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(Yahoo) Unlikely Charlotte Church wants six kids before marriage to guido boyfriend. Fark: "We want to have our babies young and then I'm going to get married and look fabulous for that."   (uk.news.yahoo.com) divider line 67
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strangeguitar 2008-06-27 12:12:12 AM  
Yeah. Good luck with that, Chubby McCubb.

 
ultraholland 2008-06-27 12:18:10 AM  
He looks real enthused about the whole thing.

 
RobertBruce [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 12:23:58 AM  
Smart. Younger = healthier babies.

 
FuturePastNow [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 12:24:46 AM  
Wow. I wasn't expecting him to actually be a Guido.

 
Psychotropic 2008-06-27 12:27:14 AM  
I'd be willing to knock her up a few times if her boyfriend isn't up to the task.

 
BobtheFascist 2008-06-27 12:30:38 AM  
Six?!?!?! Run, dude. Run.

 
vudukungfu 2008-06-27 12:41:21 AM  
She sounds like she wants to be fat.

 
slobarnuts 2008-06-27 12:48:56 AM  
Keepin' it real Catholic, part 2.

 
Godscrack [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 01:05:31 AM  
img150.imageshack.us

Six tots?

 
Dr.Zom 2008-06-27 02:12:49 AM  
ultraholland: He looks real enthused about the whole thing.

Oh man he looks unhappy.

 
TrekRat [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 02:27:21 AM  
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that after having six children, she won't look "fabulous," not ever, ever again.

The boyfriend looks like maybe he'd just heard her say all that. "OH FRIGGING HELL."

 
hbk72777 2008-06-27 02:30:26 AM  
Why isn't guido replace with "smart and attractive Italian"? Oh, I forgot ,got to pander to the negros

/racism, but only when it's against the blacks

 
CyranoJones 2008-06-27 02:38:07 AM  
Yeah, right

Six kids are gonna stretch out that tummy and those t@ts to where she's gonna look like those tribal women they show in National Geographic.

i250.photobucket.com i285.photobucket.com

Have fun with those stretch marks, honey

\it's a dammed sin she started smoking with a voice like that, in a few years she'll sound like Bonnie Tyler

 
neilbradley 2008-06-27 02:53:18 AM  
She's 22? From that pic, she looks 32.

 
Jakevol2 2008-06-27 03:04:24 AM  
TrekRat: I wonder how long it will take her to realize that after having six children, she won't look "fabulous," not ever, ever again.

The boyfriend looks like maybe he'd just heard her say all that. "OH FRIGGING HELL."


Nannies and vaginal rejuvenation. It's not like she is hurting for money.

 
FuturePastNow [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 03:07:20 AM  
hbk72777: Why isn't guido replace with "smart and attractive Italian"? Oh, I forgot ,got to pander to the negros

/racism, but only when it's against the blacks


You sound like a Guido.

 
Batewoman 2008-06-27 03:08:04 AM  
Jakevol2: Nannies and vaginal rejuvenation. It's not like she is hurting for money.

.....and breast reduction and tummy tuck and thermage and then of course there are things that you're just NOT going to fix - having babies changes where you gain weight, the shape of your body altogether, even your shoe size.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 03:14:58 AM  
Jakevol2: Nannies and vaginal rejuvenation. It's not like she is hurting for money.

Vaginal rejuvenation is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's muscle people exercise it back into shape.

 
Bloody William 2008-06-27 03:52:55 AM  
Gwendolyn: Jakevol2: Nannies and vaginal rejuvenation. It's not like she is hurting for money.

Vaginal rejuvenation is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's muscle people exercise it back into shape.


Er, only the inner parts are muscle. The bits that are being rejuvenated... let's call it the Arby's Big Montana... that's mostly just skin that's being tightened.

 
TrekRat [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 03:53:23 AM  
There's no "curing" pregnancy body. Even if you could fix the body, the craziness brought about by raising a child would still be there.

The only good thing about pregnancy body is the increase in boob size, though it doesn't appear Miss Church is suffering much in that regard.

 
WFern 2008-06-27 04:01:35 AM  
static.flickr.com

 
Bloody William 2008-06-27 04:03:54 AM  
I don't want to threadjack, but the quote really sticks in my craw.

"We want to have our babies young and then I'm going to get married and look fabulous for that."

Then why the fark are you planning to marry at all, you stupid bint? What exactly is the farking purpose of your marriage? Is this just going to be some selfish excuse to throw a big party, after having a committed relationship for a long enough period of time that you produce and raise several kids?

Typically, marriage is the celebration and codification of the commitment to stay together. If you live together for a while but don't want to call it permanent, that's fine, but if you're bringing children into the world, you should have some farking plan that doesn't involve raising it with your "boyfriend who you'll marry later." Decades-old gay couples are still fighting for the right to make their unions official in the eyes of the law, but Church and her douchebag guido can say, "Well, we squatted out six kids. Let's finally tie the knot." fark you.

/It's late.
//Craw.

 
nomadmalachi 2008-06-27 04:06:29 AM  
Uuuuuuuuuuuh..... o-k. Sure. Six kids, THEN marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a TAD backwards?

/celebrity = batshiat crazy

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 04:21:14 AM  
nomadmalachi: Uuuuuuuuuuuh..... o-k. Sure. Six kids, THEN marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a TAD backwards?

/celebrity = batshiat crazy


Not if you're the aforementioned guido. You're hoping that the six crotchfruit will keep her so busy, she'll completely forget about a prenup.

 
Dirty Hot Linker 2008-06-27 04:22:00 AM  
I get a chuckle when these celebrity-types like to pride themselves on how 'green' they are but they turn-around and have (give birth to, not adopt) kids. Having kids is the LEAST greenest thing a person can do. The most greenest thing to do is to have no children. The second is to have 1 child and teach that child to be green and have none or 1 child and so on and so on.

 
Arthur the Sandwich Maker 2008-06-27 04:32:45 AM  
Dirty Hot Linker: I get a chuckle when these celebrity-types like to pride themselves on how 'green' they are but they turn-around and have (give birth to, not adopt) kids. Having kids is the LEAST greenest thing a person can do. The most greenest thing to do is to have no children. The second is to have 1 child and teach that child to be green and have none or 1 child and so on and so on.

Hmm? Sorry, I was thinking about soup.

 
Dirty Hot Linker 2008-06-27 04:35:32 AM  
Arthur the Sandwich Maker Hmm? Sorry, I was thinking about soup.


Go away, 'baitin!

 
Alphax 2008-06-27 04:51:37 AM  
Cue the 'It's a TRAP!' Admiral Ackbar picture.

 
moel 2008-06-27 05:11:03 AM  
You mean i could have submitted this with a better tag 3 days ago and got a greenlight?

Damnit I thought the welsh slapper wasn't newsworthy enough for fark.com

Seriously she is a munter and deserves to be shot. Her chat show is dire, her singing career is down the pan...gah the mental, and as for Gavin WHAT THE FARK is he doing with her? Seriously he's a rugby player he could have any girl in Wales or England and he picked that bunny boiler

I despair

 
NYZooMan 2008-06-27 07:21:38 AM  
hbk72777: Why isn't guido replace with "smart and attractive Italian"? Oh, I forgot ,got to pander to the negros

/racism, but only when it's against the blacks


It's because they're inferior and can't handle it and need additional protections.

 
Fat Horny Black and Joe 2008-06-27 07:43:04 AM  
"I want all my babies by the time I'm 32 so then I can have everything done." She really doesn't understand how it works does she...

 
The Notorious HIV 2008-06-27 07:53:00 AM  
Just don't try to motorboat her...

 
Broken Logic [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 08:41:07 AM  
hbk72777: Why isn't guido replace with "smart and attractive Italian"?

Because that's an oxymoron.

 
unfarkingbelievable 2008-06-27 08:43:52 AM  
Uh, Char-char, you're doing it wrong!!!

 
immrlizard 2008-06-27 08:44:08 AM  
ultraholland: He looks real enthused about the whole thing.

I doubt he will be there in the end and she will turn into an up sized Britney with a house full of angry little guidos running around

 
1. Put snakes on plane 2008-06-27 08:45:18 AM  
Bloody William: I don't want to threadjack, but the quote really sticks in my craw.

"We want to have our babies young and then I'm going to get married and look fabulous for that."

Then why the fark are you planning to marry at all, you stupid bint? What exactly is the farking purpose of your marriage? Is this just going to be some selfish excuse to throw a big party, after having a committed relationship for a long enough period of time that you produce and raise several kids?

Typically, marriage is the celebration and codification of the commitment to stay together. If you live together for a while but don't want to call it permanent, that's fine, but if you're bringing children into the world, you should have some farking plan that doesn't involve raising it with your "boyfriend who you'll marry later." Decades-old gay couples are still fighting for the right to make their unions official in the eyes of the law, but Church and her douchebag guido can say, "Well, we squatted out six kids. Let's finally tie the knot." fark you.

/It's late.
//Craw.


Well said. I think.

 
AnonymousToast 2008-06-27 09:08:22 AM  
39 posts in a Charlotte Church thread and the only pic that even hints at her mellifluous melons, her fantastic funbags, her bodacious boobzookas, her jiggling jugs of joy, her farkin' TITS doesn't show up until the end?

You farkers disgust me.

 
PizzaJedi81 2008-06-27 09:08:57 AM  
Correct me if I'm wrong (I probably am.), but isn't she a Christian singer?

 
AnonymousToast 2008-06-27 09:11:38 AM  
Aaaaaand now its gone. Wunderbar. Clearly I was hallucinating. As you were, people.

 
Live After Death 2008-06-27 09:27:17 AM  
Come on you twats!! Where are the pics of her massive juggs?!?!

 
LessO2 2008-06-27 09:28:34 AM  
PizzaJedi81: Correct me if I'm wrong (I probably am.), but isn't she a Christian singer?

Probably. Wouldn't that make her sister a....

Sister Christian?

/motorin'
//way too early for me

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 09:48:55 AM  
Dirty Hot Linker: I get a chuckle when these celebrity-types like to pride themselves on how 'green' they are but they turn-around and have (give birth to, not adopt) kids. Having kids is the LEAST greenest thing a person can do. The most greenest thing to do is to have no children. The second is to have 1 child and teach that child to be green and have none or 1 child and so on and so on.

Yeah, I'm going to not have children to make some sandal-wearing peace-creep from the internets happy.

FOAD

 
The Notorious HIV 2008-06-27 09:49:35 AM  
evilbeetgossip.com

/I'm sorry

 
brozer 2008-06-27 10:12:11 AM  
ok, isn't he Welsh, not Italian?

 
zappaisfrank [TotalFark] 2008-06-27 10:28:40 AM  
The guy belongs on hotchickswithdouchebags.com

/would hit it!

 
matalo 2008-06-27 10:36:47 AM  
I was hoping this would turn into a guido thread. There has not been one in a while and I really need a good laugh today. Other than looking in the mirror, that is.

So, to start it off....

www.pyromosh.org

 
GavinTheAlmighty 2008-06-27 10:56:54 AM  
hbk72777

Why isn't guido replace with "smart and attractive Italian"? Oh, I forgot ,got to pander to the negros

Being a guido is a lifestyle choice.

 
Magnir 2008-06-27 10:58:36 AM  
Marla Singer's Laundry: Dirty Hot Linker: I get a chuckle when these celebrity-types like to pride themselves on how 'green' they are but they turn-around and have (give birth to, not adopt) kids. Having kids is the LEAST greenest thing a person can do. The most greenest thing to do is to have no children. The second is to have 1 child and teach that child to be green and have none or 1 child and so on and so on.

Yeah, I'm going to not have children to make some sandal-wearing peace-creep from the internets happy.

FOAD


As Christ himself is my witness I do not think I have ever loved a woman as much as when you said that. How are you on the whole landscaping thing? We talking the full trim or do you leave a little strip, maybe a unicorn or something?

 
docmattic 2008-06-27 11:04:40 AM  
TrekRat: There's no "curing" pregnancy body. Even if you could fix the body, the craziness brought about by raising a child would still be there.

The only good thing about pregnancy body is the increase in boob size, though it doesn't appear Miss Church is suffering much in that regAnonymousToast: 39 posts in a Charlotte Church thread and the only pic that even hints at her mellifluous melons, her fantastic funbags, her bodacious boobzookas, her jiggling jugs of joy, her farkin' TITS doesn't show up until the end?

You farkers disgust me.

...and someone broke the HTML link in your comment box???

 
Olympus Mons 2008-06-27 11:10:14 AM  
I think the whole babies before marriage thing pretty selfish and ass backwards. If you are ready to have babies when someone... freaking get married and GROW UP!...You are, or should feel committed to that relationship, especially if you are having multiple kids.

 
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