"McCain's most recent exams show a range of health issues common in aging: He frequently has precancerous skin lesions removed, and in February had an early stage squamous cell carcinoma, an easily cured skin cancer, removed. He had benign colon growths called polyps taken out during a routine colonoscopy in March."

Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

The way they phrase it as "an easily cured skin cancer" is a little mis-leading...

Isn't that just like saying he had just a touch of AIDS sniffles?

The dude is as cancer ridden as Kentucky Fried Chicken food lab rat.

If Hill or Obama or even W had CANCER removed within the past few months, this would be some big news-- even if it's just cancer-sniffles.

Cancer is kinda one of those things you're kind of committed to.

Just like in breakfast, where the Chicken is dedicated to the EGG but the Pig is COMMITTED to the BACON, McCain might as well go around snorting Sweet'n Low packets and spoon feeding himself mounds of MSG.

The dude's a petri-dish

RogerDodger: Cancer is kinda one of those things you're kind of committed to.

Not always. Cancer and I broke up, and so far, I haven't seen a trace of him.

I have a restraining order.

Not to mention his high cholesterol and chronic Cranium in Anus condition.

RogerDodger: Cancer is kinda one of those things you're kind of committed to.

I dunno - lots of people function for years with mild forms of cancer. I am more interested in what cocktail of prescription drugs he is on.

I'm not so worried that he is going to croak in office. Anybody can die suddenly. Its the crazy ass things he says^ that worry me.

Reporter: "Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?"

Mr. McCain: "Well I think it's a combination. The guy I really respect on this is Dr. Coburn. He believes - and I was just reading the thing he wrote- that you should do what you can to encourage abstinence where there is going to be sexual activity. Where that doesn't succeed, than he thinks that we should employ contraceptives as well. But I agree with him that the first priority is on abstinence. I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I'm not very wise on it."

(Mr. McCain turns to take a question on Iraq, but a moment later looks back to the reporter who asked him about AIDS.)

Mr. McCain: "I haven't thought about it. Before I give you an answer, let me think about. Let me think about it a little bit because I never got a question about it before. I don't know if I would use taxpayers' money for it."

Q: "What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush's policy, which is just abstinence?"

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) "Ahhh. I think I support the president's policy."

Q: "So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?"

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) "You've stumped me."

Q: "I mean, I think you'd probably agree it probably does help stop it?"

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) "Are we on the Straight Talk express? I'm not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I'm sure I've taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception - I'm sure I'm opposed to government spending on it, I'm sure I support the president's policies on it."

Q: "But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: 'No, we're not going to distribute them,' knowing that?"

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) "Get me Coburn's thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn's paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I've never gotten into these issues before."

This went on for a few more moments until a reporter from the Chicago Tribune broke in and asked Mr. McCain about the weight of a pig that he saw at the Iowa State Fair last year.

what_now: I have a restraining order.

congrats!

I'm more concerned with his mental state than his physical state. And apparently the public isn't allowed to know about that.

Great.

Didn't Reagan have those?

quickdraw: what_now: I have a restraining order.

congrats!

Wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, but I must admit I did laugh at the headline. Nice one.

what_now: RogerDodger: Cancer is kinda one of those things you're kind of committed to.

Not always. Cancer and I broke up, and so far, I haven't seen a trace of him.

I have a restraining order.

I bet you are still nervous about finding him hiding in the shrubbery.

EvilEgg:

I bet you are still nervous about finding him hiding in the shrubbery.

Well, that's not where he was before, but I DO get regular pap smears...

redqueenmeg: Didn't Reagan have those?

And, just like Reagan, his doctors are issuing "He's FINE! He's in GREAT health! He's fit like a man half his age!!" reports like this one.

And, just like Reagan, they'll probably all sheepishly admit that he had a variety of physical and mental ailments that were increasingly hard to cover up over time. Of course, like Reagan, these revelations will only be made after he's left office or he's dead.

Polyps?

RogerDodger: Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

A carcinoma? Not really. If it were a melanoma, I'd be more worried. Those can metastasize to the lymph nodes if not caught early and then you're pretty much farked.

Yeah, plenty of folks survive lesser forms of cancer, I believe...

Hell, my grandmother lived 15 years after she developed cancer and the Docs said she had maybe a "year or two" to live.

I do think the pressures of the presidency would take a heavy toll on the health of someone of McCain's age, but my objections to McCain aren't because of his health issues.

Still good info to have on a candidate, I would say.

Nabb1: RogerDodger: Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

A carcinoma? Not really. If it were a melanoma, I'd be more worried. Those can metastasize to the lymph nodes if not caught early and then you're pretty much farked.

I had squamous-cell carcinoma on my tongue. They found it had spread to my neck lymph nodes within 3 months. Bad thing is, there's not much they can do. Radiate the shiat out of it, and give you the horribly nastiness that is Cisplatin.

Oh the skin in many places, you've got a good shot. On your skin on others? Not so much. My SSC has a 60% survival rate. 40% of us die.

I think this is relevant news.

palladiate: I had squamous-cell carcinoma on my tongue. They found it had spread to my neck lymph nodes within 3 months. Bad thing is, there's not much they can do. Radiate the shiat out of it, and give you the horribly nastiness that is Cisplatin.

Oh the skin in many places, you've got a good shot. On your skin on others? Not so much. My SSC has a 60% survival rate. 40% of us die.

I think this is relevant news.

Wow. I sincerely hope you fall squarely in the 60% range.

Fark just needs to declare for Obama and stop pretending.

/voting Obama

Nabb1: Wow. I sincerely hope you fall squarely in the 60% range.

I have for the last year and a half. A few more months and I'll get another PET scan. If it doesn't show up then, I should be clear.

I had no risk factors going in (smoking, chewing, binge drinking), but the biopsy and study showed I had the oncogenes left by HPV-16.

Our survival rate may be higher. We don't know because the first studies have started just a few years ago. So even if I die, the study I was in will at least get the benefit of knowledge.

But this is what, the 5th or 6th time McCain has gone in for cancer surgery? The man cannot be too much longer for the world.

WTF is going on with his cheek, though--does anybody know? In every picture of him over the last few months, he looks like he's carrying a big chaw of chewing tobacco on the left side of his mouth. For example, here he is yesterday:



That's a recent thing--he didn't look like that a few years ago:



Has anybody heard any explanation of what's up with that? If it's been mentioned, I must have missed it.

Cyberluddite: Has anybody heard any explanation of what's up with that? If it's been mentioned, I must have missed it.

I brought this up in a thread once, making a joke that he looked like he was storing acorns for winter. Someone pointed out to me that it was due to skin cancer (I think - whatever it was, it was bad.) Then I felt like a douche.

quickdraw: This went on for a few more moments until a reporter from the Chicago Tribune broke in and asked Mr. McCain about the weight of a pig that he saw at the Iowa State Fair last year.

Whew. Finally enough with that AIDS stuff and more onto actual pressing news. Thanks Chicago Tribune!

quickdraw: Q: "So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?"

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) "You've stumped me."

palladiate:

I had squamous-cell carcinoma on my tongue. They found it had spread to my neck lymph nodes within 3 months. Bad thing is, there's not much they can do. Radiate the shiat out of it, and give you the horribly nastiness that is Cisplatin.

Oh the skin in many places, you've got a good shot. On your skin on others? Not so much. My SSC has a 60% survival rate. 40% of us die.

I think this is relevant news.

Didn't know. How was the radiation? My cousin went through cancer of the tongue and had a pretty tough time. Hope you are in the 60% part of the equation.

But I didn't think the cancer on his head and arms was that worrisome. My dad has had quite a few removed and if you keep a close watch I thought they weren't dangerous. At least I hope not!

Cyberluddite: WTF is going on with his cheek, though--does anybody know? In every picture of him over the last few months, he looks like he's carrying a big chaw of chewing tobacco on the left side of his mouth.

"When I was a kid, I used to walk around all day with crab apples in my cheeks. One in each cheek."
"Why?"
"Because they're better than horse chestnuts. When I couldn't get crab apples, I used horse chestnuts. Horse chestnuts are about the same size as crab apples and actually have a better shape, although the shape doesn't matter a bit."
"Why did you walk around with crab apples in your cheeks? That's what I asked."
"Because they've got a better shape than horse chestnuts. I just told you that."
"Why, you evil-eyed, mechanically-aptituded, disaffiliated son of a biatch, did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?"
"I didn't walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around with crab apples in my cheeks. . . ."

Dude, he has cancer. In his ass. The fact that he has to be checked every few months for cancerous tumors is not a good thing.

GAT_00: Dude, he has cancer. In his ass.

He had polyps removed. Not cancer.

As McCain's childhood friend Ari remarked: Man is by nature a polyptical animal.

ExJerseyGirl: GAT_00: Dude, he has cancer. In his ass.

He had polyps removed. Not cancer.

He was going to have cancer. In his ass.

quickdraw: Its the crazy ass things he says^ that worry me.

Wow. that's pretty nuts. Dementia setting in?

Never, and I mean NEVER, do a GIS for "polyp." It's life-changing.

RogerDodger: Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

We can tell.

You don't know a whole lot about cancer do you?

The republicans should nominate a McCain/Obama ticket and the dems a Obama/McCain ticket, it would make everyone happy and end the charade of a two party system in one shot!

I'm married to a Cancer, so I'm really getting a kick out of some of these replies.

Headso: The republicans should nominate a McCain/Obama ticket and the dems a Obama/McCain ticket, it would make everyone happy and end the charade of a two party system in one shot!

What about the "Polyp/Muslim" ticket? Then we can also eliminate any future thought of journalistic standards or concern for actual issues.

In a country where a President who's brain was most likely turning into Swiss cheese during his second term is deified, this is not a good angle of attack.

He also takes drugs for high cholesterol levels and occasionally has benign polyps removed from his colon.

Just occasionally....when he's bored and has nothing else to do.

tweekster: RogerDodger: Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

We can tell.

You don't know a whole lot about cancer do you?

Well, it's definitly not Lupus.

phlegmmo: He also takes drugs for high cholesterol levels and occasionally has benign polyps removed from his colon.

Just occasionally....when he's bored and has nothing else to do.

Huh. I guess I've been doing my Tuesday nights wrong....

Before



After

jhum101: tweekster: RogerDodger: Ok, I'm no House, but the fact he had CANCER THREE MONTHS AGO doesn't seem to strike anyone as a major finding??

We can tell.

You don't know a whole lot about cancer do you?

Well, it's definitly not Lupus.

Can we atleast yell at mccain for getting cancer?

Anybody else notice the non-specificness of the doctor's quote?

"I do not see any worrisome lesions"

Does that mean that the lesions she sees are not "worrisome"? Friendly, cheerful lesions?

Ew.

Are they going to be revealing Hillary's OBGYN data? (I HOPE NOT) What happened to HIPAA?

jakomo002: Does that mean that the lesions she sees are not "worrisome"? Friendly, cheerful lesions?

They're French, foreign lesions.

Guy reminds me of Bob Dole. He's going to get spanked by Obama.

subby: McCain has polyps in his colon, apparently the result of too much speaking from that part of his body.

So there is not much difference between him and Democrats. Thanks, got it.

BKITU:
phlegmmo: He also takes drugs for high cholesterol levels and occasionally has benign polyps removed from his colon.

Just occasionally....when he's bored and has nothing else to do.

Huh. I guess I've been doing my Tuesday nights wrong....

*snicker*

ExJerseyGirl: quickdraw: Its the crazy ass things he says^ that worry me.

Wow. that's pretty nuts. Dementia setting in?

Nah, it's just being a politician. He was actually normal on these issues before he started licking evangelicals' taints. Therefore he's confused because he knows you need contraception, but he just can't figure out how to talk his way out of the question without admitting or denying anything.

McCain is probably in better shape than anyone on Fark (including me). I guarantee he's been through more as well. Fark polyps, this guy's hard as granite and has the looks to prove it.

MacEnvy: I'm more concerned with his mental state than his physical state. And apparently the public isn't allowed to know about that.

Great.

I see them both as equally important. Look at Bush (all politics aside for the moment): he looks like he aged 30 years in the past 8 years. Being president probably kicks the crap out of your health.

We won't know all the facts about McCain's health until its proven that he can't run for president in 2012 or he loses 2008. Then people won't have anything to lose by showing his entire health analysis and it can't be used as a negative to hurt his campaign.