That's not a grilled cheese sandwich so this formula is useless.

Oh well... I'm still going to go make a grilled cheese sandwich.

"Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

baka-san: "Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

I believe that is similar to mayo except Tyler Durden makes it.

I thought there were lots of pills and various methods to relieve the symptoms of lactose intolerance...

This "news story" has been brought to you by West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers.

baka-san: "Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

salad cream

CravenMorehead: baka-san: "Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

I believe that is similar to mayo except Tyler Durden makes it.

A Heinz product - think of it as the bastard offspring of mayo and ketchup. In bottles, like ketchup (pourable or squeezable). Creamy like mayo. A bit of a vinegary tang to it. Not without its charms...

Bathia_Mapes: baka-san: "Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

salad cream

Hey wait, it doesn't go in the cupboard!

There's no lactose in aged cheese.

Asa Phelps: There's no lactose in aged cheese.

Tell that to my lactose intolerant best friend. The cheddar I served her on that premise was positively elderly and she had a very, very bad night.

And for those asking - think of salad cream as English Miracle Whip.

I'm still waiting for the discovery of the Unified Sandwich Theory.

Deja vu all over again.

What are your 5 favorite pizza toppings will follow.

my_word_is_poontang: A Heinz product - think of it as the bastard offspring of mayo and ketchup. In bottles, like ketchup (pourable or squeezable). Creamy like mayo. A bit of a vinegary tang to it. Not without its charms...

Yeah, I've had it and it has its uses. I was just watching Fight Club and Tyler Durden popped into my head. So to speak.

Purelilac: Deja vu all over again.

What are your 5 favorite pizza toppings will follow.

Well unless if it's a japanese pizza, I don't think mayo's there.

And how much money did they spend developing a "formula" for a cheese sandwich? Holy mother of Amaterasu, why do we need a formula for two slices of bread and something yummy between them? My nephew's current fave is peanut butter, baloney and mayonnaise. How are they gonna make a formula for that?

I'm LI (and eating a big bowl of ice cream), so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Also in about 2 hours I will have a crap that's great and terrible at the same time.

Oh good, I can modify it. No tomato, no mayo. And that was not pickles! For a sandwich, it has to be green! There's one thing missing from this, bacon.

2 slices of bread (user's choice)
2 slices of cheese (American or Cheddar)
2 pickle slices (dill)

1. Place bread on pan and cook at 300 degrees
2. When bread turns brown, place 1 slice of cheese on each slice of bread
3. When cheese melts, remove from oven and put pickles on sandwich
4. Eat

baka-san: "Salad Cream"?

WTF is that?

KY Ranch

People who dip grilled cheese in ketchup are gross. Tomato soup is fine....but ketchup?

Gyrfalcon: And how much money did they spend developing a "formula" for a cheese sandwich? Holy mother of Amaterasu, why do we need a formula for two slices of bread and something yummy between them? My nephew's current fave is peanut butter, baloney and mayonnaise. How are they gonna make a formula for that?

M+A/A=LOX

Done

/Kid is gonna be just fine...

I haven't made a raw cheese sandwich in like ever....

Uhhh, what the hell is that?

No no no no no. You use two slices of wheat bread with the crusts on. Got to have something dry to counteract the cheese.

Butter all sides of the bread. Two slices of American cheese.

How does that require scientists?

Pickle in a cheese sandwich??

Tomato, rubbing some garlic on toasted bread, olive oil. Those are nice additions to a cheese sandwich. I'd rather have a classic grilled cheese any day, though.

Lactose intolerance is a shiatty condition.

/not concerned

Approves.

FS2k: Lactose intolerance is a shiatty condition.

/not concerned

I'd rather chew glass

/feeling pain for those
//okay no

should have been: "after solving all of humanity's problems"

Fark is drunk...

My Perfect Grilled Cheese:

2 slices Cabot Brand Hunters sharp cheddar. (The stuff of course comes in a block, so I have had to perfect the art of slicing)
1 slice Land O' Lakes American (pre-sliced)
2 Slices of Beefeater Seeded Rye

Butter both sides with real butter, toast in a cast iron fry pan, let cool for a few minutes, so that the moisture from the cheddar soaks into the bread. (trust me on this, it is much safer that way)

ENJOY!

WTF is a 'dough modifier'? Is this some British language term?

break99: should have been: "after solving all of humanity's problems"

Fark is drunk...

thank you

Help-Im-Sober: My Perfect Grilled Cheese:

2 slices Cabot Brand Hunters sharp cheddar. (The stuff of course comes in a block, so I have had to perfect the art of slicing)
1 slice Land O' Lakes American (pre-sliced)
2 Slices of Beefeater Seeded Rye

Butter both sides with real butter, toast in a cast iron fry pan, let cool for a few minutes, so that the moisture from the cheddar soaks into the bread. (trust me on this, it is much safer that way)

ENJOY!

Grilled cheese is munchiefood. You put waaaay too much into it. Grilled cheese time.

I will not tolerate this lactose!!!

/when it's bad, it's bad
//none of the "remedies" works

Pumpernickel and Lorraine Swiss. You can even use a light olive oil instead of butter. It will actually taste better.

cksewell: Grilled cheese is munchiefood. You put waaaay too much into it. Grilled cheese time.

Yes, I know, but in the past I used to take the ultimate lazy mans route. I was living in Old Orchard Beach, Maine at a party pad where we wound up developing the "Old Orchard Grilled Cheese."

One Slice Bread, toasted in the toaster, spread some cheap margarine in it, throw a slice of even cheaper sliced cheese on it, fold it in half and consume.

Not pretty but when you are as stoned as we were, this made the perfect cheap snack.

After doing that, I think that my new found passion for delectable grilled cheese sandwiches kind of evens things out.

Pump and Lorraine seconded! Mmmmm...

A little late on the 'salad cream' catch but when I delved slightly deeper and realized, "Oh... Britts!", that explained the science too.

Personal Favorite:

2 thick slices of Wisconsin made Muenster Cheese
2 slices of homemade wheat bread
Wisconsin butter

Golden brown, dust lightly with garlic salt.

The gooiest, buttery crisp mouthfeel you will ever experience in a kitchen.

A few slices of haloumi, grilled or broiled until golden, on fresh french bread.


Goddamn, that is good.

so the perfect sammich all comes down to who cut the cheese?

...couldnt help myself

The perfect cheese sandwich doesn't need a formula. It just needs to be eaten off of Jessica Alba.

/sans herps

subby: Scientists discover formula for perfect cheese sandwich

It's called a recipe.

mmmmmmm.... salad cream.

No, what scientists (or probably more likely *a* scientist) has discovered is they get paid money to trot out some mathematical gibberish. Said gibberish gets palmed off as a formula to give some cheap publicity to a cheese manufacturer.

Way to cheapen your profession Mr Scientist.

d'art: I'm LI (and eating a big bowl of ice cream), so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Also in about 2 hours I will have a crap that's great and terrible at the same time.

2 hours? I don't even make it a full 30 minutes. Haven't had ice cream in years...

7bates, my (lactose tolerant) wife is going to find that hilarious.

/having lactaid milk w/my cereal

Perfect cheese sandwich? I've already found a place that does that.
Melt (new window)

Grilled cheese? Kraft slices and bacon FTW!

TheOnion: lactose

Asa Phelps: There's no lactose in aged cheese.

This is what's locally referred to as a "steaming shovelful". The lactose content is reduced, but it's still there and can be quite painful.

TheOnion: TheOnion: I thought there were lots of pills and various methods to relieve the symptoms of lactose intolerance...

The pills (and other alleged remedies) reduce the impact, but it depends on the level of intolerance. Those mildly intolerant are helped by the pills, but the totally intolerant aren't. Everyone's ability to process lactose starts to decline around the age of seven. Usually the decline is so gradual it isn't noticed. In some the decline is rapid and the effects of lactose are quite pronounced. A friend once told me he was lactose intolerant because a couple of large bowls of ice cream gave him a mild stomach ache. After I told him what four ounces of milk did to me, he rethought his situation.

No doubt that this was some grad student's thesis.