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(New Musical Express) Hero Every now and then a story comes along that restores your faith in humanity and gives you hope for the future. In this case, it's Pharrell Williams telling us "I made Madonna cry like a baby"   (nme.com) divider line 110
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Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 07:55:40 AM  
That site looks like it's written for near-sighted fourth graders who read at a kindergardener's level, and Pharrell Williams sounds like the sort of person who'd make one of the site's regular readers look like a regular Einstein. How is this supposed to restore my faith in humanity? That furry-loving judge from yesterday does more along those lines than this guy.

 
OlafTheBent [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:00:37 AM  
Pocket Ninja: That site looks like it's written for near-sighted fourth graders who read at a kindergardener's level, and Pharrell Williams sounds like the sort of person who'd make one of the site's regular readers look like a regular Einstein. How is this supposed to restore my faith in humanity? That furry-loving judge from yesterday does more along those lines than this guy.

Dude... I know it's early... but you sound like you need a hug.

/Barring that, try a double scotch on the rocks. That'll even things out.

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:01:30 AM  
submitter: "I made Madonna cry like a baby"

Did he pee in her butt?

/got nothin

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:12:39 AM  
Feed him to the pigs, Guy.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:17:06 AM  
OlafTheBent: Dude... I know it's early... but you sound like you need a hug.

/Barring that, try a double scotch on the rocks. That'll even things out.


I am feeling quite grouchy, but haven't yet found a satisfying link upon which I might release my venom. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll go stalking around the halls looking for a hug. Or a loose bottle of scotch. Whichever comes first.

 
mr_bunny [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:21:33 AM  
Pocket Ninja: OlafTheBent: Dude... I know it's early... but you sound like you need a hug.

/Barring that, try a double scotch on the rocks. That'll even things out.

I am feeling quite grouchy, but haven't yet found a satisfying link upon which I might release my venom. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll go stalking around the halls looking for a hug. Or a loose bottle of scotch. Whichever comes first.


Listen to you two, talking all this rubbish.

Well, I shall speak rubbish right back, I shall.

 
Tat'dGreaser [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:39:49 AM  
Two Dogs Farking: Did he pee in her butt?

/got nothin


That wouldn't make her cry, she is used to the good stuff.

 
Mike F [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:41:14 AM  
Madonna: (In fake British accent) But this is what I want!!!
Pharrell: No one likes your shiat anymore. Shut up and listen to me. And what he hell is with that fake British accent? You're from Detroit. You're over 50, shut up.
Madonna: Crying.
Pharrell: Nice.

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:44:46 AM  
Pocket Ninja: That site looks like it's written for near-sighted fourth graders who read at a kindergardener's level, and Pharrell Williams sounds like the sort of person who'd make one of the site's regular readers look like a regular Einstein. How is this supposed to restore my faith in humanity? That furry-loving judge from yesterday does more along those lines than this guy.


PREACH IT!

Dude, I know it's early, but it sounds like you need a fist-bump, brother!

 
friendinpa [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 08:53:37 AM  
Pocket Ninja
Maybe I'll go stalking around the halls looking for a hug. Or a loose bottle of scotch. Whichever comes first.

Go to the capitol building, find Teddy's office. You should be able to get both there.

Weekends almost here.

 
animalmagnet 2008-06-12 11:00:59 AM  
A class act all the way around.

 
GameraMan 2008-06-12 11:01:05 AM  
I know it's early, but I'm going to hug a bottle of Scotch and cry to Madonna's music. Because it hurts, you see. Badly.

/just MY opinion

 
gorgor 2008-06-12 11:02:42 AM  
Jesus is gonna be pissed.

 
fatal_exception 2008-06-12 11:04:31 AM  
Blatant misuse of the Hero tag subby. That's a ten greenlight penalty and a "bad kitty" for you.

 
p the boiler 2008-06-12 11:04:53 AM  
Did he show her this picture?
www.music-videos.duncans.tv

It made me cry

/why god, why is she wearing that? I can smell the cod through my monitor

 
stingrza [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:05:46 AM  
Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

 
mrapier [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:06:22 AM  
Fer christ's sakes she was just menopausal and he told her that she wasn't connecting with today's youth and then she cried and he apologized and then they made up. Now it sounds as if there was more to it but I was there and this was really not a huge fight.

/doo doo do

 
sirrerun 2008-06-12 11:06:59 AM  
"Rubbish?"

Apparently Madonna drove Pharrell to do that fake British accent affectation, so they're even.

 
Massa Damnata 2008-06-12 11:08:04 AM  
That article used a lot of big words.

No really, what size font was that?

 
carmody 2008-06-12 11:08:40 AM  
Being mean to the elderly doesn't make one a "hero."

 
Crewmannumber6 2008-06-12 11:08:56 AM  
Wow. I could actually feel my IQ level drop while reading that. Gonna have to take another run at Ulysses.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:09:12 AM  
stingrza: Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

Um sorry, WTF is he?

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:10:14 AM  
Massa Damnata: That article used a lot of big words.

No really, what size font was that?


It's the special font for astronauts. They can see Madge is PMSing pretty hard.

 
someonelse 2008-06-12 11:10:24 AM  
Aww, this is cute. A middle schooler made a Wiki entry:

"Pharrell has a unique style which is admired by many. He has a range of many different looks yet he still manages to look amazing in all.He doesnt dress like everyone else but wears what he feels like wearing at that present moment in time regardless of what everyone else says 'is in'. He is a style icon in his own right even if he himself isn't ready to admit it. He rocks hoodies,his traid mark trucker hat and dunks yet he can also pull of tailored suits along with shirts and sweater vests."

 
Cervantes3773 2008-06-12 11:11:17 AM  
Pocket Ninja: OlafTheBent: Dude... I know it's early... but you sound like you need a hug.

/Barring that, try a double scotch on the rocks. That'll even things out.

I am feeling quite grouchy, but haven't yet found a satisfying link upon which I might release my venom. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll go stalking around the halls looking for a hug. Or a loose bottle of scotch. Whichever comes first.


Just hug a bottle of scotch; two birds with one stone and you won't feel any pain if you do it right.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:11:41 AM  
someonelse: Aww, this is cute. A middle schooler made a Wiki entry:

"Pharrell has a unique style which is admired by many. He has a range of many different looks yet he still manages to look amazing in all.He doesnt dress like everyone else but wears what he feels like wearing at that present moment in time regardless of what everyone else says 'is in'. He is a style icon in his own right even if he himself isn't ready to admit it. He rocks hoodies,his traid mark trucker hat and dunks yet he can also pull of tailored suits along with shirts and sweater vests."


In other news, fans of his music can read and write.

/Kidding

 
skabbo 2008-06-12 11:12:20 AM  
Two Dogs Farking: submitter: "I made Madonna cry like a baby"

Did he pee in her butt?

/got nothin


Is that how you make babies cry?

 
someonelse 2008-06-12 11:12:42 AM  
stingrza: Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

Does it count if I'm not a snob, just a cranky white chick who doesn't give a crap who he is?

 
Charlie Freak [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:13:51 AM  
Viral marketing at its finest; this will increase sales.

/I hadn't heard about the album until this article
//srsly

 
HAMMERTOE [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:14:03 AM  
p the boiler: Did he show her this picture?

No, just surprised her with a mirror.

 
someonelse 2008-06-12 11:14:28 AM  
I have more in common with Mr Williams than I realized. I also wear whatever I feel like wearing at the present moment in time.

 
IAAl 2008-06-12 11:15:11 AM  
I was thinking about crying just trying to figure out what anyone involved was talking about. But then I realized that I didn't really care.

/Subby, there is no "Zero" tag, what you accidentally selected was the "Hero" tag. Huge difference.

 
HarryDeanStanton 2008-06-12 11:15:55 AM  
Yes this story must be true. We all know black guys from Virginia Beach use crazy slang like "rubbish" Especially when he's dissin a ho.

 
HotWingConspiracy [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:16:01 AM  
So uh...what did he say?

 
fireclown 2008-06-12 11:16:28 AM  
stingrza: Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

I'm not a music snob, but I'm pretty far out of the loop owing to being an old fart. So I ask you :WHO IS PHARREL WILLIAMS? Is he related to Will Pharrel, and if so, how? And what the hell is a "dunk"?

 
skabbo 2008-06-12 11:17:14 AM  
HotWingConspiracy: So uh...what did he say?

TAIUWW

(This Article is Useless Without Words)

A really huge font, just to say nothing.

 
p the boiler 2008-06-12 11:19:13 AM  
HotWingConspiracy: So uh...what did he say?

I think it went like this:

Take it off now girl, take it off
(I'm a master, baby wit'cha bra)
Take it off now girl, take it off
(I can help you slide those panties off)
Take it off now girl, take it off
(Damn, that bootie's so soft)
Take it off now girl, take it off
(It feels so good in my palms)
Dim the lights down baby, dim the lights
We gon' double your heart great form lady, just dim the lights
(...I'm a beat the pussy like you never ever felt before)
Dim the lights down baby, just dim the lights
We gon' double your heart great form lady, just dim the lights
(...I'm a beat the pussy like you never ever felt before)

 
fatal_exception 2008-06-12 11:19:41 AM  
traid mark trucker hat and dunks

what?

 
p the boiler 2008-06-12 11:20:25 AM  
fatal_exception: traid mark trucker hat and dunks

what?


You crackers are funny

 
HarryDeanStanton 2008-06-12 11:20:49 AM  
fireclown: stingrza: Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

I'm not a music snob, but I'm pretty far out of the loop owing to being an old fart. So I ask you :WHO IS PHARREL WILLIAMS? Is he related to Will Pharrel, and if so, how? And what the hell is a "dunk"?


A dunk is what the youngsters call a "shoe" or "sneaker"

 
Mishno 2008-06-12 11:24:51 AM  
carmody: Being mean to the elderly doesn't make one a "hero."

Now you've made me cry. Madonna and I were born on the same day.

/I don't think I'm "elderly"...

 
ganzygrl 2008-06-12 11:25:00 AM  
fireclown: stingrza: Let's take bets on how many posts it takes for the first self-important music snob to show up and post, "Who is Pharrell Williams?"

I'm not a music snob, but I'm pretty far out of the loop owing to being an old fart. So I ask you :WHO IS PHARREL WILLIAMS? Is he related to Will Pharrel, and if so, how? And what the hell is a "dunk"?


THIS.

/not a music snob
//am self-important. If I'm not important to myself, who am I important to?
///no one. OK, fine. Wahhh
///Where's that Scotch?

 
DgtlCalm 2008-06-12 11:25:43 AM  
I cant say i like all his stuff but N.E.R.D has put a couple good songs over the years. Making madonna cry...heh not really a hero thing, now making her stop making music thats a hero tag.

 
ProEugenics 2008-06-12 11:26:16 AM  
gorgor: Jesus is gonna be pissed.

I bet he cries

 
Rapmaster2000 2008-06-12 11:28:40 AM  
I recently read some babble from Madonna about how she's still trying to "find herself." "Finding yourself" is for upper-middle class college girls and it usally involves getting drunk in Europe for the summer. When a 50 year-old woman says it, it's just pathetic.

 
HotWingConspiracy [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:28:40 AM  
p the boiler: We gon' double your heart great form lady, just dim the lights
(...I'm a beat the pussy like you never ever felt before)
Dim the lights down baby, just dim the lights
We gon' double your heart great form lady, just dim the lights
(...I'm a beat the pussy like you never ever felt before)


You can probably work her labia like a speed bag at this point.

 
yetti 2008-06-12 11:30:41 AM  
HarryDeanStanton: A dunk is what the youngsters call a "shoe" or "sneaker"

Sort of. Dunks are a model of shoe that Nike first made in the 80's and are still popular with the hipsters that use the urban style plugin.

Link (new window)

 
JpWillCommentNow 2008-06-12 11:31:33 AM  
Eh, I'm almost sure she deserved it. Pharrell is a joke at anything but beat-making, though.

 
bkennedy 2008-06-12 11:32:23 AM  
Having met Pharrel several times in times past, he's a relatively nice guy. He'll shake your hand and talk with you about the music industry, even if you're some 18 year old asshole serving him popcorn at a movie theatre. Madonna must be a real coont to get him talking shiat.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2008-06-12 11:32:27 AM  
HERO tag maybe.

 
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