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(USA Today) Followup U.S. to Iran: "You can't have nuclear weapons because you are irresponsible." U.S. Air Force to the world: "Has anyone seen several hundred nuclear missile components? We seem to have misplaced them."   (blogs.usatoday.com) divider line 52
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Etchy333 [TotalFark] 2008-06-19 11:48:08 PM  
Have they tried eBay?

 
CoRDS [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 12:23:33 AM  
I think I know where they are

Link

 
Makh [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 12:24:29 AM  
Do they have cats? Those components are probably under the radiator.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 12:48:10 AM  
img398.imageshack.us


Aim High!

 
UberDave [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 01:08:57 AM  
Makh: Do they have cats? Those components are probably under the radiator.


You don't know how close that may be. First off, the "components" are probably just be something like a bracket assembly, or ribbon cable or a set of splines, etc. It's probably nothing glamorous...they would never say what the items are if it was a bunch of mundane parts...which is probably what this is.

My guess is that these are unclassified that are supposed to have their disposal tracked - meaning that if you toss it in the trash can, you need to mark that down somewhere. The ones they can't find that are not trashed are probably sitting in someone's desk back in support.

When the media runs another story like this and flashes the word "critical component", then you can start to wonder. If something like that goes missing, someone somewhere farked up seriously.

 
EL_FABREZ 2008-06-20 01:40:30 AM  
I guess we'll be calling Taiwan again. Goddamned UPS can't do anything right.

 
Rockdrummer 2008-06-20 01:41:35 AM  
They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people. Where's obvious tag when yuou need it? Submitter gets -1 for suggesting Iran is more responsible with nuclear capability.

 
TaGirl_Keri 2008-06-20 01:41:48 AM  
Also we misplaced 5 nukes in the US, and somehow some bits where sent to Taiwan. We are good at praying though.
Can we has cheeseburger now?

 
inconnu 2008-06-20 01:53:18 AM  
If even the U.S Air Force has trouble, imagine how much difficulty a bunch of dirt-scratching towelhead extremists will have keeping the nukes safe before one is conveniently lost on a cargo ship bound for New York.

 
MrEricSir 2008-06-20 01:53:32 AM  
Etchy333: Have they tried eBay?


My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

 
N8 the grate 2008-06-20 01:55:41 AM  
www.jlh-design.com

 
hyperspacemonkey 2008-06-20 01:57:08 AM  
Rockdrummer: They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people. Where's obvious tag when you need it? Submitter gets -1 for suggesting Iran is more responsible with nuclear capability.

You are so good at treading on thin ice! And potentially missing the point, too. That whole Cold War thing was a time when the USA pointed it's nuclear arsenal at all sorts of innocent people and kept up a constant state of threat, for decades. Since Cold War military and political leaders still lead the USA, the world has very little patience for American claims of responsibility. Which doesn't mean the world has no patience for such claims, just that they have to be phrased a little bit better.

/same goes for Russia

 
The RIchest Man in Babylon 2008-06-20 02:02:15 AM  
This thread is either chock full of stupid or trolls, maybe stupid trolls. I can't quite tell.

 
The guy at the end of the thread 2008-06-20 02:02:39 AM  
Rockdrummer: They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people. Where's obvious tag when yuou need it? Submitter gets -1 for suggesting Iran is more responsible with nuclear capability.

How many nuclear weapon components has Iran misplaced vs. the U.S?

Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

 
Mr. Anon 2008-06-20 02:05:36 AM  
again?

 
varmitydog 2008-06-20 02:15:02 AM  
CoRDS: It could very well be that Israel is behind this. There have been multiple cases of Israeli spies shuttling nuclear technology and advanced weapons systems parts from top-level security bases in the USA back to Israel over the last two decades.

There are two other scenarios, one is that they were sold to them by someone on the inside; the lack of oversight all across the board in the USAF would give rise to some clever thief attempting to make a few million dollars for themselves.

But I think the most likely scenario is just plain incompetence. I have been dealing with some of the military contractors out at the local base, and I don't think I've ever met a more slack group of individuals in my life. They come to work late and leave early, and often take 4 hour lunches, coming back drunk. And when they actually do show up, they are all about appearances, proving to everybody that they are the "boss". Since most of the contracted services are being done by recently retired USAF personal, doing the same job as before they got out (at nearly double the pay), the work gets done because they pay no attention to them and just do what they have always done. I myself absolutely refuse to deal with some of them unless they give me orders in writing, because they have no integrity and will change their minds, then lie and attempt to blame you for following their orders. I can easily see one of these yo-yo beans sending top classified parts out of the nation.

And the sad part is, while these guys are slack at their job, they are masters at covering their asses. The real story of what went on here may never be found out.

 
Rockdrummer 2008-06-20 02:25:12 AM  
That whole Cold War thing was a time when the USA pointed it's nuclear arsenal at all sorts of innocent people and kept up a constant state of threat, for decades

Let me edumacate you, my man - the fact that we had nukes pointing at Russia in defense was the only thing that kept the peace.

The Guy At The End of the Thread: What an inane argument. We don't know how maqny nukes they have, lost, hidden or shipped out. They won't allow inspections. Oh yeah, let's wait until they blow us up, then we'll take some strong action by golly.

/You people don't really vote, do you?

 
One F Jef 2008-06-20 02:30:35 AM  
Rockdrummer: That whole Cold War thing was a time when the USA pointed it's nuclear arsenal at all sorts of innocent people and kept up a constant state of threat, for decades

Let me edumacate you, my man - the fact that we had nukes pointing at Russia in defense was the only thing that kept the peace.

The Guy At The End of the Thread: What an inane argument. We don't know how maqny nukes they have, lost, hidden or shipped out. They won't allow inspections. Oh yeah, let's wait until they blow us up, then we'll take some strong action by golly.

/You people don't really vote, do you?


Wow, the republicans have you scared shiatless. You really think the world is constantly an asshairs breadth away from destruction? Go smoke a joint and chill out bro, your life must be awful, living in constant fear and all.

 
Rockdrummer 2008-06-20 02:33:24 AM  
No, One F - I lived through the Cold War, I wasn't re-educated in public school. The world was close to mutual destruction; those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. Now go sit in your corner smoking a joint and leave world affairs to smart people.

 
mr_zero [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 02:34:19 AM  
Wow, the republicans have you scared shiatless. You really think the world is constantly an asshairs breadth away from destruction? Go smoke a joint and chill out bro, your life must be awful, living in constant fear and all.

This.

 
lnuttyco 2008-06-20 02:36:11 AM  
Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

US 0: Iran 0 -> Hiroshima and Nagasaki were both cities with major military bases

 
cryptozoophiliac 2008-06-20 02:36:40 AM  
Rockdrummer: Let me edumacate you, my man - the fact that we had nukes pointing at Russia in defense was the only thing that kept the peace.

The Guy At The End of the Thread: What an inane argument. We don't know how maqny nukes they have, lost, hidden or shipped out. They won't allow inspections. Oh yeah, let's wait until they blow us up, then we'll take some strong action by golly.

/You people don't really vote, do you?


Ah, sweet lady irony, whose bounty includes knuckle dragging warmongers pissing their pants over Iranian hyperbole. What makes you think Iran wants to nuke the US? "Death to the Great Satan" might get the masses worked up, but it's a sure fire way to end the Iranian Revolution post haste.

You're obviously too young to remember, but there were idiots just like you who believed that the Soviets would nuke us as well, especially after Nikita K. banged his shoe at the UN and told Americans that the Soviets would "bury you". Remember (of course you don't; you were born in 1978), Communists were "Godless" and therefore didn't care if they lived or died.

Crack a book once in a while, Mortimer, and while your at it, Google "Curtis LeMay". Scare mongering was not invented by George w. and Dick Cheney (though they may have perfected it).

 
24-Bit Voxel 2008-06-20 02:42:07 AM  
Rockdrummer: They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people. Where's obvious tag when yuou need it? Submitter gets -1 for suggesting Iran is more responsible with nuclear capability.

Oh man... you're either a brilliant troll or incredibly stupid. Either way this thread is going to run a train on you.

img237.imageshack.us

You do realize that we're the only country to use nukes on civilians right? Russia and the US promised to nuke eachother out of existence if either one attacked the other. This of course would have brought down half the world or more with us/them. We don't exactly have a good record here.

 
spamdog [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 02:43:30 AM  
Rockdrummer: The world was close to mutual destruction; those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

We bombed Russia's nuke facilities?

 
spamdog [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 02:44:46 AM  
Rockdrummer: Now go sit in your corner smoking a joint and leave world affairs to smart people.

You can be sure if someone makes a comment like this, there are gaping holes in their knowledge.

 
Whatsleft 2008-06-20 02:56:14 AM  
lnuttyco: Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

US 0: Iran 0 -> Hiroshima and Nagasaki were both cities with major military bases


9.5 for your mental gymnastics floor routine.

/Still think that the bombing was justified, but you don't have to pedal some rediculous lie and say they were military targets

 
andrewagill 2008-06-20 02:57:29 AM  
lnuttyco: Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

US 0: Iran 0 -> Hiroshima and Nagasaki were both cities with major military bases


I actually agree with you. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were military targets, chosen for military reasons, and most of the casualties were probably military. BUT.

This girl doesn't look like a military girl. (NSFW Hiroshima victim)

 
mister13 2008-06-20 02:58:28 AM  
submarinewife.files.wordpress.com

I don't have time, where are the parts?!

 
FuturePastNow [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 03:06:56 AM  
"Components" could be anything. Unless there's nuclear material involved, no one outside the Air Force should give a crap about this.

 
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor 2008-06-20 03:22:26 AM  
The guy at the end of the thread: Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

"I think that it is well for the man in the street to realize that there is no power on earth which can protect him from being bombed. Whatever people may tell him, the bomber will always get through... The only defence is in offence, which means that you have to kill more women and children more quickly than the enemy if you want to save yourselves."

Total war isn't pretty. Trying to demonize the United States' actions in lieu of recognizing the horrific nature of warfare won't get you anywhere. Götterdämmerung.

 
cryptozoophiliac 2008-06-20 03:28:18 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: The guy at the end of the thread: Who has dropped the most atomic bombs ontop of non-combatants?

"I think that it is well for the man in the street to realize that there is no power on earth which can protect him from being bombed. Whatever people may tell him, the bomber will always get through... The only defence is in offence, which means that you have to kill more women and children more quickly than the enemy if you want to save yourselves."

Total war isn't pretty. Trying to demonize the United States' actions in lieu of recognizing the horrific nature of warfare won't get you anywhere. Götterdämmerung.


Indeed not. But it won't help your case for preemptive military strikes against a potential nuclear power when the world knows your country is the only one to have actually nuked anyone.

And by the way, WE'RE NOT AT WAR!

 
andrewagill 2008-06-20 03:56:55 AM  
FuturePastNow: "Components" could be anything. Unless there's nuclear material involved, no one outside the Air Force should give a crap about this.

Technically, this is bullshiat.

If someone got his or her hands onto a fully-functional conventional charge from a gun assembly, sans nuclear material, it would actually be more important to a rogue state than the actual nuclear material. They could get that in their own time.

The actual mechanics of the device are high-precision, and having a prototype to work from would help much more than the nuclear material, which they will have to mine and purify themselves anyway, if they intend on making more than one.

But like someone said above, it's probably a screw or a mounting bracket or something.

 
The guy at the end of the thread 2008-06-20 04:29:01 AM  
Rockdrummer: The Guy At The End of the Thread: What an inane argument. We don't know how maqny nukes they have, lost, hidden or shipped out. They won't allow inspections. Oh yeah, let's wait until they blow us up, then we'll take some strong action by golly.

All I did was provide two questions countering your two statements. Apparently I successfully hit a nerve.

To clairify: your very first statement was "They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people"

As if your country is in a possision for argue against the killing innocent as justification against the possesion of nuclear weapons. Given America's track record for bombing the fark out of innocent people, it is kind of a double standard.

/You people don't really vote, do you?

Considering I'm not American citizen, I doubt that you would want me to participate in your electoral process. Florida.

BTW, Doesn't your president have like 35 farking counts of impeachement against him? 78% disapproval rating? How's the investigations going?

 
bearded clamorer 2008-06-20 04:41:55 AM  
Trigger, please!

 
The guy at the end of the thread 2008-06-20 04:50:04 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: Götterdämmerung.

ecx.images-amazon.com
Approves

 
Phil Moskowitz 2008-06-20 06:06:39 AM  
The CIA gives Iran the detonator block, then you go about bombing them. farking brilliant. You'll be able to keep this up for another trillion dollars or so. Who knows when the marker will finally be called in and institutions run wholesale to the emerging markets.

 
wolvernova 2008-06-20 07:56:58 AM  
Rockdrummer: They can't have nuclear weapons because they would use them to kill innocent people.

No they won't. Them nuking anybody would directly impede their regional ambitions. You get an F------------- in foreign policy. Try again.

 
Jackpot777 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-06-20 08:09:39 AM  
Subby: Followup - U.S. to Iran: "You can't have nuclear weapons because you are irresponsible." U.S. Air Force to the world: "Has anyone seen several hundred nuclear missile components? We seem to have misplaced them."

i301.photobucket.com

/10,000 spoons ironic (even though that's not ironic)

 
oryx 2008-06-20 08:45:57 AM  
It's more like: U.S. to Iran: "You can't have nuclear weapons because you are irresponsible a bunch of crazy nuts."

 
Saiga410 2008-06-20 09:09:56 AM  
re: missles pointed at russia

I find it hard to believe that the US has hundreds of nuclear topped missles pointed at the USSR during the cold war. There are not that many military contractors stoopid enough to install one of those suckers upside down and a little off kilter. A few I will give you but hundreds?

 
goodbomb 2008-06-20 09:14:09 AM  
you like giving handjobs?

no.

you like getting handjobs?

yeah

well then your a hypocriticiser too.

 
Glasgowsfinest [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 09:30:46 AM  
Whats a "missle"?

 
driven to quit [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 09:43:15 AM  
MrEricSir: Etchy333: Have they tried eBay?


My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay


I kinda liked that song from Weird Al.

 
UberDave [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 10:00:51 AM  
TaGirl_Keri: Also we misplaced 5 nukes in the US...


Too bad that's the official word right now. I still think someone ordered that to happen. And if that's the case, you had a whole load of numb-nuts who obeyed that order...that's another problem.

 
Ed Finnerty 2008-06-20 10:08:32 AM  
Glasgowsfinest: Whats a "missle"?

Like a "hittle" but with less fire and rubble.

 
jso2897 2008-06-20 10:33:02 AM  
The RIchest Man in Babylon: This thread is either chock full of stupid or trolls, maybe stupid trolls. I can't quite tell.

i18.photobucket.com

 
Quotizmo [TotalFark] 2008-06-20 10:47:03 AM  
What about this? We worked very closely with the U.K. in recent years. The U.K. was the biggest arms dealer last year. Maybe they are helping us get rid of "extra stock" and we haven't found an adequate system for updating our inventory to reflect this arrangement.

I can has baseless speculation before breakfast? I can.

 
fastbow 2008-06-20 11:02:20 AM  
Maybe Doc Brown's just moved up from using old pinball machine parts...

 
jjorsett 2008-06-20 11:04:26 AM  
If by 'irresponsible' you mean "Threaten Israel and other non-Muslim countries with annihilation," then, yeah I guess 'irresponsible' would work.

 
negatore 2008-06-20 01:25:57 PM  
varmitydog: CoRDS: It could very well be that Israel is behind this. There have been multiple cases of Israeli spies shuttling nuclear technology and advanced weapons systems parts from top-level security bases in the USA back to Israel over the last two decades.

There are two other scenarios, one is that they were sold to them by someone on the inside; the lack of oversight all across the board in the USAF would give rise to some clever thief attempting to make a few million dollars for themselves.

But I think the most likely scenario is just plain incompetence. I have been dealing with some of the military contractors out at the local base, and I don't think I've ever met a more slack group of individuals in my life. They come to work late and leave early, and often take 4 hour lunches, coming back drunk. And when they actually do show up, they are all about appearances, proving to everybody that they are the "boss". Since most of the contracted services are being done by recently retired USAF personal, doing the same job as before they got out (at nearly double the pay), the work gets done because they pay no attention to them and just do what they have always done. I myself absolutely refuse to deal with some of them unless they give me orders in writing, because they have no integrity and will change their minds, then lie and attempt to blame you for following their orders. I can easily see one of these yo-yo beans sending top classified parts out of the nation.

And the sad part is, while these guys are slack at their job, they are masters at covering their asses. The real story of what went on here may never be found out.


As a soldier who was kicked out for responsible cannibis use on my own time, I'm getting a kick out of this thread.

/never lost a weapon, or any other military equipment (TA-50) for that matter

//Airborne!

///Can't re-enlist, but has full benefits, College, VA loan, etc.

 
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