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(AP) Followup Rape charge against Rikki Rockett has been dropped after authorities find that the Poison drummer was not in the state at the time of the crime. Authorities are looking for a man that has been passing himself off as a rock star to pick up women   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 51
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Shazzoir [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 07:34:30 AM  
Cue five thousand skinny blokes in black stovepipe jeans running for the border.

 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 07:35:35 AM  
It is not me. I'm an astronaut.

 
nukeim 2008-07-02 07:40:27 AM  
I_C_Weener:It is not me. I'm an astronaut.

Me neither.

/congressman

 
missmez [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 07:46:23 AM  
Me neither.;

/award winning physicist
/plus, female

 
kronicfeld [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 07:46:40 AM  
Alert: members of Coldplay now "persons of interest" to the investigation.

 
Recoil Therapy [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 07:56:44 AM  
Not me, I'm an economist

/not enough personality to make it as an accountant

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:12:18 AM  
Recoil Therapy:not enough personality to make it as an accountant

*snort* good one :D

missmez:award winning physicist

so you're saying you're a physicist who'd let a simple issue of mechanics get in the way? ;)

 
RubyRed [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:19:58 AM  
His real name is Richard Ream... DICK REAM.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:24:31 AM  
I'm a marine core soldier.

/obvious

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:27:57 AM  
BTW I'm glad the charge is bunk and hopefully Rikki isn't too shaken by it.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:28:52 AM  
RubyRed:His real name is Richard Ream... DICK REAM.

hehehe I was sitting here chuckling thinking about that. Is it bad I've known what his real name is for like years and years?

 
sepuku2 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:33:08 AM  
Pocket Ninja:I'm a marine core soldier.

I thought you were in the Bear Force (pops)

 
sepuku2 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:33:43 AM  
RubyRed:His real name is Richard Ream... DICK REAM.

Nice seeing you're still on your toes.

 
RubyRed [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:37:21 AM  
WhyteRaven74:
hehehe I was sitting here chuckling thinking about that. Is it bad I've known what his real name is for like years and years?


Yes, yes it is.


I don't remember hearing about the arrest.
Poor woman, it must have been bad enough being raped by what she thought was a washed up musician. But to be raped by someone impersonating a washed up musician? Ouch.

 
RubyRed [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:39:50 AM  
sepuku2:Nice seeing you're still on your toes.

Yes, I know I have a very juvenile sense of humor.

/not really sure what you're referring to.

 
Magorn 2008-07-02 08:40:13 AM  
Authorities note that if it had been Tommy Lee that wouldn't have sufficed as an Alibi...

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:41:19 AM  
RubyRed:I don't remember hearing about the arrest.

It was on Fark when it happened.

But to be raped by someone impersonating a washed up musician? Ouch.

no worse, someone impersonating a drummer.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:42:37 AM  
sepuku2:I thought you were in the Bear Force (pops)

I was in the Bear Force, but the Core offered better opportunities.

 
RubyRed [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-02 08:45:26 AM  
WhyteRaven74:It was on Fark when it happened.

Huh, I don't remember that at all.

no worse, someone impersonating a drummer.

I thought bass players were the mock-worthy ones.

 
meekychuppet 2008-07-02 09:12:08 AM  
Once again the law is proven an ass. If he had been there then the authorities would have gotten there pound of flesh and closed the book on him, guilty or otherwise.

 
Dr.Knockboots [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 09:36:14 AM  
Wasn't me.
I am.

/Nas

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 10:25:13 AM  
I once offered to show a woman my Harry Kuykendall, but I'm not sure that counts as impersonation.

 
FarkinHostile 2008-07-02 10:47:57 AM  
Wasn't me. I usually play a marine biologist.

 
3825968 2008-07-02 10:48:13 AM  
Why is this in the business tab?

 
davynelson 2008-07-02 10:53:16 AM  
what's worrying is that they bring the rape charges forward against the guy in the first place based on the testimony of some twit

who has no clue


hey babe, it's me robert plant
let's do it

oh yeahhhhhhhh

 
Brown Sauce 2008-07-02 10:53:33 AM  
LOLLERAPE!1
images.showhype.com

 
Propain_az 2008-07-02 11:00:16 AM  
I_C_Weener:It is not me. I'm an ass-tronaut.

 
kungfu jesus with a side of lime 2008-07-02 11:07:54 AM  
i play a viking at the bar, i dont have any game, but a club works almost as good as clorform.

 
NASAM 2008-07-02 11:08:50 AM  
Not me. I'm a gynecologist.

 
sepuku2 [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 11:10:54 AM  
3825968:Why is this in the business tab?

Clicked 162 times; posted to Music on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 at 10:30 AM


Something must be farked.

 
factoryconnection 2008-07-02 11:22:03 AM  
RubyRed:WhyteRaven74:It was on Fark when it happened.

Huh, I don't remember that at all.

no worse, someone impersonating a drummer.

I thought bass players were the mock-worthy ones.


Drummers are the slobbering animals of the group. Hence, in Electric Mayhem, "Animal" played drums. Bass players are the goofy goons, usually. In this case, the woman can be excused for sleeping with whom she thought was a washed-up famous drummer, however she would have likely not given the bass player from (picks random popular hard-rock group) Breaking Benjamin the time of day. A sad life, those 4-stringers.

My heart goes out to her for being raped, regardless of the musical inclination of the perpetrator.

 
Crude 2008-07-02 11:28:49 AM  
Wasn't me. I'm a drummer.

 
Algebrat 2008-07-02 11:30:44 AM  
sepuku2:3825968:Why is this in the business tab?

Clicked 162 times; posted to Music on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 at 10:30 AM

Something must be farked.


I believe I've found the connection.

Aww yeah
That`s right baby.
Girl, tonight we`re gonna make love. You know how I know, baby? `Cause it`s Wednesday. And Wednesday night is the night that we make love. Tuesday night`s the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love. `Cause everything is just right conditions are perfect. There`s nothing good on TV. Conditions are perfect. You lean in close and say something sexy like, "I might go to bed I`ve got work in the morning." I know what you`re trying to say baby. You`re trying to say, "Oh, yeah. It`s business time. It`s business time."

It`s business.
It`s business time.
That`s what you`re trying to say you`re trying to say let`s get down to business it`s business time.

 
trapped-in-CH 2008-07-02 11:40:51 AM  
does phil collins count as a rocker?

 
factoryconnection 2008-07-02 11:41:50 AM  
Algebrat what's that? You say you'd like some more? Well I'm not surprised, but I am quite sleepy.

/Business hours
//over

 
mcongraff 2008-07-02 11:51:20 AM  
because rape is funny

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 11:56:05 AM  
At first I thought it was me, but it turns out I'm I'm Rikki RACHTMAN, and technically not a rock star.

 
Inigo_Montoya 2008-07-02 12:05:53 PM  
I'm not a rapist dressed as Rikki Rocket, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night.

 
jerry2a 2008-07-02 12:17:00 PM  
Can he still be charged for being a member of one of the worst bands of the '80's?

/C.C - pick up that guitar and take some farking lessons

 
TossedSaladMan 2008-07-02 12:22:19 PM  
Why is this story in the business section?

 
factoryconnection 2008-07-02 12:29:16 PM  
mcongraff:because rape is funny

I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. See, hey why do you think they call him "Porky," eh?

/RIP, funnyman

TossedSaladMan:Why is this story in the business section?

It is also in the Music tab, but I'm pretty sure Algebrat already explained the connection. RTFT!

 
TonnageVT [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 12:31:03 PM  
Am I the only one who thought the headline was a drummer joke?

/Drummer
//Wasn't me, I'm brown.

 
I'd hit that 2008-07-02 12:31:49 PM  
This article is about Rikki Rocket, so why is it in the music section?

 
kab 2008-07-02 01:20:34 PM  
WhyteRaven74:RubyRed:I don't remember hearing about the arrest.

It was on Fark when it happened.

But to be raped by someone impersonating a washed up musician? Ouch.

no worse, someone impersonating a drummer.


A really really shiatty drummer, to boot.

 
robbiedo 2008-07-02 01:20:57 PM  
Wow...so that that drummer in Poison is a rapist.

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 01:36:13 PM  
robbiedo:Wow...so that that drummer in Poison is a rapist.

No no that that drummer is not not.

 
star_topology 2008-07-02 01:38:07 PM  
No Brett Michaels references yet?

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2008-07-02 01:53:01 PM  
jerry2a:C.C - pick up that guitar and take some farking lessons

While that line made me chuckle, he does put on a hell of a show, and his riffs are fun if not technically demanding.

 
Sherjo311 2008-07-02 06:13:09 PM  
i168.photobucket.com

 
OMGlookatthat_HUGE_P_HOLE 2008-07-02 07:59:12 PM  
kronicfeld:Alert: members of Coldplay now "persons of interest" to the investigation.

Unlikely since the victim was a female.

 
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