Gotta have "Dancing Queen" when I'm drunk and depressed at a bar.

Anything by Linkin Park.

What no repeating 45 of Flipper's Brainwash?

THIS LIST IS BULLSHIATE.

Seriously this was a classic. The 45 was engineered so that it would repeat what was already a redundant song ad naseum. They had it on the jukebox of my favorite college bar for about a week until the bartender freaked out and shattered the disc by throwing it at the wall.

For quality mileage for your hard-earned buck, the best songs to play on the jukebox at a bar are these:

Spiritualized "Cop Shoot Cop"
Smashing Pumpkins "Silverfark"
Television "Marquee Moon"
Tortoise "Djed"
Jimmy Smith "The Sermon"

and the all-time best one I've ever tortured a crowded bar with:

Monster Magnet "25...Tab"

32 minutes of droning heavy guitar psychedelia. It was a sad day indeed when Ecast dropped it.

Oh, and I've always hated "American Pie," but I only wish that the Beatles were on more jukeboxes.

That list was written by someone who has probably never spent much time in bars.

They forgot one. Youtube Link (new window)

tin_man: That list was written by someone who has probably never spent much time in bars.

Did you see the Holy Taco page it linked to? That's the guy that either needs to actually go to bars or find better ones.

I suppose it all depends on the kind of bar you are in.

Some bars have nothing BUT ABBA, Scissor Sisters, and Elton John.

Some bars have old crap, some have new crap.

Some bars have nothing, just whatever the bartender is listening to on TV or radio.

Why didn't subby link to the actual list with the reasoning behind each pick? that would have been much better, as the author's reasons are quite amusing.
It's here:
Link(new window)
And, what is a "fupa"? It is in the linked article. I am afraid to GIS it because it was linked with the word "gunt" and I know what that is. And I am at work.

Surly_Duff
Thanks for the link to the full article. You're right: it makes a whole lot more sense this way. It's also pretty funny.
However, it stands out rather glaringly that the author has a huge problem with middle-aged people: it almost seems to be pathological with this guy. He needs to take a gigantic chill-pill and get his little whipper-snapping ass off my lawn.

Frat Boys: OHHHHHHHH - WE'RE HALF WAY THERE!!!
OHHHH - OW!!! LIVIN' ON A PRAY-ER!!!

My Gun: *BANG!*

*thud*

A man can dream can't he...

Surly_Duff: Why didn't subby link to the actual list with the reasoning behind each pick? that would have been much better, as the author's reasons are quite amusing.
It's here:
Link(new window)
And, what is a "fupa"? It is in the linked article. I am afraid to GIS it because it was linked with the word "gunt" and I know what that is. And I am at work.

Fupa = fat upper pussy area. Means the same thing as gunt

In the early 80s when I was a teenager in highschool I worked as a Piano Bar player.

Songs I hated getting requests for:

Piano Man
Feelings
The Rose
Misty

All these divorced cougars would sit around the piano, chain smoking and drinking whiskey sours asking me if I'd like to go back to their room for a little cocktail when I finished my set.

Don't Stop Believing? Writer can DIAF.

People have opinions!

Larry the Fish: People have opinions!

No they don't!

It's interesting...I've always been of the opinion that a bar peaks when 'sweet home alabama' is played in whatever form (jukebox/cover band/etc). Sort of a good indicator that this shark has been jumped at a particular establishment.

Solid State Vittles: For quality mileage for your hard-earned buck, the best songs to play on the jukebox at a bar are these:

The best song to play at a bar is anything by Clutch.

I like to put in $10 and just let it ride on the timeless classic by Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters.

For shiats and giggles, anytime the jukebox has it I'll play "Brand New Key" by Melanie off the Boogie Night's soundtrack. That throws the whole bar into a fit. Then, Tom Wait, the Pixies or George Thorogood to get things back to right.

seconded GAT_00

I saw Momma Mia in NYC recently...

ABBA is da bomb!

Love "Dancing Queen"

\always have...
\\always will...
\\\sounds very gay...
\\\\no need to tell me -- I know how gay it sounds!

I would have to say that Ridin' Dirty by Chamillionaire should never be played in any bar. what a stupid song.

Ghastly: In the early 80s when I was a teenager in highschool I worked as a Piano Bar player. All these divorced cougars would sit around the piano, chain smoking and drinking whiskey sours asking me if I'd like to go back to their room for a little cocktail when I finished my set.

Am I the only one laughing out loud?

Bah, I'm only 22 and if you're drunk enough and enough of your friends are around, Piano Man is a great song, SING ALONG time YAAAAAAY!

Not joking

As long as no one in your group requested that is.

I know I'm just a small town boy.

I can't look at the list for fear of having tunes stuck in my head?

Is anything by ABBA on the list? Fernando?

exit: Larry the Fish: People have opinions!

No they don't!

Yes, I believe that's true.

/Dumbass

In the Bang-for-your-buck dept:
"Shine on You Crazy Diamond"
usually broken up into parts 1-5 and 6-9.

Pay for 2 songs, get like 25 minutes of listening pleasure.

/you're welcome

1, 7, 12

Having worked in a bar in my youth I must say having no Jimmy Buffet on that list invalidates it. Hearing the first two seconds margaritaville still makes feel all kinds of stabby.

PenguinTheRed

That song brings out the Jersey in me :-)

I actually love most of the songs on that list.

Step 1: Pick the worst possible song you can find on the jukebox ("Come Sail Away" is perfect)
Step 2: Insert a $20 bill and select the same song repeatedly until the $20 is used up
Step 3: Watch everyone get ragingly pissed off when it comes on the 3rd, 4th, 27th time
Step 4: Hide your laughter and act pissed off so nobody knows that it's your doing
Step 5: Profit

wrightb71: I know I'm just a small town boy.

any chance that you're living in a lonely world?

This one (new window) should definitely be on the list.....

Sweet Home Alabama? It's the Auburn mating song. If a couple of girls wearing AU sweatshirts are in a bar and have had a couple, It must be played. Take credit for playing it, and you're home free.

Add Devil Went Down to Georgia.

MEH

man, who writes these lists? they're farking idiots

mountain jam off live @ filmore east. guaranteed awesome half hour.

Sorry subby, "Don't stop believing" is the worst offender of them all. As soon as that starts playing, every attention-whoring sorostitute in the bar goes running to the dance floor: "OH EM GEE this is my song!!!11one!!"

Makes me want to punch babies.

NYZooMan: Add Devil Went Down to Georgia.

Yes. Add it twice if you have to.

moeriscus: Makes me want to punch babies.

and yet you quote dane cook

Not a single country song among them? Epic fail.

/'cause I got friends in low pla *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*

This asswipe has either never been in a bar band or thinks he's one of those post everything jerkwads who thinks shouting "FREEBIRD!" is ironic.

Wow. This is totally weird.



Ok, not really.

Break Stuff by Limp Dicklet must go. Every "tough guy" thinks it gives them an excuse to lose all humanity. Well, what little they had.

TheShavingofOccam123: I can't look at the list for fear of having tunes stuck in my head?

Is anything by ABBA on the list? Fernando?

Buddy and I type old 80's lyrics back and forth on msn in an attempt to ruin each others day. I got him with the Welcome back Kotter theme, and he responded with Hall and Oates. War is hell.

Try and find this one in a jukebox...

"You do not like my Jazz selection"
(couldn't find the exact pic)