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(USA Today) Interesting More fitness enthusiasts are using the bible to guide their workouts, with such biblical principles as "your body is a temple." Submitter fails at religion, since he's had no worshippers at his temple in a LONG time   (usatoday.com) divider line 114
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TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 03:45:44 AM  
At your "temple", you might want to get rid of the gargoyles, and erect a spire.

 
5000_gallons_of_toothpaste 2008-05-25 03:56:47 AM  
The average American's body is a megachurch.

 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 04:10:26 AM  
"I consider my body a temple. Or at least a relatively well-maintaned Presbyterian youth center."

--Emo Phillips

 
domenad 2008-05-25 04:45:54 AM  
That's why Catholic mass was a model for life. Get up, get down, up, down, kneel, up, down.....snack time: little piece of flavorless bread. Live like that and you'll be thin.

 
NYZooMan 2008-05-25 04:47:33 AM  
Building an ark by hand will get you in great shape.

 
AgentPothead 2008-05-25 04:50:35 AM  
Stupid people do stupid things. Welcome to news in the 21st century.

 
Haoie 2008-05-25 04:50:42 AM  
What would Jesus think of steroid use?

 
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2008-05-25 04:50:53 AM  
I hear ocelots are fattening

 
El_Dan 2008-05-25 04:55:06 AM  
Humping the bible is good exercise, apparently.

 
Bunnyhat 2008-05-25 04:59:56 AM  
I went door to door offering people access to my temple and all I got was a lousy T-shirt and 3-5 years upstate.

 
altrocks 2008-05-25 05:04:35 AM  
Bible Aerobics Class:

Turn the other cheek!
Kneel!
Praise!
Stand!
10 Hail Mary pushups!
20 Our Father sit-ups!
Cross Position!
Rest.
Repeat 3 days later.

 
PfizerX 2008-05-25 05:06:41 AM  
This thread needs some flavor...

www.uweb.ucsb.edu

Yeah, that type of flavor.

Thats what condition my condition is in.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 05:08:32 AM  
Hi ghey Farkers! Enjoy being the total pieces of shiat (i.e. normal outcasts that you are) while you delve into the lower debasement of your total lack of principles, ethics, and morals. And for all the douchebaggery that you are, try to refrain from challenging me on ethics or morals (even the failure atheist Farkers know they have no principles); look up the words first please. Because you don't have any of them. Thanks for playing. Now go read some fake science and be proud of yourselves :D Suck a dick!

Troll = 11 outta 10. I win, now go home to your basement.

 
Vertdang 2008-05-25 05:13:24 AM  
YoggiSothoth: Hi ghey Farkers! Enjoy being the total pieces of shiat (i.e. normal outcasts that you are) while you delve into the lower debasement of your total lack of principles, ethics, and morals. And for all the douchebaggery that you are, try to refrain from challenging me on ethics or morals (even the failure atheist Farkers know they have no principles); look up the words first please. Because you don't have any of them. Thanks for playing. Now go read some fake science and be proud of yourselves :D Suck a dick!

Troll = 11 outta 10. I win, now go home to your basement.


You had an extra "1" there in the front for some reason... I don't know why.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 05:15:59 AM  
holiday_inn_in_cambodia: I hear ocelots are fattening

I blame school lunches.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 05:24:26 AM  
Vertdang: You had an extra "1" there in the front for some reason... I don't know why.

You are right, I did have and extra amount of I "won," cause I just kick your ass in. Submit. You recognize it; I recognize it. Submit. The faster you get this though your head like the jism-brain-injection (with tea-bag goodness) I just did to you, the better off we all are.

You're too dumb to have an opinion, so please, please, please, stop responding.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 05:26:14 AM  
morning_foil: He thought the first '1' was in fact a '-'.

FAIL

 
Devolving_Spud 2008-05-25 05:31:36 AM  
"Dasheth the little children against the rocks" workout?

 
Single White Male 2008-05-25 05:36:44 AM  
domenad: That's why Catholic mass was a model for life. Get up, get down, up, down, kneel, up, down.....snack time: little piece of flavorless bread. Live like that and you'll be thin.

You forgot about the booze.

 
meekychuppet 2008-05-25 05:39:42 AM  
God I hate these stupid workouts.

Why complicate things? All you need is 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise every other day combined with a decent and balanced diet and you'll be fine.

 
greedalwayskills [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 05:54:30 AM  
YoggiSothoth

how Christian of you. Lil' baby jesus must be so proud.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:00:56 AM  
greedalwayskills: YoggiSothoth

how Christian of you. Lil' baby jesus must be so proud.


I ate baby Jesus. Tastes good on a Texan BBQ. Yum.

Always love how atheists always wanna try that angle. It doesn't work, but you'll get over it. After I annihilate you, I can go to Church today and be forgiven. Where's that leave you?

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:09:43 AM  
Wow, I think I actually killed this thread (we all know this would have 500 posts by now based upon the headline). I'm disgusted of all you farktards and your irreverence for religion. Religion wins. Now go cry in your favorite blanket saturated in urine.

/biggest bonus ... I'm not religious :D just have a slight idea of what respect is (and no, you tards don't deserve an ounce)

 
little_wing 2008-05-25 06:12:30 AM  
Welcome to my block list.

 
itzhak 2008-05-25 06:14:45 AM  
Most trolls go for the "offensive and provocative" approach, but I see this one uses the much more controversial "ridiculously lame" approach. Perhaps it should not have skipped all those courses at the troll academy.

 
LonMead 2008-05-25 06:25:53 AM  
YoggiSothoth: Wow, I think I actually killed this thread (we all know this would have 500 posts by now based upon the headline). I'm disgusted of all you farktards and your irreverence for religion. Religion wins. Now go cry in your favorite blanket saturated in urine.

/biggest bonus ... I'm not religious :D just have a slight idea of what respect is (and no, you tards don't deserve an ounce)


So, Yoggi, why so tense? Maybe you should switch to Sankatm brand decaffienated.

Oh, and while you're have your cup, try to think of the good things in your life, like the ability to imagine anyone cares about your opinion.

/your troll fu is not only weak, but silly

 
dogslobber buttlube 2008-05-25 06:26:42 AM  
I didn't read the article because my doctor told me not to exercise. I am sure it was sinful anyway.
=Margaret+

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:27:45 AM  
little_wing: Welcome to my block list.

It always amazes me when true receiving-end homos say "block block" ... like I need to know. STFU and just to it you loser. Yeah, you might have got the final word, but in reality, your life is so bereft of any excitement, you want me on that forum ... you need me on that forum.

 
0Icky0 2008-05-25 06:28:03 AM  
YoggiSothoth: After I annihilate you, I can go to Church today and be forgiven. Where's that leave you?

In and out of a Thai whore's pussy.

/Wanna trade? I don't.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:31:05 AM  
LonMead: So, Yoggi, why so tense? Maybe you should switch to Sankatm brand decaffienated.

Oh, and while you're have your cup, try to think of the good things in your life, like the ability to imagine anyone cares about your opinion.

/your troll fu is not only weak, but silly


Silly? Yes. True and exact as well? Yes.

Oh, and again, thanks for the reply *deep bow*. Apparently, someone cares about my opinion so much that they have to respond to it to tell me that they don't care about my opinion. I have a 101 Logic book if you want to borrow it. I want it back, but I suspect you're an amoral thief.

 
greedalwayskills [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 06:31:22 AM  
YoggiSothoth meh. you have nothing.

 
little_wing 2008-05-25 06:32:56 AM  
YoggiSothoth: little_wing: Welcome to my block list.

It always amazes me when true receiving-end homos say "block block" ... like I need to know. STFU and just to it you loser. Yeah, you might have got the final word, but in reality, your life is so bereft of any excitement, you want me on that forum ... you need me on that forum.


Says the fat, isolated virgin. (Was I right?)

Goodbye.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:34:23 AM  
0Icky0: YoggiSothoth: After I annihilate you, I can go to Church today and be forgiven. Where's that leave you?

In and out of a Thai whore's pussy.

/Wanna trade? I don't.


I'm guessing you were a gentleman and only left her with one black eye. You Casanova.

 
BorgDrone 2008-05-25 06:35:08 AM  
YoggiSothoth:
(...)
/biggest bonus ... I'm not religious :D just have a slight idea of what respect is (and no, you tards don't deserve an ounce)


Religion doesn't deserve respect.

I respect certain people, some of whom happen to be religious, but people don't deserve respect just because they happen to be religious, actually: I respect certain people in spite of them being religious.

 
Selector 2008-05-25 06:35:24 AM  
YoggiSothoth: 0Icky0: YoggiSothoth: After I annihilate you, I can go to Church today and be forgiven. Where's that leave you?

In and out of a Thai whore's pussy.

/Wanna trade? I don't.

I'm guessing you were a gentleman and only left her with one black eye. You Casanova.




Baha. Helluva job sir. I give 9/10.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:40:00 AM  
little_wing: YoggiSothoth: little_wing: Welcome to my block list.

It always amazes me when true receiving-end homos say "block block" ... like I need to know. STFU and just to it you loser. Yeah, you might have got the final word, but in reality, your life is so bereft of any excitement, you want me on that forum ... you need me on that forum.

Says the fat, isolated virgin. (Was I right?)

Goodbye.


1) Ignore -- FAIL on saying I'm on ignore (admit it, you can't resist me, can you?)
2) Fat -- FAIL unfortunately, I have the slight opposite problem ... I might have tape worms or something
3) Virgin -- FAIL allow me to show you some of my girlfriends that would blow away anything you were even were next to

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:41:01 AM  
Selector: Baha. Helluva job sir. I give 9/10.

Thanks man!

 
0Icky0 2008-05-25 06:42:12 AM  
YoggiSothoth: You Casanova.

No. Casablanca.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 06:42:12 AM  
Yoggi: you're trying too hard, man. Dial it back about a half dozen notches. You've blown clear past trolling and wound up in "Bobcat Goldthwait reading Proust aloud".

 
Selector 2008-05-25 06:44:17 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: Yoggi: you're trying too hard, man. Dial it back about a half dozen notches. You've blown clear past trolling and wound up in "Bobcat Goldthwait reading Proust aloud".

At least he's more entertaining than IBlowBaptists, who'll inevitably be around in this thread later because the headline contains the word "Bible".

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:44:27 AM  
BorgDrone: Religion doesn't deserve respect.

Never said religion deserves respect per se. I was (in my best trolling effort) maintaining that if you want to be decent, you shouldn't shiat on another person's religion, like farkers constantly do. So I decided to totally derail this thread, since it always winds up the same way.

But now it is almost time for bed. But I'm so excited at what my nemesis is going to write :D

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 06:47:19 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: you're trying too hard

I tried a new tactic. I think it was fun. Total in-your-face obnoxious. I don't think anyone has done it to the level that I did it in this thread. Then again, I could be wrong ... but I want a source to disprove me :D

 
little_wing 2008-05-25 06:52:35 AM  
It's a pity all the fun ones have disappeared now...

Is Tats still around?

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 06:53:59 AM  
YoggiSothoth: Occam's Chainsaw: you're trying too hard

I tried a new tactic. I think it was fun. Total in-your-face obnoxious. I don't think anyone has done it to the level that I did it in this thread. Then again, I could be wrong ... but I want a source to disprove me :D


It's an apolitical RLSM shtick. Insult opponent, ignore argument, spam as hard and fast as you humanly can. You're even finishing out with smileys now.

/It's all been dooooooone befoooooore!
//If I put my fingers here...

 
LonMead 2008-05-25 06:54:11 AM  
YoggiSothoth: Silly? Yes. True and exact as well? Yes not even a little bit.

Oh, and again, thanks for the reply *deep bow*. Apparently, someone cares about my opinion so much that they have to respond to it to tell me that they don't care about my opinion. I have a 101 Logic book if you want to borrow it. I want it back, but I suspect you're an amoral thief.


Please don't confuse caring with amusement, with just a touch of sadness that someone actually enjoys people hating him. I mean, why bother?

...allow me to show you some of my girlfriends that would blow away anything you were even were next to.

Yeah, I remember when I had my imaginary friends, too. Then I went to kindergarten.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-25 06:59:42 AM  
LonMead: Yeah, I remember when I had my imaginary friends, too. Then I went to kindergarten.

...and from then on, you had no friends.

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 07:00:25 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: You're even finishing out with smileys now.

:(

 
YoggiSothoth 2008-05-25 07:01:19 AM  
LonMead: Yeah, I remember when I had my imaginary friends, too. Then I went to kindergarten.

And never graded thereafter. I know, it was a tough grade. :D :D :D

 
Wonko Fortytwo 2008-05-25 07:01:51 AM  
I wonder how many FARKers have multiple accounts so they can argue with themselves and stir shiat up.

Where is TruBaptistDoucheNozzle? Or Bevets even?

/MultipleFarkHandleDisorder
//Beer Volcano bound

 
BorgDrone 2008-05-25 07:03:46 AM  
YoggiSothoth: BorgDrone: Religion doesn't deserve respect.

Never said religion deserves respect per se. I was (in my best trolling effort) maintaining that if you want to be decent, you shouldn't shiat on another person's religion, like farkers constantly do. (...)


Why not ? Religion is absurdly stupid, immoral and a disease the human race needs to get rid of. You confuse being disrespectful towards a religion with being disrespectful to a person.

Some religious people need to be shat on, but most are decent people, they just happen to be the victims of the disease that is religion.

 
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