recent escapee from mom's basement.

Remind me again, what's Neil Cavuto's are of expertise?

Oh...right.

Whose that?

/yay Obama! I love you!

You know how each holiday season I give my shopping tips for men?

It's a huge hit. Men tell me so! And women too!

Yeah, I'd want to hit this guy too.

When did Jean Teasdale start writing for Fox?

/nothing. i gots it.

please lord let mccain follow his advice

Once again a Republican who has been wrong on pretty much everything for the past 7 years thinks we want or need his advice. Oh well, at least he's got a lapel pin.

If only I had all the pundits in the world.

/in a gas chamber, that is.

depmode98: please lord let mccain follow his advice

Oh god yes. That's like a map to Losertown. Also reads like it was written by an intern.

FTFA: "Neither was bill gates in school. And he did ok."

I know about all the rampant hate for Microsoft and Vista, but seriously, did Bill Gates do something to warrant his demotion from proper noun status?

Apparently this article was written in Open Office (MS Word probably knows to capitalize Gates' name automatically) and then copy and pasted since the use of the Shift key seems to be hit or miss.

/Not really a grammar-douche, but come on. Names are pretty easy to capitalize.
//I'll just pretend that he can't spell okay, and let that one go.

...who...?

submitter Neil Cavuto offers *FREE* campaign advice to Obama and McCain, who totally give a crap what he thinks. Bonus: He begins by reminding us how awesome he is

Did he frame his advice in the form of a question? Like, McCain: focus on war experience against the draft dodging Muslim? And, Obama, youth a key to victory against the AARP vote?

Grabbed this image several years ago.

The Why Not Guy: Once again a Republican who has been wrong on pretty much everything for the past 7 years thinks we want or need his advice. Oh well, at least he's got a lapel pin.

lol, I noticed that too.

Where was the part where he gave advice to Obama, as stated in the beginning of the article?

Guess you don't do that, if you know what Barack is cooking...

Advice to McCain: Embrace your 'oldness.' That's a hell of a strategy, Neil.

/I'm bleeding, making me the victor!

FTA:

Tip three: Don't hide your temper. Show it. Apparently, when you explode, it's a beaut. I think it shows your passion. And people respect passion.

Yeah, 'cause that worked so well for Howard Dean. People really want a hot-head when it comes to being in charge of diplomatic matters. Putin Medvedev really loves it when he's told to stick Russia's nukes up his ass.

Do you think that causing the death and/or serious bodily harm of Neil Cavuto would be a felony, or only a misdemeanor? And would you get any kind of prison time, or only community service? After all, he does work for FOX News, so it can't be too heinous an offense?

And he frames everything in the form of a question? Like a 14-year-old girl?

Neil Cavuto was that douchebag who set in the back of the lecture hall and raised his hand just to make an asinine comment and argue every single farking thing the professor said, even if he didn't believe half the shiat he said.

I know, I have absolutely no proof of that, but look at him.

Bladel: Remind me again, what's Neil Cavuto's are of expertise?

Oh...right.

Concern trolling?

The Grim Creeper: Dr.Zom: depmode98: please lord let mccain follow his advice

Oh god yes. That's like a map to Losertown. Also reads like it was written by an intern.

Please don't paint us interns with the brush of awfulness that created this... thing.

Stop farking them!!!

The Beacon Man: My advice for McCain? If I were him, I would...

Use the DEBATES to challenge Barack Hussein Obama on subjects such as taxes, abortion, personal experience, the national border, the military, affirmative action/quotas, missile defense, appeasement, patriotism/US flag, political correctness, forced 'social justice', regulation, government intrusion, domestic drilling/coal/nuclear power, church and state, government schools, government medicine, welfare, Israel, islam, the 2nd Amendment, freedom/individual responsibility, the entire concept of private property, prayer, government vs. small business, soical engineering, nanny state, the Boy Scouts, etc.

I would definitely joke about the fact that I'm no 'pretty boy'.

Most of all, I would separate myself from the liberal (Obambi) by declaring that America is the greatest nation in the history of mankind because of the way it is right now - not the way it 'could be' if remade by modern leftists.

Yeah, that'll work. Obama, what do you think about...PANCAKES!!!

Sabyen91: Bladel: Remind me again, what's Neil Cavuto's are of expertise?

Oh...right.

Concern trolling?

Ah, the professional troll findsd another thread to infect. Bravo.

3_Butt_Cheeks: Sabyen91: Bladel: Remind me again, what's Neil Cavuto's are of expertise?

Oh...right.

Concern trolling?

Ah, the professional troll findsd another thread to infect. Bravo.

Oh, 3 butt cheeks...just look at your name. Honestly...

FTFA: And fair and balanced, I am giving my campaign tips, free of charge, to both Barack Obama and John McCain.

Senator McCain, I want to start with you, because of all the attention your opponent's been getting.

____ doesn't seem fair and balanced to me.
Wouldn't it be more fair and balanced if he flipped a coin and had one of them call it in the air?

EsteeFlwrPot: Whose that?

/yay Obama! I love you!

Why, it appears to be my "that."

Thanks for returning it.

Sabyen91: Concern trolling?

There's a lot of this going around lately.

Frankly, it's starting to worry me.

common sense isn't so common after all

The Beacon Man: Gyrfalcon: Do you think that causing the death and/or serious bodily harm of Neil Cavuto would be a felony? After all, he does work for FOX News.


Would it be better if he worked for MSNBC?

No, it would be better if he wasn't Neil Cavuto.

The Beacon Man: Most of all, I would separate myself from the liberal (Obambi) by declaring that America is the greatest nation in the history of mankind because of the way it is right now - not the way it 'could be' if remade by modern leftists.

Obama would simply respond that America needs fixing, because for the past 8 years it has been broken apart, its people separated and divided like never before. America is arguably the greatest nation ever, but the way it is now is far away from running away with the title; if anything, the Republicans under Bush have taken America farther away from that.

Bladel: Sabyen91: Concern trolling?

There's a lot of this going around lately.

Frankly, it's starting to worry me.

Heh, it is a concerning trend.

Bladel: Sabyen91: Concern trolling?

There's a lot of this going around lately.

Frankly, it's starting to worry me.

You know, I like Fark and all, but lately it seems as though the comments have been fixated on people who voice insincere "concerns" about the candidates in a subtle attempt to manipulate the opinions of undecided voters who post or lurk. If it weren't for them, you know I'd be posting here all the time, but frankly, their behavior worries me. I just can't in good conscience participate unless Fark addresses this concern.

neil cavuto is the one that kinda looks like a chubby stephen colbert right?

never seen the show. probably never will.

Forty-Two: Bladel: Sabyen91: Concern trolling?

There's a lot of this going around lately.

Frankly, it's starting to worry me.

You know, I like Fark and all, but lately it seems as though the comments have been fixated on people who voice insincere "concerns" about the candidates in a subtle attempt to manipulate the opinions of undecided voters who post or lurk. If it weren't for them, you know I'd be posting here all the time, but frankly, their behavior worries me. I just can't in good conscience participate unless Fark addresses this concern.

I agree. I've always been an avid supporter of Fark, and even signed up for TotalFark. But with these recent developments and revelations, I just don't know if I can contimue to support a site that would continue to raise such concerns.

I'm concerned that Obama could be gay. Someone who saw someone telling someone how they saw the video told me. It's true.

Also, I'm slightly concerned about McCain making up his POW incident. I know, I was there. I was there when someone told me he did.

But those are totally legit concerns I think. I'm not against either one, I'm just saying.

Tip Six: Use the word "gook" as frequently as possible. Middle America will respect you for your convictions. Who knows? Maybe it'll help you pick up Hillary's constituents in Appalachia.

Tip Seven: Poop your pants a little. Nothing says "experience" more than the bulge of Depends Adult Undergarments. In debates, if it looks like Barack is building up a head of steam, drop a load. I guarantee you it'll throw him.

Neil Cavuto has butt cheeks for a face.

The_OcO: Neil Cavuto has butt cheeks for a face.

No no no. You've got to phrase it as an open-ended, somewhat rhetorical question:

"Does Neil Cavuto have a human ass grafted to his face?"

You know, I've watched Cavuto's show a few times and came to the realization that in spite of its name, his world isn't mine.

I'd be embarrassed if my world consisted of what he thinks is important.

Every time I see this guy, I get an overwhelming urge to kick him in his throat. And that's before he utters a single word.

I recently went into a newly-constructed McDonald's in my neighborhood, only to discover that they keep a couple of giant flat-screen TVs tuned to Fox News with the volume cranked waaaaay up. Neil Poopchute-o was rambling on and on about transsexual teenagers the whole time I was trying to enjoy my McNuggets. I ain't goin' back.

"Tip four: In the debates, shake your head. Don't say anything. Just shake your head. I'm telling you, senator, younger guys get nervous when older guys shake their heads at them. My dad did it all the time. Stopped me cold."

Because he usually did that before he beat you.

JPJ007: Forty-Two: Bladel: Sabyen91: Concern trolling?

There's a lot of this going around lately.

Frankly, it's starting to worry me.

You know, I like Fark and all, but lately it seems as though the comments have been fixated on people who voice insincere "concerns" about the candidates in a subtle attempt to manipulate the opinions of undecided voters who post or lurk. If it weren't for them, you know I'd be posting here all the time, but frankly, their behavior worries me. I just can't in good conscience participate unless Fark addresses this concern.

I agree. I've always been an avid supporter of Fark, and even signed up for TotalFark. But with these recent developments and revelations, I just don't know if I can contimue to support a site that would continue to raise such concerns.

I know; it's almost as bad as when they changed the look of the site way back when. I ate nothing but freaking cheesecake for weeks just to get over how depressed I was.

/stupid Drew world

Cavuto's voice always sounds like he jut got kicked in the balls but he's trying to hide it.

The Beacon Man: My advice for McCain? If I were him, I would...

Most of all, I would separate myself from the liberal (Obambi) by declaring that America is the greatest nation in the history of mankind because of the way it is right now - not the way it 'could be' if remade by modern leftists.

Really? That fact that we've invaded 2 countries over a lie and murdered thousands of our own soldiers for profit, while outsourcing jobs and are in more debt than we've ever been in the history of our nation, right now, makes us the greatest nation ever?

...fark outta here with that bullshiat

Bladel: Remind me again, what's Neil Cavuto's are of expertise?

Oh...right.

his are of expertise? you are the first winner.

Neil Cavuto is a fag. He likes it up the butt.

Fart_Machine: You know how each holiday season I give my shopping tips for men?

It's a huge hit. Men tell me so! And women too!

Yeah, I'd want to hit this guy too.

I wouldn't hit it. He's got a fat baby-face and the build to match, though to look at his lips, he probably sucks better than a hoover.

Flying Lasagna Monster: Neil Cavuto is a fag. He likes it up the butt.

Wait, wait, I think I can fix this one:

"Does Neil Cavuto like it up the butt?"