It's like they're in a competition with themselves to outdo what they did last week...

how stupid is this?

Perfect use of "Nanny State".

Pine needles are god's punishment for walking barefoot outside. And cutting down the tree would make baby jesus cry.

Baby jesus > precious snowflakes.

A Farker will be along to justify this...

my god these people are weak. dont they realize that they are only making more soft handed men in the world that cant tell their ass from a hole in their head.

Actually its an entire generation of softies....worthless



/never having children
//because i love them so much that i wont subject them to this shiat hole known as Society.

The fark is wrong with those people?

'Every effort is made in this day and age to prevent children playing with discarded syringe needles,' a report stated.

'Every effort must be made to prevent children coming into contact with these potentially, equally sharp needles.'

That's a joke, right? Right?

Jesus Christ.

Way to miss the point, guy quoted in article. The reason we don't let children play with syringes is because of the farking diseases they could get from a used needle. It has nothing to do with how sharp they are.

Gravyguts: my god these people are weak. dont they realize that they are only making more soft handed men in the world that cant tell their ass from a hole in their head.

My guess is that in another 40 years, even the French will have someone that they can defeat militarily.

I'd like to meet the people who are doing this, and put a HIV infected syringe in their eye socket. Now THAT is dangerous!

clancifer: Perfect use of "Nanny State".


One expert likened the effect of the needles to being pricked by a hypodermic syringe.

'Every effort is made in this day and age to prevent children playing with discarded syringe needles,' a report stated.

'Every effort must be made to prevent children coming into contact with these potentially, equally sharp needles.'


After reviewing the footage, the Nanny State cliche stands.



First down!

At first I didn't care as the headline said "Chilean Pine" but then I found out the tree in question is a Monkey Puzzle one and I just snapped. That's my favorite tree bung holes!

One expert likened the effect of the needles to being pricked by a hypodermic syringe.

'Every effort is made in this day and age to prevent children playing with discarded syringe needles,' a report stated.

Except for that part about the needles not being used to shoot up drugs, yeah it is pretty similar.

I wonder how much it would cost to rubbercoat the entire british isles...

I think it's time for fark.dailymail.co.uk ... Fark is already their biggest "branch office". It's chained like Leia to Jabba.

Roses have thorns. Thorns are sharp. JUST LIKE HYPODERMIC SYRINGES!!!!ZOMG GET RID OF ROSES!!!!!111eleven

Pardon me while I recycle my comment from an earlier thread:

Every time that I start thinking that America is irretrievably screwed up, along comes the Daily Mail to remind me that the U.K. is worse.

Schlemiel: I wonder how much it would cost to rubbercoat the entire british isles...

Probably too much. Better to encapsulate ever child at birth in bulletproof, fireproof, shock-absorbing, space-age rubber alloys. Then the parents can just roll them around till they're about 35.

in twenty years I'm going to invade the British Isles armed with a squirt gun and a plastic butter knife.

A week later, I'll be the King of England.

peese help me birdish pippls.
I leave in tscon aridzione and katkus neefles are beeing l0ng and pionty. peese sending in thu pounds!!

FTA
Every effort must be made to prevent children coming into contact with these potentially, equally sharp needles.

Has no one thought of putting up a fence around the tree, just high enough that the precious little snowflakes can't climb it and get hurt by a tree?

Or better yet, parental responsibility...
"Johnny Bad Teeth, if you touch that tree you'll get hurt. I'm not joking"
"Mom I touched the tree, I got hurt"
"What did I tell you, dont touch the farking tree!"

Thats how my parents did it
"Don't touch the stove when the element is on"
*Screaming*
"What did you do?"
"I touched the element"
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes"
"Didn't I tell you not to touch it?"
"Yes"
"Are you going to touch it again?"
"No"

Surprisingly, this is like other conversations I've had about touching things.

MUST NOT POKE IN EYE, MUST NOT POKE IN EYE, CANT RESIST, SAVE ME GOVERNMENT !!!

Wont someone think of the children ?

unholycode76: Schlemiel: I wonder how much it would cost to rubbercoat the entire british isles...

Probably too much. Better to encapsulate ever child at birth in bulletproof, fireproof, shock-absorbing, space-age rubber alloys. Then the parents can just roll them around till they're about 35.


Young children are very sensitive to airborne diseases. That is why you should keep them in sealed plastic bags.

Give it a few years we won't have to worry about the precious childrens.

So for how many years were children playing around the tree? And why is it now a health concern.

And here in the US we chop down entire forests of old growth lumber just to feed the insatiable hunger of mega corporate home builders. I think this is a reasonable precaution to the public safety and should be lauded instead of scorned.

Sh0nuff: And here in the US we chop down entire forests of old growth lumber just to feed the insatiable hunger of mega corporate home builders. I think this is a reasonable precaution to the public safety and should be lauded instead of scorned.

Passable trolling, I'd give it 6/10. Maybe a little bit too subtle.

Buzzvert: Hear, hear.

I wonder: if the Tories win the next general elections, will the Daily Wail realize that everything's gonna be the same under Cameron? Or if they'll just shut up because they're a Conservative mouthpiece.

/Freeper State? I think not.

Cybernetic Quote 2008-05-24 11:34:00 AM
Pardon me while I recycle my comment from an earlier thread:

Every time that I start thinking that America is irretrievably screwed up, along comes the Daily Mail to remind me that the U.K. is worse.

As a proud and patriotic Briton, I ought to take umbrage at that remark. Unfortunately I can't, because its probably true.

Cybernetic: along comes the Daily Mail to remind me that the U.K. is worse.

What I like about all Fark's Daily Mail links is going to find out what the actual story is. Here, for example, are some salient facts from the icWales version::

One expert hired by Swansea Council which is considering chopping down the 150-year-old tree claims spines on cones from the monkey puzzle are as sharp as "syringe needles". ... The report also warns the council could be held liable if anyone was hurt by falling needles. ... It is on the site of Swansea's new Welsh-medium school, at West Cross Lane, which is due to open in a few months.

The future of the West Cross monkey puzzle tree will reach a crisis point in June when Swansea's planning committee will consider evidence from people on both sides of the argument.

So just a few things conveniently omitted from the Mail's version:
i) It's in school grounds, and the council prime concern is that they are afraid of getting sued.
ii) The opinions cited are not those of the council, but of one "expert" they consulted (who's area of expertise is unstated, but is probably a lawyer).
iii) No decision has been made, or will be, for a month. And everyone will be allowed to give their opinions before any decision is made.

Daily Mail journalist are massively dishonest with a "we're all going to hell in a handcart agenda". That's probably worth remembering.

Thank god we have a Nanny State Outrage article today. I was getting worried.

150 years old, not 150 ft.

/sigh

More government please

The Daily Mail MANUFACTURES these stories. They imagine up a non-issue, put some clever wordplay around it, then PAY a couple pseudo-experts for quotes and a couple "outraged" people to shill as a mouthpiece.

The Daily Mail is to British social issues what the Weekly World News was to American conspiracy theories.

/I miss Bat Boy and Ed Anger.

Better ban water while you're at it. Some stupid dickpuss could all too easily drown.

Mostly I just want to kill myself, but every now and then something comes along to make things a little less horrible.

It's called a monkey puzzle tree.

/awesome.

Just for the sake of reading comprehension... The tree is 50 feet tall, and ~150 years old. If cut down, i think it's the responsibility of the last few remaining Brits with testicles to throw a pile of syringes on the ground where the tree used to be, once a month or so.

This story brought to you by Bubble Wrap™. Nom pop nom.

I love the UK.... makes the shiat we do here in America seem a lot less shiatty.

Fellow Farkers in the UK, if you really get tired of that shiat, take a hint from history books, circa 1775.

Sissy tree,

meet the Honey Locust

RoxtarRyan: Fellow Farkers in the UK, if you really get tired of that shiat, take a hint from history books, circa 1775.

It's the Daily Mail. That means IT'S NOT TRUE. It's like Fox News for people who can read.

Bakeroo: Buzzvert: Hear, hear.

I wonder: if the Tories win the next general elections, will the Daily Wail realize that everything's gonna be the same under Cameron? Or if they'll just shut up because they're a Conservative mouthpiece.

/Freeper State? I think not.

I think they'll shut up and the Daily Mirror will start biatching. Although I could be wrong, the Mail does luuurve biatching.

I bet people will come up whining that the falling tree could hurt somebody and it would leave them all confused.

These can't be the same people who had a world-wide empire once. I mean seriously, didn't these guys fight the Zulus a while back?

AliasUndercover: These can't be the same people who had a world-wide empire once. I mean seriously, didn't these guys fight the Zulus a while back?

And got their asses handed to 'em because they wanted too much money for tea. Yep, same guys.

swahnhennessy: Thank god we have a Nanny State Outrage article today. I was getting worried.

Actions like this, and people who support them, deserve to be mercilessly ridiculed at every turn.

As usual, The Onion^ was ahead of its time.

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Actions like this,

What actions would they be?

And the Nanny State continues to run amok

/hums "amok, amok, amok"
//obscure?

Creepy. He hasn't aged a single day. He must have just gotten off of the mothership last week.

Is it possible the Brits can get any more pussified? Granted we Americans are right on their tails, but come on. At least we can still give free guns away with cars.