Instead of taking a dip in the drink, he shoulda dialed 267-555-0100.

I'm meta-irie right now, mon, so I'm really getting a kick out of King Something's reply.

I so badly wanted the drivers name to be Jesus.

I used to live in Metairie (suburb of New Orleans) so I am not the least bit surprised.

Looking at the guy's record, I'd say he's another one who likes prison better than working. Hey, free room and board and no bills or worries. Cable TV is required by law. Free medical too. What's not to love?

To be fair there is water every damned where in NO and Metairie.

/Canal shootin' is fun

Louisiana: The New Florida

Was he naked? Because I feel that if you steal a cruiser and drive it into a pond, you SHOULD be naked.

Colonel John Fortunado . . .last seen looking for the tasty Amontillado . . .

"Make a u-turn, if possible."

I currently live in Metairie and cannot wait to get out of this godforsaken hellhole.

I do appreciate how the local paper publishes the home address of suspects ("1917 Oak Creek Road in River Ridge" in this article)... yaknow, in case you want to stop by later or something.

nola fark party on the levee?

i'm in metairie now too, and i just kicked my neighbor out of my house. farkin prick.

Are the editors on that site educated in Floriduh?

Here, let me fix it for you:

According to Jefferson Parish Sheriff Newell Normand, a 22 year old man stole a marked police vehicle this morning just after 6 am.

Normand says that a Fourth District patrol division officer was investigating a suspicious person complaint in the 2500 block of N. Woodlawn in Metairie,; the officer returned to find that his marked JPSO unit was parked he discovered his vehicle had been stolen.

Less than ten minutes later, the Jefferson Parish 911 center was notified by the St. Charles Parish Sheriff's Office that a white male was driving a police unit erratically on the Mississippi river levee. St. Charles officers responded to the complaint and observed the suspect drive driving the unit into the Mississippi River. He was apprehended a short time later while swimming in the river.

Colonel John Fortunado with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office says the cruiser was not running at the time it was stolen, and "the officer had his keys in his pocket."

Fortunado says there was they were examining extensive damage to the fence line that parallels the airport access road, and investigators believe the suspect crashed into the fence before making his way into St. Charles Parish.

Jefferson Parish LASER divers(,) with the assistance of the St. Charles Sheriff's office(,) are searching for the car in the river.

The suspect is identified as David Mitchell Jr. of 1917 Oak Creek Road in River Ridge. Officials say Mitchell has a lengthy prior[prior is not necessary, as you already state later in this sentence that it is 'history'] criminal history for armed robbery, simple robbery, disturbing the peace, DWI, as well as numerous narcotic charges.

Sheriff Normand says Mitchell is currently on probation until 2009 for armed robbery charge in Jefferson Parish.

Journalism like this makes me [sic]

river ridge is harahan

FTA the officer had his keys in his pocket.

At least that was how he put it in the report. A running police car mebbe he'd take it but the hassle of hot wiring one...not so much.

/cops got some 'splainin' to do

try fect taa daa:i'm in metairie now too, and i just kicked my neighbor out of my house. farkin prick.

Story time?

What part of Metairie y'all from? My grandma and aunt both live there and my dad lives in River Ridge. There are a lot of nice areas. And good restaurants, like the Peppermill and Mr. Eds in Metairie area and Deweys for a really freaking good roast beef po' boy.

To his defense, there happens to be a lot of water around metarie.

Ah Metairie, my hometown. Glad to see somethings never change.

Even if it's New Orleans West, it's still New Orleans. Land of the free, home of the depraved.

the dude is seriously charmed- I think you're just as well off charging a machine gun nest as you are jumping in the Mississippi River for a swim in the N.O. area- the currents and riptides are much more powerful than what you see at the beach. (A couple of weeks ago an out-of-towner thought it would be funny to jump off the ferry and swim the 20 feet back to the river bank- he was not seen again.)

diablo_girl, don't like it? That's what you get for not living uptown.

"Luke, bwah.. dat dere da man wif no eyes. Don't you fool wid dat boy, Luke"

cxjohn:
Even if it's New Orleans West, it's still New Orleans. Land of the free, home of the depraved.

Don't forget the drive-thru daquiri shops. Explains a lot.

INTO water, tardbucket.

How long do you suppose the pissed off cops made him, "squeeeeeal like a pig" after they pulled him out of the water?

moved from Louisiana last month to Oregon.

Miss the daquiri drive thrus the most.

I'm sorry, subby. I don't speak lolcat.

Oh, this amuses me so.

/Born and raised in Jefferson/StCharles Parish.
//So glad i'm out of that dump.
///misses poboys.

He must have had four stars. Three is easy to get away from.

I was born in Metry, so I'm getting a kick out of seeing the replies of all these people with Metry connections.

Yet, I do crave a roast beef po-boy right about now.

7473r4:INTO water mud, tardbucket scumqueen.

FTFY

I wonder how many times the guy fell and/or had an accident on his way to the greybar motel...

Any JPSOs on fark?

story time...

neighbor ding dongs and i answer, as the door opens, he jogs in, asks for "boss"(my wife) and says he's putting a fence up. i listen to his shiat for two minutes, and go back to bed. then i realize there was no hello, how are you, etc. i go back into kitchen and say we'll get a survey, and see you during business hours. oh-and get the fark out. he mutters she's the boss on his way out. i go back to bed again. i get pissed--cause i'm the boss. i walk outside and summon said douche, and proceed to let him know i'm the boss. fark him. i'm 30 yrs old, and i know my manners. I just handed a 70 year old fark his ass in front of his own house. gawd i need to go back to law school. no--my wife isn't pissed(surprisingly so), and no i did not threaten him with violence. go westwego. and i also don't believe in respecting my elders. love fark. love yall.

/worked with jpso autotheft.

I gotta ask, which is the bigger idiot, the thief who stole the cop car and drove it into the water, or the cop who's cruiser was stolen? Either there's one master thief who didn't think his cunning plan all the way through, or there's one cop bound for desk duty until he retires.

old fords can work without the key sometimes. those keys can even be pulled out with the car still running and an unlocked column. all our pds are using old cars cause many were flooded during katrina

I wrote this article, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/thx, SirFire. No excuses.

Harry Lee will have his balls in a jar come Monday.

The best things about New Orleans...are moving to Baton Rouge.

Galatoire's has opened.

Acme Oyster Bar will be open in 3 months if not sooner.

Camelia Grill is opening a Baton Rouge location.

Now, if I can just get a bar to serve a real Hurricane in BR.

Maybe it was a dirty Datsun.

cxjohn, you are nuts if you like that cowtown.

try fect taa daa, what do you expect from farking westwego? The real story is what led YOU to live there.

Tech N9ne, that will be some trick seeing as how Harry is dead.

tech nine-you know harry died, right? there was a 20 mile funeral procession.

cxjohn:The best things about New Orleans...are moving to Baton Rouge.
...
Now, if I can just get a bar to serve a real Hurricane in BR.

Hey, could be an opportunity for ya..A drive-through "real Hurricane" joint in Baton Rouge.

/tho, driving around with those giant glass hurricane glasses could be a hazard

mamas-tasty---

I like it here. 50x360 lot with a nice old house for 60grand. x flood zone, and jp taxes and services. its nice here, bro. don't hate.

hurricanes from pat o's are the devil. each one has 4 shots of rum. had to carry my wife outta there last time. piano bar is awesome.

cxjohn-brsux.

vicejay:I wrote this article, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/thx, SirFire. No excuses

I apologize for the harsh remarks :)

Camelia Grill is in BR??? WHERE???? Haven't been there in forever. I remember hanging around Ye Olde College Inn when I was much younger. And Baton Rouge does not suck:P

cxjohn

Former New Orleans Resident, born and bred, been gone since 2000.

1. Acme is good - but Casementos on magazine with the fresh texas toast oyster sandwiches kill it. Or Dragos in Fat City, there steam roasted, are whatever they do rock it out.

The Arabi Diner had an incredible oyster plate.

2. The Camelia grill ain't what it used to be, since it was bought by Hicham Khodr and he is whoring it out. They had the same porter there for like 50 uears, knew my dad when he was a kid, and knew me, and dad is 79 and I am 39.

Kinda like Delmonicos, Emeril bought it, but not the same food or clientel.

Hurricanes Well you lucked out, as a former manager at Pat Obriens, you can emulate it pretty well with two shots of 151, hawaian punch, though I think Hi C is closer, and fresh fruit. The citrus kills the burn of the 151.

But if you saw how they mixed it up and the two giant vats they keep it in in the original pat os, you would never drink it again. My advice is to go to Pat Obriens and ask a bartender to make you one from scratch in front of you.

As for Baton Rouge, if you do not already know. Georges under the Bridge on Perkins Rd. Great chicken breast sandwich and corn and shrimp soup.

Fluer De Lis Pizza, flat pizza but good eats.

And Tonys Seafood.

And if you want French Quarter Style hoookers, ye old plank road.

God I miss Louisiana. Jacksonville is a drag.

SirFire:vicejay:I wrote this article, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/thx, SirFire. No excuses

I apologize for the harsh remarks :)

Not harsh at all, extremely accurate. I'm usually very careful about copy.

try fect taa daa:hurricanes from pat o's are the devil. each one has 4 shots of rum. had to carry my wife outta there last time. piano bar is awesome.

THIS! I had the best time I'll never remember.