Isn't this the same site that had the photo from Fallout 3?

As soon as they threaten to release Duke Nukem Forever I will be worried.

Basically, whatever this guy says the complete opposite is true.

Evil foreshadowing. Nuclear attack happens before November, forcing everything to remain under Republican control.

Jeez, I'm drunk.

coachwdb: Evil foreshadowing. Nuclear attack happens before November, forcing everything to remain under Republican control.

Jeez, I'm drunk.

Im not drunk, and i thought of the same thing when i read headline.

/expects more of these as we get closer to November.

Bring it on?

I've got my 1950's lead lined refrigerator. If there's one thing the movies have taught me, it's that locking yourself in a lead lined refrigerator will save you from a nuclear blast with little or no injury.

time to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape

shiat...and I just used my last on the hooker in my basement.

This is an election year.

Hasn't there been a "low risk" of nuclear war for, I dunno, about 5 decades now? Next he'll tell us hurricanes can happen this time of year.

School children only need to get under their desk to survive a nuclear attack.

That is why I have built my shelter out of school children.

I almost forgot, I'm supposed to be afraid! Shame on me, and thank you Mr. Chertoff for the reminder. Glad we still have something important to worry about instead of silly economic troubles.

We're lucky that terrorists want to pursue the big splashy kind of operations rather than the more easily-pulled-off variety. A small group using conventional armaments could severely disrupt things if they had a mind to, using targeting and methods I won't get into.

All you need to know about Chertoff is that he was nominated by Bush. This means he's thoroughly incompetent, but it also means he's a party loyalist that will say/do whatever he's asked.

jjorsett: A small group using conventional armaments could severely disrupt things if they had a mind to, using targeting and methods I won't get into.

A Beslan a week for the next few months would be all but impossible to stop.

Then again, I wonder why we haven't seen suicide bombers over here (though I think we have had an attempt or two in NYC) or IEDs or car bombers (OKC, I guess) or stuff like that. It's not that hard, and if you are already suicidal, there should be that stuff going on all the time.

Unless, of course, the threat of Islamist terrorism is wildly overblown...

glenlivid 2008-05-31 05:31:22 PM
All you need to know about Chertoff is that he was nominated by Bush. This means he's thoroughly incompetent, but it also means he's a party loyalist that will say/do whatever he's asked.

Like Scott McClellan?

Michael Chertoff can suck the inside of Scott McClellan's dick

I would be more afraid of the zombies after the blast.

panzerfaustbob: jjorsett: A small group using conventional armaments could severely disrupt things if they had a mind to, using targeting and methods I won't get into.

A Beslan a week for the next few months would be all but impossible to stop.

Then again, I wonder why we haven't seen suicide bombers over here (though I think we have had an attempt or two in NYC) or IEDs or car bombers (OKC, I guess) or stuff like that. It's not that hard, and if you are already suicidal, there should be that stuff going on all the time.

Unless, of course, the threat of Islamist terrorism is wildly overblown...

Or if we're actually mildly successful at preventing them from entering the country....

Real reason: Sending a guy over here costs a lot of money. You've got to buy him a plane ticket to Mexico, then pay off a coyote to take him across the border. The return on investment is a lot lower when all the guy's going to do is blow up a Starbucks. Those guys doing suicide bombings in Iraq? They're poor and abundant. Just promise their family will get a goat, and they'll do whatever they want.

shaddap chertoff you monkey brained moron. you're supposed to wait until just before the election to try and stampede the voters through fear of these phoney baloney warnings of yours.

jjorsett: We're lucky that terrorists want to pursue the big splashy kind of operations rather than the more easily-pulled-off variety. A small group using conventional armaments could severely disrupt things if they had a mind to, using targeting and methods I won't get into.

Yah. The terrorist warnings are mostly(mostly) bullshiat. Imagine what 10 guys could do, if they just had orders like "do whatever you can to increase chaos"

ANd yes ive seen fight club.

The American Version:



"Everything is fine. Nothing to see. We will be victorious!"

Samsaran: we will maim, disfigure, poison and kill your children. The cries of terror, the cries for mercy and the prayers to Allah for salvation will go unheeded as your civilization crumbles at last into the dust....You are warned.

Thanks for that message of support from the NRA. Now, back to Barney and Friends.

The Beacon Man: Farkin'round: Chertoff is a tool of the Neo-Cons to spread turrist fears.


Barack Hussein Obama is the jihadis' tool.

Account created: 2008-05-27 16:54:13

Afternoon Delight, you still suck

serial_crusher: Or if we're actually mildly successful at preventing them from entering the country....

Real reason: Sending a guy over here costs a lot of money. You've got to buy him a plane ticket to Mexico, then pay off a coyote to take him across the border. The return on investment is a lot lower when all the guy's going to do is blow up a Starbucks. Those guys doing suicide bombings in Iraq? They're poor and abundant. Just promise their family will get a goat, and they'll do whatever they want.

Don't forget the "corruption effect" where a would-be jihadi finds out life is kinda nice in the civilized world. I mean, fundies are stupid motherfarkers but every once in a while they realize just how nice boobies, booze, and buicks can be.

Wait, what am I supposed to be afraid of today?

jjorsett: glenlivid 2008-05-31 05:31:22 PM
All you need to know about Chertoff is that he was nominated by Bush. This means he's thoroughly incompetent, but it also means he's a party loyalist that will say/do whatever he's asked.

Like Scott McClellan?

Sure, McClellan was a loyalist while he was working for the administration. All these creeps are until they leave and then wash their hands of the trainwreck; try to relieve the burden on their souls that they did despicable things for the worst administration ever.

...but I was thinking more along the lines of Tom Ridge.

The Beacon Man: Farkin'round: Chertoff is a tool of the Neo-Cons to spread turrist fears.


Barack Hussein Obama is the jihadis' tool.

What's with the current neo-con "talking point" that, somehow, Obama's involved with Middle East nuke tech? Did I miss a "FOX Tin-foil Alert"?

Sheeshiathought the horrifying West Virginia interviews were the epitome of extremism - I can't wait when it gets to the point where those knuckle-draggers become the "moderate voices."

Crakerasscracker: Wait, what am I supposed to be afraid of today?

Neo-cons, silly. This is their last push before most of them get booted out of office (and all that lovely, lovely cash dries up) so they've got to stir things up one more time.

Marla Singer's Laundry
Account created: 2008-05-27 16:54:13

Afternoon Delight, you still suck

LOLOL Oh Snap!

Nice catch MSL

How Americans stay sane in the face of financial dissolution and political oblivion amazes me.

It's like the Lord of all the lions suddenly turning into the oldest, fattest zebra on the plains.

I don't believe him when he says it's likely, and I don't believe him now either.

+ 1 on reading it correctly, subby.

It's always been clear that when the powers of a nation say "BE AFRAID", they are selling something. When they say "DON'T WORRY", it's time to worry.

I love how we don't get Al-qaeda tapes anymore, so we have to prop up the youtube collages their 11 year old sons put together to get our daily fear.

Chertoff should be fired just for causing all the hysteria he could muster up over a screen shot from a video game.

Wasn't it like a year ago when some Alex Jones listener made a video of himself being beheaded, and the world media ate it up and pimped the fear as much as they could. The kid fessed up to it, and since there haven't been any beheading videos.....

I think the next viral "turrist" video should come from a farker. Maybe dress up in an orange jump suit, cover yourself in cheeze wizz and scream at the camera "THEY ARE FEEDING ME TO DOGS" while your Jack Russel stares at your with great hunger.

I bet you get at least a week of air play.

"We will destroy your ancient cities, we will sow your soil with radioactivity, we will maim, disfigure, poison and kill your children."


Hey, now, that's a little over the top. Use neutron weapons, some of those ancient cities are cool.



/Seriously, 15 guys from Saudi, led by a guy from Saudi, kill 2500 of our people, so we invade the country NEXT to Saudi, for no particular reason, kill 100k of their civilians, torture the pows, throw our own people in the same jails without trial, and .....well, i'm not sure where I'm going with this, but i don't like it, which pretty much sums up our forigen and domestic policy these days

Samsaran: It reminds me of a fat waitress in a trailer watching the Oscars and making snarky comments about what the women are wearing on the red carpet.

That's quite a specific analogy you got there. Mrs. Samsaran?

Samsaran: You Militant Muslims thought we were pissed when you crashed those plans into the towers? When and if you use a nuke on American soil or in a European Capital there will come a rain of destruction like nothing you have ever seen. It will make the Crusades look like a walk in the park. The West is slow to anger but once our fury is unleashed we are merciless. We will destroy your ancient cities, we will sow your soil with radioactivity, we will maim, disfigure, poison and kill your children. The cries of terror, the cries for mercy and the prayers to Allah for salvation will go unheeded as your civilization crumbles at last into the dust.

That's all very true and very biblical, but militant muslims don't give a shiat about any of that.

Nice try though.

submitter: ranslation: time to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape

Duct Tape. It's the handyman's secret weapon!

Congratulations on being divided and conquered yet again, America! You're really good at being grouped, and set at odds with each other. Believing in corporate media and politicians who work for corporations via special interest groups has really made it easy to pull your wool over your eyes, and the fleecing naturally follows. This is old stuff. They're pretty smart about it. They can fleece your grandchildren without you feeling it thanks to the fractional reserve system of robbery. Our forefathers would be ashamed indeed. Who was it that said: "A nation of sheep begets a government of wolves."?

The current 2 party system is largely populated by socialists, particularly in the current presidential race. McCain just smells more like war than the other two. The other two don't even try to hide their socialist ideals. You know who was also big on socialism? That's right! Hitler, Stalin, Mao, etc... Y'know, those guys that liked to let their people starve to death or worse. Wake up and smell the imperialism. Our economy is a great indicator of us doing the wrong thing. We really should know better than to think that countries will not be offended by our occupation, meddling, and generally arrogant and threatening stance toward the rest of the world. It reflects on all of us. Yapping about it on fark does not shield anyone from blame. We, being cleverly divided, are left to argue amongst ourselves, while those responsible line their pockets with profits. Who is responsible for their actions? The world may believe that we are, as we've apparently put these people into office. Both parties have worked together to create our current messes, and have been doing the same for a good hundred years or so. Eventually, we have to face the fact that we've fallen prey to one of the oldest tricks in the book. Eventually, we have to wrench our country back from the corporatists and would-be despots. We were once the beacon of hope for the world. Proof that freedom worked. Now, we are something else. Declining and devolving into they type of country that we would take issue with. It is quite sad.

Well, Indiana Jones survived a ground zero nuclear blast using just a lead lined fridge. If Homeless Insecurity just delivers one big enough for a family of four to get inside of, I'm sure we'll all be just fine. think of all the plastic sheeting and duct tape that could be saved. Westinghouse can make the fridge since they make nukes too, just to be safe.

This a$$hat should have been fired after Katrina.

now I assume I am supposed to duct tape the plastic around my head??

I feel totally safe and Mr. Chertoff would never lie to us! I know cause they make me take off my shoes in airports and I go to church every Sunday!

/sarcasm

How can you tell someone from the Bush admin is lying...their lips are moving.

Chertoff is still here? I thought I smelt cabbage...

The Beacon Man: Farkin'round: Chertoff is a tool of the Neo-Cons to spread turrist fears.


Barack Hussein Obama is the jihadis' tool.

Account created:2008-05-27 16:54:13

Are you a freeper or some old troll's alt?

Crakerasscracker: Wait, what am I supposed to be afraid of today?

Bucky Katt: The Beacon Man: Farkin'round: Chertoff is a tool of the Neo-Cons to spread turrist fears.


Barack Hussein Obama is the jihadis' tool.

Account created:2008-05-27 16:54:13

Are you a freeper or some old troll's alt?

talk about a day late/dollar short....

"By the way, the president and I will be touring the south pole this week. Good bye and God bless."

so, some turrists found the missing WMDs? finally.