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(TampaBays10.com) Florida 77 year old homeowner 1, 22 year old woman burglar 0. (w/pic of hittable 22-year-old)   (tampabays10.com) divider line 291
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69276 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2008 at 7:35 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Megain [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 05:06:16 AM  
www.tampabay.com
/hit it

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 05:22:45 AM  
Hittable? I'd hit her alright...with a baseball bat.



That being said, someone needs to give either article's author or her editor a spell check program. It's aggravating when they don't pay better attention.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 05:38:02 AM  
Is she an elf?

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 05:53:29 AM  
She should probably return to whoring to feed her drug addiction.

 
Suicidal Writer 2008-05-11 06:26:40 AM  
img59.imageshack.us
img59.imageshack.us
img81.imageshack.us

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:08:35 AM  
Suicidal Writer: [Castle Law pics]

THESE

 
bubbaprog [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:19:17 AM  
This guy is a German immigrant.

His name is also frightfully similar (i.e. identical) to one of the most powerful Nazi leaders.

So yeah, I wouldn't mess with him.

King Something: Suicidal Writer: [Castle Law pics]

THESE


Up until her husband comes home early and tries not to wake her up as he moves through the house. Oops! Dead husband. It'll be a long, long time before guns kept for "self-defense" ever end up with more killings of intruders than accidental deaths of family members.

Of 626 shootings in or around a residence in three U.S. cities revealed that, for every time a gun in the home was used in a self-defense or legally justifiable shooting, there were four unintentional shootings, seven criminal assaults or homicides, and 11 attempted or completed suicides (Kellermann et al, 1998).

 
dougfm 2008-05-11 07:40:41 AM  
He brought the Funk.

 
Malinki 2008-05-11 07:40:43 AM  
Too bad Frank Zappa's dead, this has the makings of an epic song.

 
the forning touk 2008-05-11 07:41:09 AM  
dude, I so want to change my name to Ingeborg Funk.

 
Hilary T. N. Seuss 2008-05-11 07:41:11 AM  
WhyteRaven74: Is she an elf?

Either that or a Vulcan.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:41:33 AM  
She'll be that "10 years of meth" woman in... oh, about 9 years, six months.

 
The Rest Are Bait [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:42:21 AM  
King Something: Suicidal Writer: [Castle Law pics]

THESE


When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. Carry concealed.

 
eltejon 2008-05-11 07:42:22 AM  
FTFAWhen deputies arrived he had her pinned on the ground.

That is hot.

And she was obviously hittable... he did it with pliers.

 
Bacontastesgood 2008-05-11 07:43:29 AM  
bubbaprog:

Look, you have to admit that a handgun is a much more convenient and effective way of killing yourself than shiat like sitting in your running car in a closed garage, sticking your fingers in a light socket or taking lots of pills that you might puke up.

Guns are great goddammit! Say it! Say guns are great!

 
NoblePatrick 2008-05-11 07:45:02 AM  
"I'd hit it...with a pair of pliers!"
-Walter Funk

 
Unshrunken Dink 2008-05-11 07:45:59 AM  
FTFA: Walter says he then reached for some pliers nearby and struck Mason-Suares on the head.
That must have been what caused those gelfling ears to emerge.

 
Bonanza Jellybean 2008-05-11 07:48:44 AM  
i31.tinypic.comi27.tinypic.com

 
Mirkwood23 2008-05-11 07:49:36 AM  
Are you sure you hit it?
www.baynews9.com
(new window)

 
melancholy_art 2008-05-11 07:49:43 AM  
bubbaprog: Of 626 shootings in or around a residence in three U.S. cities revealed that, for every time a gun in the home was used in a self-defense or legally justifiable shooting, there were four unintentional shootings, seven criminal assaults or homicides, and 11 attempted or completed suicides (Kellermann et al, 1998).

Kellermann didn't publish a study in 1998 (?!)

That alone should bring the citing into question

 
Yankees Team Gynecologist 2008-05-11 07:51:30 AM  
I get that it's probably good to have a gun in case an intruder enters your home with intent to harm, but really, what are the chances of that happening? I'm sure it's zero in some places and realistically high in others, but what about the average? Aren't there bigger fish to fry? Unless you live in the ghetto or something, shouldn't you be more worried about, say, getting T-boned by a drunk driver while sitting in your car at an intersection?

 
bubbaprog [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:52:28 AM  
melancholy_art: Kellermann didn't publish a study in 1998 (?!)

That alone should bring the citing into question


Kellermann, A. et al. "Injuries and Deaths Due to Firearms in the Home." Journal of Trauma-Injury Infection & Critical Care 45:263-267, August 1998.

 
ekdikeo4 2008-05-11 07:54:34 AM  
Ingeborg?

WTF kinda name is thaT?

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 07:56:49 AM  
bubbaprog: melancholy_art: Kellermann didn't publish a study in 1998 (?!)

That alone should bring the citing into question

Kellermann, A. et al. "Injuries and Deaths Due to Firearms in the Home." Journal of Trauma-Injury Infection & Critical Care 45:263-267, August 1998.


Also published in NEJM.

 
Lee451 2008-05-11 07:57:22 AM  
His only mistake was not to kill her then claim self defense (getting stabby on your own arm or leg isn't that painful and he was already bitten). Thus he released another criminal back into society where she will spend a few months behind bars and then prey upon others. Bad citizen!
Then again, he could demand she be examined for signs of rabies....


The Right to Own Weapons if The Right to be Free

 
TheFlannelAvenger 2008-05-11 07:57:54 AM  
She's lucky she just got beaned with pliers. Seriously, I do not get you anti gun people. This was an ideal case for a homeowner to be packing and defend themselves. I, and just about everyone I knew growing up had loaded, unlocked, shotguns, rifles and handguns in every home. Class of '95 did not end up psycho killers. This case is exactly why everyone should be required to learn firearm safety early, often, and treat guns as what they are, a tool, and nothing more.

/packs for work
//not a cop
///repo man and intarweb tough guy

 
YixilTesiphon 2008-05-11 07:58:12 AM  
The Rest Are Bait: King Something: Suicidal Writer: [Castle Law pics]

THESE

When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. Carry concealed.


THIS THIS THIS.

And yes, shiat happens. Sorry about that. Shiat will always happen.

 
cyber_slacker 2008-05-11 08:01:52 AM  
She's hot. The 77 year old man should get her off. I mean let her off.

No I don't.

Do they have seperate jails for elves?

Mirkwood23

What kind of height is 502? Does that mean 5'2"?

 
Wodheila 2008-05-11 08:02:23 AM  

BP It'll be a long, long time before guns kept for "self-defense" ever end up with more killings of intruders than accidental deaths of family members.


I'm willing to wait!


 
uttertosh 2008-05-11 08:03:32 AM  
Mirkwood23: Are you sure you hit it?

(new window)


yes, yes I would. (btw - why did you bother shooping da woop with the photo?)

 
Dangerzone1223 2008-05-11 08:04:02 AM  
i31.tinypic.comwww.astro.uni-bonn.de

 
Spirit Hammer 2008-05-11 08:05:54 AM  

 
Yankees Team Gynecologist 2008-05-11 08:08:24 AM  
TheFlannelAvenger: Seriously, I do not get you anti gun people. This was an ideal case for a homeowner to be packing and defend themselves. I, and just about everyone I knew growing up had loaded, unlocked, shotguns, rifles and handguns in every home. Class of '95 did not end up psycho killers.

I, and just about everyone I knew growing up did not have any guns in the house. Class of '00 did not end up dead or harmed in any way, shape, or form.

I see the argument for having a loaded gun in the house, in the same way I see the argument for always wearing a bulletproof vest. There's no harm in it, and you never know when you might get shot at.

Or how about wearing a parachute at all times? Hey, you never know when you might have to fall or jump out of a high place.

Seriously, I see the point but it sounds like people are way more vocal about the topic than it deserves. Maybe I've just always lived in especially safe areas my whole life so I have no idea what the real risk is like.

 
PrincessOfPenguins 2008-05-11 08:12:55 AM  
Suicidal Writer: nice pics, but what use are those weapons when you can't even hold them correctly?

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-11 08:12:57 AM  
Spirit Hammer: I think I like this one better:
Can Owning a Gun Really Triple the Owner's Chances of Being Murdered? The Anatomy of an Implausible Causal Mechanism (new window)


That. Also, as to the Kellermann study and their seven murders / assaults per successful home defense, it doesn't appear that they differentiated crimes committed by a legal gun possessor with a legal gun from crimes committed by illegal possessors and/or with an illegal gun. In an article discussing the impact of legal gun ownership. Just a tad bit disingenuous.

 
Denzine 2008-05-11 08:14:06 AM  
bubbaprog:
Of 626 shootings in or around a residence in three U.S. cities revealed that, for every time a gun in the home was used in a self-defense or legally justifiable shooting, there were four unintentional shootings, seven criminal assaults or homicides, and 11 attempted or completed suicides (Kellermann et al, 1998).

All that says is that the crime rate is higher in the areas looked at than the rate at which gun owners are justifiably shooting criminals.

moar intellectual dishonesty plz, i loevs it

 
RoyBatty 2008-05-11 08:15:03 AM  
At the least she deserved a UFIA.

 
rumpelstiltskin 2008-05-11 08:16:38 AM  
Bathia_Mapes:
That being said, someone needs to give either article's author or her editor a spell check program. It's aggravating when they don't pay better attention.


If I were her editor, I'd be to busy trying to bang her to worry about her spelling. Just like I'm sure all her teachers were, too.

 
KeatingFive 2008-05-11 08:17:00 AM  
These old people didn't have a gun, and they took out the intruder. Why do you pussies need a gun? Can't take out a GIRL without a gun?

Wimps. But I gues it's natural - "pro-gun" freaks tend to be Republican, and Republicans tend to be scared gay nancy-boys.

 
wombatsrus 2008-05-11 08:19:29 AM  
on221.files.wordpress.com

Would have been able to approve - if he had had a gun instead of a machete.

 
hbk72777 2008-05-11 08:19:52 AM  
"Mason-Suares is charged with armed burglary, aggrivated battery on a person over 65"


I'll have to remember that the next time I feel the urge to assault an old man.

 
werbito 2008-05-11 08:20:46 AM  
Just because some idiots do idiotic things with guns shouldn't mean someone else who "knows better" needs to take them away.

Are you going to outlaw wearing a bulletproof vest or parachute at all times? Exactly.

I agree, too many people get excited about it for no reason.

 
diageneticmind 2008-05-11 08:25:50 AM  
the forning touk dude, I so want to change my name to Ingeborg Funk.

this

 
Maximum Leader 2008-05-11 08:26:00 AM  
bubbaprog: Up until her husband comes home early and tries not to wake her up as he moves through the house. Oops! Dead husband. It'll be a long, long time before guns kept for "self-defense" ever end up with more killings of intruders than accidental deaths of family members.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who act stupid when they're frightened. Instead of taking a flashlight along when they investigate that mysterious noise at 3am, they run around their house thinking of every dumb thing they've ever seen in a movie, shooting at shadows and noises. Bullets addressed to whom it may concern.

They say you'll never rise to the occasion in a life or death conflict, but sink to the level of your training. If you're going to keep a weapon for home defense then (IMHO) you're morally obligated to receive training, be proficient with your weapon and not act like a thundering jackass.

But hey, that's just my $.02

 
Tizzle McMizzle 2008-05-11 08:26:14 AM  
I never understood the fuss over a projectile launcher. That said, I support the Second Amendment, if only for the reason it was originally created: to keep a crooked government from forcefully subjugating its citizens.

I also think that the people who are most adamant about the Second Amendment seem to be the ones who aren't very concerned with the gradual erosion of the First. But that's an argument for another thread...

 
Masterstuff 2008-05-11 08:30:09 AM  
Why can I picture her yelling, "SNEAK ATTAAACK!!" ?

/wonders if anyone will remember that video

 
dstanley 2008-05-11 08:32:10 AM  
KeatingFive: Wimps. But I gues it's natural - "pro-gun" freaks tend to be Republican, and Republicans tend to be scared gay nancy-boys.

2/10.

 
sonofagunn 2008-05-11 08:33:03 AM  
From the St Pete Times article:

"When you are in my house, I am the master of my house," said Funk, a native of Germany who has lived on 123rd Street N in Seminole 20 years. "You don't leave me. You don't get away."

 
Maximum Leader 2008-05-11 08:34:39 AM  
sonofagunn: From the St Pete Times article:

"When you are in my house, I am the master of my house," said Funk, a native of Germany who has lived on 123rd Street N in Seminole 20 years. "You don't leave me. You don't get away."


It puts the lotion on it's skin?

 
chaosweaver 2008-05-11 08:35:07 AM  
KeatingFive: These old people didn't have a gun, and they took out the intruder. Why do you pussies need a gun? Can't take out a GIRL without a gun?

Wimps. But I gues it's natural - "pro-gun" freaks tend to be Republican, and Republicans tend to be scared gay nancy-boys.


Most of the time, it's not some strung-out meth head of a girl that comes bursting through your doors or windows trying to steal your shiat. few people NEED guns, but it really does help to take some of the risk of losing a fight with the perp out of the equation.

/Doesn't own a Personal Firearm.
//Has a sharpened, clean sword in each room I frequent in my home.
///knows how to use them.
//Has used them in defense.
///Slashies

 
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