What if its a demon of stupidity?

Yeah, but my daemon settled a long time ago.

SilentStrider: What if it's a demon of stupidity?

Since mine hasn't figured out how to get out of the Klein bottle yet, I think I can safely presume it is.

Not only do I have several, I've even created a few.


_{/prefers Linux}

What happens if you don't pay your exorcist?

You get re-possessed.

/ba da ching

What if it's a smokin hot demon?

This will come in handy later tonight.

Riche: Not only do I have several, I've even created a few.


/prefers Linux

==================================================================

bsd is very nice. use low resources. but i like linux more too. more apps.

Riche: /prefers Linux

Blasphemy! All hail FreeBSD!

/linux on the desktop
//nothin' but BSD on servers, baby

Ceph: Riche: /prefers Linux

Blasphemy! All hail FreeBSD!

/linux on the desktop
//nothin' but BSD on servers, baby

===============================================================

THIS!

shinjitsuism: What if it's a smokin hot demon?

This demon of yours... I found her to be kind of not smoking hot

The article suffers from being stupid.

Mine seems to be letting faster-than-average molecules through a tiny hole between my kitchen and living room. It's getting hotter in here.

His name is Azazel...he's two inches tall and comes from another dimension.

I fingered my daemon, so I know who its name and location.

"Do you think you're uglier than Jack Nicholson?"

"Oh hell no!"

"Do you know why he's so successful then?"

"Because... he has a demon?"

"Exactly."

But think of the damage if the demon uses its whip!

I've been considering a second career as a freelance demonologist. I can't believe there are still people who doubt the existence of demons/malign ghosts. It's probably because of the, mainly Christian, folklore around it, and most of what is assumed to be demonic activity is actually intentionless poltergeist activity, which is often brought on my young females under stress. It's mainly a semantic issue.

granolasteak: His name is Azazel...he's two inches tall and comes from another dimension.

You stole him from Asimov, and now the big demons are really going to get you.

I don't need demons. I have my own god.

Kali Ma needs blood....

granolasteak, you'd think the fool would eventually stop asking Azazel to "help" with things, but noooo...

/ Nothing is obscure on fark

Items like this make me think maybe we should have a "LOLWUT" tag.

Meh.. Could have been funny. Maybe more deadpan answers with increasingly frantic questions.

I'm a demon.

Use it as a tank.

When I read the headline, I pictured Alyson Hannigan reading it to me, Willow-style....

shinjitsuism: What if it's a smokin hot demon?

She's a man baby.

So I have a demon...what's it to you?

EatYourHeartOut: Mine seems to be letting faster-than-average molecules through a tiny hole between my kitchen and living room. It's getting hotter in here.

Your name wouldn't be "Maxwell", would it?

Suicidal Writer: I can't believe there are still people who doubt the existence of demons/malign ghosts.

They're known as 'the sane'. You wouldn't understand.

I have a Yattering, which isn't allowed to leave the house - but you wait, one day it will follow me outside the threshold and be under my control... Then we'll see what's what.

El Mariaski: "Do you think you're uglier than Jack Nicholson?"

"Oh hell no!"

"Do you know why he's so successful then?"

"Because... he has a demon?"

"Exactly."

Not a verbatim recap, but still - was glad to see this in here.

FarkinNortherner: <b>Suicidal Writer:</b> <i>I can't believe there are still people who doubt the existence of demons/malign ghosts.</i>

They're known as 'the sane'. You wouldn't understand.

Known troll. Don't bother with him.

You know, I always pictured Satan not to be driving a Mercedes... I thought him more of a Labroghini Diablo. Painted a really wretched purple or creamy lime green with orange stripes just to piss guys like me off.

FarkinNortherner: Suicidal Writer: I can't believe there are still people who doubt the existence of demons/malign ghosts.

They're known as 'the sane'. You wouldn't understand.

Seems that the crazies always come out on Fark in droves. Makes you wonder just how many 'normal' people aren't so normal just walking around in a suit or something.

I went in expecting supernatural, probably fundie nonsense. I was pleasantly surprised.

/I also lol'd.

El Mariaski: "Do you think you're uglier than Jack Nicholson?"

"Oh hell no!"

"Do you know why he's so successful then?"

"Because... he has a demon?"

"Exactly."



I have a demon!

Has many demons. (new window)

/my demon is in my pants
//or maybe it was my colon...I tend to forget the small details

If I had a demonic goat in my living room I'd sure as hell be eating demonic goat gyros for dinner the next day, sans the sun dried tomatoes.

I have several demons. One is smoking hot. The rest, not so much.

/level 70 Blood Elf Warlock on a PVP server
//who wants to touch me

Man, slow news night.

Someone Say Daemons?

ActualFarkal, what build ;)

/level 70 Human Warlock
//My Succ touches me

Scifientologist: Has many demons. (new window)

/my demon is in my pants
//or maybe it was my colon...I tend to forget the small details

Classic sketch....one of the few from KITH that I can actually remember

I can has Bob Larson spiritual warfare pic?

███████ containment is fairly straightforward. It will be content in a plain rectangular chamber, so long as chamber is at least 25m x 25m x 10m. Walls, ceiling, and floor are to be reinforced with steel plate at least 14 cm thick, and two heavy machine gun emplacements must be trained on the creature continuously. Any significantly anomalous behavior is to be met with sustained machine gun fire, which is to continue until ███████ is unconscious. The creature will become agitated and begin to damage its container if it is not given at least 60 kg fresh meat daily. It is not affected by dehydration, hypoxia, temperature extremes, electrical current, or any known toxin or biological agent. It can be subdued only by massive cranial trauma or blood loss, and then only temporarily. It is strongly advised that all dealings with ███████ be automated so as to avoid further casualties, which have been considerable to date. Under no circumstances are personnel to enter the container, with the exception of D-level personnel.

Description: ███████ is a large, carnivorous, bipedal animal of indeterminate origin, roughly 4.5 m in height and weighing approximately 600 kg. Its appearance is a hybrid of several mammalian species. The creature has four long, apelike arms, one pair behind the other. All digits have retractable claws some 8cm in length. The legs appear mostly ursine. The creature has a long muscular tail, which is generally used for balance while walking. The head is vaguely feline, with powerful jaws and large, forward-set eyes, although it also sports two pairs of gazelle-like horns. The creature's entire body is covered in sleek black fur, which has exhibited significant flame-retardant properties.

███████ is extremely dangerous due to its great speed, strength, plethora of natural weapons and extraordinary resistance to injury. It will attack every living organism in sight in a seemingly mindless rage. This berserk state, however, is not without strategy; the creature can instantly incorporate any available weapon into its tactics, suggesting either high intelligence or an instinctual understanding of the dynamics of combat and prompting serious questions about its origins. When not engaged in feeding or combat, ███████ will either sit quietly or pace slowly within its container as if waiting for further violent diversion.

The earliest record of ███████'s existence is an incident in which the creature slaughtered and consumed the better part of a small town in [DATA EXPUNGED] over the course of several weeks. The creature was subdued and captured after being shot eight times with an XM500 Barrett .50 caliber rifle. The final shot was the only one observed to have any real effect,impacting the base of the skull and putting the creature into a shallow coma. The creature's unconsciousness lasted longer than the wounds themselves, which healed completely in a matter of minutes. The creature apparently suffered no permanent loss of brain function from this injury.

Current research is focused primarily on duplicating ███████'s abilities, as it is unlikely that we will ever be able to truly control the beast.

paulseta
I have a Yattering, which isn't allowed to leave the house - but you wait, one day it will follow me outside the threshold and be under my control... Then we'll see what's what.


You just broke the first rule of Yattering wrangling. Now it's on to you. (providing it can read, of course.)