartment building and the area had been evacuated. There was no comment about "except for that dumb American..."

I have second hand --- experience with this. I was dating an American (who I have since married). She was clearing out her late spouse's furniture (so the evil daughter could take her part of the inheritance) and came across a grenade in the bottom drawer.

She plopped the grenade on a table in the den. For a couple of weeks she talked to me on the telephone with this stupid grenade by her head. She wasn't sure exactly what to DO with it. Should she call it in to the police? "Hi, I am at 9999 6th St and I have a grenade". Uh, maybe not. Put it in a paper bag and take it to the police station and walk up to the counter "I have a grenade in this bag..." Maybe not that either.

Eventually, the evil daughter of the deceased showed up to take her inheritance and anything else that wasn't nailed down (and a couple of things that were). The grenade was dumped on a chair in the yard, the bomb squad was called, the police tape went up, the neighbours got moved out of their houses. Then the bomb squad guy picked up the grenade, nonchalantly threw it in the trunk and drove away. Problem solved.

/The above story deserves an "Ohio" tag.
//I would have found a way to get rid of it a lot quicker, really!