Know if they only told me how to read it...

What is this "newspaper" of which you speak?

Too many people are like slinkies these days.

Useless, but they can bring a smile to your face when you throw them down a flight of stairs.

Oh yeah, it's PAPER, I could just fold it up into a smaller two dimensional volume.

This is useless! Where is the "how to fold a map" article?

The fitted sheet one was more useful to me. They usually get balled up and thrown into the closet at my place.

it's not a newspaper, it's the Daily Fark

Papageorgeo:Too many people are like slinkies these days.

Useless, but they can bring a smile to your face when you throw them down a flight of stairs.

Lol! You win +1.6 internets.

I'm starting to think that if you really want a greenlight you have to be patient and let the monkey hit your submission with his dart.

can they show me how to fold my PDA?

I was hoping for it to turn into some complex origami. Not so much in the end. Oh well. One can dream.

approve

Perhaps their slogan should be:

Real Simple, the site for blondes.

I first read the headline as "completely homeless" and didn't think it was a typo.

/Hoover blankets FTW

Now if only someone could show me how to use those darn toothpicks...

/maybe around the end of the universe
//3rd most intelligent species on earth

Namahs:Know if they only told me how to read it...

I hope that was intentional.

I clicked on the "How to fold a business". Take the money and run.....

Newspaper? Oh yeah that thing I buy when I need to paint something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pwrfqu_mA0

/not a rickroll
//probably worse

A sheet of paper no matter how big, let's say 1 mile by 1 mile; you can fold it in half again and again only 7 or 8 times? Forgot the details. Anybody know? This is important.

Breech Birth
A sheet of paper no matter how big, let's say 1 mile by 1 mile; you can fold it in half again and again only 7 or 8 times? Forgot the details. Anybody know? This is important.

No, Mythbusters showed that you can fold it 11 times, but only if you start with a piece of paper the size of a football field.

derbtastic:Now if only someone could show me how to use those darn toothpicks...

Came in here to say this. I keep stabbing it in my eye!

Will the next article tell me how to make buggy whips?

I liked their article on breathing. Inhaling then exhaling as a 1:1 ratio makes a lot more sense than the 3:2 ratio I'd been doing.

Excellent! Now all I need is someone to tell me how to use these opposable thumbs I keep hearing I have.

ultramarinblaa:Breech Birth
A sheet of paper no matter how big, let's say 1 mile by 1 mile; you can fold it in half again and again only 7 or 8 times? Forgot the details. Anybody know? This is important.

No, Mythbusters showed that you can fold it 11 times, but only if you start with a piece of paper the size of a football field.

And if you use a steamroller. Normally, you can fold it 7 or 8 times.

lenfromak:The fitted sheet one was more useful to me. They usually get balled up and thrown into the closet at my place.

Not me! I never have a problem folding fitted sheets!

(Wash, dry, put back on bed.)

Breech Birth:A sheet of paper no matter how big, let's say 1 mile by 1 mile; you can fold it in half again and again only 7 or 8 times? Forgot the details. Anybody know? This is important.

I'm fairly sure you can only fold a piece of paper in half once.

ultnightmares:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pwrfqu_mA0

/not a rickroll
//probably worse

OMFG That was incredible!

I still don't know how to use the three seashells...

Thank goodness a service like this exists because usually I'd try to fold the paper for about 15 seconds, give up, then light it on fire while banging my chest with my fists.