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(Canada.com) Interesting "Al Qaeda is nearing defeat" said CIA Director Michael Hayden, while stroking his pet unicorn   (canada.com) divider line 67
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424 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 May 2008 at 12:59 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Tabatha Static 2008-05-30 10:50:59 AM  
i27.photobucket.com

Doubleplus good!

 
incendi [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 10:59:50 AM  
It's sort of like scrubbing the blood off your hand with a wire brush.

 
Dogberry [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:03:32 AM  
Did I miss the display of a certain someone's head on a pike?

 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:03:58 AM  
The capture of jihadist mastermind Racha'el al-Ray has Al Quaeda on the run. Once we capture Obama's Auschwitz prison guard uncle, we can finally take the duct tape off of our doors and windows.

 
MisterTweak 2008-05-30 11:09:20 AM  
I think we should provide lots of technical assistance and money to a splinter group to help defeat the larger enemy, then once they're hurting, we can turn tail and leave, and let the crowds tear our "friends" to pieces.

Oh. That's been tried before? Never mind.

 
GurneyHalleck [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:11:53 AM  
"So we'll be getting weapons and supplies to them as soon as possible. Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that part."

 
Jubeebee 2008-05-30 11:19:40 AM  
The narrative on AQ since 9/11 has gone something like this:

They're on the run!
Brink of defeat!
Brilliant escape!
Totally destroyed!
Resilient pockets!
Resurgent!
Decimated!
We're making progress!
They're more powerful than ever!
Got their number two!
Facing rebellion!
Deadliest attacks yet!
Nearing defeat!

 
Etchy333 [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:20:44 AM  
Great! So, I guess we don't need the PATRIOT Act anymore.

 
KaponoFor3 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:23:16 AM  
You think that our intelligence friends would learn that maybe they should STFU about these things, even if they think they are true

 
burndtdan 2008-05-30 11:32:19 AM  
Jubeebee: Resilient pockets!

are they wearing cargo pants?

Jubeebee: Got their number two!

but who does number two work for?

i89.photobucket.com

 
unlikely [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:35:38 AM  
They should see total defeat by late october.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 11:44:47 AM  
Does this mean we've turned the corner?

 
ScubaDude1960 [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 12:03:37 PM  
Al Qaeda will be around as long as the CIA keeps them on the payroll.

 
2wolves 2008-05-30 12:30:38 PM  
ScubaDude1960: Al Qaeda will be around as long as the CIA GOP keeps them on the payroll.

Small edit for accuracy.

 
ninth_level_dan [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 12:58:01 PM  
Al Qaeda's mission was to financially and politically cripple the United States, leaving it desperately weakened and no longer a player on the global stage. That being mostly accomplished, I would guess they are probably shutting themselves down.


/some sarcasm involved

 
Shaggy_C 2008-05-30 01:04:40 PM  
I called this in the thread earlier.

News comes out that Americans are at record lows in Iraq war support.

Later that day, "Al Qaeda is almost defeated!"

Obfuscate, create a story, and once again conflate Al Qaeda with Iraq. 1,2,3.

 
Trollomite 2008-05-30 01:05:05 PM  
They are just downsizing because they know Obama is going to win the presidency and he'll take over the mission from there.

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:05:47 PM  
ninth_level_dan: Al Qaeda's mission was to financially and politically cripple the United States, leaving it desperately weakened and no longer a player on the global stage. That being mostly accomplished, I would guess they are probably shutting themselves down.

Osama is probably in a cave somewhere standing in front of a 'Mission Accomplished' banner.

 
Geotpf 2008-05-30 01:06:00 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: Does this mean we've turned the corner?

Must be a myriagon.

 
Rann Xerox 2008-05-30 01:07:23 PM  
Looks like we've turned another corner on that geodesic dome that is called Iraq.

 
DragonSun 2008-05-30 01:08:06 PM  
Sounds like Michael Hayden is our version of Baghdad Bob.
www.code7r.org
www.code7r.org

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:12:35 PM  
Other Muslims don't like them. Their brand of Islamic violence isn't cool.

The fact that they have been rejected by their fellow Muslims has as much to do with their demise than anything the US has done.

 
Man On Fire 2008-05-30 01:13:23 PM  
they were nearing defeat in 2003, but then we stopped paying attention, and we had to go and do it again.

 
ninth_level_dan [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:13:55 PM  
vernonFL :
Osama is probably in a cave really nice house in Pakistan somewhere standing in front of a 'Mission Accomplished' banner.


FTFY

 
SCUBA_Archer 2008-05-30 01:14:00 PM  
vernonFL: Osama is probably in a cave somewhere standing in front of a 'Mission Accomplished' banner.


Ooooo sounds like a photoshop opportunity,

 
RandomExcess 2008-05-30 01:14:45 PM  
Finally THE LAST THROES.

 
HotWingConspiracy [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:17:03 PM  
Well at least he said al-Qaeda and not "terror".

Why would anyone believe anything coming from an agency who's specialty is subterfuge and deceit?

 
LarryDan43 2008-05-30 01:17:33 PM  
I got paid today so my bank account is nearing a billion dollars. I've still got 999+ million to go, but it's nearer!

 
unexplained bacon 2008-05-30 01:23:32 PM  
MisterTweak: I think we should provide lots of technical assistance and money to a splinter group to help defeat the larger enemy, then once they're hurting, we can turn tail and leave, and let the crowds tear our "friends" to pieces.

Oh. That's been tried before? Never mind.


I think we should increase our troop numbers in an effort to stabilize iraq so their government can get some breathing room and make the tough but essential decisions they've failed to make so far.

Oh. That's been tried before? Never mind.

damned if we leave
damned if we stay

in a spot like this I'd say the best bet is to stop following the leaders that led us here. in fact, I wouldn't oppose holding those leaders accountable for this mess. I'm nutty that way.

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:24:29 PM  
good let's declare victory and bring em home. we could use the extra cash.

 
1derful 2008-05-30 01:28:13 PM  
The imaginary Al-Qaeda that's been used as an excuse for this administration to wipe their ass with the constitution of the United States certainly is nearing its end.

The real-life one is doing fine and well, since the rocket surgeons that have been running the "War on Terror" have allowed Osama Bin Laden to turn the world into his myspace page.

 
Ed Finnerty 2008-05-30 01:29:03 PM  
So we can ignore any reports of "increased chatter" that come up just before elections?

 
madcan34 2008-05-30 01:33:00 PM  
They'll just call Al-Qaeda something different and then proceed to tell the world that Al-Qaeda doesn't exist - therefore WE WIN!!!!

 
Theaetetus 2008-05-30 01:34:49 PM  
growabrain.typepad.com

 
Crunch61 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-30 01:36:00 PM  
vernonFL: Osama is probably in a cave somewhere standing in front of a 'Mission Accomplished' banner dead.

/ftfy

 
Liberal Elite 2008-05-30 01:42:22 PM  
Do they mean Al-Qaeda as an organization or Al Qaeda as an ideal.

Even if we stop Al-Qaeda if we don't address the root problems another terrorist organization will form and we'll be back were we started.

 
OneBrightMonkey 2008-05-30 01:42:35 PM  
Not bad, but let me make some minor corrections:


Jubeebee: The narrative on AQ since 9/11 has gone something like this:

They're on the run!
Got their number two!
Got their number two!
Brink of defeat!
Brilliant escape!
Got their number two!
Totally destroyed!
Resilient pockets!
Got their number two!
Resurgent!
Decimated!
We're making progress!
Got their number two!
They're more powerful than ever!
Got their number two!
Facing rebellion!
Got their number two!
Got their number two!
Deadliest attacks yet!
Nearing defeat!

 
Elvis Christ 2008-05-30 01:42:41 PM  
Poor naive Michael Hayden. He didn't realize that he must publish good news AFTER a Democrat is elected into office or else liberals will brush it off. He should have waited a few months.

 
unexplained bacon 2008-05-30 01:43:18 PM  
madcan34: They'll just call Al-Qaeda something different and then proceed to tell the world that Al-Qaeda doesn't exist - therefore WE WIN!!!!

hey it worked with torture.

 
Luther924s 2008-05-30 01:44:32 PM  
img123.imageshack.us
img123.imageshack.us

 
Luther924s 2008-05-30 01:45:26 PM  
img123.imageshack.us
img123.imageshack.us

 
Spindle 2008-05-30 01:48:11 PM  
Liberal Elite: Do they mean Al-Qaeda as an organization or Al Qaeda as an ideal.

Even if we stop Al-Qaeda if we don't address the root problems another terrorist organization will form and we'll be back were we started.


No doubt, this is like when a company goes through a really bad lawsuit (ValuJet) and decides to change the company name rather than continue to suffer the PR hit.

 
xbattlewax 2008-05-30 01:57:50 PM  
Liberal Elite: Do they mean Al-Qaeda as an organization or Al Qaeda as an ideal.

Even if we stop Al-Qaeda if we don't address the root problems another terrorist organization will form and we'll be back were we started.


I'm curious as to what those root problems are.

 
wolvernova 2008-05-30 01:59:02 PM  
vernonFL: Other Muslims don't like them. Their brand of Islamic violence isn't cool.

The fact that they have been rejected by their fellow Muslims has as much to do with their demise than anything the US has done.


This.

Probably one of the reasons things have turned a corner in Iraq as well. People were sick of walking outside and seeing body parts everywhere.

 
machoprogrammer 2008-05-30 02:03:28 PM  
Jubeebee: The narrative on AQ since 9/11 has gone something like this:

They're on the run!
Brink of defeat!
Brilliant escape!
Totally destroyed!
Resilient pockets!
Resurgent!
Decimated!
We're making progress!
They're more powerful than ever!
Got their number two!
Facing rebellion!
Deadliest attacks yet!
Nearing defeat!


We never got AQ's #2. Just AQ in Iraq. AQ's #2 is Zawahiri, whom's capture would be significant.

 
misery faded 2008-05-30 02:23:10 PM  
img.photobucket.com

 
bartink 2008-05-30 02:32:26 PM  
Last throes?

 
Pootums 2008-05-30 02:52:59 PM  
xbattlewax: Liberal Elite: Do they mean Al-Qaeda as an organization or Al Qaeda as an ideal.

Even if we stop Al-Qaeda if we don't address the root problems another terrorist organization will form and we'll be back were we started.

I'm curious as to what those root problems are.


Having Western military or heavy commercial presence in the ME seems to have pissed off a lot Muslamos. They just don't appreciate our very heavy handed ways of yore. Don't seem to care for recent invasions, either. Move all troops to Afghanistan. Take out the Paki-Afghan border and leave. Ruin the Taliban on the way out.

Leave the ME to it's 7th Century ways. The House of Saud is coming to realize Waziri teachings are dangerous to them, too.

Buy oil and have it delivered. Buy more from South America and cut the chest thumping and name calling. Open off shore drilling with huge safeguards (no more Campeche rig accidents).

Intensive national work on renewable energy and an alt. fuel source for the interim. Weeds, not corn!

Flip 'em the bird when the despots we helped arrive on our doorstep asking for munitions. They are big boys, let them settle their own internal differences.

 
philo13181 2008-05-30 02:54:26 PM  
farm3.static.flickr.com

 
dracos31 2008-05-30 02:58:36 PM  
Elvis Christ: Poor naive Michael Hayden. He didn't realize that he must publish good news AFTER a Democrat is elected into office or else liberals will brush it off. He should have waited a few months.



img174.imageshack.us

 
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