Subby should get a carbon credit for brain activity here!

I know a man from Limerick, so I'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Points for effort, subby. Not quite, though.

Does anyone remember who the dude was who used to do limericks for greenlighted stories like it was his friggin' job? I can't remember the name...

There once was a man from nantucket....

I wanted to come up with a limerick
but with it i couldn't stick
i gave up at four
i couldn't think of any more
so i gave up and called in sick

A grown man riding a farking pony?

I look like a basset, when long and flacid.
What am I?

/oops that was a riddle.
//never mind.

Almost, subby. One of the best attempts in some time. Take out the "just" in your first line and it works.

bigpeeler: There once was a man named Drew.
Who one day had nothing to do.
So he started this site.
Which turned out alright.
Let's salute him by having a brew.

nice.

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes.
One was so small it was no ball at all,
The other it won several prizes

There was a pony from Limerick,
Who's current rider was a hick.
He reared in the air like a half crazy mare,
And took the life of the prick.

The lim'rick packs laughs anatomical
Into a space economical.
It needn't be lewd,
Nor even be crude --
But the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Yeah, I know -- like this one, fer instance.

Pocket Ninja

Almost, subby. One of the best attempts in some time. Take out the "just" in your first line and it works.

Don't forget a comma.

/It was a trap!

Fair_Poopsmith: Points for effort, subby. Not quite, though.

Does anyone remember who the dude was who used to do limericks for greenlighted stories like it was his friggin' job? I can't remember the name...

Sher Khan. Yeah, his headlines were always excellent.

Pocket Ninja: Almost, subby. One of the best attempts in some time. Take out the "just" in your first line and it works.

Depends on whether you pronounce it "Lim-er-ick" or just "Lim-rick"

There was a submitter on Fark
Whose use of clichés missed the mark
His attempts were so sad
(like some Burger King ad)
But since he was a TotalFarker he was frequently greenlit anyway.

I came here for a Burma Shave reference.

/left disappointed

One night up near the Old Mill,
a man took a real nasty spill.
The shunt in his brain
couldn't make fluid drain,
and now we're all reading his will.

Fernik men her hatz rez ze bar
Zin ton sa hes tsal tsojidar
Io ha ratz mansoo
Gunon lan hormwoo
Ru sei txar ontuamai le par

There once was a poet named Dan
Whose poems would never quiet scan
When told this was so
He said, Yes I know
It's because I try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.

There once was a man near the old mill
while riding a horse he took a spill
At the age of forty and four
Death showed him the door
and now he is with us no more

Original_Iron_Chef: I came here for a Burma Shave reference.

/left disappointed

Burma Shave.

For da witty submitee:

A nice little rhyme you wrote dude,
And your pacing displays good aptitude.
But I am quite pissed,
The point you have missed.
A limerick should really be crude.

hardinparamedic: There once was a man from nantucket....

Who put all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
ran off with a man.
As for the bucket?
Nan took it.

Gulliver: There was a submitter on Fark
Whose use of clichés missed the mark
His attempts were so sad
(like some Burger King ad)
But since he was a TotalFarker he was frequently greenlit anyway.

Your lim-er-ick I read by chance.
In fact I just gave it a glance.
Though the cadence was wrong
Your humor was strong.
So much so that I crapped my pants.

Nantucket?

There once was a plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said, "Stop your plumbing...
"I hear someone coming,"
Replied the plumber, "Just me!"

The Onanist: Original_Iron_Chef: I came here for a Burma Shave reference.

/left disappointed

Burma Shave.

Thank you

/now, get off my lawn!!!

There once was a site called utvlive
That posted a story about being unalive
It was posted on fark
Then the site went dark
As the site wasn't setup to stay alive

There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said, What the hell
I'll get used to the smell
and think of all the money i'll save...

There once was a subby on fark
who had trouble counting syllables in the dark

There once was a man from Hong Hong
Who thought Limericks were too long.

/The End

Gah! Hong Kong!

/Preview before post damnit!

Limerickroll'd!

An tSaoi: There once was a man from Hong Hong
Who thought Limericks were too long.

/The End

Ouch. Damn, bro.

As far as I'm concerned this headline is right up there with "Win Win Sad Chun Asian". Saerious contenders for best headline, for sure.

TommyymmoT: A grown man riding a farking pony?

A pony and trap. That's one of those two-wheel cart things and that's what he fell out of for some reason.

There once was a gamer quite rude
when gaming, all others were screwed.
When asked "where you at?"
He'd just reply that
He's in your base killing your dudes.

there once was a man from Bel Air/ That was farking his wife on the stair/ Then the bannister broke/ So he quickened his stroke/ And finished her off in the air/

Its true Trebek, I went out and cut an album of dirty Limericks just so I could be back here again today.

TommyymmoT: A grown man riding a farking pony?

It's Limerick so he was probably a tinker - they fly around the place in their pony & traps.

I'm just back from a wedding in Limerick as chance would have it.

Unrelated, but an old family favorite.

There was a young man from South Wales
Who lived on Slug slime and Snails
When he had none of these
He lived on the cheese
That he scraped from his
nuts with his nails

/My Creative Writing Prof loved this so much he recited it to the class
//Miss that guy

There was a young lady from Tottenham
Who had no manners or else she'd forgotten 'em
At Tea at the Vicar's
She tore off her knickers
Because she explained she felt hot in 'em

/loves limericks
//got any more?

There once was a man from Perth
Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day;
And died when he quit-ted the Earth.

There once was a friend from K-Zoo
Who liked to put things where girls poo
With one up her ass
And two in the grass
He'd say "here's a shocker for you."

There once was a man from Dearborn
Whose girlfriend's mothers he'd warn
"I'm not into teasing
But sexual pleasing
And I promise no kids will be born."

The story you read was just fine,
But the greenlight it got was a crime,
Because no matter what you say,
I'll argue it all day,
I submitted this with a better headline.

I know this is a pointless comment, but I've got to tell you all how incredibly clever you are. Imagine finding a physical space with forty or so people who are capable of writing limericks on the spot that are actually funny, topical, insulting, sometimes employing structural changes as a part of a punchline making fun of someone else's mistake...

It wouldn't happen. Maybe a MENSA meeting. Maybe.

Bangin' your mom was a dream
Though unfortunately now it would seem
That I'm gonna get sick
Of those warts on my dick
Unless I use topical creme

/Look out up ahead, there's a truck changing lanes...
//Baseketball?
///I'm not funny.
//I still have a day job.

There once was a girl from St. Paul,
Who wore a newspaper dress to the ball...
The dress caught on fire and scorched her entire;
Front-page, sports section and all.

There once was a gal from Decatur
Who slept with a large alligator
But nobody knew
The results of that screw
Because after he ate her he ate her

There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods made her unstable
By the light of the moon
She would pick up a spoon
And drink herself under the table