submitter: Wait till she gets the bill

Very nice, Subby.

I think your pun broke my neck, subby.

Well done.

/should never have taken a beak at that headline

WTF? The bird died!

Aztec: WTF? The bird died!

It was a Brief Pelican.

Awesome, a greenlit headline that uses fowl language.

Aztec: WTF? The bird died!

Now she can say she killed a large seabird with her face. That's hardcore.

Kinda.

Come on, pelican!

Ohoho, subby! You're a clever one!

Let's go get chinese food.

I'll get the duck, you get the bill...

I get it!!!
(teh joke, that iz, nawt teh poo-naneah)....

i's a sad, lonely, AW-feeding fapper...

This chick should have dove out of the way, or at least ducked. But now she's pigeon to the media about her flocking injuries. I'm guessing she'll sue the city as she's too chicken to go back to the beach. It's a hard pill to swallow, but she needs to crow a pair and get back owl there.

Boobies.

We have a WINNAR!!!1!

pelican't.

Submitted this with: "Mother Nature now resorting to kamikaze attacks to cleanse Florida", but this story had already been submitted and greenlighted.

Why would a dead pelican require 25 stitches? Was this in addition to the 20 stitches required by the vacationing swimmer?

On the plus side, the word bill has two meanings in this headline!

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it by the fire until its bill withers.

The bird died? Her face must've been 25 miles of bad road.

The punchline is: The bird died.

I find this strangely hilarious, in that:
A) That the writer felt the need to include this fact in the article
B) That woman must've had quite the hard head?

THAT'S a story to pass on to the grandkids!

Golf clap!!!1

You killed a pelican with your FACE? That is so hardcore.

She even made employee of the month after killing that pelican with her FACE!

/everyone was pretty jealous of her after that
//she was getting a lot of attitude

Wait... why did the pelican need stitches?

YixilTesiphon: Submitted this with: "Mother Nature now resorting to kamikaze attacks to cleanse Florida", but this story had already been submitted and greenlighted.

I submitted this with Runtled grazbar fecks sopwith jondersil

I guess the weaker headline takes it.
+1 subby

I, for one, welcome our new dive-bombing pelican overlords

My redlit (and rightfully so) submission bows to subby.

Yeah, subby!

What are these goddamn animals: Come on, pelican!

That's what I came in to see...

darkhorse23: unavailable for comment

Damn you! You stealth bomber'd the heck out of this one.

Wow. I have always enjoyed watching the pelicans at the beach so I find it scary that this kind of thing could happen.

Not particularly effective against an insurgency.

A curious bird is the pelican,
His beak can hold more than his belly can.....and he can also fark you up real bad.

/I wonder if it had a flavour
//Bleedin' seabird bleedin' flavour!

I laughed so hard. I've killed a robin and a blue bird with my face before, but a pelican. That's so gauche.

ok the second lie in a head line this morning. the article says 20 stitches, the ahole submitter lies and states 25.

look at the lyer submitter inthe shark article. liars.

/and ive already had my nap for the day.

Approves.

it wasn't the fish odor lady that got dive bombed on was it? that funk could confuse a pelican I'm sure

pelicowned?

Pics or it didn't happen.

/seriously, I want to see

Maybe she was wearing these.

dstanley: My redlit (and rightfully so) submission bows to subby.

Thanks mang ;)

+1 jemas, pelican is the shiat

Obligatory.

Wasn't the lady killed by the stingray about 55?

Attention ladies over 50, the ocean critters are making it clear, the don't want you there!

Only 25 stitches?

Fooshards

Foehammer, is that you?

Pelicans scare me. Though I'm not sure why, I've never been hurt or even chased by one before. (Unlike those evil geese that live in the parking lot at work.)

Everytime I see anything having to do with a pelican, it reminds me of an old children's peom my grandma use to recite to me.

"The reason for the pelican is quite difficult to see
for his beak is clearly larger than there's any need to be
It's not to bail a boat with, he doesn't own a boat
yet everywhere he takes himself he has that beak to tote
It's not to keep his wife in
his wife has got one too
It's not a scoop for eating soup
It's not an extra shoe
It isn't quite for anything
and yet you realize
It's really quite a splendid beak, in quite a splendid size."

Subby did a good job of winging it with the headline. Nothing to create a flap about.

trained attack pelicans (new window)

although I feel I must add, I would be rolling on the ground, laughing if I saw a pelican fly into, or even chomp on someone. (So long as it wasn't me.)

//I'm proud to be evil//

Last New Year's Eve my hubby and I were racing to the car after a casual dinner party. He was carrying a leftover chicken breast in a ziplock bag and trying to use the remote to unlock the car. Next thing I saw was him laying on the ground, sprawled out on a patch of ice. And the bag of chicken was half way across the parking lot.
Of course I kept running. Then I turned around and checked on the chicken before asking if he was okay. (In my own defense he was moving and breathing when I ran past) He was fine, but the ziplock portion of the bag was still in his hand and the chicken was covered in muddy snow.

I guess the part that made me laugh for two hours afterwards was when he got into the car, grabbed the phone and called the host. "We left the chicken in your parking lot. Happy New Year."