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(CBS Philadelphia) Amusing The first rule of Cuddle Party is, you do not talk -- No wait, it's keep your pajamas on   (cbs3.com) divider line 209
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Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:21:35 PM  
This is probably the gheyest thing in the history ever. Instead of reading the article, go to the page's "hottest athletes" slideshow, complete with a Jennie Finch smuggling raisins pic. On a related note, I'd totally fark Brett Favre. Who knew?

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:34:21 PM  
The sad thing is that this is even needed. Hell, when I look at my life, I realize the last physical contact I've had was weeks ago when some salesman shook my hand as they tried to sell me stupid crap. I wonder how long many of us go without a simple hug.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:41:40 PM  
eddyatwork: I wonder how long many of us go without a simple hug.

If i'm lucky, another 6 months. I have a rather large 'buffer zone'. I don't like people getting close and personal. It makes me want to react violently.

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:45:29 PM  
Weaver95: It makes me want to react violently.

Look, I know you are prepared for the zombie invasion, but the simple truth of the matter is that most of the walking dead are just dumb. They vote party line, wear AberZOMBIE and Biatch, and listen to Hannah Montana. Put the shotgun down!

 
Chuck Wagon 2008-05-11 12:47:04 PM  
Why would anyone want a bunch of socially inpet people touching them?

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:53:11 PM  
Why do I suspect that there is some dry humping going on no matter what they say

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 01:22:57 PM  
Sure, that's how it starts. You have the girls over for a little cuddle party, just some comfort and a chance to unwind after a long week while the guys go off on one of their stupid poker nights, and one bottle of wine turns into two, and then the four of you are just lying around on the bed reading Cosmo and talking about how Frank can't find Sandy's g-spot, and Beth gives Sandy a playful little poke in the ribs, just a tease, and then Sandy tickles her back, and then Sarah and Susan jump in and it's a full-blown tickle fight, all breathy giggles and stifled gasps, and then Sarah accidentally bumps up against the shelf and that bottle of massage oil she didn't cap right the other night tips over and drizzles onto the back of her neck and stains her shirt, and she has to take it off, and there's a breathless, pregnant pause as the others stare hungrily at her perfect breasts, at the eraser points of her pink nipples poking up from beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, and then Beth eases up behind her and slides her hands over her shoulders and cups them, cups her breasts, holds them in her gentle hands and feels their softness and warmth, and the massage oil keeps pouring and now they're undressing each other, sliding their hands over the forbidden skin, slathering each other with slickness, and then there's a click and a hum and they look and see that Beth has taken out her vibrator, is licking its length with her soft tongue, moaning as she traces it up and down her belly and tickles her quivering skin, and they sigh and lie down together among the feather pillows in a slick, oily, writhing pile of flesh and mouths and soft, throat moans. Yeah, I know how it starts.

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 01:24:52 PM  
FAP!

 
Suicidal Writer 2008-05-11 01:31:30 PM  
The number one rule, pajamas stay on the whole time. This is a non-sexual event.

This sounds like my type of event. It'd be good to get away from those that can't exist outside of the sexual plane.

 
Laoise 2008-05-11 01:42:16 PM  
Fluff Girl: go to the page's "hottest athletes" slideshow

It almost lost me when I hit Jeter, but I kept going. Then it lost me again when it was 5 pictures in a row of just faces. Hot athletes and we show it by pictures of just their face? Fail.

 
robotwithglasses 2008-05-11 02:40:34 PM  
Laoise:
It almost lost me when I hit Jeter, but I kept going. Then it lost me again when it was 5 pictures in a row of just faces. Hot athletes and we show it by pictures of just their face? Fail.


I had the same thoughts and then clicked until I saw A-Rod. Complete fail.

I guess cuddle parties are for people who can't afford massages, which was the last fad for those seeking contact.

 
Because People in power are Stupid 2008-05-11 02:44:06 PM  
This article is worthless without pi...

EYEBLEACH EYEBLEACH!

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 02:45:21 PM  
FTFA: This is a non-sexual event...."This is a way of framing touch in a positive way,"...are meant to help people achieve better intimacy, and communication....allows people to express themselves in a comfortable and safe environment...There's snuggling, nuzzling and even spooning.

Well, THAT's a relief. I certainly wouldn't want intimacy, communication, snuggling and spooning to be associated with something like SEX.

 
strangeguitar 2008-05-11 03:01:44 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Sure, that's how it starts. You have the girls over for a little cuddle party, just some comfort and a chance to unwind after a long week while the guys go off on one of their stupid poker nights, and one bottle of wine turns into two, and then the four of you are just lying around on the bed reading Cosmo and talking about how Frank can't find Sandy's g-spot, and Beth gives Sandy a playful little poke in the ribs, just a tease, and then Sandy tickles her back, and then Sarah and Susan jump in and it's a full-blown tickle fight, all breathy giggles and stifled gasps, and then Sarah accidentally bumps up against the shelf and that bottle of massage oil she didn't cap right the other night tips over and drizzles onto the back of her neck and stains her shirt, and she has to take it off, and there's a breathless, pregnant pause as the others stare hungrily at her perfect breasts, at the eraser points of her pink nipples poking up from beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, and then Beth eases up behind her and slides her hands over her shoulders and cups them, cups her breasts, holds them in her gentle hands and feels their softness and warmth, and the massage oil keeps pouring and now they're undressing each other, sliding their hands over the forbidden skin, slathering each other with slickness, and then there's a click and a hum and they look and see that Beth has taken out her vibrator, is licking its length with her soft tongue, moaning as she traces it up and down her belly and tickles her quivering skin, and they sigh and lie down together among the feather pillows in a slick, oily, writhing pile of flesh and mouths and soft, throat moans. Yeah, I know how it starts.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:02:05 PM  
I just now bothered to watch TFV. I'm going to have to agree with "how about no" bear on this one.

 
RoyBatty 2008-05-11 03:05:38 PM  
Weaver95: eddyatwork: I wonder how long many of us go without a simple hug.

If i'm lucky, another 6 months. I have a rather large 'buffer zone'. I don't like people getting close and personal. It makes me want to react violently.


Ah, come here you big galoot! :)

 
Bangkapi 2008-05-11 03:05:51 PM  
Am I a pedophile if I wanna have a cuddle party with pubescent girls? Hey... it's just a bit of harmless cuddling!!!

 
Massa Damnata 2008-05-11 03:06:52 PM  
I would have thought the first rule would be don't fart.

 
Kanemano 2008-05-11 03:07:08 PM  
What's the matter, mommy never hugged you when you were a kid?

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:07:40 PM  
Massa Damnata: I would have thought the first rule would be don't fart.

Since you went there, I'll admit to wondering the same thing.

 
JohDHJ [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:08:59 PM  
Pocket Ninja:

I am amazed.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-05-11 03:09:41 PM  
Fluff Girl: This is probably the gheyest thing in the history ever.

img.inkfrog.com
allow me to introduce you

 
Sharkface217 2008-05-11 03:10:30 PM  
Pocket Ninja

Eloquence at its best.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:10:41 PM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter:

Annnd I stand corrected. Make that second-gheyest.

 
Komerade_X 2008-05-11 03:11:05 PM  
strangeguitar: Pocket Ninja: Sure, that's how it starts. You have the girls over for a little cuddle party, just some comfort and a chance to unwind after a long week while the guys go off on one of their stupid poker nights, and one bottle of wine turns into two, and then the four of you are just lying around on the bed reading Cosmo and talking about how Frank can't find Sandy's g-spot, and Beth gives Sandy a playful little poke in the ribs, just a tease, and then Sandy tickles her back, and then Sarah and Susan jump in and it's a full-blown tickle fight, all breathy giggles and stifled gasps, and then Sarah accidentally bumps up against the shelf and that bottle of massage oil she didn't cap right the other night tips over and drizzles onto the back of her neck and stains her shirt, and she has to take it off, and there's a breathless, pregnant pause as the others stare hungrily at her perfect breasts, at the eraser points of her pink nipples poking up from beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, and then Beth eases up behind her and slides her hands over her shoulders and cups them, cups her breasts, holds them in her gentle hands and feels their softness and warmth, and the massage oil keeps pouring and now they're undressing each other, sliding their hands over the forbidden skin, slathering each other with slickness, and then there's a click and a hum and they look and see that Beth has taken out her vibrator, is licking its length with her soft tongue, moaning as she traces it up and down her belly and tickles her quivering skin, and they sigh and lie down together among the feather pillows in a slick, oily, writhing pile of flesh and mouths and soft, throat moans. Yeah, I know how it starts.

That's exactly what I was going to say.


Yeah, but strangeguitar: forgot the bungee cords, the duck, and the bottle of Nair.

 
Massa Damnata 2008-05-11 03:11:05 PM  
Bangkapi

You are certainly something similar. Attempting to obtain emotional validation through embrace in a context which demands clarity of boundariesm, the compromise of which can lead to sex, that are established to be frequently confused in teenagers.

It would at least be wise to question the motivation of an adult who involved themselves with this.

/I know you were kidding

 
No Such Agency 2008-05-11 03:12:08 PM  
Weaver95:
eddyatwork: I wonder how long many of us go without a simple hug.

If i'm lucky, another 6 months. I have a rather large 'buffer zone'. I don't like people getting close and personal. It makes me want to react violently.


Colour me shocked. I always pictured you as an angry, twitching hermit. Relax a bit, it won't make you gay or anything.

 
butterwings 2008-05-11 03:12:27 PM  
this reminds me of a key party!

 
FarkinHostile 2008-05-11 03:12:33 PM  
Any penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the offense.

 
TxRabbit 2008-05-11 03:14:00 PM  
Weaver95: eddyatwork: I wonder how long many of us go without a simple hug.

If i'm lucky, another 6 months. I have a rather large 'buffer zone'. I don't like people getting close and personal. It makes me want to react violently.


The homophobia explained!!!!

 
jbernie 2008-05-11 03:14:14 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Sure, that's how it starts. You have the girls over for a little cuddle party, just some comfort and a chance to unwind after a long week while the guys go off on one of their stupid poker nights, and one bottle of wine turns into two, and then the four of you are just lying around on the bed reading Cosmo and talking about how Frank can't find Sandy's g-spot, and Beth gives Sandy a playful little poke in the ribs, just a tease, and then Sandy tickles her back, and then Sarah and Susan jump in and it's a full-blown tickle fight, all breathy giggles and stifled gasps, and then Sarah accidentally bumps up against the shelf and that bottle of massage oil she didn't cap right the other night tips over and drizzles onto the back of her neck and stains her shirt, and she has to take it off, and there's a breathless, pregnant pause as the others stare hungrily at her perfect breasts, at the eraser points of her pink nipples poking up from beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, and then Beth eases up behind her and slides her hands over her shoulders and cups them, cups her breasts, holds them in her gentle hands and feels their softness and warmth, and the massage oil keeps pouring and now they're undressing each other, sliding their hands over the forbidden skin, slathering each other with slickness, and then there's a click and a hum and they look and see that Beth has taken out her vibrator, is licking its length with her soft tongue, moaning as she traces it up and down her belly and tickles her quivering skin, and they sigh and lie down together among the feather pillows in a slick, oily, writhing pile of flesh and mouths and soft, throat moans. Yeah, I know how it starts.

Do you need a cuddle because your enter key doesn't work?

 
vlakorados 2008-05-11 03:14:17 PM  
You want some soothing, caring touch with no sexual connotations? Make an appointment and get a massage. Relieve some stress, increase blood flow, stimulate and tone muscles, correct your homeostasis, decrease tension, undo knots and basically feel human again in a professional environment without the awkwardness of having some creepy stranger hugging up on you in their pajamas.

/massage student
//gets massages twice a week at school
///much more well-adjusted these days

 
ultraholland 2008-05-11 03:14:18 PM  
Is this anything like the last cuddle party we heard about?

 
Cyno01 [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:14:45 PM  
And if you pop a boner, what then? WHAT IF YOU POP A BONER?!?

 
portscanner 2008-05-11 03:15:29 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Sure, that's how it starts. .....

Dyamn! You sure you dont work for Penthouse?

 
justinthebull 2008-05-11 03:15:41 PM  
The Romans did this, only they did it much better.

/"First served, first come."

 
ultraholland 2008-05-11 03:16:36 PM  
Somacandra: I certainly wouldn't want intimacy, communication, snuggling and spooning to be associated with something like SEX.

Spooning leads to forking.

 
NeuroticRocker [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:17:08 PM  
EDDYATWORK:

5 yrs since my last hug, kiss, fark.

there comes a point in which all the love gets starved out of you and u don't want it anymore.

sex isn't something that I think about. what turns me on is a hug or pat on the shoulder, which I can't help. it freaks girls out and isolates me further. so....

I'm screwed. and I don't care. because like I said, I don't even need it anymore. thought about going in for a meaningless cuddle, but these things cost money.

I'd feel cheap

 
Resin33 2008-05-11 03:17:59 PM  
Those cuddle parties would rock on MDMA.

 
butterwings 2008-05-11 03:18:25 PM  
Cyno01:
And if you pop a boner, what then? WHAT IF YOU POP A BONER?!?

goodness the sense of urgency in that post!
(I think we all know ways to remedy that situation) hehehe

 
Hepcize 2008-05-11 03:18:36 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Sure, that's how it starts. You have the girls over for a little cuddle party, just some comfort and a chance to unwind after a long week while the guys go off on one of their stupid poker nights, and one bottle of wine turns into two, and then the four of you are just lying around on the bed reading Cosmo and talking about how Frank can't find Sandy's g-spot, and Beth gives Sandy a playful little poke in the ribs, just a tease, and then Sandy tickles her back, and then Sarah and Susan jump in and it's a full-blown tickle fight, all breathy giggles and stifled gasps, and then Sarah accidentally bumps up against the shelf and that bottle of massage oil she didn't cap right the other night tips over and drizzles onto the back of her neck and stains her shirt, and she has to take it off, and there's a breathless, pregnant pause as the others stare hungrily at her perfect breasts, at the eraser points of her pink nipples poking up from beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, and then Beth eases up behind her and slides her hands over her shoulders and cups them, cups her breasts, holds them in her gentle hands and feels their softness and warmth, and the massage oil keeps pouring and now they're undressing each other, sliding their hands over the forbidden skin, slathering each other with slickness, and then there's a click and a hum and they look and see that Beth has taken out her vibrator, is licking its length with her soft tongue, moaning as she traces it up and down her belly and tickles her quivering skin, and they sigh and lie down together among the feather pillows in a slick, oily, writhing pile of flesh and mouths and soft, throat moans.

The Aristocrats!

 
FarkinHostile 2008-05-11 03:18:37 PM  
vlakorados

You want some soothing, caring touch with no sexual connotations? Make an appointment and get a massage. Relieve some stress, increase blood flow, stimulate and tone muscles, correct your homeostasis, decrease tension, undo knots and basically feel human again in a professional environment without the awkwardness of having some creepy stranger hugging up on you in their pajamas.

/massage student
//gets massages twice a week at school
///much more well-adjusted these days



Dead on. Good luck in the field, it's very hard for us males to be ....."trusted" in this day and age. Still, once you get a good client base and a good reputation, it can be quite rewarding.

/Shiatsus for 16 years
//You wouldn't me if believe who makes up my clientèle.

 
Anaiya 2008-05-11 03:20:14 PM  
Ew. Just ew.

 
40oz_A_Knight 2008-05-11 03:21:32 PM  
Dudes: Just get a girl. It isn't that hard. I have no game and I do just fine. These cuddle parties are basically where virgins go to get neutered.

 
lordargent 2008-05-11 03:22:29 PM  
Weaver95: If i'm lucky, another 6 months. I have a rather large 'buffer zone'. I don't like people getting close and personal. It makes me want to react violently.

That

Unless you're a cat, a family member, or someone I'm dating, stay the hell away from me.

 
tsuchikage 2008-05-11 03:22:57 PM  
Ugh and disgust.

img107.imageshack.us

/as per Fluff Girl's request

 
chaosweaver 2008-05-11 03:24:17 PM  
ultraholland: Somacandra: I certainly wouldn't want intimacy, communication, snuggling and spooning to be associated with something like SEX.

Spooning leads to forking.


THIS

 
jebusfreak [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:25:43 PM  
Wow.... sounds way too much like they're taking ecstasy... 3 hours long, cuddling, touch, sitting around in circles being intimate, massaging...

 
w0nka 2008-05-11 03:27:01 PM  
40oz_A_Knight: Dudes: Just get a girl. It isn't that hard. I have no game and I do just fine.

This.

/No game
//dating a scientist at the U of M

 
MassAsster 2008-05-11 03:27:28 PM  
I really only feel there is one way to express how much I like the Idea....


www.kensavage.com

 
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