Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor, lower sperm-count

Last fall, Alderden wrote in his column that Fort Collins is "becoming more like the imbecilic borough of Boulder than many would like to admit."

Alderden said he generally tries to write with a humorous slant, which some people take too seriously.

Well, see, now there's your problem, Sheriff. People who aren't funny shouldn't try to write with a humorous slant.

You would lose your sense of humor too, if somebody shoved your testicles up into your abdominal cavity.

rocinante721: Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor, lower sperm-count

I am firing just fine and I have been cycling for years.

This has gone green too. Bring on the cyclist hate.

duh?

I used to work with a VERY large woman who insisted on wearing 3 sizes-too-small spandex leggings under short skirts..


We called her "Sausage Pants"

It was a sad day for motorists when they made cattle guards illegal around here. farking cyclists.

There's no cyclist hate here, but what the hell is up with the spandex? Do you need to dress like you're racing the tour de france every time you go out for a ride, or would normal shorts and a t-shirt work just fine?

I don't know if there's causation, but there's definitely correlation.

markie_farkie: We called her "Sausage Pants"

That would make me lose my sense of humor.

And my lunch.

I think they may be onto something...



/Kirk was never so angry..

Probably from dominations on tf2 ...

/Goes by the nick of Spandex

What I love are the douchebags who buy a $5000 bike, spend another grand on custom gear, and still don't know what side of the freaking road to ride on.

Spandex should only be allowed on a very select set of people. The same goes for any tight or revealing clothing. If you're not actually being paid to model the body parts your "accentuating', you should be required by law to cover them up. Mu-mu's were invented for a reason: use them!

There is nothing funny about spandex. Especially at Wal Mart.

Mr. Gunn: There's no cyclist hate here, but what the hell is up with the spandex? Do you need to dress like you're racing the tour de france every time you go out for a ride, or would normal shorts and a t-shirt work just fine?

I don't know if there's causation, but there's definitely correlation.

At least some of it wicks sweat away,creates less friction, and other space-age stuff. But it does look a lil silly. When gas is 10 dollars probably less so. In Memphis there was an article a while ago where cyclist claim to have been hit with drinks, eggs, and had their life threatned from cars.

BizarreRecords: What I love are the douchebags who buy a $5000 bike, spend another grand on custom gear, and still don't know what side of the freaking road to ride on.

Or what a farking red light means.

The bit about the vandalism possibly having been committed by cyclists is based on nothing but speculation, and should not have been included in the article.

"Spandex causes people to loseloose sense of humor"


/pet peeve

H_is_for_Heretic: In Memphis there was an article a while ago where cyclist claim to have been hit with drinks, eggs, and had their life threatned from cars.

Well to be fair, that cyclist was probably keeping some lard ass from getting to Krispy Kreme 2 minutes faster.

cerberus9: Or what a farking red light means.

I'll agree with this one. I've seen far too many near misses due to cyclists deciding that traffic signals and stop signs don't apply to them. Hint: If you're cycling on the road, they apply to you.

cerberus9: Spandex should only be allowed on a very select set of people. The same goes for any tight or revealing clothing. If you're not actually being paid to model the body parts your "accentuating', you should be required by law to cover them up. Mu-mu's were invented for a reason: use them!

I'm wearing spandex right now, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

// was at the gym 26 minutes ago
// I'll take a shower soon, promise

H_is_for_Heretic: At least some of it wicks sweat away,creates less friction, and other space-age stuff. But it does look a lil silly. When gas is 10 dollars probably less so. In Memphis there was an article a while ago where cyclist claim to have been hit with drinks, eggs, and had their life threatned from cars.

I used to bike to work--damn sight cheaper. And even I got annoyed by the folks who took to the road in spandex. Mainly because they'd hit the bike trails in the area in packs, who didn't extend to anyone the courtesy that they demanded, and who seemed to forget that they drove their damn bikes on racks to get to the trails in the first place.

Congrats. You're on a bike. I get it. You want to get into shape, and you want to have a hobby. Good for you. Now how about you and your homies all stick to one side of the damn trail, maybe try to NOT ride four abreast, and natter on all the while, and maybe use some damn signals on occasion, and maybe not get pissed off that there are pedestrians trying to use the damn trail as well?

The Northampton area is bad for bikers who like to ride three abreast like they are moving fast enough to take the place of a car in a lane, and can't seem to grok that they actually have to follow the same rules that cars do about stops, turns, and those pesky crosswalks.

There's no entitlement quite like cyclist entitlement:

"I want to be treated with the same respect as any other vehicle on the road, but I also get to pick and choose which traffic laws to obey!"

I don't know about the sense-of-humor connection, but there sure seems to be some kind of link between Spandex and a wildly inflated sense of personal space on the road.

/Proud cyclist and motorist
//Proud, careful, and realistic about relative momentum

don't know, but seems as though this lady still has a sense of humor, although now I don't.

rocinante721

Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor, lower sperm-count




This might lower your count....but not mine.

I used to wear spandex and I concur.


End humorless transmission.

Mr. Gunn: There's no cyclist hate here, but what the hell is up with the spandex? Do you need to dress like you're racing the tour de france every time you go out for a ride, or would normal shorts and a t-shirt work just fine?

I don't know if there's causation, but there's definitely correlation.

For the folks who truly get into it, wearing the gear actually helps their overall performance. But that's for those who are truly into road biking. For casual riders, shorts and a tee are just fine.

I'm thinking of buying one for my commute to work - a nice little hybrid that'll let me go decently fast by still be fairly comfortable. I will NOT be wearing spandex. Not because I'm a fatty, but because I'm commuting to work.

Massa Damnata: rocinante721

Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor, lower sperm-count
This might lower your count....but not mine.

oh that'll lower your count alright... but just for a while until your ready for another go

10% of bikers are assholes.

95% of car drivers are assholes.

What the fark does it have to do with any of you what people wear on a bike?

Massa Damnata: rocinante721

Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor, lower sperm-count
This might lower your count....but not mine.

Someone please cue Mixalot for that ass. It's seriously a bit big for her frame.

...and before someone posts that in THEIR city it's ILLEGAL for cyclists to ride on the shoulder - check yer laws online before regurgitating your incorrect talking points.

Denver res here---Boulder is the hippy pot smokin hacky sack cyclyst town fyi. I intern on a radio show, talked about this last week----cyclist can be such dicks sometimes - THE ROADS ARE FOR CARS...farkn Spandau Ballet!

Kevua: don't know, but seems as though this lady still has a sense of humor, although now I don't.

Spandex doesn't cause people to lose their sense of humour. They just lose their sense of the absurd.

"But first: what do we, or to speak for myself, I, mean by the sense of the absurd? One dictionary defines absurd as: "utterly or obviously senseless, illogical, or untrue; contrary to all reason or common sense; laughably foolish or false." Note the "utterly" and the "obviously". Another dictionary says it means "inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense". Comfortable?" James Zulu's webpage, "The Sense of the Absurd".

Best thing about cyclists? The way they rock back and forth in pain on the pavement after they've been hit. I always slow down, roll down my window and yell, "Got one!"

Drivers who hit bicyclists should get a medal. They certainly have my praise.

fatdrunkguyinthere: THE ROADS ARE FOR CARS

And computers are for evolved humans with opposable thumbs, yet here you are.

I got more into cycling last year. I stopped going out with the local cycletouring group (the subgroup for newbs) because they were dickheads on the road.

This is what I love about Fark.

You have an article about schools trying to enforce dress codes and the thread is filled with people saying, "What country is this? I thought people were free do wear what they wanted."

But you have an article about spandex and cyclists and suddenly, "Spandex should only be allowed on a very select set of people."

I understand that people are going for impact. But it certainly indicates how pointless these "discussions" can be.

NYZooMan: 95% of car drivers people are assholes.

FTFY.

DrForrester: Best thing about cyclists? The way they rock back and forth in pain on the pavement after they've been hit. I always slow down, roll down my window and yell, "Got one!"

Drivers who hit bicyclists should get a medal. They certainly have my praise.

cerberus
"I want to be treated with the same respect as any other vehicle on the road, but I also get to pick and choose which traffic laws to obey!"

The problem is that bicycles are not cars but have as much right to the road as cars and therefore the laws/rules made for cars are not going to be applicable to bicycles in every scenario. We cyclists are at most a mild inconvenience to you while drives are a life threatening danger to us. Your chosen mode of transportation has created wars, societal conflict,air pollution and is leading towards greater economic instability.

Do I recognize the necessity of motor vehicles for the transport of goods and services? Of course. That said, you need more patience with bicycles... if a cyclist gets in your way and you're delayed an extra 30 seconds... at most... Get over it, douchebag. (Perhaps you should think about living a more responsible lifestyle.)

I live in Fort Collins and our bikers are nowhere near as bad as most of the asshole riders in Boulder.

meekychuppet: fatdrunkguyinthere: THE ROADS ARE FOR CARS

And computers are for evolved humans with opposable thumbs, yet here you are.

:P - I have a helper monkey, thank you very much.

Mrs. R and I car pooled to work, and I used to ride a bike home. And I didn't wear spandex out of respect to those who look good in it.

But the issue, Sheriff, isn't that spandex makes you lose your sense of humor. It's that having a gun and a badge makes you think you're God's gift to law enforcement. When cyclists not riding in single file becomes your primary law enforcement issue, you should be very, very thankful.

/Although Boulder and Fort Collins are full of asshats.

Die Kunst Der Fuge: cerberus
"I want to be treated with the same respect as any other vehicle on the road, but I also get to pick and choose which traffic laws to obey!"

The problem is that bicycles are not cars but have as much right to the road as cars and therefore the laws/rules made for cars are not going to be applicable to bicycles in every scenario. We cyclists are at most a mild inconvenience to you while drives are a life threatening danger to us. Your chosen mode of transportation has created wars, societal conflict,air pollution and is leading towards greater economic instability.

Do I recognize the necessity of motor vehicles for the transport of goods and services? Of course. That said, you need more patience with bicycles... if a cyclist gets in your way and you're delayed an extra 30 seconds... at most... Get over it, douchebag. (Perhaps you should think about living a more responsible lifestyle.)


I'm not talking about being momentarilly delayed, your holiness, I'm taking about the following:

- ignoring stop signs
- pausing at red lights, then blasting through them because it's "safe"
- never signalling turns
- riding on the shoulder to get through heavy traffice
- riding on the sidewalk because its more convenient

But of course, YOU'VE never done any of those, and don't know any cyclists who do.

DrForrester: Drivers who hit bicyclists should get a medal. They certainly have my praise.

Why you stupid jerka..

Die Kunst Der Fuge: if a cyclist gets in your way and you're delayed an extra 30 seconds... at most... Get over it, douchebag. (Perhaps you should think about living a more responsible lifestyle.)


Hmmm...I'm sorry DrForrester, you were saying...?

fatdrunkguyinthere: :P - I have a helper monkey, thank you very much.

Genius comeback. Eaten any good books lately?

cerberus9: I'm not talking about being momentarilly delayed, your holiness, I'm taking about the following:

- ignoring stop signs
- pausing at red lights, then blasting through them because it's "safe"
- never signalling turns
- riding on the shoulder to get through heavy traffice
- riding on the sidewalk because its more convenient

But of course, YOU'VE never done any of those, and don't know any cyclists who do.

I could say the same of motorists.

Die Kunst Der Fuge: cerberus
"I want to be treated with the same respect as any other vehicle on the road, but I also get to pick and choose which traffic laws to obey!"

The problem is that bicycles are not cars but have as much right to the road as cars and therefore the laws/rules made for cars are not going to be applicable to bicycles in every scenario. We cyclists are at most a mild inconvenience to you while drives are a life threatening danger to us. Your chosen mode of transportation has created wars, societal conflict,air pollution and is leading towards greater economic instability.

Do I recognize the necessity of motor vehicles for the transport of goods and services? Of course. That said, you need more patience with bicycles... if a cyclist gets in your way and you're delayed an extra 30 seconds... at most... Get over it, douchebag. (Perhaps you should think about living a more responsible lifestyle.)

Likewise, bicyclists need to realize that there are pedestrians out there as well. Oops. And that traffic rules are there for a damn reason, and the cherry picking of which to obey leads to the very life threatening dangers you allude to.

Don't pat yourself on the back for biking, because I'm willing to bet that MOST of the folks who are trammeling the roads have cars waiting for them at home as well.

When I rode on a regular basis, I planned out my route to AVOID major traffic--because I had no interest in getting pasted by a truck or other drivers. How did I avoid those life threatening dangers? By being smart about it, and NOT assuming that everyone was going to even see me, and certainly not demanding the same "respect" on the road. I assumed that most folks wouldn't notice me until they were right on top of me, and I rode defensively for 7 miles in, and 7 miles back, day in and day out.

lostcat: This is what I love about Fark.

You have an article about schools trying to enforce dress codes and the thread is filled with people saying, "What country is this? I thought people were free do wear what they wanted."

But you have an article about spandex and cyclists and suddenly, "Spandex should only be allowed on a very select set of people."

I understand that people are going for impact. But it certainly indicates how pointless these "discussions" can be.

You do realize that it's probably not the same people posting those things, don't you? It's not like there's some sort of hive mind at work here. I have noticed, from time to time, that sometimes, very occasionally, Farkers sometimes slightly disagree with each other. Sometimes.