If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(KARE-11) Sick Grandma passes away at home. Do you: C) Prop her up on the only toilet in the house for two months while you pray for her resurrection and force the kiddies to use a pail and shovel?   (kare11.com) divider line 153
More: Sick  

153 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
Suicidal Writer 2008-05-10 06:27:02 AM  
They say Bushey told them demons were making it appear that Middlesworth was dead, and that if her death was discovered, the children would be sent to public school and be forced to get jobs.


The article reads as if it should be on The Onion. I wonder if mental illness is at play.

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 06:31:59 AM  
Suicidal Writer: I wonder if mental illness is at play.

There is. It's called "religion."

*logs off due to end of nightshift*

 
bigpeeler [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 06:48:22 AM  
C).

 
Gobobo 2008-05-10 07:35:44 AM  
Religion is a mental illness? Not quite. Yes it's illogical but not everyone's Spock.

 
Sgt Otter [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 07:38:22 AM  
What was A) and B) ?

 
Suicidal Writer 2008-05-10 07:44:45 AM  
Gobobo: Religion is a mental illness? Not quite. Yes it's illogical but not everyone's Spock.

When people seriously say that it's a mental illness, they are usually pointing out that when a single person or small group of people do the same thing or similar things as the religious they are considered mentally ill or as a cult.

What do you say to someone that honestly believes that hell exists and people that don't believe in the "right" things will be sent there to suffer? As I've grown older, I discovered it was never the belief that revealed the person. It was the fact that they believed it and still chose to side with the perpetrator of a cosmic holocaust. Ideas have consequences.

One of the common definitions of mental illness is that it's supposed to somehow affect quality of life. That's a bit iffy when the power in society rests with a group that may be mentally ill (not saying they are) and, therefore, define normalcy.

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 07:55:39 AM  
All of the above.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 08:02:24 AM  
Sounds like these folk got their Faulkner mixed up with their Monty Python.

 
keyboarderror 2008-05-10 08:27:17 AM  
Well, it was her time to go, I guess.

 
HoneyDog 2008-05-10 08:27:32 AM  
I'm not dead yet.
Seriously, I'm getting better.
I don't want to go on the cart.

 
Neritai 2008-05-10 08:28:00 AM  
She's not quite dead?

 
acchief 2008-05-10 08:28:49 AM  
They say Bushey told them demons were making it appear that Middlesworth was dead, and that if her death was discovered, the children would be sent to public school and be forced to get jobs.

No, demons were making it appear that Middlesworth was alive.

 
BalugaJoe 2008-05-10 08:29:23 AM  
Grandma trifecta in play?

 
chaosweaver 2008-05-10 08:29:45 AM  
I've been waiting for a while to use this one.

i52.photobucket.com

keyboarderror: Well, it was her time to go, I guess.

/I lol'd

 
AgentPothead 2008-05-10 08:31:29 AM  
Did you see what god just did to us man?
God didn't do it, you did it. You're a farkin narcotics agent, I knew it!

 
billy_chuck 2008-05-10 08:31:59 AM  
A grandma trifecta for mother's day?

 
Tabatha Static 2008-05-10 08:32:28 AM  
i27.photobucket.com

"It makes no sense to me and I'm getting out! I'm alive and I want to remain with the living. And when I'm dead, I'll want to remain with the dead. I hope that's clear."

 
That_Bob_Guy 2008-05-10 08:33:56 AM  
Sgt Otter: What was A) and B) ?

A) Chop her up and feed her to the dog

B) Plasticize her and use her as a very elaborate toilet paper holder

 
Sir_Spanksalot 2008-05-10 08:34:40 AM  
Im Lazarus and im getting a kick........meh... you'r doing it wrong!

 
That_Bob_Guy 2008-05-10 08:35:42 AM  
keyboarderror: Well, it was her time to go, I guess.

You owe my company one keyboard AND one LCD monitor.

 
beoswulf 2008-05-10 08:37:07 AM  
A man, woman and two teenage children apparently shared a house [...]

The deputy ordered Lewis to take both of her children, ages 12 and 15, out of the house, due to the smell.
Police also interviewed the teenagers


twelveteen?
/"You keep using that word..."

 
Son of Thunder 2008-05-10 08:38:09 AM  
TFA: At least one of the adults in the house insisted the dead woman inside wasn't "fully dead," and that they could pray her back to life.

She was only MOSTLY dead.

www.fundamentalforums.com

 
roadkillontheweb 2008-05-10 08:39:39 AM  
Where is the part where they were still cashing her checks?

 
Carotid [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 08:41:18 AM  
Religion brings out all sorts of crazy all over the world.

 
HoneyDog 2008-05-10 08:42:20 AM  
LOL 12.fl.oz, now add "and forgot to fall over" to the end.

 
Fluffy_the_cactus 2008-05-10 08:43:35 AM  
I LOL'd at Peter Bushey....

 
stickitinyoureyeball 2008-05-10 08:45:13 AM  
HoneyDog: LOL 12.fl.oz, now add "and forgot to fall over" to the end.

50 points!

 
Waffle of Justice 2008-05-10 08:46:48 AM  
There is a whole lot of crazy in there...
www.kare11.com

 
Gobobo 2008-05-10 08:47:57 AM  
Suicidal Writer: What do you say to someone that honestly believes that hell exists and people that don't believe in the "right" things will be sent there to suffer? As I've grown older, I discovered it was never the belief that revealed the person. It was the fact that they believed it and still chose to side with the perpetrator of a cosmic holocaust. Ideas have consequences.

One of the common definitions of mental illness is that it's supposed to somehow affect quality of life. That's a bit iffy when the power in society rests with a group that may be mentally ill (not saying they are) and, therefore, define normalcy.


I admire people for having faith, it's not the easiest thing to do with your spare (ie not working) time. I'm guessing the thoughts that this time on Earth is all they've got before becoming nothing but plant nutrients, and that they battled with millions of other sperm to impregnate that egg are too much for them to handle, so accepting a philosophy like religion helps them get through their days.

I totally agree that many of those in power are mentally ill, some of the stuff you hear about them is weird, weirder still is that this sort of stuff is mundane and usual to them.

 
FauxNews 2008-05-10 08:48:09 AM  
Pray'n solves everything.

 
Chester the Snake 2008-05-10 08:49:00 AM  
roadkillontheweb: Where is the part where they were still cashing her checks?

That's the first thing I thought of, too. Those bastards.

 
SpectreJCB 2008-05-10 08:49:36 AM  
Son of Thunder: TFA: At least one of the adults in the house insisted the dead woman inside wasn't "fully dead," and that they could pray her back to life.

She was only MOSTLY dead.


I came for the Princess Bride references. I was not disappointed.

 
chesterburnette 2008-05-10 08:50:28 AM  
Carotid: Religion brings out all sorts of crazy all over the world.

No, crazy people are crazy about everything they do. If they're religious, they're crazy religious; if they're atheist, they're crazy atheist.

/'cuz they're crazy.
//it's the "crazy" part that matters, not the "religious."

 
dstanley 2008-05-10 08:51:20 AM  
keyboarderror: Well, it was her time to go, I guess.

Six pounds of win.

 
danar75 2008-05-10 08:51:46 AM  
affordablehousinginstitute.org

 
chaosweaver 2008-05-10 08:51:53 AM  
Waffle of Justice: There is a whole lot of crazy in there...

now give 'em the crazy eyes!

i265.photobucket.com

 
Pontus and the Nail Drivers 2008-05-10 08:53:06 AM  
nashBridges: Suicidal Writer: What do you say to someone that honestly believes that hell exists and people that don't believe in the "right" things will be sent there to suffer?

Why say anything? More importantly, why does it even matter to you?

I've never had a problem with the religious, the non-religious, and everybody else in between BECAUSE I DON'T FARKING CARE.

Seems to me more than a few farkers would lead happier lives if they followed the same path.


Ooooh, that's good stuff.

 
dstanley 2008-05-10 08:53:24 AM  
12.fl.oz.: Who used the bathroom last? Turn on the damn exhaust fan, it smells like somebody died in there.

HoneyDog: LOL 12.fl.oz, now add "and forgot to fall over" to the end.

*sniff* I love you guys so much.

 
maherite1977 2008-05-10 08:57:22 AM  
i19.photobucket.com
No?

 
LoadShark [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 08:59:27 AM  
Bring out your dead.

www.wastedworkday.com

 
T. Dawg 2008-05-10 09:01:19 AM  
Whew! I saw the Kare 11 and was shocked that this would happen in Minnesota. Then I saw it was Wisconsin, and it all made sense...

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:01:41 AM  
To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"

Prop up your dead Granny on the potty
Even though I know you want to grieve
You can say there's no such thing as Jesus
But as for me and Bishop, we believe.

She'd been getting pretty ancient
Still, she was so very dear
She forgot her medication
And she putrified and liquified that year


Prop up your dead Granny on the potty
Even though I know you want to grieve
You can say there's no such thing as Jesus
But as for me and Bishop, we believe.


Help me out here, folks!

 
7th Son of a 7th Son 2008-05-10 09:04:50 AM  
Dead grandma propping?

i16.photobucket.com

Approves.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:07:46 AM  
Marla Singer's Laundry: To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"

Prop up your dead Granny on the potty
Even though I know you want to grieve
You can say there's no such thing as Jesus
But as for me and Bishop, we believe.

She'd been getting pretty ancient
Still, she was so very dear
She forgot her medication
And she putrified and liquified that year


Prop up your dead Granny on the potty
Even though I know you want to grieve
You can say there's no such thing as Jesus
But as for me and Bishop, we believe.




When we found her Christmas mornin,'
Curled up from a heart attack.
She had voided in her panties,
And skid marks running up and down her back.

 
blazemongr 2008-05-10 09:08:59 AM  
King Something: *logs off due to end of nightshift*

You misspelled "summon Bevets," asshat.

 
Ni! [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:09:11 AM  
"Prop me up beside the poop box when I diiiieee...."

I am so terribly sorry, it just jumped into my brain and wouldn't leave.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:09:58 AM  
Ni!: "Prop me up beside the poop box when I diiiieee...."

I am so terribly sorry, it just jumped into my brain and wouldn't leave.


That's good! Get to work and finish it.

 
Ni! [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:11:01 AM  
That's good! Get to work and finish it.

Can't. Drugs. You rawk at it, have at!

 
skinink 2008-05-10 09:11:42 AM  
You better bury Grandma right! Better not go cuttin' up, nor otherwise harm no whores. Or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons-o-biatches.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-05-10 09:12:05 AM  
Ni!: That's good! Get to work and finish it.

Can't. Drugs. You rawk at it, have at!


Thx!

I will get the original and get to work

 
Displayed 50 of 153 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]