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(BBC) Hero Former soldier leaves internet cafe, saves cop from rioting mob, rescues man from canal, carries another guy to an ambulance, chases off two guys looting a police van, polishes giant brass balls   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 146
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Xaxor [TotalFark] 2008-05-17 08:40:35 PM  
Holy shiat! This guy definitely deserves the tag, while the assholes he dealt with deserve a new tag: "Uber-Douchebag"

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-05-17 10:51:49 PM  
The Aristocrats!

Guy totally deserves the hero tag.

 
Wil_Mahfingahdo 2008-05-18 12:20:53 AM  
Aaaand that about covers all there is to say on this one. Thank you and good night!

 
Because People in power are Stupid 2008-05-18 02:36:40 AM  
He left an internet cafe? He could have had a similar experience albeit a virtual one -through the magic of the interwebs.

/I save 100's of virtual cops lives everyday through the power of the interwebs.

 
Macphearsome 2008-05-18 02:50:10 AM  
it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over.

like, seriously.

 
signine 2008-05-18 02:50:14 AM  
Indeed sir, your balls are huge and brass.

Good to know there are still people like this around that get recognized every once in awhile.

 
HOPWhiteyFord 2008-05-18 02:50:23 AM  
I don't think he deserves the hero tag, I think a new tag should be made, a "super" hero tag if you will. The tag would just plainly say "Bardsley" as the man has already made enough of a name for himself to be known as a "super"hero.
Or we need to photoshop a unitard and cape onto him. . . either or.

 
RoyBatty 2008-05-18 02:51:20 AM  
Iraq? Gaza? Beirut? Stupid farking ragheads. DRTFA.

 
stevo_ownz 2008-05-18 02:52:29 AM  
Of course they were Rangers fans.



/ CFC > Glasgow

 
phillydrifter 2008-05-18 02:54:36 AM  
Ta da!

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-05-18 02:55:06 AM  
img301.imageshack.us

/approves of the soldier
//does not approve of the Ranger fans

 
TheDeathMerchant 2008-05-18 03:00:00 AM  
Macphearsome: it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over.

like, seriously.


Also notably important enough to hurt a cop. I mean hell, in chicago it's not unbelieve to hear about a sox fan taking a swing at a cubs fan during the cross-town. But its not like the Rangers lost to the bloody cops, people are savages.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-18 03:02:57 AM  
TheDeathMerchant: ...people are savages.

Yup, pretty much. Helps you sleep at night when you realize that man is separated by the thinnest of hairs from hooting challenges at other males and flinging feces, don't it?

 
ultraholland 2008-05-18 03:03:17 AM  
Brass balls? I doubt he was a senior commanding officer.

 
ill_83 [TotalFark] 2008-05-18 03:05:18 AM  
TheDeathMerchant: Macphearsome: it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over.

like, seriously.

Also notably important enough to hurt a cop. I mean hell, in chicago it's not unbelieve to hear about a sox cubs fan taking a swing at a cubs fan during the cross-town. But its not like the Rangers lost to the bloody cops, people are savages.


Fixed

 
saomai 2008-05-18 03:06:42 AM  
super hero

 
Bunnyhat 2008-05-18 03:07:05 AM  
Macphearsome: it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over.

like, seriously.



WTF. I mean really, its after every football match they have to riot over there. UK police need to be let off the leash for like one riot and just tear everyone up. Don't kill anyone, but tear them the fark up.

 
Sandwyrm 2008-05-18 03:07:17 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: TheDeathMerchant: ...people are savages.

Yup, pretty much. Helps you sleep at night when you realize that man is separated by the thinnest of hairs from hooting challenges at other males and flinging feces, don't it?


Scheiss, we aren't supposed to do that?

Well, damn... I got a lot of explaining to do then.

 
aspAddict 2008-05-18 03:07:19 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: Yup, pretty much. Helps you sleep at night when you realize that man is separated by the thinnest of hairs from hooting challenges at other males and flinging feces, don't it?

It amazes me at how little it takes to eliminate that fine line in some cases.

 
Desterion 2008-05-18 03:10:02 AM  
What a day eh?

 
TheOriginalEd 2008-05-18 03:16:27 AM  
former soldier? did he help an anti shinra group blow up a reactor then beat up his girlfriend and give sephiroth the black materia?

 
Harry Belly 2008-05-18 03:17:12 AM  
Bunnyhat Nope. Large scale football violence in the UK is now pretty rare. There has been a concerted effort since the 1980's to stamp it out. Same goes for racist chanting. If you want to see football violence then head to mainland Europe or South America.

 
Roger Arseways 2008-05-18 03:19:43 AM  
img442.imageshack.us

Ach! Yew call this a soccerrrr riot?

 
uprislng 2008-05-18 03:19:47 AM  
Bunnyhat: WTF. I mean really, its after every football match they have to riot over there. UK police need to be let off the leash for like one riot and just tear everyone up. Don't kill anyone, but tear them the fark up.

i was gonna say something similar to that. how does someone get that emotional over a sporting event? honestly. i like to watch sports, but i'm not going to beat my wife or destroy someone's property if my favorite team loses. what the hell is wrong with these people? don't they have internet porn?

 
Goopotato 2008-05-18 03:23:06 AM  
I can't help but read articles like this from England and wonder why they don't use the term "hooligans" more often.

I'm sure Bill Hicks would agree.

 
saintstryfe 2008-05-18 03:24:10 AM  
Former solider gets involved in a mob, swims, rescues people with an ambulance and chases down criminals.

Pictured below:

star.walagata.com

 
Harry Belly 2008-05-18 03:24:33 AM  
uprislng There were approximately 100k Glasgow Rangers fans in Manchester. I'd hazard a lot of them were drunk. Drunk people, crowd mentality = asshat behaviour. It happens everywhere.

 
Golf4Pooh 2008-05-18 03:28:33 AM  
over a SOCCER game????
good thing we here in the states don't do something as stupid as burn cars and riot after winning the World Series, NCAA title, NBA title...or such things like that !

 
Slugs_of_a_banana_nature 2008-05-18 03:29:03 AM  
Hmmm... ban the games for 10 years. When they're brought back, ban alcohol sales and consumption for 20 miles around the area of game play.

That'll teach 'em.

 
crazywisdom_uk 2008-05-18 03:30:29 AM  
They have a tendency to get very excited about football over here. Why, I'm not sure. That's why the government gets all nanny on them sometimes. They have to take this shiat into consideration. But other things that would send us raving into the streets, and the Brits are all "Meh".

/do not mistake them for the weak

 
haddie 2008-05-18 03:33:43 AM  
Slugs_of_a_banana_nature: Hmmm... ban the games for 10 years. When they're brought back, ban alcohol sales and consumption for 20 miles around the area of game play.

That'll teach 'em.


Capitalism scoffs at your silly remark.

 
JonBuck 2008-05-18 03:34:35 AM  
There are a at least a couple times in Roman history I can think of that rioting chariot fans almost caused an accidental revolution because the wrong team won the race.

 
Trik 2008-05-18 03:36:19 AM  
they need to fire on those crowds
and full auto
arrest survivors as they show up at hospitals
mandatory long prison terms
mandatory gelding so these asshats can't reproduce

 
El_Swino 2008-05-18 03:40:15 AM  
Sad, really. The Brits were the ones who coined the term "a whiff of grapeshot" to describe the solution to exactly this sort of problem...and now their police are reduced to running from an unarmed mob. Fire into one of these mobs once, create a stack of bodies and a river of blood, and the problem will go away for several generations at least.

 
El_Swino 2008-05-18 03:44:51 AM  
JonBuck: There are a at least a couple times in Roman history I can think of that rioting chariot fans almost caused an accidental revolution because the wrong team won the race.

You may be thinking of the Nika Riots. The Roman generals Belisarius and Narses solved the issue by killing 30,000 rioters. The correct response to a tricky problem.

 
Sandwyrm 2008-05-18 03:44:57 AM  
El_Swino: Sad, really. The Brits were the ones who coined the term "a whiff of grapeshot" to describe the solution to exactly this sort of problem...and now their police are reduced to running from an unarmed mob. Fire into one of these mobs once, create a stack of bodies and a river of blood, and the problem will go away for several generations at least.

... and in other threads farkers complain about a police state.

 
Harry Belly 2008-05-18 03:45:22 AM  
Ah, the Internet Tough Guys have arrived to administer virtual justice.
micropenis

 
Feral John 2008-05-18 03:52:12 AM  
Macphearsome: it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over.

like, seriously.


I've long believed that team spirit, school spirit, gang affiliation, political affiliation - yes even patriotism and that most holy of cows: (gasp) brand loyalty are all cut from the same cloth . . . mob mentality/tribal thinking.

Any time you feel like its "us against them", you're probably wrong about us and them.

When your brand loyalty leads you to believe that adorning your vehicle with an effigy of Calvin urinating is a good idea, it's gone too far.

 
Extra Virgin Palm Oil 2008-05-18 03:53:51 AM  
Sounds like this bloke's got way too much juice.
Is there any way we can cut his or his family's benefits?
Let's get some dirt. Parking tickets, whatever.

 
El_Swino 2008-05-18 03:55:47 AM  
Sandwyrm: ... and in other threads farkers complain about a police state.

Moral issues aside, it is an effective solution. Perhaps you have another?

 
Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox 2008-05-18 03:58:29 AM  
Macphearsome: it's unbelievable that some people think that organized sports are important enough to riot over watch.

 
DoNotSwallow 2008-05-18 03:59:39 AM  
KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.

GEORGE: That's unbelievable!

KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.

GEORGE: You ran?

KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."

GEORGE: Holy cow!

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " - knocked him out cold!

GEORGE: How could you do that?!

KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.

GEORGE: You're Batman.

KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.

JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?

KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!

GEORGE: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?

KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.

GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?

KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.

 
Harry Belly 2008-05-18 04:02:11 AM  
El_Swino
If you seriously want an answer then read up on how the British police have worked to target organised football violence over the past 20 years. Regarding the Manchester incident: nobody died. Plenty of people have been arrested and will be charged for their part in the disorder. Personally, I'm quite glad I don't live in a country where the police carry out mass killings.

 
qitty 2008-05-18 04:02:50 AM  
El_Swino: Sad, really. The Brits were the ones who coined the term "a whiff of grapeshot" to describe the solution to exactly this sort of problem...and now their police are reduced to running from an unarmed mob. Fire into one of these mobs once, create a stack of bodies and a river of blood, and the problem will go away for several generations at least.

You don't need a stack of bodies - but arm the police, give them the potential AND PERMISSION to use lethal force, and less idiots will present themselves to become body #1.

Right now, cops are an easy target. Hell, so are the citizens. Go ahead hooligans - what are they gonna do to you? Wag a finger? tch tch tch.. that'll teach you.

 
kenryoku_one 2008-05-18 04:04:58 AM  
El_Swino: Sad, really. The Brits were the ones who coined the term "a whiff of grapeshot" to describe the solution to exactly this sort of problem...

Actually that was Napoleon Bonaparte.

 
thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-05-18 04:06:53 AM  
El_Swino: JonBuck: There are a at least a couple times in Roman history I can think of that rioting chariot fans almost caused an accidental revolution because the wrong team won the race.

You may be thinking of the Nika Riots. The Roman generals Belisarius and Narses solved the issue by killing 30,000 rioters. The correct response to a tricky problem.


Maybe the Riot Act should be reinstated:

"Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the act made in the first year of King George, for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King!"

 
clarkcox3 2008-05-18 04:08:03 AM  
I've never understood how people can get violent over a sporting event. Is your brain so small that you can't see the difference between cheering for your team, and beating up random strangers?

/Please spay and neuter your sport hooligans

 
El_Swino 2008-05-18 04:11:42 AM  
Harry Belly: If you seriously want an answer then read up on how the British police have worked to target organised football violence over the past 20 years.

And the evidence of how well that has worked is right in front of us. Perhaps you'd like to suggest an effective solution?

Personally, I'm quite glad I don't live in a country where the police carry out mass killings.

As am I. On the other hand, I live in a society where animals in human form don't run rampant through the streets at the slightest provocation. Maybe you should consider moving to a more civilized country, and together we'll watch as the Third-Worlders bash each other to death.

 
NanashiKnight 2008-05-18 04:13:15 AM  
Hero tag? Really? Since when is someone a hero, just for doing the right thing? That's like rewarding people who simply do what they are supposed to do. It's ridiculous how someone has praise lavished on them, just because they did what common sense would dictate.


/I'm kidding!

 
El_Swino 2008-05-18 04:14:18 AM  
kenryoku_one: Actually that was Napoleon Bonaparte.

My mistake about the term. It was the British who designed their colonial avenues nicely wide and straight so as to allow for clear fields of fire.

 
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