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(Guardian.com) Spiffy At 112 years old, Europe's oldest man attributes his longevity to 'cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women'   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 78
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433 [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 11:28:12 AM  
They'll drive you crazy they'll drive you insaaaaaane

 
ah3133 2008-06-01 02:55:41 PM  
At 112 years old, Europe's oldest man ah3133 attributes his longevity to 'cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women'

That's what I'm talkin' about

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 02:56:09 PM  
I salute you, old drunken, womanizing bastard.

 
SR_NightBane 2008-06-01 02:57:42 PM  
What, "Hero" tag on vacation, subby?

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-06-01 02:58:25 PM  
They're always smokers.i300.photobucket.com
Never fat though.

 
Lampmonster [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 02:59:26 PM  
I attribute my missing year to the same. What do you mean I lived in Florida in my twenties?

 
Pribar [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:00:09 PM  
the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

 
Coriantumr 2008-06-01 03:00:54 PM  
He retired in 1960. Holy crap.

 
Ashtrey 2008-06-01 03:01:11 PM  
Meh, I know my lifestyle and my family medical history. I figure if I see 60 I'm ahead of the game.

/Grandfather died at 43 of heart attack.
//Loves steak

 
mgyqmb 2008-06-01 03:02:03 PM  
How many of these stories come out where they attribute their longevity to a life of diet, exercise and quiet meditation?

Jack LaLanne doesn't count

 
PinguinButtKicks 2008-06-01 03:02:12 PM  
Does Mari J count? It makes you sleepy and old peaple are always sleepy and take naps all the time...

/Just say NO!!!

 
CZMisfitsFan 2008-06-01 03:02:42 PM  
www.namm.org
Approves.

 
Rozinante 2008-06-01 03:04:32 PM  
When 112 years old you reach, have as much poon as me you will not.

 
Bengela 2008-06-01 03:08:32 PM  
Pribar: the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

Ugh. That is an overused cliche.

 
daneurysm 2008-06-01 03:09:05 PM  
mgyqmb: How many of these stories come out where they attribute their longevity to a life of diet, exercise and quiet meditation?

Jack LaLanne doesn't count


It wouldn't make an awesome story and they aren't Europe's oldest man.

 
freelancer.42 2008-06-01 03:10:57 PM  
The only other way I know to live that long other than preserving your body with alcohol and tobacco is to be a supreme court justice. Those guys live forever...

 
Oznog 2008-06-01 03:13:50 PM  
nohayrosasinespina.bitacoras.com

There can be only one!

/hey, dude, where's your sword?

 
SR_NightBane 2008-06-01 03:14:48 PM  
Bengela: Pribar: the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

Ugh. That is an overused cliche.


It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?

 
Ringtailed79 2008-06-01 03:16:59 PM  
He eats wild women? Are they feral?

 
utter_bastard 2008-06-01 03:17:52 PM  
I still get weirded out by the fact that Lemmy is two years younger than my dad.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:17:58 PM  
i231.photobucket.com indeed

 
deltabourne 2008-06-01 03:18:56 PM  
SR_NightBane: Bengela: Pribar: the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

Ugh. That is an overused cliche.

It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?


I too only live in the realm of extremes

/Ironic that you are probably closer to the former than the latter, however

 
UrinalPooper 2008-06-01 03:19:28 PM  
Bengela: Pribar: the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

Ugh. That is an overused cliche.


The Redundancy Department of Redundancy frowns upon your shenanigans.

/also thinks is should be a [HERO] tag.

 
Je5tEr 2008-06-01 03:20:00 PM  
utter_bastard: I still get weirded out by the fact that Lemmy is two years younger than my dad.

Your dad's older than god?

 
SR_NightBane 2008-06-01 03:21:57 PM  
deltabourne: SR_NightBane: Bengela: Pribar: the purpose of life is not to arrive at the grave quietly in a well preserved and intact body. But rather to arrive sliding in sideways, all worn out and yelling, Man, what a ride!

Ugh. That is an overused cliche.

It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?

I too only live in the realm of extremes

/Ironic that you are probably closer to the former than the latter, however


I'ld argue the latter point i I didn't have to be in the gym in 26 minutes...

/Drum roll, please...

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:22:59 PM  
i231.photobucket.com
Needs new blood to make that age.

 
masterskip 2008-06-01 03:28:06 PM  
SR_NightBane

It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?

120, plz.

/likes broccoli, screw Blockbuster, tho.

 
LawrencePerson 2008-06-01 03:29:00 PM  

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:31:17 PM  
SR_NightBane It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?


I'll take the latter, thank you.

Hell, there are people who are surprised to find out I'm still alive as it is.

 
LavenderWolf 2008-06-01 03:32:07 PM  
Living the life you want is... good?

/unpossible!

 
SR_NightBane 2008-06-01 03:32:49 PM  
Welcome to the Machine: SR_NightBane It may be, but it is also true, seriously. Would you rather live to be 120 eating nothing but broccoli and having the most exciting thing you ever do be taking a movie out at blockbuster once a week, or would you rather eat steak, drink Talisker, have sex with exotic babes and just generally live it up till your heart gives out at 60?


I'll take the latter, thank you.

Hell, there are people who are surprised to find out I'm still alive as it is.



My best friend's wife hates me, I'm responsible for most of his scar tissue...

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:35:43 PM  
SR_NightBane:
My best friend's wife hates me, I'm responsible for most of his scar tissue...


Yep, I'm kinda the bad influence too.
Wouldn't have it any other way.

"Life is not short. It is the longest thing you will ever do."
(my overused saying)

 
NittLion78 2008-06-01 03:37:33 PM  
img148.imageshack.us

 
theoneontheleft 2008-06-01 03:38:32 PM  
That's a whole heap of awesome.

What happened to the hero tag?

 
SR_NightBane 2008-06-01 03:40:18 PM  
Welcome to the Machine: SR_NightBane:
My best friend's wife hates me, I'm responsible for most of his scar tissue...

Yep, I'm kinda the bad influence too.
Wouldn't have it any other way.

"Life is not short. It is the longest thing you will ever do."
(my overused saying)


She still doesn't realize that our last "fishing trip" was in a little bar in the keys that had some truly kickass tequila.

/What? You need worms for bait!

 
MissK 2008-06-01 03:43:54 PM  
FTFA:On the same day George Francis, the oldest living American male, will also turn 112.

doesn't anyone else find this a pretty incredible coincidence? I wonder if it's really true....

/the same DAY?? the same age??

 
december 2008-06-01 03:45:52 PM  
isn't this the same story as always with these oldies? The cigarette, whisky, and wild woman industries must pay these guys off to say this.

 
ah3133 2008-06-01 03:49:20 PM  
keith richards, 2008:

i231.photobucket.com

keith richards 2038:

img148.imageshack.us

 
Cornwell [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 03:56:45 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: They're always smokers.
Never fat though.


That pic was just sent as an email attachment to some guy I know, working at the dept. of health

 
tortilla burger 2008-06-01 04:10:07 PM  
It seems like a lot of long-lived people attribute their health to whiskey. I think they're on to something here...

 
MadAsshatter 2008-06-01 04:14:52 PM  
december: isn't this the same story as always with these oldies? The cigarette, whisky, and wild woman industries must pay these guys off to say this.

They did the same with this guy:

www.hcoa.org

 
Hack Patooey 2008-06-01 04:15:53 PM  
LawrencePerson: Peter Sellers on the Muppet Show for the Win!

Starts about 2 minutes in.


I came here for that, and I wasn't disappointed. Thanks!

 
rainstorm 2008-06-01 04:16:24 PM  
My great grandfather lived to 103 and he smoke perodi (sp?) Italian cigars, was fairly mean, and drank wine up til the end. I think is is he secret to life.

/I'm going for immortal
//GTFOML!

 
FatherVic 2008-06-01 04:17:08 PM  
LawrencePerson: Peter Sellers on the Muppet Show for the Win!

Starts about 2 minutes in.


Bravo!!!

 
Barbecue Bob 2008-06-01 04:18:26 PM  
I've been drinking, smokin, and humpin girls for at least 20 years and I'm only 38.
I could have another 74 years of this if I keep it up...?

/KEWL!

 
Oldiron_79 2008-06-01 04:25:51 PM  
I figure before I hit 112 the Zombie apocalypse will hit.

But seriously, as to family history with old age....

The fat non smokers all have heart attacks or strokes between 77 and 85 and are healthy till they die

the skinny smokers make it to about 70-75 and die slow miserable death of lung cancer

The fat smokers have a heart attack about 65-70, at least cheat the cancer.

The skinny non smokers make it to about 85-90 and are bed ridden with arthritis and deaf.


Considering those options I've went the fat non-smoker route. I'd rather make 80 and die healthy as make 90 and spend the last 3-4 years of my life deaf and bed ridden.

 
buzzvert [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 04:27:04 PM  
Yay! I don't understand math, much less statistics, so I'm going to take any single example I can to justify my behavior! Yay!

/you could walk to that guy's birthday party upon the end-to-end corpses of deaths caused by cigarette and alcohol.

 
dprathbun [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-06-01 04:31:00 PM  
A fire on one end and a fool on the other

/smoker

 
Snakeophelia [TotalFark] 2008-06-01 04:32:04 PM  
Yes, but how are we wild, wild women able to live to be 100? Any tips for that?

 
TheStaffAce 2008-06-01 04:32:37 PM  
FatherVic: LawrencePerson: Peter Sellers on the Muppet Show for the Win!

Starts about 2 minutes in.

Bravo!!!


/Yep, awesome.
//Nice Pull.

 
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