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(Some Alaskan) Scary Good Idea: A bicycle ride through the park with your local bike club. Bad Idea: A midnight bicycle race through grizzly bear feeding grounds   (adn.com) divider line 61
More: Scary  
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61 Comments   (+0 »)


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soze [TotalFark] 2008-06-29 10:24:38 PM  
Whose bright idea was it to run laps through a bear-infested track, again? You might as well just put Twinkies on a conveyor belt through a NAAFA convention.

 
Goldeneye007 2008-06-30 12:00:16 AM  
Darwin is sad he missed.

 
ZeroPly 2008-06-30 12:00:57 AM  
Midnight bicycle race through grizzly bear area? Excellent idea if you're in the crazy ass bike club I belong to. If a grizzly can catch you, you're not a good enough sprinter and shouldn't be in this club anyway.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-06-30 12:01:55 AM  
www.dailyinterlake.com

Unavailable for comment.

 
skinbubble 2008-06-30 12:02:03 AM  
Meh. Most parks in Alaska have bears this time of year.

 
ladyway905 2008-06-30 12:02:09 AM  
Seems appropriate in an amusing sorta way.
img.villagephotos.com

 
Dr.Zom 2008-06-30 12:02:12 AM  
Bears - America's greatest menace.

 
EmployeeOfTheMinute 2008-06-30 12:02:18 AM  
www.dailyinterlake.com/Approves

 
scottydoesntknow [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-06-30 12:02:42 AM  
shiat all she had to do was pedal a little harder

/Remember kids: You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the guy next to you

 
EmployeeOfTheMinute 2008-06-30 12:03:55 AM  
Danger Avoid Death:Unavailable for comment.

Haha...you beat me to it.

 
EightBit 2008-06-30 12:04:10 AM  
subby:

+1 for animaniacs reference

 
CaptainSmartass 2008-06-30 12:05:17 AM  
For all you saying she beat Darwin, just remember, we don't know the extent of her injuries. If the bear damaged her mommy parts, Darwin still wins.

 
kaddytothemax 2008-06-30 12:05:29 AM  
Mr. Skullhead thanks you for your advice

 
stay_away_from_montana 2008-06-30 12:06:22 AM  
Rocky Mountain Land Sharks are really poppin' off this summer. Like 4 bear links in one day.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-06-30 12:07:43 AM  
stay_away_from_montana:Rocky Mountain Land Sharks are really poppin' off this summer. Like 4 bear links in one day.

bear links ... hmmmm ... sounds like a sausage ...

 
Archie DeBunker [TotalFark] 2008-06-30 12:09:50 AM  
FTA:"A midnight race along a salmon stream is probably a pretty bad idea when the salmon are there," Sinnott said.

Are salmon attacking people on land these days?

 
Xxplosiv 2008-06-30 12:10:02 AM  
i like how they keep insisting that the plastic/foam helmet somehow saved her from a fking GRIZZLY BEAR. i think the Anchorage daily news are being paid off by the helmet companies...

 
ypsifly 2008-06-30 12:13:44 AM  
www.bigbear.us

They will chase you down!

 
ZeroPly 2008-06-30 12:15:42 AM  
Xxplosiv:i like how they keep insisting that the plastic/foam helmet somehow saved her from a fking GRIZZLY BEAR. i think the Anchorage daily news are being paid off by the helmet companies...

Don't be all paranoid. Stories like this are usually real. I was riding along a few years ago wearing my GiroTM IonosTM helmet when I was hit by an asteroid in the rear of my head. My GiroTM IonosTM caught the brunt of the force and I just had a mild neck sprain. I can confidently say that GiroTM saved my life.

 
MostNutsEver 2008-06-30 12:16:35 AM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8PhzrmBgMI

 
soze [TotalFark] 2008-06-30 12:18:04 AM  
ZeroPly:I can confidently say that GiroTM saved my life.

They come for our air?

/has had life saved by Specialized helmets

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-06-30 12:18:56 AM  
Archie DeBunker:FTA:"A midnight race along a salmon stream is probably a pretty bad idea when the salmon are there," Sinnott said.

Are salmon attacking people on land these days?


And giving them salmonella. With tomatoes.

 
vengethis 2008-06-30 12:21:48 AM  
www.forumammo.com

 
gbrudy16 2008-06-30 12:24:18 AM  
www3.pictures.gi.zimbio.com

/What did you people expect.

 
berylman 2008-06-30 12:27:47 AM  
Link (grizzly bearoll)

 
WazDJ 2008-06-30 12:28:01 AM  
img46.imageshack.us

What's my Fitness Formula???
PEDAL FASTER THAN THE GRIZZLY BEARS !!!

 
Great Janitor 2008-06-30 12:34:49 AM  
I submitted this with the following headline:

14 y.o. in bike race attacked by bear. Bear has been disqualified and not allowed to compete next year.

the other was:

14 y.o. girl attacked by bear. Pedobear swears he's got an airtight alibi.

both links were already posted and rejected before I submitted them.

 
2and4 2008-06-30 12:44:04 AM  
She should have installed baseball cards in the spokes.

 
rabidarmadillo24 2008-06-30 12:44:34 AM  
I'm just really surprised that the other competitor stopped to see if she was ok. Doesn't sound like much of an athlete to me.

 
stevie1der 2008-06-30 12:45:33 AM  
Are we sure the modmins meant to greenlight this? I mean, it's missing all of the usual tidbits that make something farkworthy. The parents aren't trying to sue the Park or race coordinators. There hasn't been a posse arranged to find and kill the bear. Everyone's being a little too levelheaded in that article for my liking.

 
shipofthesun 2008-06-30 12:52:23 AM  
stevie1der:There hasn't been a posse arranged to find and kill the bear. Everyone's being a little too levelheaded in that article for my liking.

Well for the first part, if that bear's on any sort of decent bike, he's probably hundreds of miles away by now.

 
MightySausage 2008-06-30 12:59:03 AM  
bp3.blogger.com

The link, its temperature is above normal.

I farking loved Animaniacs.

 
TheShavingofOccam123 [TotalFark] 2008-06-30 01:04:58 AM  
2and4:She should have installed baseball cards in the spokes.

Using only wooden clothespins. Plastic ones don't hold up.

 
Impact Wench 2008-06-30 01:11:09 AM  

 
Charlie Freak [TotalFark] 2008-06-30 01:11:29 AM  
WazDJ:What's my Fitness Formula???
PEDAL FASTER THAN THE GRIZZLY BEARS !!!


You don't have to pedal faster than the bear, you just have to pedal faster than your riding partner.

So it seems as if she was going to lose, anyway.

 
lordaction 2008-06-30 01:14:09 AM  
Poor girl. I am actually the very first person documented as being attacked by a grizzly in Alaska's Katmai National Park so I can understand the situation (getting a kick out of the replies).

People need to remember that no one is at fault. The humans are aware of the risks they take by exploring the environment and bears are just...bears.

Even though this is Fark I would encourage you guys to maybe lay off on the insults to the victim. It is a very traumatic time and I can vouchsafe it will take her years to get over this tragedy.

/slash
//not bear slash you jerks

 
PatGund 2008-06-30 01:29:37 AM  
meals on wheels

 
lerxst2112 [TotalFark] 2008-06-30 01:31:09 AM  
MightySausage:The link, its temperature is above normal.

I farking loved Animaniacs.


Ah you beat me to it. That was exactly the first thing I thought of when I read the headline. Great minds think alike.

/Loves The Animaniacs as well.

 
tenhigh 2008-06-30 01:31:36 AM  
You can't... miss... the bear!

 
WFern 2008-06-30 01:45:13 AM  
lordaction:Poor girl. I am actually the very first person documented as being attacked by a grizzly in Alaska's Katmai National Park so I can understand the situation (getting a kick out of the replies).

People need to remember that no one is at fault. The humans are aware of the risks they take by exploring the environment and bears are just...bears.

Even though this is Fark I would encourage you guys to maybe lay off on the insults to the victim. It is a very traumatic time and I can vouchsafe it will take her years to get over this tragedy.

/slash
//not bear slash you jerks


I had a view of Logan International Airport Katmai National Park on that day, so I feel your pain.

 
steveo 2008-06-30 02:04:43 AM  
EightBit:+1 for animaniacs reference

Which would be greatly appreciated, I'm sure, if you weren't a liter with no +1s to give.

 
Mentalpatient87 2008-06-30 02:12:19 AM  
steveo:EightBit:+1 for animaniacs reference

Which would be greatly appreciated, I'm sure, if you weren't a liter with no +1s to give.


BURN!

Animaniacs was awesome. I also loved Tiny Toons...

We didn't have cable when I was a kid.

 
ryl0 2008-06-30 02:34:58 AM  
my buddy and i rode our bikes last night from bicentennial park right up the gas line trail to the power line trail, up to flat top and 6 miles out towards power line pass in the chugach. we turned around and came back down at approximate 9:30pm and passed within 50 yards of where she was attacked 4 hours later (she was on the spencer loop trail parallel to campbell creek). We were parked at the south bivouac parking lot.
the fact is.. if you like to be outdoors i can almost guarantee: Anchorage in summertime > Whereever you Live.
Fishing / Kayaking / Mountain biking / Hiking / climbing / camping here are world class. In terms of mountain biking alone I will put bicentennial / kincaid parks against any city park in any city in this country.
The girl being attacked sucks but "Big, Wild Life" is anchorage's motto and a simple fact of life in AK. It doesnt mean you sit inside and stare longingly out your window and fantasize about the adventures you might have. You live your life and do the things that you love to do and try to minimize the risks.
This girls biggest mistake was that it being a race she ended up alone when she encountered the bear. if she was with a friend or friends (as you SHOULD be when out in our parks) circumstances would have been different.
FYI centennial park is hardcore vertical rise against the chugach mountain range. for her to compete I bet she was in better shape than 96% of farkers.

 
moondo 2008-06-30 03:24:55 AM  
ZeroPly:Xxplosiv:i like how they keep insisting that the plastic/foam helmet somehow saved her from a fking GRIZZLY BEAR. i think the Anchorage daily news are being paid off by the helmet companies...

Don't be all paranoid. Stories like this are usually real. I was riding along a few years ago wearing my GiroTM IonosTM helmet when I was hit by an asteroid in the rear of my head. My GiroTM IonosTM caught the brunt of the force and I just had a mild neck sprain. I can confidently say that GiroTM saved my life.


I don't think I have ever laughed as quietly and passionately, but wishing I could lol in fark before (my wife is sleeping).
+2

 
nandaiyo 2008-06-30 03:30:53 AM  
ryl0:for her to compete I bet she was in better shape than 96% of farkers.

People can be in shape without being stupid.

 
izi ifil 2008-06-30 03:39:26 AM  
Did she have to grin and bear it?

/knows this is tantamount to a bannable offense

 
Goofball_Jones 2008-06-30 03:39:31 AM  
ryl0:I bet she was in better shape than 96% of farkers.

Well...at the moment I'm in much better shape than she is.

/Isle seat please....oh, and I'll have the chicken for dinner....thanks.

 
Sasquatchula 2008-06-30 04:10:42 AM  
I live in NorCal, which, once past Ukiah, gets rural and wild pretty quick. A few years back I was cycling just outside of Blue Lake, downstream of the hatchery, and stopped to take in the view of the Mad River. I'd just unclipped when I saw a bear directly across the river, nose to the water looking for fish. Might of been 50 yards between us. I just about crapped my shorts. I slowly, and as quietly as I could, pushed myself backwards into the cover of brush before I turned around and hightailed it out of there.

I think my saving grace was that the wind was coming from behind the bear, and it didn't hear or smell me.

That is not as cool as the time I was road cycling up near Klamath. I spied some movement up on the ridge-line bordering the road, maybe 30 feet up, and just a hundred yards ahead. A few seconds later I see a blur of movement and a BIG brown ball starts rolling down the hill. I'm thinking rockslide? I kick up the cadence 'cos I think I can get ahead of it, which I do. As I pass, all I see is a big cloud of dust and movement coming down. I keep pedalling, looking back over my shoulder, what hits the road is a big old bear. Rolls a couple of times on the road, then comes up and starts running right at me! Luckily, I think bear was freaked that he just slipped on the forest version of a banana peel, and just wanted out. He bee-lined for the other side of the road and dove into the brush.

Once I felt safely clear, I stopped 'cause the adrenaline rush felt like it was gonna kill me. Good times, man. Good times.

 
rat_brain_flies_plane 2008-06-30 05:03:45 AM  
"I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation."

 
flacidbob 2008-06-30 05:19:19 AM  
"That area's getting more and more dangerous with the bears," he said. "It's frustrating, because at what point are they going to thin them out? It's like a hidden time bomb in the forest. It kind of scares me."

Are you farking kidding me? This is the type of person you just need to feed to the bears...

 
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