"At their company, Naked Communications, it seems love is in the air..."

LOL

The company has to watch its ass while you're watching the secretary's. I think they're kind of silly, but it is probably a nice guard against frivolous sexual harassment claims.

Contract or no, it's never a good idea.

Pooter:
Contract or no, it's never a good idea.

I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon . . . you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

butterwings: Pooter:
Contract or no, it's never a good idea.

I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!

Both at once?

I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!

Is your company hiring?

It is almost always a stupid idea. Even if the employer doesn't care, it is at the very least extremely annoying. Everyone whispers behind your back. If you go to lunch together it is "ooooooohhhh what are THEEEEEY doing?" People can blackmail you with it. They can screw over the person you are dating in order to get back at you.

There are a million ways that it can go wrong, and only one way it can go right (you get laid and it is your tre love....how likely is that? You will probably get laid and break up) It is incredibly stupid.

But, you can always nail their friends that don't work there. Or if you don't give a rats ass about your job and you are leaving and dont care about your reference...basically if you work as a cashier or something it doesnt matter. But if you care about your job or career, it is incredibly stupid.

Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Chester J. Lampwick:
not into 2 input sex. I like it better one-on-one.

yyaskyy:
LOL!

yyaskyy: I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!

Is your company hiring?

brooklyn's not worth it let it be.

/stalk stalk

I've said this on Fark before.....DO NOT FARK PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH!

/Got my crazy ex stripper and drug addict 2nd wife that way.
//She hid the drug part from me.
///And the ex stripper part too.....My bad..That's how we learn I guess.

jennyz: Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

I hadn't either. But I LOL'd.

Apparently, it can be traced back to the 15000's.

FTA: The issue of workplace romance has become more prevalent with people working longer days and more women in the office.

Translation: As more and more people are forced by their employers to spend their every waking moment working, workers really have no other place available to fulfill their sexual urges. It's either the contracts or celibacy.

volcs0:
Apparently, it can be traced back to the 15000's.

Ugh - it is way too early in the morning. 1500's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beast_with_Two_Backs

I do repair work in jails now. So there are cameras everywhere and very few places to hide.

butterwings Pooter
Contract or no, it's never a good idea.

I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!


Two chicks, at the same time.

Approves.

Rossi_84:
hey! us brooklyn gals hold our own. if you don't believe me, just ask any of the male brooklynites who say 'hello' and yell inappropriate things, when a chick walks down the street!

Having an affair at work is like taking a crap next to the food dish.

/Even my stupid labrador retriever never did that

The 15000's holy crap, fire up Mister Fusion, we're going for a ride!

Yes, it's never a good idea. Except when it's someone you know from another department that you knew before you started working there, and you're both mostly single. In that case bang away. In software storage closets. During lunch breaks. And when it's slow. Using the store cameras inside the closet to make sure no one is in the area.

But a married chick flirting with you that you don't really know? Forget it. She's just toying with you, and will burn you at the drop of a pin.

SUPPLIES!

I have to admit that I did get in a relationship with someone I worked with (many years ago, before I met my wife).

It was cute and fun at first, but little did I know how she really was... psycho from hell.

After a few months, it just started getting weirder and weirder.

After the breakup, it was not funny when she'd come in my office for anything she wanted to say, but when I tried to talk to her about some things that I left behind at her place she started with harassment stuff. She was quite attractive and her boss (different section from mine) was probably cheating on his wife and boinking her at that point and tried to cause me trouble.

The day I learned that her contract was over, I was seriously relieved. The story doesn't end here, but too long to continue.

I'll just state that eventually it ended and hope that I'll never see her again.

butterwings:
hey! us brooklyn gals hold our own. if you don't believe me, just ask any of the male brooklynites who say 'hello' and yell inappropriate things, when a chick walks down the street!

If your not hiring did you need some help holding your own?

jennyz Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Shakespeare. Offhand I want to say Much Ado About Nothing, but a quick Google search would probably say for sure

/too lazy to verify
//definitely Shakespeare though

imfallen_angel: I have to admit that I did get in a relationship with someone I worked with (many years ago, before I met my wife).

It was cute and fun at first, but little did I know how she really was... psycho from hell.

After a few months, it just started getting weirder and weirder.

After the breakup, it was not funny when she'd come in my office for anything she wanted to say, but when I tried to talk to her about some things that I left behind at her place she started with harassment stuff. She was quite attractive and her boss (different section from mine) was probably cheating on his wife and boinking her at that point and tried to cause me trouble.

The day I learned that her contract was over, I was seriously relieved. The story doesn't end here, but too long to continue.

I'll just state that eventually it ended and hope that I'll never see her again.

Don't leave me in suspense!

ElRonHubbardsBalls: It is almost always a stupid idea. Even if the employer doesn't care, it is at the very least extremely annoying. Everyone whispers behind your back. If you go to lunch together it is "ooooooohhhh what are THEEEEEY doing?" People can blackmail you with it. They can screw over the person you are dating in order to get back at you.


Geeez, do you work with a bunch of 6 graders.

I've done the office affair. It's really not that hard to be discrete, so there was no snickering behind our backs. We worked in different departments, we were on the same level of management, when we had to work together we were strictly professional. We also weren't sneaking away at lunch together, hanging all over each other at hot local spots, etc.

No one suspected a thing until 6 months later when, knowing that this was something serious and not a "fling", we told our bosses about it. They just shrugged, as it was pretty clear that it in no way was going to impact our work, since it hadn't so far. So when we then decided to tell some coworkers, it was pretty much a non-issue.

But if you are just talking about a casual romp with the secretary? Yeah... that's just all sorts of stupid.

imfallen_angel: I have to admit that I did get in a relationship with someone I worked with (many years ago, before I met my wife).
It was cute and fun at first, but little did I know how she really was... psycho from hell.
After a few months, it just started getting weirder and weirder.
After the breakup, it was not funny when she'd come in my office for anything she wanted to say, but when I tried to talk to her about some things that I left behind at her place she started with harassment stuff. She was quite attractive and her boss (different section from mine) was probably cheating on his wife and boinking her at that point and tried to cause me trouble.
The day I learned that her contract was over, I was seriously relieved. The story doesn't end here, but too long to continue.
I'll just state that eventually it ended and hope that I'll never see her again.

Reading your story brought this mental image in my head.

I sometimes work 11 hour days sometimes up to 12 days in a row. My job (sadly - I know) takes up much of my time and I work very closely with many of the women here. The way I see it, I don't have many other options to meet women except at work. Only once has it turned out badly. If they don't want me poking my co-workers, they need to give me more time off. Besides, as long as you're careful and not a dick about it, it shouldn't be that hard difficult.

/recognized my pun

volcs0: volcs0:
"Apparently, it can be traced back to the 15000's.

Ugh - it is way too early in the morning. 1500's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beast_with_Two_Backs"

From that WIKI page:

"However, the term dates back to at least 1532 (Shakespeare was born in 1564), and can be found in François Rabelais', 'Gargantua and Pantagruel':

"In the prime of his years he married Gargamelle, daughter of the king of the Butterflies, a fine, good-looking piece, and the pair of them often played the two-backed beast, joyfully rubbing their bacon together..."


This thread is turning out to be a goldmine of new descriptors for sex that I can casually throw out there ion daily conversation.

/Penis

ImprovOmega: jennyz Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Shakespeare. Offhand I want to say Much Ado About Nothing, but a quick Google search would probably say for sure

/too lazy to verify
//definitely Shakespeare though

Othello

imfallen_angel: I have to admit that I did get in a relationship with someone I worked with (many years ago, before I met my wife).

It was cute and fun at first, but little did I know how she really was... psycho from hell.

After a few months, it just started getting weirder and weirder.

After the breakup, it was not funny when she'd come in my office for anything she wanted to say, but when I tried to talk to her about some things that I left behind at her place she started with harassment stuff. She was quite attractive and her boss (different section from mine) was probably cheating on his wife and boinking her at that point and tried to cause me trouble.

The day I learned that her contract was over, I was seriously relieved. The story doesn't end here, but too long to continue.

I'll just state that eventually it ended and hope that I'll never see her again.

I had the same problem, because I was the boss she thought she was as well, after too many complaints my boss told me either move her to a different department or I'll fire the both of you. I had her transfered to a different department and she didn't speak to me for two weeks. although, I did get a pretty cool step daughter out of the whole mess who can't stand her crazy mother. In fact she "the step daughter" is living with the current Mrs. Meat Puppet and I while she finishes college.

I found out recently from a friend of mine from the ad agency I used to work at that a good number of folks just assumed me and this female co-worker were sneaking off to fark. I think the attraction was there, but she was married and I was seeing someone. We really just ran off all the time to hate on our jobs over lunch. ... But there are a lot of attractive young women at an ad agency, and they all love to go to happy hour and unwind, and it always seemed pretty likely that everyone was doing everyone else in that environment.

Iago the troublemaker is telling Desdemona's father that she and Othello (a Moor!) are doing the horizontal bop. Othello, yes, but even he uses some colloquialisms that aren't his. Just like David Mamet wasn't the first to insert the word "farking" in-between two other words.

ciocia: ImprovOmega: jennyz Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Shakespeare. Offhand I want to say Much Ado About Nothing, but a quick Google search would probably say for sure

/too lazy to verify
//definitely Shakespeare though

Othello

That's true, but for me that phrase will always conjure up one image:



/Isn't that special?

It's never a smart thing to have an office romance, but who ever said people were smart?

butterwings: Chester J. Lampwick:
not into 2 input sex. I like it better one-on-one.

yyaskyy:
LOL!

You don't necessarily have to use the parallel ports. Use the serial ports instead.

yyaskyy:
butterwings:
hey! us brooklyn gals hold our own. if you don't believe me, just ask any of the male brooklynites who say 'hello' and yell inappropriate things, when a chick walks down the street!

If your not hiring did you need some help holding your own?

awww thanks!

butterwings: I agree totally. though it is tempting... there 2 guys I work with who, if stuck in a room with them, I would most likely have sex with!

"We're here to insert our giant throbbing cartridges into your copier, again and again."

jennyz: Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Shakespeare

/with phrases like this, it is more fun outside of english class

ImprovOmega: Shakespeare. Offhand I want to say Much Ado About Nothing, but a quick Google search would probably say for sure

/too lazy to verify
//definitely Shakespeare though

No, Rabelais' use of it predates Shakespeare's, though I don't know whether an English version of Gargantua and Pantegruel predates Shakespeare's use. Shakespeare would have cribbed it from Raelais or common usage.

/Where I learned about the phrase
/No, it's not out yet

jennyz: Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

It's Shakespeare.

People have employment contracts? That's interesting. In every job I've had, the "contract" has been "if you happened to work on a given day, I've got to pay you something."

Florida is an at-will employment state. Unless you have a specific contract for a fixed term, the boss can fire you because you wore green and he really wanted you to wear blue. Because you had nachos for lunch and didn't give him any. Because you read Dilbert comics. Because you gave him a gag gift for Secret Santa. Because you left his church for another church across town.

Unless you're black, a woman, or handicapped. Then you're safe.

Wolf Flywheel: volcs0: volcs0:
"Apparently, it can be traced back to the 15000's.

Ugh - it is way too early in the morning. 1500's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beast_with_Two_Backs"

From that WIKI page:

"However, the term dates back to at least 1532 (Shakespeare was born in 1564), and can be found in François Rabelais', 'Gargantua and Pantagruel':

"In the prime of his years he married Gargamelle, daughter of the king of the Butterflies, a fine, good-looking piece, and the pair of them often played the two-backed beast, joyfully rubbing their bacon together..."


This thread is turning out to be a goldmine of new descriptors for sex that I can casually throw out there ion daily conversation.

/Penis

Bears repeating:

joyfully rubbing their bacon together...


joyfully rubbing their bacon together...

Hey, let's go rub bacon.

I help large companies defend employment-related lawsuits for a living. By far, the #1 cause of employment litigation is a boss having an affair with someone in his company. Sometimes they just act creepy and don't actually have the affair. They still get sued, of course. Notice I said "his." In my experience, 95% of the time its a male sexually harassing a female and not the other way around. Big surprise, eh?

The good part for me is that no matter how many times we tell people at these companies not to have affairs with their co-workers, they still do it. Thanks to human nature, there is no shortage of litigation for us! The only way for a corporation to mitigate the damage is exactly what this article states: documentation.

On a final note, many of the sexual harassment claims turn out to be complete lies. Then again, many of them turn out to be true.

I've had flings at work. Once it turned out horribly.....she told me she wasn't interested in anything but sex then after a while she wanted more than that. Then I screwed one of the secretaries for 2 years....she didn't want any sort of relationship with me, just sex, which her hubby wasn't giving her.

Now I'm seeing one of the directors that I support. When things clicked the first thing we did was agree upon some rules. No affection at work. Ok, we'll see each other and smile but we've always done that - she's pretty and is really outgoing. Then she stopped signing any documents of mine might be questioned such as time sheets, travel logs, etc. No one questioned it, I said "if I'm in your office on the last day of the month you'll have to sign this stuff" - and I make sure I'm elsewhere on my last day.

We do head out to lunch sometimes. Once we were caught by some of the other staff...when we saw them we pulled out our folders and began discussing a project I was working on. Staff walked by, commented on it, I said "yeah, nothing more romantic than trying to sort this stuff out" as I showed then what we were working on. No one has said jack since.

Sometime this summer we'll go public after we talk to HR.

theMagni: joyfully rubbing their bacon together...

Hey, let's go rub bacon.

The book is full of colorfully-phrased descriptions of bodily functions. I thought that kind of humor was a late 20th century invention until I read Gargantua and Pantegruel.

ElRonHubbardsBalls: Everyone whispers behind your back. If you go to lunch together it is "ooooooohhhh what are THEEEEEY doing?"

I loathe gossip. I'm good friends with another tech in my department, so we go out to lunch sometimes, hang out at coffee break, etc. We're each happily married for 20+ years, no hanky-panky at all. One of the secretaries commented one day about how some juicy rumours could be started from our friendship; I gave her the hairy eyeball and assured her that if any such rumours were to be traced back to her, I would French-kiss her in the middle of the office in front of plenty of witnesses.

/so ya like gossip, do ya?
//I'll give ya gossip...

ImprovOmega: jennyz Subby: to make the beast with two backs

I must be the only person who had never heard this phrase before...

Shakespeare. Offhand I want to say Much Ado About Nothing, but a quick Google search would probably say for sure

/too lazy to verify
//definitely Shakespeare though


Othello, actually...
Iago is pissed off and makes like the FAUX SNOOZE reporter town crier and yells about how "Desdemona and Othello are making the beast with two backs!"

/ didn't Google
// probably shows up in other plays as well
/// just remember this one for the WTF!? factor...first time I'd ever seen the phrase.