If I wasn't so sick, I'd enjoy that.

Maybe Monica will finally be satisfied,

impressed:



"so tell me about your mother. ja ja... so is she hot?"

At just over 148 feet 9 inches, the thick stogie stretched like a long brown snake through a room and out its front and back windows...

Was this lifted from the last chapter of Ulysses? Or is it Penthouse Letters? I always get those two confused.

Kyosuke: Maybe Monica will finally be satisfied,

At least the cigar will taste good.

And now, for no particular reason taken from a recent Fark green light about overcompensation, the world's longest cigar at just over 148 feet, 9 inches

+1 on the green, Subby. I never hate the player, just the game.

Instant Cancer. Hooray!

Now if that was a joint I'd be interested

close, but no

what's it an Itsaboy?

fark. its too early. let's try this again even though I farked it up

was it an Itsaboy?

/unavailable for comment

/Impressed

Trailer hitches everywhere heave a sigh of relief.

TFA: Continued...

Nope, closed.

Approves.

Clicked on the link, thinking "It'd better be Cuban." Was glad to see it was. Best damn cigar I ever had was a Cohiba. Pure bliss.

I miss my giant crack rock from Fear Factor

Cigars are breath fresheners for people that eat shiat.

Penis!

FTFA
Breaking the record was a point of pride for Cubans, whose cigars are considered among the world's best.

"The best in the world, no?" said the cigar's smiling, ash-stained roller, Jose Castelar Cairo, better known as Cueto.

. . . get it straight Jose. Best or not?

wow, wouldn't the bottom 148 feet or so be incredibly bitter and acrid from being dried and overheated from the smoke?

More like 148 feet and 6 inches....

I wonder how long it would take me to smoke that thing?

sometimes a cigar is not a cigar
... sometimes it's a BIG BROWN DICK!

There is a link to make the pic full size? WTF?? Like anyone really has a 149 foot monitor.

Mongo cut wood: Approves.

I was going to post that pic using the Crocodile Dundee line.

That's not a cigar. THAT's a cigar.

Apparently, Fark doesn't like me posting. So here goes again.



/Not a Cigar
/But is Monica-Lewinsky-like

mines bigger.


"Never smoke anything bigger than your penis, as this may incite witticisms from former bedroom partners." - P.J.O'Rourke

I gotta believe that thing doesn't draw very well.

I came here for the Bill and Monica posts, and I am not disappointed.

"It's not just a cigar, it's a smoke."

/get off my lawn

I came to say at that length only Monica Lewinski or a porn starlette would be able to smoke it. Would be about the same as sucking a golf ball through a 50' garden hose.

/Got nothing
//So how is Monica's ex-boyfriend's wife doing these days?

Approves this thread!

But how long is it gonna take to smoke that SOB?

Why's this grand cigar so pricey?

Well, as you can see, its wrapper is a piece of the original US Constitution. It was hand rolled by Queen Elizabeth during her 'wild' years, and was buried with George Burns until grave-robbing space mushrooms... eh, well, you know the rest.

Cool! Oh...it's tobacco? What a waste of good wrapper. Get some real smoke, pussies.

Meanwhile, in the next room, a team from Arby's was making the World's Biggest Roast Beef Sandwich.

Say...Monica Lewinsky is looking pretty good these days!

Insert additional Clinton/Lewinski joke here

/Insert

ok, but how are you supposed to smoke it? i mean there's no way you could smoke that whole thing in one sitting without vomitting before you even reached the one-quarter mark. and have you ever smoked part of a cigar, let it go out, then tried to smoke the rest later? it tastes like what i imagine dumping an ashtray full of week-old tappings into your mouth would taste like. the only real option i see is to cut the 148 foot cigar into lots of smaller cigars, but then that defeats the purpose of rolling a 148 foot cigar, doesn't it?

That's a fire hazard.

nathimuspr1me: ok, but how are you supposed to smoke it? i mean there's no way you could smoke that whole thing in one sitting without vomitting before you even reached the one-quarter mark. and have you ever smoked part of a cigar, let it go out, then tried to smoke the rest later? it tastes like what i imagine dumping an ashtray full of week-old tappings into your mouth would taste like. the only real option i see is to cut the 148 foot cigar into lots of smaller cigars, but then that defeats the purpose of rolling a 148 foot cigar, doesn't it?

I can vouch that smoking a cigar thats been put out is no where near as bad as eating a cigar thats been put out...

Still impressed.

No Giant Bender references yet? For shame, Fark, for shame.

mooseyfate: No Giant Bender references yet? For shame, Fark, for shame.

Ask, and Ye shall receive.


/Now, bite my shiny metal ass!