Get out the vote and snow 'em under!

put it in a bag for flood protection

What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
Early in the morning?

Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Kill him off humanely

Oooh, stick him up the chimney,
Stick him up the chimney,
Stick him up the chimney,
And let's put out the fire.

Benny Hill, it's the only song that reminded me of. And now it makes me sound like a member of the Richard Gere club.

Hey Adam Geller, AP National Writer... -10 to you. A tamarin is not a lemur. And -10 to your idiot editor too.

unless they shaved his belly with a rusty razor I really don't know what made subby think of that headline.

skinink: Oooh, stick him up the chimney,
Stick him up the chimney,
Stick him up the chimney,
And let's put out the fire.

Benny Hill, it's the only song that reminded me of. And now it makes me sound like a member of the Richard Gere club.

Um no.


This is the song (new window)

Throw him in the longboat 'til he's sober?

Throw him in the bed with the Captain's daughter.

Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight
Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight
Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight early in the morning

Cuzweedoles: Hey Adam Geller, AP National Writer... -10 to you. A tamarin is not a lemur. And -10 to your idiot editor too.

-10 to me too, then.

Shave his belly with a rusty razor.

studebaker hoch: Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight
Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight
Put him in a fark thread, give a greenlight early in the morning

An early winner. I like it :)

Wow, I read this headline while the musak at work was playing the tune, weird

I liked that song much better after the Village People sang it.

Cuzweedoles: Hey Adam Geller, AP National Writer... -10 to you. A tamarin is not a lemur. And -10 to your idiot editor too.

Hey Cuzweedoles, -20 to you for not RTFA; the lemur's further towards the bottom:

"At the St. Louis Zoo, the uncertainties of aging have keepers wondering about the well-being of Ruffles, a black-and-white ruffed lemur. At 31, he's a sage."

Tell it STFU and GTFO,
Tell it STFU and GTFO,
Tell it STFU and GTFO, early in the morning

Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly basting regu-larly

That's a marmoset, not a lemur. And Lemurs aren't monkeys either.

I initially thought this was to the tune of the Wonder Years song. Also, the article is way too long.

Do aging/old animals show signs of dementia? Yes!
But this can not be right doesn't PETA say that all zoos are evil and all these critters should be free to roam? And die at an early age?
Not mention that I am currently taking care of geriatric exotics so I am waiting to get a kick out of these responses.

Doh! Didn't read the entire article. They are talking about all kinds of aging primates.

Joao: That's a marmoset, not a lemur. And Lemurs aren't monkeys either.

prosimian anyone?

As a 28 year old lemur, I'm getting a kick out of this thread

FTA Can an aging lemur suffer from dementia?

Wow, getting straight to the existential questions.

FTA Reasoning that tapirs are not so different from horses, the zoo called in a specialist who performed acupuncture on George, inserting tiny needles at various medians in an effort to ease the pain.

Ah, getting around to the woo now. It's nice to be reminded that zookeepers can be idiots too.

/Get off my lawn tree
//frink

Joao: That's a marmoset, not a lemur. And Lemurs aren't monkeys either.

Wait until you read the article please
Wait until you read the article please
Wait until you read the article please
Lemurs might outsmart you

Kane S. LaTrans: prosimian anyone?

Prosimian cookies are my favorites!

What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
Early in the morning?

Change it's name to "Breakfast" and toss it in the tiger cage.

Came for the "shave his belly with a rusty razor" posts

/wasn't dissapointed

vwfst55: Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly basting regu-larly

mmmh...Lemur barbecue. Sorry, Tamarin barbecue....some lemon, some garlic, drizzle it with honey....mmm.

Reasoning that tapirs are not so different from horses, the zoo called in a specialist who performed acupuncture on George, inserting tiny needles at various medians in an effort to ease the pain.

Short story time. At one point in my college life I took my guinea pig (Morse Code) to a vet. It was the only vet office in the area that would see guinea pigs, and it was a holistic veterenary office. It ranks as one of the more surreal experiences in my life. I sat in the office talking to an assortment of waiting pet owners, who were waiting on: two ferrets on chemo, a cat on herbal diabetes medication, and a dog getting a massage for arthritis.

This is a sort of funny news story though. I say if the critter is comfortable and the care is doable, let him have some easy golden years.

Lemurs the other bush meat!

What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
What do you do with an old age lemur
Early in the morning?

Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Hit him in the head with a ten pound hammer
Kill him off humanely

Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly.
Put it on a spit, roast him slowly basting regu-larly

Serve 'em up with french fries and gravy
Serve 'em up with french fries and gravy
Serve 'em up with french fries and gravy
Feed it to the kiddies!

/riverdances

Give him a shave and a haircut, two-bits
Give him a shave and a haircut, two-bits
Give him a shave and a haircut, two-bits
His mustache is too longggg

mikaloyd: Kane S. LaTrans: prosimian anyone?

Prosimian cookies are my favorites!


prefer pudding, but thanks

Kane S. LaTrans: Do aging/old animals show signs of dementia? Yes!
But this can not be right doesn't PETA say that all zoos are evil and all these critters should be free to roam? And die at an early age?
Not mention that I am currently taking care of geriatric exotics so I am waiting to get a kick out of these responses.


I don't know that there is a universal stance that animal-rights-interested individuals adopt on the two big ethical issues you've raised: the question of zoos, and the question of non-human animal euthanasia. If you're interested in the question of zoos, check out Dale Jamieson's "Against Zoos".

On the second issue, you might take a course on Environmental Ethics where you'll see some different types of argument which invoke different and opposing philosophical justification, for example, involved with arguing "One ought to kill the creature when it is old and displaying such-and-such symptoms" or "One ought never kill the creature, regardless"

Ringshadow
Reasoning that tapirs are not so different from horses, the zoo called in a specialist who performed acupuncture on George, inserting tiny needles at various medians in an effort to ease the pain.

Short story time. At one point in my college life I took my guinea pig (Morse Code) to a vet. It was the only vet office in the area that would see guinea pigs, and it was a holistic veterenary office. It ranks as one of the more surreal experiences in my life. I sat in the office talking to an assortment of waiting pet owners, who were waiting on: two ferrets on chemo, a cat on herbal diabetes medication, and a dog getting a massage for arthritis.

This is a sort of funny news story though. I say if the critter is comfortable and the care is doable, let him have some easy golden years.

Indeed! I'm a vet student at UF. We have a holistics department, an oncology department, and MRI and CT with our radiology department. A lot of people are amazed by what can be done for animals nowadays but veterinary medicine only lags a little bit behind human medicine and sophistication. Usually once a procedure is common enough in human medicine for the cost to go down, you can find it for animals as well.

wildcardjack
It's nice to be reminded that zookeepers can be idiots too.

Why is this idiotic? Acupuncture is a good treatment option for some kinds of chronic pain. I've seen a lot of animals who've really been helped by it.

Jesus christ, I submitted this exact headline yesterday, with voting.

Damn you fark mods!

/off to my Waaaaahmbulance.

All this wasted time and all we had to do to get some farker to post a poem with decent meter was get them to set it to music! That may be the first fark poem/song lyric I don't have to give a fail to. Thank you subby. And now I have to see if I can learn that on my harmonica. Damn you subby. Earli in the mornin'

Zap him in the belly with your trusty Tazer...

"old age" could have been "aged" (pronounced "a-jed") and the meter would have been fine. "Aged" trips off the tongue better.

And I'm a jerk for saying that. But I can't help myself!!

I wanted to write a verse, but I doubt I could do better than mikaloyd. Glad I wasn't drinking when I read that.

He reminds me of this little guy...


"I speak for the trees!"

BuckTurgidson & Day_Old_Dutchie you beat me to the exact same identification.



He was shortish. And oldish.
And brownish. And mossy.
And he spoke with a voice
that was sharpish and bossy.

"Mister!" he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And I'm asking you, sir, at the top if my lungs"-
he was very upset as he shouted and puffed-
"What's that THING you've made out of my Truffula tuft?"

"Look, Lorax," I said."There's no cause for alarm.
I chopped just one tree. I am doing no harm.
I'm being quite useful. This thing is a Thneed.
A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!
It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove, It's a hat.
But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!
Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!"

The Lorax said,
"Sir! You are crazy with greed.
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thneed!"


But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a chap came along,
and he thought the Thneed I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight

I laughed at the Lorax, "You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy."

"I repeat," cried the Lorax,
"I speak for the trees!"

"I'm busy," I told him.
"Shut up, if you please."

// They have Dr. Seuss gold sitting in their laps and they aren't selling it?!?
/// And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Truffula Tree of them all!

This thread is full of win.

Dhusk, I'm going to add this to my version of the song.

Make him a project manager
Make him a project manager
Make him a project manager
Give him a fifth of booze

MagnumP1: Throw him in the bed with the Captain's daughter.

You ain't seen the captain's daughter,
earli in the morning.

/obligatory

Put him in the bilge and make him drink it?

Joao: That's a marmoset, not a lemur. And Lemurs aren't monkeys either.

Actually, it's a Emperor Tamarin, but you were close.