News flash: if Elvis survived his "death" back in '77, he'd be an old man today. So every time a tabloid shows him with a full head of black hair, I pick up my phone and call bullshiat.

I like the way that the "Elvis is Alive" Museum shows him as he might look in his coffin. If he were dead, of course. Dead quite a number of years ago, too.

Oh man...some friends and I passed this a few years back when it was still in Wright City, MO and we had to stop. It was brilliant: half of the museum was dedicated to proving that the FBI lied about elvis' death, while the other half appeared to be a really run-down canned goods market. The whole operation was overseen by a woman as run-down as the store itself, who had 6 or 7 kids in there crowded around a laptop that was playing Finding Nemo.

I'm glad to hear the Elvis is Alive museum is still alive.

Saborlas:News flash: if Elvis survived his "death" back in '77, he'd be an old man today.

Living in east Texas. With a growth on his pecker.

i live about 10 miles from this. A couple of my co-workers have decided to mock up a "we've got bigfoot around back" sign to enhance his advertising campaign.

The world's cup over-runneth with stupid.

"Elvis is not dead. He just went home."

Most likely a wax replica was placed in the casket, he suggested. And the whereabouts of Elvis Presley over the last 30 years?

Elvis was over for dinner last Sunday, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone.

And do you think that kid in the picture is scarred for life? Looking at the dead wax Elvis in a coffin?

While you're there, don't forget to visit the "LBJ killed JFK" gift shop.

Elvis Presley = Presley lives = Verily sleeps

They should put it next door to the Creationist Museum.

Elvis didn't die, he's still on the crapper. All that fried peanut butter really clogs up the old turdwell.

mikeandeichmann:Oh man...some friends and I passed this a few years back when it was still in Wright City, MO and we had to stop. It was brilliant: half of the museum was dedicated to proving that the FBI lied about elvis' death, while the other half appeared to be a really run-down canned goods market.

Ah...*thats* the America I know and love. I've missed you sweetie.

/UFO's, Big Rigs n' BBQ

This is in my town

leftymcrighty,

Is Ruelle Spanish for Lane? I didn't realize the States had bilingualism...

WOW! Talk about a blast from the past. I stopped in the museum in MO on my way to Florida while leaving the heartland behind. One of the more bizarre 10 minutes of my life. Can't believe the minister sold it...a life's work going for $8 grand. wow.

fenian-:leftymcrighty,

Is Ruelle Spanish for Lane? I didn't realize the States had bilingualism...

It's not Spanish.

DRTFA. Is it next to the creationist museum?

DrForrester:They should put it next door to the Creationist Museum.

I came here to say this.

/popcorn

iodine:Elvis Presley = Presley lives = Verily sleeps

Trying too hard there.
Elvis is alive = I live, evil ass.

fenian-:leftymcrighty,

Is Ruelle Spanish for Lane? I didn't realize the States had bilingualism...

I believe that's French. And it's not in the states. It's Canada.

mikeandeichmann:Oh man...some friends and I passed this a few years back when it was still in Wright City, MO and we had to stop. .

The building is now an outreach ministry, and the billboard cutout of Elvis has been repainted and shows him carrying a cross.

"Hey, Dad, where are we going on vacation, Disney World?" "No, son, we're going to the Elvis is Alive Museum"

Thank you, Daddy! Thank you very much!

Combine this with a trip to the Creationist Museum and you've got a summer vacation of extreme lunacy!

If there are any U of C Scav Hunt judges on Fark, take note: this place NEEDS to be on next year's road trip.

Always love to see my city in Fark.

PFFFT.

HERE'S a vacation thats different. Just heard about it the other day and I can't wait to ...

...try and convince Mrs. Xaks to let me go.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92222330

Wish me luck!

You know, I'm not a conspiracy theory guy by any means, but I have to say, I kind of think Elvis is\was alive.

My first real job was caddy at this country club. I was, maybe, 13 at the time. Anyway, the caddys consisted of a bunch of full time older dudes, basically folks who couldn't hang on to a real job, or were looking for cash under the table and the like, and a group of younger kids for the summer.

All and all, not a bad job, could make a hundred bucks cash on a good day and be out of there by lunch time. It also got your ass out of bed in the summer. But I digress.

There was this one caddy, who we all called the king, for obvious reasons. He looked EXACTLY like you would have pictures elvis looking at his age. And his age was perfect for what elvis would have been. Drove this big old cadillac, and although he was a man of expectionaly few words, had the accent.

He also used to get really pissed when people would point out the obvious likeness to elvis, and would just be an ass until you dropped it, as he wanted nothing more than the conversation to be over. Now if people thinking he looked like elvis was that big of a problem, there were about a dozen minor things he could have done to his style to avoid the connection, but no, that was this guys style.

Also, he pretty much never caddied. He would always be one of the last guys to arive, would only take single bags (no real money in that) and would blow out of there on days when the weather sucked, or he didn't get a quick bag when he showed up. Basically, the guy was there just to show his face, get his name on the "book", and that was that, money had nothing to do with it.

I only pulled 2 summers at that place, and never really kept touch with anyone who still worked there, so never know what became of the king, but I'll say this much. A good part of me is convinced that elvis was alive and well, and working as the worlds worst caddy at the Essex County Country club back in 1992.

It's right next door to the Creationist Museum so they can share parking.

Webb Wilder approves.

If Elvis was actually alive, he certainly wouldn't want to ne noticed. So he would not be out and about in the white jumpsuit. The more amount of time passing after his death would make it easier. Lose weight, grow a beard, change hair style/color, those sideburns would have to go. Lots of things to do without needing to resort to plastic surgery.

We used to pass this museum each time we headed to St. Louis, but we never stopped. I kinda wish I did now that it's gone.

//lives in Columbia

Next stop...

mikeandeichmann:Oh man...some friends and I passed this a few years back when it was still in Wright City, MO and we had to stop. It was brilliant: half of the museum was dedicated to proving that the FBI lied about elvis' death, while the other half appeared to be a really run-down canned goods market. The whole operation was overseen by a woman as run-down as the store itself, who had 6 or 7 kids in there crowded around a laptop that was playing Finding Nemo.

I'm glad to hear the Elvis is Alive museum is still alive.

I drove from STL to Columbia this afternoon, and passed by that museum.
Apparently, it's not the Elvis is Alive Museum anymore, it's some Baptist church center or something.
Now, if you remember correctly, there was a large plywood cutout of Elvis crooning into the microphone right out front of the store. Once the baptist church took over, they didn't take down the Elvis, they just replaced the microphone with a 10-foot-tall cross.
Pure awesome. I recommend stopping and taking a picture.

LineNoise:You know, I'm not a conspiracy theory guy by any means, but I have to say, I kind of think Elvis is\was alive.

I now completely believe that there is a tiny redneck living inside you, begging to become the dominant personality.

redTiburon:It's right next door to the Creationist Museum so they can share parking.

No, No, No. It's the crazy farkers in Kansas that have the creationist museum. This is in Mississippi. We don't need midwestern retardation, we have our own, thanks.

/my hometown
//birthplace of rock and roll
//takes kindly to Elvis

Hunka hunka burnin' love...

I've been to the Toilet Of Memories, an Elvis museum in a toilet in a crappy burger joint in a small town in Eastern Finland. (Specifically, Pieksämäki)

No, for real. It exists.

"Hey, Dad, where are we going on vacation, Disney World?" "No, son, we're going to the Elvis is Alive Museum"

"Disney World burned down, son."

He cried and cried.

I was about to take him to the REAL Disney World, but it was getting late.

When I look out into your eyes out there,
When I look out into your faces,
You know what I see?
I see a little bit of Elvis
In each and every one of you out there.

Lemme tell ya...
Weeeeeeeeeellllllll...

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

Man o man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me

Elvis is everywhere, man!
He's in everything.
He's in everybody...

Elvis is in your jeans.
He's in your cheesburgers
Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
Elvis is in your mom!

He's in everybody.
He's in the young, the old,
the fat, the skinny,
the white, the black
the brown and the blue
people got Elvis in 'em too

Elvis is in everybody out there.
Everybody's got Elvis in them!
Everybody except one person that is...
Yeah, one person!
The evil opposite of Elvis.
The Anti-Elvis

Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in 'em,
lemme tell ya.

Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.

And Elvis is in Joan Rivers
but he's trying to get out, man!
He's trying to get out!
Listen up Joanie Baby!

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

Man o man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me

Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon
out there in the world.
Lot of things people say
What the heck's going on?

Let me tell ya!

Who built the pyramids?
ELVIS!
Who built Stonehenge?
ELVIS!

Yeah, man you see guys
walking down the street
pushing shopping carts
and you think they're talking to allah,
they're talking to themself.
Man, no they're talking to ELVIS!
ELVIS! ELVIS!

You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
Down in the Bermuda Traingle
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis needs boats.

Aahh! The Sailing Elvis!
Captain Elvis!
Commodore Elvis it is.

Yeah man, you know people from outer space,
people from outer space they come up to me.
They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
They don't look like Klingons,
all that Star Trek jive.

They look like Elvis.
ELVIS!
Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness

Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

Man o man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me

That's right ladies and gentlemen,
The time has come!
Time has come to talk
To that little bit of Elvis inside of you.

Talk to it!
Call it up!
Say "Elvis, heal me!"
"Save me, Elvis!"
"Make me be born again
in the perfect Elvis light"

That's right!
You've got that Elvis inside of ya
and he's talkin to ya
He says he wants you to sing!
Everybody's got to sing like the king!

Like the king
Get that leg going now
Get your lip too.
Not no fool Billy Idol lip either
Everybody!
Yeah, we're rockin now!

Elvis is with us.
He's with us and he's speaking to us.
He says "Peoples!"
"Peoples!"
"Everybody!"
"Everybody got to sing!"

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

Man o man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

Man o man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me

Elvis!