Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament.

Um, yeah.


The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

In other words, they wanted the money without the whole "sex with a minor" thing.

FTA: Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay.

Classic. Growth-defect in a traveling circus FTW though...

"Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician."

hahahaha
texas
go figure

I don't see what the problem is there.

Kome: I don't see what the problem is there.

Dad's pissed he didn't share, I guess.

Kome: I don't see what the problem is there.

Well, I did some stupid shiat when I was 13, but if I'd pulled a stunt like this on dad's credit card, he would have been PISSED.

I'm pretty sure that even at 13, I would've found better use for a couple of hookers than to play XBox ...

Crap, didn't even think of the obvious Todd jokes.

Damn, damn, damn.

Kudos for "Dr Pepper".

/the period doesn't exist

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

This.

Please tell me this is an Onion link in disguise.

Lets be honest though...at 13 what else would you probably do with a hooker? Any sort of contact with them would probably make you crap yourself.

kinuman: Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

This.

he's starting a little early on the sex scandals, now isn't he?

FTFA
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

My dad would've farking killed me for returning the car with an empty tank, this kid runs up $30K in credit card charges and gets a trip to Disneyland out of it?
/off my lawn
//only 26

Agrees;

You'd think the kid would've used some of that money to buy a 360 and Halo 3.

/I'm sorry, sir, I'm going to need to see some ID
//But I'm 33.
///I'm sorry, it's the law.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Sex. You're doin' it wrong.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

Fraud? Check. Hookers? Check. Inability to find his d!ck with two hands? Check.

Kid has a bright future in politics, for sure.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk,

Damn Farking NARK delivery stooge.

/If ya wanna be a dirty cop, Go to Meter Maid school.

-1 subby for "do you: c.)"

It doesn't work with this headline.

They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

And everyone knows hookers always adhere to the letter of the law.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament.

i call shenanigans. no one who plays WoW likes escort quests.

and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers

you're doing it...right, actually.

/stay away from those hookers, kid.
//bang yourself a gal from the bar for free

Bill it to Santos L. Halper.

1000 a night girls and they played halo with them? I play halo for free all the time.

/ May be i should start charging

Get Lost

Damn Farking NARK delivery stooge.

This

for 30k even at 13 I would have done whole lot differently.

of course when I was 13 the atari 2600 still selling in stores.

I pong the hell of out those hookers

slipperyrockdawg: FTFA
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

My dad would've farking killed me for returning the car with an empty tank, this kid runs up $30K in credit card charges and gets a trip to Disneyland out of it?
/off my lawn
//only 26

Yes.... but your dad likely loved you, put your interests ahead of those of his job, and remembered your birthday. Two hookers and a farking pizza delivery guy care more about this kid than his own dad.

burndtdan wins with the 100% truth in his post.

Well, if the hookers had agreed to knock boots, wouldn't they be up for child molestation charges?

Paid $1000 to play Halo? Where do I sign up?

namatad: "Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician."

hahahaha
texas
go figure

More like a Bill Clinton wanna-be

These Fark headlines are getting worse and worse.

These are the lamest 13 year olds in the world.

kmmontandon: I'm pretty sure that even at 13, I would've found better use for a couple of hookers than to play XBox ...

I never understood this new-fangled euphemisms...

I say the kid is on the right track to realize his dream of becoming a politician:

Spending other people money on hookers and games that is.

ultraholland: /stay away from those hookers, kid.
//bang yourself a gal from the bar for free

there is no such thing as free sex.

burndtdan: Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament.

i call shenanigans. no one who plays WoW likes escort quests.

You are my hero.

/I laughed, its true
//my roommate is a little worried about me now
///slashies!

Arthur Jumbles: slipperyrockdawg:
Yes.... but your dad likely loved you, put your interests ahead of those of his job, and remembered your birthday. Two hookers and a farking pizza delivery guy care more about this kid than his own dad.

I guess it's unclear to me as well whether the dad promised the trip before or after he found out about the fraud. My initial reading was,
Reporter Guy: "Sir, your son ran up $30K in bills on your credit card claiming you forgot his birthday"
Lawyer Dad: "Yes, well, I will be taking him to Disneyland later"

I guess it makes more sense that the Disney trip was a part of the kid's story. "Well dad won't mind because he forgot my birthday but then said he'd take me to Disney later, which would've been around $30K for my pampered ass, so we'll call it square"

what, they didn't play grand theft auto 4? that's just sad.

something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Damn!...that's where he lost the tag

i call shenanigans. no one who plays WoW likes escort quests.

this!

I would have been playing "Y" box all night long. If I was too young to get a stiffy....I would use my arm....You only live once...

Oh man...

I'm just imagining now what my Dad would have done to me had I used his card to hire hookers and play Xbox...

That kid is one bold motherfarker

slipperyrockdawg: Arthur Jumbles: slipperyrockdawg:
Yes.... but your dad likely loved you, put your interests ahead of those of his job, and remembered your birthday. Two hookers and a farking pizza delivery guy care more about this kid than his own dad.

I guess it's unclear to me as well whether the dad promised the trip before or after he found out about the fraud. My initial reading was,
Reporter Guy: "Sir, your son ran up $30K in bills on your credit card claiming you forgot his birthday"
Lawyer Dad: "Yes, well, I will be taking him to Disneyland later"

I guess it makes more sense that the Disney trip was a part of the kid's story. "Well dad won't mind because he forgot my birthday but then said he'd take me to Disney later, which would've been around $30K for my pampered ass, so we'll call it square"

I read that as the dad realized that he had forgotten the kid's birthday and was secretly planning a trip to Disney for the kid. In the midst of that secret planning, the kid swiped the card and rang up a bunch of charges. Perhaps the kid won't get the disney trip now?

RE: Above - Just now noticed that picture is actually not of my father, but an extremely masculine woman.

My bad.

this qualifies for the HERO tag. kids a slick one, im impressed.

HALO=Hookers And bLOw?