The World's Newest Shatner has Boobs!

Unfortunately, a CD cannot be pouty, supple, fleshy, voluptuous and intelligent.

Sorry Scarlett

mysticcat: Unfortunately, a CD cannot be pouty, supple, fleshy, voluptuous and intelligent.

Sorry Scarlett

I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

Telly Savalas
William Shatner
Leonard Nimoy
Don Johnson
Bruce Willis
David Hasselhoff
Brent Spiner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

Boritom: mysticcat: Unfortunately, a CD cannot be pouty, supple, fleshy, voluptuous and intelligent.

Sorry Scarlett

I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

Telly Savalas
William Shatner
Leonard Nimoy
Don Johnson
Bruce Willis
David Hasselhoff
Brent Spiner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

Lindsey Lohan
Paris Hilton
Jennifer Love Hewitt....

mysticcat: Unfortunately, a CD cannot be pouty, supple, fleshy, voluptuous and intelligent.

So I guess you're a vinyl junkie, eh?

[ ] Telly Savalas
[ ] William Shatner
[ ] Leonard Nimoy
[x] Don Johnson
[x] Bruce Willis
[x] David Hasselhoff
[ ] Brent Spiner
[x] Katey Sagal

Yep. The 80's were awesome!

Seven posts and no pics? Fail.

It could be worse. (new window)

Why are Farkers so fascinated by Scarlett Johansson? She is pretty but not beautiful. What if she is a biatch and has a real mean personality? Would you still want to give it to her hard or would you tell her to fark off?

MBA Whore:

1/10

MBA Whore: What if she is a biatch and has a real mean personality? Would you still want to give it to her hard or would you tell her to fark off?

I'd give it to her hard, then I would tell her to fark off. This doesn't have to be an "either-or" question, you know.

Personally I can't Waits to cover those CDs with my own special remix...

idsfa: Decide for yourself

Thankfully, that's the only part of her that's flat.

It's a celebrity album.
It's not really good.
It's for the hardcore fans.
It's to cash in a little.
It's nothing new.

Sorry, but she's no Milla Jovovich.

It's ok, but it's no party (new window)

butterface

why the fark are there no pictures in this thread

I happen to agree with the critics here. It sounds like she's clumsily shouting into the microphone so they just turned the volume way down on her and way up on the synthesizer to make up for it.

There's nothing likable about her when you can't see her boobs.

it's not bad, not great, there's a bunch of vocals that sound like this ...

i'll get tarred and feathered for saying so, but she sounds SORT OF like Kim from Sonic Youth. SORT OF ...

That or Patty Smith or something? You know, that talking, drawn out, speaking/sining thing.

Kind of weird, but I've heard FAR worse.

I only listened to it for like 20 seconds though. I got distracted. meh.

Link (new window) Tom's original.

Mofo_Jones: It's ok, but it's no party (new window)

Put yo' phones on

/That's Eddie Murphy Rick James biatch!

I might buy it only for the fact that Tv on the Radio's Dave Sitek produced it.

/Desperate Youths and Bloodthirsty Babes is a great EP.

I'm digging the fark out of it.

I mean, seriously. A hardcore dreampop collection of Tom Waits songs? With Bowie on backing?

Been on repeat for a couple days now. And I'm really, really liking it. Track 3 is teh awesome.

Next she should cover Ian Dury and call it New Boobs and Panties. I'd buy that for a dollar.

From the article:

Johansson's latest film, Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," premiered at the Cannes film festival in France on Saturday. The 23-year-old actress, who did not attend the festival, plays a lovelorn American tourist in Japan Spain.

That sounds fresh and original!

She sings like Nico, if Nico had learned to sing. On this record, anyway..

In case you never heard her version of "Summertime", trust me, she can actually sing. And even if her vocal style on this record weren't intentional, it'd still work damn well.

MikoSquiz: She sings like Nico, if Nico had learned to sing. On this record, anyway..

In case you never heard her version of "Summertime", trust me, she can actually sing. And even if her vocal style on this record weren't intentional, it'd still work damn well.

I can see Nico, but I get a way huge Elisabeth Fraiser/Helen Marnie vibe off her, myself.

I dunno. I give her props because her voice really fits the style she chose. It's believable. I'd listen to it if it was just an album from some shoegaze/dreampop band. And that's impressive, as when I heard she put out an album I groaned and couldn't wait to see her shaking her ass on MTV to some Fergie clone.

Give her 20 years.

Boritom: I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

William Shatner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

HAS BEEN. Great farking album.

Bukharin: Boritom: I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

William Shatner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

HAS BEEN. Great farking album.

He's awesome live too. When I saw Ben Folds in 2002 or 2003 he popped out and did 2 or 3 songs. It was ridiculous. All of us sensitive nerds went crazy.

Boritom:I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

Telly Savalas
William Shatner
Leonard Nimoy
Don Johnson
Bruce Willis
David Hasselhoff
Brent Spiner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

Wait a tick, Brent Spiner has an album? Brent "Data" Spiner?

I think the lesson to learn from that list is that Star Trek actors should avoid singing.

Fluffball:

Wait a tick, Brent Spiner has an album? Brent "Data" Spiner?

I think the lesson to learn from that list is that Star Trek actors should avoid singing.

Yep, titled, "Ol' Yellow Eyes is Back". No, I'm not kidding.

Boritom: The main problem with your list is that it consists of men and not women.

I came to make the common people is awesome comment which has been done.

I also came to make the party all the time is awesome comment which has been done.

I still have this (new window) up my sleeve, Zooey Deschanel of She & Him on Conan.

I like a lot of the CD and the fact that it will piss off Tom Waits fans, the better.

/likes Tom Waits

FreeLoveFreeway: Give her 20 years.

Are you kidding? I'd hit that in a heartbeat. Give yourself 20 years.

Joe Moneybags McBigCock: FreeLoveFreeway: Give her 20 years.

Are you kidding? I'd hit that in a heartbeat. Give yourself 20 years.

Bravo!

Definitely a modest D.

I'm a big Tom Waits fan, and a big fan of ethereal music in the vein of the Cocteau Twins and such. And Scarlett Johansson is a good actress, and pretty to look at. But this CD just is not very good at all. Someone above mentioned Nico, but seriously, Nico exuded more emotion in her flat Teutonic vocals than Johansson achieves here. The whole album plays like one long monotonous dirge.

Mad_Radhu: Sorry, but she's no Milla Jovovich.

The Divine Comedy was an excellent album, and a prime example of an actor putting limited vocal skills to good use by being quirky, rather than flat and boring.

Bukharin: HAS BEEN. Great farking album.

See above.

Bhasayate: i'll get tarred and feathered for saying so, but she sounds SORT OF like Kim from Sonic Youth. SORT OF ...

Sonic Youth are experimental and brilliant. Scarlett is a pampered moron thats not half as good looking as everyone claims, and has the talent of a soggy cheeto. Can we please have actresses that are good looking AND can act?

So terrible. So disgraceful. Worse than I thought.

Gotta love Mr. Waits though.
press conference from last month... watch it until the end (new window)

emptykay:
Gotta love Mr. Waits though.
press conference from last month... watch it until the end (new window)

God, that was great. Thanks for that.

bighasbeen: Bukharin: Boritom: I'd normally be willing to give it a listen, but I learned my lesson a long time ago...

William Shatner

That's a playlist of FAIL one never recovers from.

HAS BEEN. Great farking album.

He's awesome live too. When I saw Ben Folds in 2002 or 2003 he popped out and did 2 or 3 songs. It was ridiculous. All of us sensitive nerds went crazy.

The Shat's guest appearance on "Fear of Pop, Vol. 1" was dynamite. A great album, that.

emptykay: So terrible. So disgraceful. Worse than I thought.

Gotta love Mr. Waits though.
press conference from last month... watch it until the end (new window)

Awesome. But his map has Atlanta in the totally wrong place. For the sake of the constellation obviously.

Not knockin' her at all with this comment, but that a woman so thin can be called 'voluptuous' ...

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

It's not great but she has potential. Maybe with some voice training and cutting out the cig's (if she smokes) her voice may improve. I like it. Her voice is shaky, but those things can be improved upon. This is her first attempt after all.

At least it shows she has a flair for the artistic as opposed to her contemporaries. She didn't choose the obvious route of trying to appeal to all the tweeners by singing along with hip-hop, dance music.

Bukharin: HAS BEEN. Great farking album.

I can't get behind that.