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(MSNBC) Obvious Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 71
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rnokkin 2008-06-22 09:54:35 AM  
Huh, what?

/zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 
baz_rampant 2008-06-22 09:56:59 AM  
Ithink that the "can do" attitude has been replaced some time ago with the more modern "Somebody else will do it"

 
Pope Schizoid XIV 2008-06-22 10:00:04 AM  
Well, they do have a poin...Oh look! NASCAR is on!

 
CitizenjaQ 2008-06-22 10:03:14 AM  
How shocking that there's no byline.

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:04:55 AM  
we live in an age that the corporate media is being challenged. they are trying hard to misconstrue Obama's message and are pushing the gop meme now hard. it's evident in the way this whole public financing is being discussed. McCain who has been breaking the campaign law he co authored for months and whose campaign is fueled by PAC money is comparing Obama's 2 million individual donors to special interest and the corporate media is assisting him. The corporations will do anything to increase their level of influence.

One day Americans may get representation equal to or exceeding that of the corporations and Israel but it will take an overthrow to do it. they won't let go easily.

 
coco ebert [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:05:43 AM  
No, it's called waking up from a dream. The American dream that is.

/Cue dramatic music.

 
masterskip 2008-06-22 10:08:50 AM  
War! Famine! Death! Aids! Homelessness! Recession! Depression!

 
J. Frank Parnell 2008-06-22 10:09:48 AM  
It's not just America. Everytime i have the nerve to mention something on the news like global flooding and suggest it might happen here too, i get assailed by people who think i'm being negative.

"Man's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me." -Academician Prokhor Zakharov

 
Super Chronic 2008-06-22 10:13:22 AM  
Soup lines
Free loaves of bread
Five pound blocks of cheese
Bags of groceries
Social security
Has run out on you and me
We do whatever we can
We gotta duck when the shiat hits the fan

 
smasho 2008-06-22 10:15:48 AM  
ZOMG IT'S TEH END OF THE WORLD
i266.photobucket.com
AAAAAHHH--

wait-- didn't they say this in 1960, when the hippies were burning out and screwing themselves stupid?

and, like, during the industrial revolution? And the Great Depression? And when Caesar was assassinated, and when black people got the right to vote in America? How the hell are we so special just because we have to quit pissing away our oil and
over-selling our credit?

So... like, things change all the time?

Seriously?

AAAAHHH fark IT-- IT's THE APOCALYPSE
i266.photobucket.com

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 10:15:58 AM  
masterskip: War! Famine! Death! Aids! Homelessness! Recession! Depression!

And that is all there is to reality in your world view?

Some of us see hope, change, progressive thinking, and a plan for a better future, you know, just like the plan President Bush described during his candidacy, began implementing after his inauguration, worked to execute throughout his entire presidency and followed through to precision. Just look where that got us.

The Energy President who saved us from an uncertain future.

 
Mithraic_bullshiat 2008-06-22 10:17:55 AM  
Put your faith in the Lord.

i129.photobucket.com

 
Damien not Evil 2008-06-22 10:22:43 AM  
Horseshiat.

I feel sorry for any fellow American who was living in some fantasy world where we would never face hard times... Bad things happen, even to entire nations or generations of people. The lesser able to survive will likely not, but there is no sense biatching about it. One of the only things I truly loathe about our culture is that it's seen as some sort of prideful thing to never claim responsibility for anything... or if something bad happens we have no idea how to just suck it up and move on.

Times change, adapt.. or don't. The world will merrily go on.

It's weird, I was born in '86 but I really have a hard time identifying with a lot of other so-called millenials. Most of my friends are 4-5 years older than me.

It makes me very sad that my generation has been so coddled, so fed a fairy-tale version of the real world with its real problems that we cry injustice when everything & everyone doesn't bend to our fancy.

Reminds me of that great Crane poem:

A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

 
whammer 2008-06-22 10:23:43 AM  
Important End Of The World Notification
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. 1-216-320-9528
Fax: (216) 320-9528
st­ang[nospam-﹫-backwards]su­ine­gb­us­*co­m

CLEVELAND, Ohio: The Church of the SubGenius has
announced that the end of the world will take place in precisely
thirty days, on Saturday, July 5, 2008. In preparation for the
fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church has issued a call to
all of its members, to participate in a festival with rock concerts
and blasphemous rituals taking place in upstate New York, during the
final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.

Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has
predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning
of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the
SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by
escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the
Xists.

The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together
for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Wednesday, July 2, 2008
to Sunday, July 6, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called
Brushwood Folklore Center. The first gathering at this compound took
place in 1996, and the event has increased in size and participants
each following year. 1998 was designated the first true "X-Day," and
each successive year has added one to the total. This year's
celebration in 2008 is X-Day 11, or X-Day XI.

The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to
increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the
Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has
approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has
been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to
conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers,
pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.

The Church is seeking underground bands, indie rockers, performance
artists, and performers and producers from the adult entertainment
industry, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church
doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of free
expression, performance art, rock and roll, pornography, and adult
entertainment; and certain parts of the event will be restricted to
adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius
are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at
its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.


Detailed information about X-Day can be found on the World Wide Web at
the X-Day Web site:

http://www.modemac.com/x-day

The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:

http://www.subgenius.com

Message to ANONYMOUS from the Church of the SubGenius:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rPfHOwxhhg

Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters,
and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its
Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at 1-216-320-9528.

 
masterskip 2008-06-22 10:24:51 AM  
Random Reality Check Settle down, guy. Nothing I post is ever meant to be taken seriously. I'm not one of those opinionated farkers. That was a reference to a comedy bit.

The next line is: I look out my window and *crickets*. Where is all this shiat happening?

Thanks for playing.

 
Scallica 2008-06-22 10:25:28 AM  
Great headline!

img.photobucket.com

 
Xemn 2008-06-22 10:27:00 AM  
FTA: Home values are abysmal.

Why does this always come up as a negative? Home prices have been skyrocketing for the past ten years, to the point that home ownership was becoming an unreachable dream for many people looking for their first home. Now prices are starting to sink back down toward manageable levels. How is that bad?

 
General Vayo [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:28:31 AM  
Yeah, because no other generation in the history of this nation has ever been so hard hit. /sarcasm.

Except for the years 1760-2004.

Hey, here's a "wake up America" call for you: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. All this is a big ol' Pity Party for the shiftless people of this country to whine and complain to those of us who do the work so they can beg for more money from Uncle Sam to "help them through this terrible crisis."

Any student of history will tell you what's happening is nothing new.

/My parents went through this crap in the '70s.
//My grandparents went through it in the '30s.
///My great-grandparents went through far, far worse in the old country; that's why they came here.

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 10:33:02 AM  
smasho: ZOMG IT'S TEH END OF THE WORLD

AAAAAHHH--

wait-- didn't they say this in 1960, when the hippies were burning out and screwing themselves stupid?


I believe they also said that immediately prior to the fall of Rome as well as the period of time leading up to the crumbling of the British and Spanish empires .

smasho: and, like, during the industrial revolution? And the Great Depression?

I think you meant to say when the Industrial Revolution led up to the Great Depression.

smasho: And when Caesar was assassinated, and when black people got the right to vote in America? How the hell are we so special just because we have to quit pissing away our oil and
over-selling our credit?


Remember, the only end of the world that counts to you is the end of your world.

smasho: So... like, things change all the time?

But change is what conservatives believe is the worst form of evil, well, after communism, socialism, Marxism, gays, abortions, any other language but English, taxes, public schools, government (even though they seem to like government well enough to run for it) drugs, nudity, sex (except for when they do it) and the UN. Did I mention the UN?

smasho: Seriously?

No, just kidding.

smasho: AAAAHHH fark IT-- IT's THE APOCALYPSE

I'm sure that if you look hard enough you can see thousands of events where civilizations crumbled into darkness.

Let's not pretend we don't have problems, let's do what all the generations before us have done, recognize what needs to be worked on, come up with the best plan we can formulate, commit the necessary resources and fix the damn problem.

Oh, did I say "all the generations" because I should have added except for the one that is in power now, they have dodged every challenge they could find instead leaving the problem for this generation.

And we're here and we're going to deal with these problems as soon as we retire that group that screwed the pooch recently.

G08ama

 
ctobio 2008-06-22 10:35:51 AM  
Democrat Barack Obama promises bright and shiny change, and his large crowds believe his exhortation, "Yes, we can."

Approves:

upload.wikimedia.org

 
eean 2008-06-22 10:37:07 AM  
I believe they also said that immediately prior to the fall of Rome as well as the period of time leading up to the crumbling of the British and Spanish empires .

zomg, will we suffer the same fate as Britain? Endless period-piece dramas examining our empires demise?

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 10:37:18 AM  
masterskip: Random Reality Check Settle down, guy. Nothing I post is ever meant to be taken seriously. I'm not one of those opinionated farkers. That was a reference to a comedy bit.

The next line is: I look out my window and *crickets*. Where is all this shiat happening?



What you think is a comedy bit, the next lurker takes seriously.
Some of us don't feel comfortable leaving loose ends to be taken seriously.


masterskip: Thanks for playing.

Thanks for inviting me.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:41:13 AM  
Eroding it is a dour powerlessness that is chipping away at the country's sturdy conviction that destiny can be commanded with sheer courage and perseverance.

we haven't quite reached that point yet. middle america is still comfortable and largely unaffected by all of these issues.

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 10:42:10 AM  
eean: zomg, will we suffer the same fate as Britain? Endless period-piece dramas examining our empires demise?

I sincerely doubt it, we are nowhere near as levelheaded.

I think Damien not Evil may have said it best with,

Bad things happen, even to entire nations or generations of people. The lesser able to survive will likely not, but there is no sense biatching about it

It's okay though, who cares about all of those fellow Americans that don't make it - as long as it isn't you - because that would be a real tragedy, right?

 
Arthur Jumbles [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:43:26 AM  
smasho: AAAAAHHH--

wait-- didn't they say this in 1960, when the hippies were burning out and screwing themselves stupid?

and, like, during the industrial revolution? And the Great Depression?


There were whole scale riots in the 60's, grad students blowing up university departments and US soldiers murdering students and peace protesters..... we could have had a rebellion at the time.... I think what we really lacked was a leader to rally the people. Then..... during the Great Depression there was the Business Plot, which looked to use out of work World War I veterans to seize power from FDR.

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 10:46:00 AM  
Weaver95: Eroding it is a dour powerlessness that is chipping away at the country's sturdy conviction that destiny can be commanded with sheer courage and perseverance.

we haven't quite reached that point yet. middle america is still comfortable and largely unaffected by all of these issues.


I disagree, middle America is deeply in debt, (on average) caught dealing with higher energy and food costs, with some losing their jobs and then their homes.

Americans do the "keep a stiff upper lip" thing until they quietly move away after losing it all. They are feeling it inside but just not publicly talking about it.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:48:44 AM  
Arthur Jumbles: There were whole scale riots in the 60's, grad students blowing up university departments and US soldiers murdering students and peace protesters..... we could have had a rebellion at the time.... I think what we really lacked was a leader to rally the people. Then..... during the Great Depression there was the Business Plot, which looked to use out of work World War I veterans to seize power from FDR.

wait 'till the boomers suck social security dry....combine that with an unsteady housing market, a weak dollar and sky high fuel prices....not to mention an increasingly unpopular war and a government that is becoming more paranoid as time goes on...

I don't think we'll see a conspiracy against the government. I think it more likely that our government will simply react badly and incompetently to the problems we face in the next 20 years. The folks up on capital hill can't even bring themselves to acknowledge the impending collapse of social security.....how can you possibly fix something when you can't even admit the problem exists?

 
crazywisdom_uk 2008-06-22 10:49:00 AM  
Wha, whoa, slow down there, sport. The author of the article, that is. Are things getting a little rough around the edges? Yep, can't deny that one. Is it any worse than what our parents and grandparents went through? Nope. Is it good for ya? Yes, yes it is. Because it makes you stronger for the next down-cycle-unless you're one of Darwin's selectees, in which case you'll go the way of the dodo. All fit and proper, really. Live and learn, or die out.

Now then, I spent a great deal of time in Europe, and I can tell you that both camps-both the survivors and the idiots-are endemic to everywhere. No one country has a corner on the market. But I will tell you one thing-us fat, arrogant, thinkingly self-entitled pack of Americans are still tougher, smarter and more survival oriented than any of them. I have faith in us. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but I have no doubt that as a group we can do this. Because we think we can. We've just got to get over this pity-pot we're sitting on. shiat happens. We are no exception.

One thing I'm grateful for-that we got a president and a regime so stupidly self-serving and short-sighted that it makes it clear that we have to change tactics-or drown in our own excess. But the good part is that we're smart enough and resourceful enough. I'm not sure I could say that about other countries-not all the time, anyway.

/knew this was coming-left three years ago
//I'll be back

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 10:50:18 AM  
Random Reality Check: I disagree, middle America is deeply in debt, (on average) caught dealing with higher energy and food costs, with some losing their jobs and then their homes.

Americans do the "keep a stiff upper lip" thing until they quietly move away after losing it all. They are feeling it inside but just not publicly talking about it.


well....I don't know if that's ALL of middle america. One thing that does worry me tho is that my father has been unemployed now for 3 years and has been sleeping on my couch for the past year. I really didn't expect to have to be taking care of my elderly father THIS soon in my life.

 
masterskip 2008-06-22 10:51:36 AM  
Random Reality Check

What you think is a comedy bit, the next lurker takes seriously.
Some of us don't feel comfortable leaving loose ends to be taken seriously.


My bad, I figured the reference was not obscure. This is Fark, after all.

/One line comedy references? In my Fark.com?

 
TehBoognish 2008-06-22 11:00:19 AM  
Remember people, mass hysteria sells.

Would a media conglomerate instigate a riot to televise if they knew they wouldn't get caught?
Would a media conglomerate manipulate facts to instill panic in its viewers?
Would a media conglomerate pimp 12 yr olds on heroin if they would make an extra buck?

Be careful what these people tell you. They are not to be trusted anymore.

 
mnky7 2008-06-22 11:02:46 AM  
as an alarmist i'm getting a kick out or these responses.

 
black_knight 2008-06-22 11:03:37 AM  
www.cinematical.com
That's a big Twinkie.

 
joe manco 2008-06-22 11:07:54 AM  
This is what happens when you fark a stranger in the ass.

 
Keldhera 2008-06-22 11:11:12 AM  
Who ya gonna call??

 
Needlessly Complicated 2008-06-22 11:13:27 AM  
Random Reality Check: Some of us see [...] a plan for a better future, you know, just like the plan President Bush described during his candidacy, began implementing after his inauguration, worked to execute throughout his entire presidency and followed through to precision. Just look where that got us.

The Energy President who saved us from an uncertain future.




*grooooan* it's Saturday morning, the coffee hasn't kicked in yet, and my sarcasm detector isn't warmed up yet. cut that out.

 
Zafo 2008-06-22 11:18:16 AM  
FTA: "Want to escape on the couch? A writers' strike halted favorite TV shows for half a season. The newspaper on the table may soon be a relic of the Internet age. Just as video stores are falling by the wayside as people get their movies online or in the mail."

Well, I'm convinced, the world is clearly ending.

 
boot20 2008-06-22 11:18:24 AM  
Ron Paul Revere: Wake up, America.

Actually, I just got up. I think I'll have nice bowl of cereal, take a dump, and then fly to Chicago.

It's about bloody time.


Are you on your period?

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 11:19:22 AM  
Weaver95: well....I don't know if that's ALL of middle america. One thing that does worry me tho is that my father has been unemployed now for 3 years and has been sleeping on my couch for the past year. I really didn't expect to have to be taking care of my elderly father THIS soon in my life.

I have to tell you, since 2005 I have been seeing more of this type of stuff happening, people in their late 30s/early 40s moving back in with their parents and parents having to move in with their kids.

This is exactly what I meant when I said most Americans are facing harder times but are keeping it in.

This is not a good thing.

 
Random Reality Check 2008-06-22 11:22:23 AM  
Needlessly Complicated: The Energy President who saved us from an uncertain future.

*grooooan* it's Saturday morning, the coffee hasn't kicked in yet, and my sarcasm detector isn't warmed up yet. cut that out.


Oh, sorry.

You should no better than to wander into a Fark thread with an old vacuum tube type sacasometer. You need to get yourself one of those new, instant on, solid state, transistorized, sacarsometer 2000s - they're the best yet.

They have Electrolytes, it's what sarcasm craves.

 
love-m'-beer [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 11:36:48 AM  
Random Reality Check: You should no better than to wander into a Fark thread with an old vacuum tube type sacasometer. You need to get yourself one of those new, instant on, solid state, transistorized, sacarsometer 2000s - they're the best yet.


Ow.

It's Sunday morning, dude. Easy on the typos.

 
adadkbar93 2008-06-22 11:40:45 AM  
I don't know anyone older than me who hasn't had to work through some sort of economic hell. But, my parents and in-laws do say it is a lot worse now though in regards to assets and point to the fact that they bought their first homes in the 60's and paid them off in 3 years. To buy my parents home now (which they bought sans mortgage in the 80's), I'd have to shell out min. $700,000.

So, while my parents and inlaws aren't cash rich (mercedes benz xl's, first class tix), they did end up accumulating 2 homes and additional property just because they could. It works out for us really, because we rent from my folks and can save money to buy a house to never really own from the bank.

 
Kesherz 2008-06-22 11:42:40 AM  
How many words did the editor waste on this article to say absolutely nothing? "Stuff sucks, then it seems to get better, but it really doesn't, so WAKE UP AMERICA!"

o.O

 
dennysgod 2008-06-22 11:52:13 AM  
smasho: ZOMG IT'S TEH END OF THE WORLD

and I feel fine.

 
BrunelloBabe [TotalFark] 2008-06-22 11:52:54 AM  
Heh this headline is what you hear when you call my voicemail.

 
xalres 2008-06-22 11:53:28 AM  
Well what do you expect? The people in this country have had their power kicked out from under us. The ballot box doesn't do anything for us but elect the same corporate whores and pork barrel money grubbers as before. Our interests are taking a back seat to that of corporate friends and donors. Our livelyhood is being sacrificed so they can make a quick buck. America is starting to wake up to the fact that no matter who is in power we're proper farked. And we're supposed to have hope?

 
jekakahn 2008-06-22 11:55:10 AM  
Reminiscent of the recent article where they asked Americans how their country was doing they responded with much gloom and doom but when asked how they themselves were doing, almost all of them said "Doing alright myself, wanna stay for dinner? We just got a new TV and it's pretty awesome."

 
UrinalPooper 2008-06-22 11:57:48 AM  
This thread would be a great opportunity to use the word 'zeitgeist' in a sentence. But I'm just not feeling it today.

So, instead, I give you this:

WE'RE ALL DOOMED*!!!

*surely no one in the history of mankind has ever felt this sentiment the way WE'RE feeling it, amirite?

 
EdBear 2008-06-22 12:13:28 PM  
There is change in the wind - people all over the world feel it.

Nobody has any idea of how it is all going to shake out. That's the hallmark of real history happening.

 
Sumdumfarkr 2008-06-22 12:16:42 PM  
Pent.
Again, pent.
/Now what?

 
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