Usually we JUMP the tank of sharks, pal. Keeps the sharks from biting us.

/RTFA
//still felt like making the joke

Buubiez!

That right there is good reasoning to carry a harpoon every time you set foot in water. Aquatic defense is covered by the 2nd, ain't it?

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

/why I outta...

said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

"We've been trying to shepherd them out to sea, but they seem to just want to stay inshore"


In shore = tasty, tasty snackies

Roy Scheider's death has given the sharks new courage.

3rdorderofsimulacra: said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

Frances!
Settle down!!!

"The sharks are a protected species, and all we can do for the time being is continue to patrol up and down the beach."

Of course.

Unavailable for comment.

/Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyah.

Welcome to the Machine
no, no i wont "lighten up." why does every other link have to be a lie? the whole point is that 'you cant make this stuff up.' it's not to have pretend time. fark.

Sharks lie, why can't we?

Welcome to the Machine

admittedly, this one is a less sever examples of the new calculated mendacity (NCM) but it happens to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

however, 'that's an eye pokin' would have been just as funny as the lie "double eye pokin'" also, i know the first or so paragraph said 'eyes' but that was in the more general sense. later in the article it clearly says 'eye.' then DOESN'T MENTION a second eye poking. that was the extra funny/interesting part. and it never happened. goddamn bullsh*t if you ask me. a goddamn travesty too.

3rdorderofsimulacra: Welcome to the Machine
no, no i wont "lighten up." why does every other link have to be a lie? the whole point is that 'you cant make this stuff up.' it's not to have pretend time. fark.

First off Ya, Lighten up, so it's exagerated a bit, or not maybe he poked the shark twice in one eye, did you think of that?

Second....so he poked a protected speceies in the eye?....hope the game warden doesn't find out...........Oh, and lighten up Francis.

spi13

read post directly above yours.

3rdorderofsimulacra: said nothing about a "double eye poking" you lying fag submiter. DOES EVERY LINK HAVE TO BE farkING LIE NOW? IS THAT THE NEW RULE? assholes.

3rdorderofsimulacra... Somebody needs a nap.

Damn, I was just trying to lighten it up a bit.

Setting someone off over such a trivial item is just added hangover remedy for me.

Yeah, we West Aussies are pretty hardcore.

/Props to dude fighting off a white pointer, that really is hardcore.

What the shark said moments before attack:

"You yellow basters, come back here and take whats coming to you, I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!"

"Jason Cull was about 80 metres off Middleton Beach ...."

Heh. Cull was almost culled.

The swimmer punched the shark before the shark bite him. Sure, the shark banged into the guy, but maybe he was just distracted, thinking about his shark girlfriend or something.
Punching a shark before s/he bites you is going to result in a bitin'. They are hardcore like that, you know.

Thank you, 06Wahoo

That's what I came in here for.

"You know what to do if a shark is bothering you?"
"Bothering?"
"You punch it in the nose."
"Yeah, and when that doesn't work you can poke it in the eye with your bloody stump."

*punch*
"HEY! What the hell was that for?"
"I thought you were going to attack me."
"Well...I am NOW...the other sharks are watching."

/Schimmel

No shark punch references?

3rdorderofsimulacra: Welcome to the Machine

admittedly, this one is a less sever examples of the new calculated mendacity (NCM) but it happens to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

however, 'that's an eye pokin' would have been just as funny as the lie "double eye pokin'" also, i know the first or so paragraph said 'eyes' but that was in the more general sense. later in the article it clearly says 'eye.' then DOESN'T MENTION a second eye poking. that was the extra funny/interesting part. and it never happened. goddamn bullsh*t if you ask me. a goddamn travesty too.

You're taking this shiat way too seriously, dude.

Try this:

Approves

http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF149-Svens_Revenge.jpg (new window)

Hero: (Noun) Person who takes a risk to save another.

Joanne Lucas: See above.

I think our overstressed friend is hitting Fark a bit too often. A simple tool to relax - go to "Start", hit "Turn off computer", move away from the screen and open the front door. Step outside.

Reality takes a little getting used to but it's quite fulfilling once you get to the sex part.

/oblig

He probably owed the Shark money.