If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(News.com.au) Spiffy Try to bite off my leg? That's a double eye-pokin'   (news.com.au) divider line 33
More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

10014 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2008 at 8:50 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

33 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
chaosweaver 2008-05-11 08:54:52 AM  
Usually we JUMP the tank of sharks, pal. Keeps the sharks from biting us.

/RTFA
//still felt like making the joke

 
Petulant Dwarf 2008-05-11 08:55:05 AM  
Buubiez!

 
Tellurianix 2008-05-11 08:58:05 AM  
That right there is good reasoning to carry a harpoon every time you set foot in water. Aquatic defense is covered by the 2nd, ain't it?

 
supernaturaltoe 2008-05-11 09:09:39 AM  
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

/why I outta...

 
3rdorderofsimulacra 2008-05-11 09:20:37 AM  
said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

 
tukatz [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 09:23:45 AM  
"We've been trying to shepherd them out to sea, but they seem to just want to stay inshore"


In shore = tasty, tasty snackies

 
skinink 2008-05-11 09:35:56 AM  
Roy Scheider's death has given the sharks new courage.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 09:36:55 AM  
3rdorderofsimulacra: said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

Frances!
Settle down!!!

 
YixilTesiphon 2008-05-11 09:50:03 AM  
"The sharks are a protected species, and all we can do for the time being is continue to patrol up and down the beach."

Of course.

 
06Wahoo 2008-05-11 09:50:41 AM  
farm3.static.flickr.com

Unavailable for comment.

/Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyah.

 
3rdorderofsimulacra 2008-05-11 09:51:33 AM  
Welcome to the Machine
no, no i wont "lighten up." why does every other link have to be a lie? the whole point is that 'you cant make this stuff up.' it's not to have pretend time. fark.

 
nirwana [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 09:57:59 AM  
Sharks lie, why can't we?

 
3rdorderofsimulacra 2008-05-11 09:58:00 AM  
Welcome to the Machine

admittedly, this one is a less sever examples of the new calculated mendacity (NCM) but it happens to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

however, 'that's an eye pokin' would have been just as funny as the lie "double eye pokin'" also, i know the first or so paragraph said 'eyes' but that was in the more general sense. later in the article it clearly says 'eye.' then DOESN'T MENTION a second eye poking. that was the extra funny/interesting part. and it never happened. goddamn bullsh*t if you ask me. a goddamn travesty too.

 
spi13 2008-05-11 10:02:00 AM  
3rdorderofsimulacra: Welcome to the Machine
no, no i wont "lighten up." why does every other link have to be a lie? the whole point is that 'you cant make this stuff up.' it's not to have pretend time. fark.


First off Ya, Lighten up, so it's exagerated a bit, or not maybe he poked the shark twice in one eye, did you think of that?

Second....so he poked a protected speceies in the eye?....hope the game warden doesn't find out...........Oh, and lighten up Francis.

 
3rdorderofsimulacra 2008-05-11 10:07:31 AM  
spi13

read post directly above yours.

 
RoxtarRyan [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 10:14:58 AM  
3rdorderofsimulacra: said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

i71.photobucket.com

 
Whoopti Dew [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 10:15:37 AM  
3rdorderofsimulacra... Somebody needs a nap.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 10:18:06 AM  
Damn, I was just trying to lighten it up a bit.

Setting someone off over such a trivial item is just added hangover remedy for me.

 
consdubya 2008-05-11 10:24:25 AM  
Yeah, we West Aussies are pretty hardcore.

/Props to dude fighting off a white pointer, that really is hardcore.

 
aracnop [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 10:45:18 AM  
What the shark said moments before attack:

"You yellow basters, come back here and take whats coming to you, I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!"

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 11:14:32 AM  
"Jason Cull was about 80 metres off Middleton Beach ...."

Heh. Cull was almost culled.

 
LadyMech 2008-05-11 11:58:25 AM  
The swimmer punched the shark before the shark bite him. Sure, the shark banged into the guy, but maybe he was just distracted, thinking about his shark girlfriend or something.
Punching a shark before s/he bites you is going to result in a bitin'. They are hardcore like that, you know.

 
NukkenFutz [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 12:08:02 PM  
Thank you, 06Wahoo

That's what I came in here for.

 
spleef420 2008-05-11 12:22:15 PM  
"You know what to do if a shark is bothering you?"
"Bothering?"
"You punch it in the nose."
"Yeah, and when that doesn't work you can poke it in the eye with your bloody stump."

*punch*
"HEY! What the hell was that for?"
"I thought you were going to attack me."
"Well...I am NOW...the other sharks are watching."

/Schimmel

 
Crispy 2008-05-11 01:33:56 PM  
No shark punch references?

 
Shocktopus 2008-05-11 03:32:42 PM  
3rdorderofsimulacra: Welcome to the Machine

admittedly, this one is a less sever examples of the new calculated mendacity (NCM) but it happens to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

however, 'that's an eye pokin' would have been just as funny as the lie "double eye pokin'" also, i know the first or so paragraph said 'eyes' but that was in the more general sense. later in the article it clearly says 'eye.' then DOESN'T MENTION a second eye poking. that was the extra funny/interesting part. and it never happened. goddamn bullsh*t if you ask me. a goddamn travesty too.


You're taking this shiat way too seriously, dude.

Try this:

www.isc.ucsb.edu

 
shubai33 [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 03:52:28 PM  
i22.photobucket.com

Approves

 
SG81 2008-05-11 05:04:05 PM  

 
simpsonfan 2008-05-11 06:41:23 PM  
Hero: (Noun) Person who takes a risk to save another.

Joanne Lucas: See above.

 
Tellurianix 2008-05-11 08:45:02 PM  
I think our overstressed friend is hitting Fark a bit too often. A simple tool to relax - go to "Start", hit "Turn off computer", move away from the screen and open the front door. Step outside.

Reality takes a little getting used to but it's quite fulfilling once you get to the sex part.

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-05-11 09:23:11 PM  
img440.imageshack.us

/oblig

 
global wombats [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 09:56:31 PM  
img80.imageshack.us

Photo by Mark Bickerdike taken immediately after shark attack at Middleton Beach. The picture shows Joanne Lucas helping victim Jason Cull to shore (two heads in foreground) while Jason's two friends swim to shore (the two heads further out) kicking the water to scare the shark off. It's fin can be seen close behind. Mark took the photo believing it was just a dolphin

 
FrostyOne 2008-05-12 01:52:52 AM  
He probably owed the Shark money.

 
Displayed 33 of 33 comments


[Continue Farking]