Good lord our local newspaper's website is awful.

Headline: Needing gas money, man sells alcohol to teenagers
Story: A man accused of buying alcohol for 14- and 16-year-old girls allegedly told officers he did so because he needed gas money, state police at Carlisle said.

Thank you, Advance Internet. Your in-depth reporting skills make the world a better place for all.

Duly noted.

If I was a horrible person, I'd say that there is a better reason to buy 14-year-old girls beer.
If I was a horrible person.

It is legal to buy some 16-year-olds some gas?

/didn't read the article.

Submitter squandered the opportunity to use a quality [PSA] tag.

Fortunately, he didn't buy them beer. He bought them vodka and raspberry Smirnoff, and, as it happens, $4/gallon gas prices is a legal defense for that.

How did he get caught? He should have just taken their money, told them to wait out by the dumpster so the cops don't catch them and drive away with their money. It's not like they could call the cops.

/14 year olds are stupid
//there's your [PSA]

cue the {lolwut?}, {epic fail}, {pedobear} and {jailbait}

What an amateur. You're not going to get in their pants if you're making the 14-year-olds pay for the booze.

MickeyD: That........tongue

jaylectricity: How did he get caught? He should have just taken their money, told them to wait out by the dumpster so the cops don't catch them and drive away with their money. It's not like they could call the cops.

I would guess that being 14-year-old girls they didn't hide the evidence, got busted by mom, who went to the cops and that lead to the guy getting fingered.

/being fingered by teenage girls isn't always a good thing

uhhh...just for the record, what is a good legal defense for buying beer for 14-year-old girls?

This guy is stupid when u sell alchahol to teens its not only illegal but you are a drug dealer. Now this was a good idea gone wrong i mean if i had 2 six packs or mt. dew in my truck i might sell them to get money for gass but beer is another story. i got to say i notice his atempt to make a profit! 9$ thats more than my alowance when i was a kid!!!

"prices is"?

MickeyD, those two spawn of Gene Simmons?

blick: uhhh...just for the record, what is a good legal defense for buying beer for 14-year-old girls?

Not getting caught usually works.

blick: uhhh...just for the record, what is a good legal defense for buying beer for 14-year-old girls?

Blame it on their pimp.

/Window, please.

Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature, dude.

blick: uhhh...just for the record, what is a good legal defense for buying beer for 14-year-old girls?

I haven't found one yet, but when I do...

Raspberry Smirnoff

There's your crime

lhclubs: "prices is"?

"$4/gallon gas prices" functions as singular noun in that sentence.

YixilTesiphon: lhclubs: "prices is"?

"$4/gallon gas prices" functions as singular noun in that sentence.

Goddamnit.

squeakers241: This guy is stupid when u sell alchahol to teens its not only illegal but you are a drug dealer. Now this was a good idea gone wrong i mean if i had 2 six packs or mt. dew in my truck i might sell them to get money for gass but beer is another story. i got to say i notice his atempt to make a profit! 9$ thats more than my alowance when i was a kid!!!

Can you just do us a favor and not talk again? 'Mkay? Thanks.

Sun God

It is legal to buy some 16-year-olds some gas?

/didn't read the article.

It depends on what you charge them.

I don't think the two girls in the Jailbait picture need anyone else, all things considered...

I'm sorry officer. I....Didn't know I couldn't do that...

/obscure?

jaylectricity: How did he get caught? He should have just taken their money, told them to wait out by the dumpster so the cops don't catch them and drive away with their money. It's not like they could call the cops and say he sexual propositioned them and ruin his life forever.

/14 year olds are stupid
//there's your [PSA]

squeakers241: This guy is stupid when u sell alchahol to teens its not only illegal but you are a drug dealer. Now this was a good idea gone wrong i mean if i had 2 six packs or mt. dew in my truck i might sell them to get money for gass but beer is another story. i got to say i notice his atempt to make a profit! 9$ thats more than my alowance when i was a kid!!!

Wh wh what?

/get a dictionary retard

Taedirk: I don't think the two girls in the Jailbait picture need anyone else, all things considered...

Other than a film crew, lighting, sound...

/oops, I was never here

monkeyman3875: I'm sorry officer. I....Didn't know I couldn't do that...

/obscure?

"Dave... I'm gonna race him..."

What would you do of you had nine dollars?

earlm: What would you do of you had nine dollars?

Get it all in quarters, put them in a sock and go all Charles Bronson on people

squeakers241: This guy is stupid when u sell alchahol to teens its not only illegal but you are a drug dealer. Now this was a good idea gone wrong i mean if i had 2 six packs or mt. dew in my truck i might sell them to get money for gass but beer is another story. i got to say i notice his atempt to make a profit! 9$ thats more than my alowance when i was a kid!!!

Can someone get that monkey off the keyboard?

Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr:

/oops, I was never here

Because I don't want to offend someone that I don't want to offend.

/back to lurking
//sorry

14-year-olds drink? I must have been one nerdy 14-year-old.

earlm: What would you do of you had nine dollars?

Right now...I think I am feeling a burger. Or a sixpack of something not bud light.

monkeyman3875: I'm sorry officer. I....Didn't know I couldn't do that...

/obscure?

Dave Chappelle ftw.

Thank you, MIguy.
That is by far the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Apparently the price of oil has gone up on that news.

Ron Paul Revere: What else is there to report? I personally hate news stories filled with fluff that could've been much more concisely explained in a paragraph or two.

To that end, they could have dropped the article altogether. But being the non-journalist that I am, I can only begin to speculate as to what readers may want. For example, does he have a history of this? Does he have kids? Does he work for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board?

I mean, I'm just sayin'. Either throw some information in there or leave it at the headline. And if you DO have to leave it at the headline, maybe it's not a very good story.

If they're gonna get raped at the pump in two years, you might as well introduce them to the concept now. Stop bubble wrapping your children.

floor9: Ron Paul Revere: What else is there to report? I personally hate news stories filled with fluff that could've been much more concisely explained in a paragraph or two.

To that end, they could have dropped the article altogether. But being the non-journalist that I am, I can only begin to speculate as to what readers may want. For example, does he have a history of this? Does he have kids? Does he work for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board?

I mean, I'm just sayin'. Either throw some information in there or leave it at the headline. And if you DO have to leave it at the headline, maybe it's not a very good story.

I want to know how he got busted?

SharkUW: If they're gonna get raped at the pump in two years, you might as well introduce them to the concept now. Stop bubble wrapping your children.

STFU

knucklebreather: jaylectricity: How did he get caught? He should have just taken their money, told them to wait out by the dumpster so the cops don't catch them and drive away with their money. It's not like they could call the cops.

I would guess that being 14-year-old girls they didn't hide the evidence, got busted by mom, who went to the cops and that lead to the guy getting fingered.

/being fingered by teenage girls isn't always a good thing

I'm saying he never should have bought the booze in the first place. He should have just stolen their money and he would never be in this mess.

squeakers241: This guy is stupid when u sell alchahol to teens its not only illegal but you are a drug dealer. Now this was a good idea gone wrong i mean if i had 2 six packs or mt. dew in my truck i might sell them to get money for gass but beer is another story. i got to say i notice his atempt to make a profit! 9$ thats more than my alowance when i was a kid!!!

Wow. Looks like whoever bought beer for you didn't get caught.

jaylectricity: I'm saying he never should have bought the booze in the first place. He should have just stolen their money and he would never be in this mess.

Well... not to get legalistic, but agreeing to commit a crime is usually arrestable even if you don't do it. Like the guys who agree to meet an underage girl for sex... they aren't off the hook just because they didn't have sex with her (usually she didn't even exist).