you gonna get throat raped.

Yeah. It said so in the first article.

That's deep. Did his throat got cleared?.

Better punctuation would have helped that headline.

Considering he managed to not kill himself, twice, he's one lucky farker. Especially since there's no mention of a mirror or medical training in TFA.

Has he not heard of steroids? They're cheap and usually keep the throat from closing up.

Yeah, seriously subby, I had to read the headline like five times to decipher what the hell you were talking about.

FTA:
But his doctor told him that he did a pretty good job on himself.

"I told him we should split the bill then," Wilder said.

Nice

Also has previous experience, getting kick out of these replies.

Joshg: Better punctuation would have helped that headline.

Fark eliminates !!! marks in headlines. Subby is an idiot who should've known this.

.

bargled:Fark eliminates !!! marks in headlines. Subby is an idiot who should've known this.

I didn't know this.

/not an idiot
//still thought the headline was a fail.

"Dr. said I need a tracheotomy!"

Why doesn't he just install a valve?

NYZooMan: Why doesn't he just install a valve?

Who wants a permanent valve when you can just poke yourself with a steak knife every couple of years?

It looks like somebody missed a period, subby.


Congratulations! Is it Fb-'s?

Sounds like Munchhausen syndrome to me.

Hilary Healthcare.

WrestlerManager


Too bad voting wasn't enabled...IMO you won this thread!

You know what, I think it's still pretty awesome. Granted, I'm not a big fan of stabbing myself in the throat.

If it is indeed allergies, this guy may want to consider MOVING to somewhere else.

/but who am I to be Captain Obvious?

bargled: Joshg: Better punctuation would have helped that headline.

Fark eliminates !!! marks in headlines. Subby is an idiot who should've known this.

Got him a Greenlight, funny how this place works, eh?

That headline sucks.

Jerry Garcia: "Dr. said I need a tracheotomy!"

Uh, the line is "backeotomy"...

/couldn't tell if you were misquoting on purpose

bargled: Fark eliminates !!! marks in headlines. Subby is an idiot who should've known this.

I had a greenlight once involving Greeks, and it ended in "Opa!" Of course, it was a measly "Opa" once the Fark filter took over, and I took some ribbing for it in TFT. :-)

/not subby here

I want that dude at my parties

I pulled a tooth once. A few too many beers and a couple shots of tequila and me and my needle nose pliers went into the bathroom to do the job. Hurt like a Mofo and bleed like crazy due to the booze. But in the end it was worth it because I was no longer in pain. I've stitched myself up too. Not so much fun with no novacaine I suppose I could also do an emergency tracheotomy on myself too. I've seen it done, and if I was no where near medical help I'd give it a shot. If a man can cut his trapped arm off with a pen knife and walk three miles fore help, I think I cam poke a hole in my neck. It's amazing what you can do when your ass ins on the line

Wow it took me a while to figure out that headline also. I thought someone named their kid Batman Turns.

I need a pen. Do you have a pen?

DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PEN?!

He's just desperate for attention.

1. Feeling ignored?
2. Self-tracheotomy
3. Bam! the intartubes loves you
4. Repeat every 2 years

Buy a farking EpiPen for fark's sake!

If this is a continual problem for him, why doesn't he just carry a rubber hose around with him? I'd rather have to stuff that down my throat every two years than have to take a steak knife to myself.

He needs one of those thingys that vintners use to pop open wine casks. Whatever it's called, you know, the little gizmo with the valve on the top.

Do you know who else learned how to perform an emergency tracheotomy?



Officer Eugene Tackleberry.

/"Police Academy II" FTW

With a steak knife, nonetheless

He should install a zipper!

I had Epiglottitis when I was 5 so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/Almost had a tracheotomy because of it. Almost.
//I think I have nerve damage from the experience (lack of oxygen). My hands shake slightly. Even when my blood sugar is normal.

"He's Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time...he's Tracheotomy MAN!"

--Leary goodness

took me 4 tries to understand the headline

Yeah, I'll be second to say it was clearly mentioned in the first article, and every first article that came out. Obviously this new source missed the boat the first time and had to play catch-up.

Well, as long as the subject came back up, let me ask my question.

I'm thinking he should have been prepared to shove some tubing down his windpipe if it's already happened once.

Can EMT's shove a breathing tube down his throat?

holy read the article in the first submission batman

The title of this submission is confusing.

Holey throat, Batman! Turns out that the man who performed a tracheotomy on himself has had previous experience

Fixed with one exclamation point.

Qwigs: The title of this submission is confusing.

Holey throat, Batman! Turns out that the man who performed a tracheotomy on himself has had previous experience

Fixed with one exclamation point.

Fark removes ! from headlines, see above.