In retaliation, Geoffrey declares all Jews to be twigs and leaves.

Giraffe season! Jew season!

Don't touch pork, not even with a fork!

Can't touch this!

The team, led by Professor Zohar Amar, took a routine sample of milk and found that it clotted in the way required by Jewish law for kosher certification.

LOL. Those wacky Joooos! Every bit as mad as Mormonism or Scientology.

Mmm, the tasty, tasty giraffe.

I find kosher dietary rules fascinating, and kosher food delicious.

/friends with lots of Jews. Look forward to being invited for holiday dinners.

I assume you have to cut off and discard the top 1/8 of the neck before you can eat the rest...

It tastes like chicken.

A giraffe walks into a bar and announces high balls are on me!

But...but...giraffes are evil!

'I will eat all the leaves off this tree and soon there will be no more leaves...and all the other giraffes will die. Ahahaha!'

/s'true if Izzogman says it so.

Excellent timing.

Speaking as an Orthodox Jew, this is not news. We've always known that Giraffe is 100% Kosher.

The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

I'm glad that's cleared up. It's a great comfort to know it that giraffe meat conforms to some arbitrary superstitious criteria.

Polyphonic: The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

That's just silly.

Polyphonic
Speaking as an Orthodox Jew, this is not news. We've always known that Giraffe is 100% Kosher.

The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

It frightens me that you people have the Bomb.

Good news: Giraffe is officially kosher.

Bad news: no one can find a 10-foot tall shochet.

What did the Rabbids say?

Aww, bunnies. Which is what I'm going to focus on, because I really do not want to know why people are eating giraffes and/or considering eating giraffes. Much less why Jews are, since I do not remember...oh, maybe Ethiopians.

/rtfa
/still not clear why people are considering eating giraffes

marcand: What did the Rabbids say?

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Cutting the correct place on the animal's neck in kosher laws is designed for the swiftest, least painful death. It's not just whimsy; it's supposed to prevent unnecessary cruelty towards animals.

lymerae: Cutting the correct place on the animal's neck in kosher laws is designed for the swiftest, least painful death. It's not just whimsy; it's supposed to prevent unnecessary cruelty towards animals.

Yeah, from the days before pneumatic hammers.
I'd say it's time to upgrade your abattoirs.

/Rotating knives, yes.

Goth Molly made me seriously laugh out loud. Thanks

'Kosher/halal' is a relic of an ancestral totem. Obviously, Abraham didn't sleep with a giraffe & begat Jews and/or Moslems. But many African tribes won't eat giraffes, hippos, or some other species of animals because their religion says they descended from this animal.

Many Europeans feel the same way about horses. When I say I eat horsemeat whenever I can get it, and like it, they a) faint b) tell me about the deep spiritual connection between their European ancestors and horses.

luigibrasile: Mmmmmmm!

I guess this explains all the Ultima games where the Giant Ants drop mutton.

The zoo is my buffet.

AlphaNumericus: Many Europeans feel the same way about horses. When I say I eat horsemeat whenever I can get it, and like it, they a) faint b) tell me about the deep spiritual connection between their European ancestors and horses.

Not true, horse meat is big in France and Germany. I've met quite a number of europeans who complain they can't get any decent horse meat in the markets here in North America. I won't eat it myself because I tried it once and hated it.

As for the halal/kosher dietary rules, I find them to be arcane and mostly pointless. But you can't stop people from believing in susperstition/tradition/religion any more than you can stop the sky from being blue.

Ikahoshi: AlphaNumericus: Many Europeans feel the same way about horses. When I say I eat horsemeat whenever I can get it, and like it, they a) faint b) tell me about the deep spiritual connection between their European ancestors and horses.

Not true, horse meat is big in France and Germany. I've met quite a number of europeans who complain they can't get any decent horse meat in the markets here in North America. I won't eat it myself because I tried it once and hated it.

As for the halal/kosher dietary rules, I find them to be arcane and mostly pointless. But you can't stop people from believing in susperstition/tradition/religion any more than you can stop the sky from being blue.

Oh we can stop the sky from being blue.. It's just not advisable. I guess thes same way it wouldn't be a good idea to force people to stop believing in religion.

Ikahoshi: Not true, horse meat is big in France and Germany.

The French will eat anything. Even rodent pate. Seriously.

/just had dolphin in Tobago last week - yum!

Polyphonic The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

I suppose it's just the front quarters, too.

/likes me the tenderloins
//mmm, tenderloins...

Are there just random jews going around testing animals to see if they're kosher or something?

Am I the only one who wasn't even aware that people were eating giraffes?

Save the neck for soup.

This was redlighted a day ago with a dozen different better headlines.

/bittergrumble

Gash: LOL. Those wacky Joooos! Every bit as mad as Mormonism or Scientology.

Hey! You were on a roll! Why stop there?

Ikahoshi: As for the halal/kosher dietary rules, I find them to be arcane and mostly pointless. But you can't stop people from believing in susperstition/tradition/religion any more than you can stop the sky from being blue.

I have read the entire Bible, and it does NOT say that Abraham porked a giraffe, QED.

Cormee: The French will eat anything. Even rodent pate. Seriously.

J'adore frogs and snails.

Cormee: The French will eat anything. Even rodent pate. Seriously.

Not for long. Give it another decade or so, and everything there will have to be halal....

0Icky0: Polyphonic: The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

That's just silly.

It's about cruelty. You have to kill the animal in the way that would produce the least pain (of course using technology available when the rules were created). Others at the time were allowed to eat animals that were slaughtered cruelly. It's actually a remnant of a past "progressive" movement.

But are peregrine falcons kosher?

Don't want to eat one. Just want to see them catch one.

birds of prey are not kosher, along with ostrich. There is an actual list of birds that are kosher in the Torah, I believe. Or what is not kosher I should say.

DELICIOUS GIRAFFE OM NOM NOM NOM.

It's not like Jews are actually interested in eating giraffes. It's that Jews are interested in finding all the weird ramifications of the rules.

Just like you can use an elephant as one of the walls of a Sukkah. Yes, the Rabbis debated it. Doesn't mean any of them had an actual elephant.

alex10294: 0Icky0: Polyphonic: The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

That's just silly.

It's about cruelty. You have to kill the animal in the way that would produce the least pain (of course using technology available when the rules were created). Others at the time were allowed to eat animals that were slaughtered cruelly. It's actually a remnant of a past "progressive" movement.

As opposed to being a dumb explanation to justify a superstition.

/Jehovah Witnesses refuse blood because some of it might be tainted. Yeah, that'll work!

A Short Digression on the Pig, or Why Heaven Hates Ham (new window)

I don't want to eat any giraffe meat, but I really want some giraffe milk cheese!! Maybe spread on a Ritz with nice glass of red. Yep, Giraffe milk cheese...gotta have some.

Riffington: Just like you can use an elephant as one of the walls of a Sukkah. Yes, the Rabbis debated it. Doesn't mean any of them had an actual elephant.

Good to know, in case I need a sukkah and have an elephant handy.

Polyphonic: Speaking as an Orthodox Jew, this is not news. We've always known that Giraffe is 100% Kosher.

The only problem is finding exactly where on the neck it can be cut, because killing it incorrectly will make it Treif (not Kosher).

How YOU doin?Riffington: Just like you can use an elephant as one of the walls of a Sukkah. Yes, the Rabbis debated it. Doesn't mean any of them had an actual elephant.

What? That's bullshiat.

Oh and another thing, HAPPY SHAVOUT!

Enjoy the cheesecake everybody!


/why hasnt anyone summoned meeeee?

Alright! Time to ditch this emu farm and set up a giraffe ranch! Gotta be on the cutting edge of the next food fad that nobody will ever eat.

Drongo3: Giraffe season! Jew season!

Made me giggle

EsteeFlwrPot: Oh and another thing, HAPPY SHAVOUT!

Enjoy the cheesecake everybody!


/why hasnt anyone summoned meeeee?

What is this cheesecake reference everyone is talking about? I guess it is what I get for not reading Fark for a day or two.