INVISIBLE STRIP POKER

"It's 'LEMONparty', Lymon. 'LEMONparty'. Sorry about that."

I have a broken arm and I'm still better off than these weird losers.

I don't care that you got the underware, and I don't care that Frankie here says he's been to Japan and swears he can judge this right... you just can't walk up to somebody and declare a Sumo match.

"Georgie! Georgie Hamilton! It's been forever! How ya doin'?"

"Who the fark are you?"

"While we wait for the Viagra to kick in what do you say we lost these clothes and let me show you a trick I can do with your cigar."

"So if you'll just hand over that bottle of tanning oil... I'm tellin' ya, I'll give you a great rubdown. I'm the best."

lost=lose

dangit

"These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on 'em"

"Oh yeah? You see my hands? They are blocking my speedo wearing ass from talking. You should do the same because right now your ass is doing all of the talking"

Look, I never said George Hamilton wasn't a fine actor. I'm just not crazy about the skin cancer is all.

"Pardon me. Do you happen to have any eyebleach?"

"But of course! I keep it right back here."

"Dad, uncross your arms from behind your back....."

**SIGH**


"How many times I gotta tell you, pop, if you wanna pick up chicks, the potato goes in FRONT!!!!"

"now hold still.... this was hilarious when SteveO did it on jackass.

Excuse me, but how do you keep you balls from hanging down at our age?

"......and then the poor bastard's nuts got caught, right in the wooden chair's slats! I'd keep an eye on the elastic in your Speedo if you plan on sitting down anytime soon."

Jesus, look at you. It's like I'm looking at a negative of myself!

Sir! You are taking Doc Savage The Man Of Bronze far too literally.

Don Vito, I didn't mean cannelloni. I meant to say cannoli. You've got a cannoli. The size of a pannetone.

"Look buddy, I can appreciate that you were the Mediterranean wrestling champion in 1954, but if you don't put out that cigar and put on some loose-fitting shorts, i'm gonna have to do to you like i did your friend back there."

"I'm just saying - at our age, you can't really call it a 'banana hammock' It's more of a.....sleeping bag."

Look! It's a firing squad. You were supposed to bring the guns! Do you realize how much it's costing me to keep these guys sitting around in lawn chairs while you go get the rifles?

Go ahead, take the pen - it can write upside down and astronauts use it in space

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy bore their friends at the retirement home with yet another telling of the story of the day they defeated Man Ray.

"Why, I oughta..."



"What? Put some clothes on?"

"One more step and I'll give you the biggest wedgie of your sad life, mo'farker."

Holy crap, its Brock Sampson.

"Meh, your manboobs don't look all that perky to me."

"If you weren't 200 years old I'd kick your wrinkled ass!"

/obscure?

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that I didn't realize 'Oops, I Crapped My Pants' now came in a Speedo."

Look - C'mon, we don't hafta get angry here ... A-a-I say your shoes are 'shopped and you claim to be on the side of the case of the opposite of that that opinon, so, so ... let's say we'll leave it at that. Eh? Buddy? C'mon, don't be sore ...

Man in background: "Why do I find this so arousing? Maybe that tranny was right and I really am gay..."

Shorts guy: "Tastes great!"

Speedo guy: "Less Filling!"

Shorts guy: "Obviously..."

Ya smart guy? Just where exactly are you gonna tie your onion? Me at least I got some belt hoops and Lou over there's gotta damn good belt. You know how much he paid for that belt? I'll tell ya .. you know Saully's on Fourth? Ya well he goes down there on a Tuesday - a Tuesday! - would you believe it? ... Anyway, he goes down there on a Tuesday ...

Well blow me down, they finally started making Depends in black!

bring it up, biatch!

right guy: "Hey, mr., you gotta wear shoes. You can't have bare feet on this kind of hot day, when you're standing and walking on the hot concrete."

left guy: "I don't goddamn bloody have to if i don't wanna.... and where am i gonna get Bear feet from? huh?"

[confused silence]

right guy: "Listen, mr. pasty mcwhitey-son. this is our hang out, our rules. no shoes, no hang out for you."

left guy: "oh go suck an egg".

Whenever Harvey and Dick started arguing, it got Ben [wall guy] sexually aroused, and he descreetly started fondling his anus.

"You're 60 years past the age when you should wear your hat backwards."

(Guy in the middle:) "Aaaaaaand... FIGHT!"

Then Oscar boldy exclaims, "Look it here,'George Hamilton'. Felix and I can kick you and your boyfriend's a$$ anyday."

Felix patiently waited for Oscar's signal to cap the boyfriend.

"I don't what you are, you can't marry a snapping turtle, asshole!".

What!? You want I should shuffle-board AND look at your speedo?

"Keep your kids off my lawn"

"Obama!"
"Clinton!"
"OBAMA!!"
"CLINTON!!"
"OBAMA!!!"
"CLINTON!!!""
"Okay, you win... I look worse than Clinton in a Speedo!"

"I'm way more wrinkly than you!"
"Hell no, I've got wrinkles coming out the wazoo!"
"That's it -- only one way to decide this. Strip to your shorts!"

'Hey Kenny Rogers, Don't ya think you're taking the whole roasting thing a bit too far..?'

Is that Peter Faulk on the right? I heard he's senile now, so sad.

"I'm sorry, man. But the way you are suckin that cigar, I figured you'd suck anything!"