Oh my god! I'm going to D-I-E!

I for one, will avoid being eaten by bringing a goat to sacrifice to her.
/how she has not collapsed in on herself is beyond me...
//love her music
///slashies wants a donut...

I hate fat people too.

Show some RESPECT!!!!

/and bring some fixins

I saw her about 2 years ago. It was a good show but I wondered who let her go out on stage looking like a bag lady, the poor thing. The 'Queen of Soul' shouldn't do a public appearance looking like her hair hasn't been washed in days and wearing a old dress that looked like she found it on the floor.

Urethra Franklin?

Who wants seconds? Raise your hand!

Jesus...I should really read the thread before I post sometimes. Second post, and I missed that...Oy.

I need more coffee.

thank god im notgoing to go to go home this year cause she is going to eat everyone at fort adams

I imagine subby's contribution to music are substantially greater.

Jerk.

Ellipsis is used to show that something has been excised from a quote, to indicate a pause in speech longer than would be indicated by a comma or period, or to show speech that trails off.

For the job you have, you really needed a comma. That's why your post is awkward.

/the more you know
/Heil Bernstein!

It still would have been pretty awkward with a comma. A semi-colon could have done the trick combined with a witty quip about how she was might have eaten the audience.

She's a living legend.
Her performances are still outstanding.

/guessing subby may never be legendary at anything

Oh shut the hell up.

You sing better.

Grrrrrrrrr.

INVISIBL PORK MILKSHAKE

-1 subby for incorrect use of Fark meme. Comma instead of elipsis please.

the attendees should turn the tables and eat her
there's enough to go around

I hate the "Aretha is Fat" bullshiat. Yes, she is. No, you're not clever for pointing it out.

Aretha is AMAZING, and came back from devastation wrought by some loser deadbeats in her family. I'm glad she's still contributing to music.

FTFA:

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Awkward

p the boiler I did not need to see those. Now I can't unsee them, my day has been ruined. Not even going back to the keira thread will save me.

/she can sing
// she is a big woman
///invisable por milkshake made me laugh

Fat jokes are too easy. Lazy unfunny asshats fall back on them to make themselves feel funny. They're not, just hurtful and shallow.

Aretha is beyond compare musically.

Urethra Franklin is my favorite fark handle yet.

I'm sorry, but that headline was pretty funny to me. While degrading, mean, harsh, etc, I still was laughing. It didn't even matter who the person was, and I still probably would've laughed.

/"Sometimes I fear I really am too evil."

You kids all aught to carry your narrow butts down to Newport and watch Aretha. Then when you go home, get on your knees and thank God that you were privileged enough in your life to witness such greatness.

/ Hey nineteen
// That's Aretha Franklin
/// Queen of Soul, you know

theres about 5 shiatloads of awesome things happening at newport this year that this article failed to mention. check it out:

Link

She has become fairly good at skipping concerts lately. I got stiffed by Aretha the morning of a concert at Casino Rama about a month ago. That sucked.

I mean, what is so hard about doing the same set you've done for 40 years and staying in the Elvis suite of a major casino? All while getting waited on and fed impressive quantities of whatever the hell it is the "Super big gulp of Soul" is currently plowing down?

I was pretty let down. Screw you Aretha Franklin.

People, people! We are all missing some very important details; it's not about fat or skinny. It's a race issue. I mean come on: Newport? Jazz? Aretha?

It's funny cuz she's fat and gets hungry

Ahhh_Ennui Aretha is AMAZING, and came back from devastation wrought by some loser deadbeats in her family. I'm glad she's still contributing to music.

"Who's Zoomin Who?"
"Freeway of Love"
"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)"

I'd be more glad if she stopped contributing to music in the early 70's.

Sorry, but I really don't think she is all that great. Every time I see her, she just sounds like a bunch of screaming.
Not very much singing.

badkaraoke: She has become fairly good at skipping concerts lately.

Aretha backed out of our big local theatre's annual gala a couple years ago. We got Gladys Knight instead. Who still brings it, btw.

The book on Aretha is a lot like that on Van Morrison - if she shows up inspired you'll get something amazing, but she could just as easily mail it in or bag the show altogether.

badkaraoke: She has become fairly good at skipping concerts lately. I got stiffed by Aretha the morning of a concert at Casino Rama about a month ago. That sucked.

I mean, what is so hard about doing the same set you've done for 40 years and staying in the Elvis suite of a major casino? All while getting waited on and fed impressive quantities of whatever the hell it is the "Super big gulp of Soul" is currently plowing down?

I was pretty let down. Screw you Aretha Franklin.

yea I came here to say this. She stiffed our local venue twice in three years. Good luck getting her to show.

I lover her voice too, but one of these days she's going to collapse like a beached whale and that'll be that. It won't be long either. Sad.

/CPR??? You gotta be shiattin' me
//like farking a pillow
///forget it

Gulper Eel: badkaraoke: She has become fairly good at skipping concerts lately.

Aretha backed out of our big local theatre's annual gala a couple years ago. We got Gladys Knight instead. Who still brings it, btw.

Aretha's got soul, Gladys's got class.

/Love 'em both.

Aretha is seriously one of the most talented singers to ever walk the face of this earth. Why no one is helping her with some sort of caring weight intervention is beyond me. You'd think that friends would help? Right? I mean this woman is a legend.

I know that if I were her friend, I would at least try.

NewportBarGuy: Oh my god! I'm going to D-I-E!

I can see it now... YOU running half naked and drunk down Memorial Blvd, in fear, at 1:00 AM.

j/k

Hey Nineteen
That's 'Retha Franklin
She don't remember
The Queen of Soul
It's hard times befallen
The sole survivors
She thinks I'm crazy
But I'm just growing old

carmody: I imagine subby's contribution to music are substantially greater.

Jerk.

Just because she has contributed greatly to her art, doesn't excuse the fact that she's a bloated, unhealthy, insufferable diva who should be nowhere near small children or birthday cakes.

viccellini: I can see it now... YOU running half naked and drunk down Memorial Blvd, in fear, at 1:00 AM.

How the f*ck would that be different from every other night?

I love this town.