FTComments: yea...I agree...time for the aliens to come and blow us all back to atoms and let the dolphins take over. I just got back from traveling and there is no place with people that is worthwhile

I really hate people like this. If you feel this strongly about it, then move to the wilderness and leave society alone. Most of us are trying to have a good time.

The same reasons why we are totally screwed, people, are the same reasons why there is hope. For every person creating problems, there are those that are committed to solving these problems. Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

The "Europe" section is straight out of an Eddie Izzard bit ...

Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Pocket Ninja: There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Wall of text for the win

Pocket Ninja: Examples include being an atheist, Check.
liking X beer, Guinness.
being Libertarian, Kinda sorta check.
not living in the suburbs, Rural.
liking Apple, Apple's OK.
and too many other measures to count

Woohoo, I'm worth something!

Car_Ramrod:

I really hate people like this.

And therein lies your problem.

HE FORGOT POLAND!

JPJ007: Woohoo, I'm worth something!

Well, not yet. You need to firmly establish in your mind that being an Atheistic, sometimes-Libertarian Guinness drinker who lives in the country and casually enjoys Apple products is the absolute shining ideal of the Alpha human. Hold everyone you meet up against this construct, and when they fail to live up to some element of it, dismiss them outright.

Pocket Ninja: Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

After I did all that I realized that I didn't even like me all that much.

It's easy to complain about problems in the world, but it's even easier to shut the fark up.


Please go red. That ass doesn't deserve the exposure.

I enjoy the inclusion of "Get a Brain, Morans" guy.

Suicidal Writer: Car_Ramrod:

I really hate people like this.

And therein lies your problem.

How so?

Thanks, that was .... depressing

That read like a summary of every post on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

Manta537: HE FORGOT POLAND!

heh

Pocket Ninja: Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Jesus was an extra-terrestrial.

So which FARKer's blog are we plugging now?

Car_Ramrod:

How so?

I completely forgot the point I was supposed to be making. I can't stand the detoxification process. It farks up my memory.

I see what you did there mods.....

>.>

Either I don't get farce, or the writer of TFA appears to be a bit of a twit.
I want my five minutes back.

Um, OK, so the point is, I guess, things are bad. And, things are not going to get better.

So, what are our options at this point?
1. Suicide. Been there, tried that, not worth the NG tube.
2. Party like it's the millennium over again. Hard to do when you're past 40.
3. Enjoy life and try to minimize impact on the rest of the world.
4. Retreat into the wilderness and live on roots and roadkill.

Meh, I'll go with option #3. I'm just not into angst like I was when I was 18.

Sep-fecta in play?

He forgot about Dre.

Szech: It's easy to complain about problems in the world, but it's even easier to shut the fark up.


Please go red. That ass doesn't deserve the exposure.

Dumbass. I spent a lot of time working with Indians and people from the Middle East in 2001. I spent a lot of time learning about Islam and the political framework in place over there. I spent a lot MORE time with them after 9/11, trying to understand things from other points of view. Because of this, I came away with a completely different point of view and was shouted down for it whenever I spoke up in the company of 'typical Americans' (as my friends called them).

I sure wish more would have learned about the situation abroad and spoken up. We *might* have avoided the cluster fark we are in now.

8) The "7 reasons" trifecta was way too much work for far too little result.

Okay I'll bite, did anyone rtfa? I know I didn't.

Newbaca: Okay I'll bite, did anyone rtfa? I know I didn't.

Yes. And Antarctica is going to cause the sharp, pointy, furry cute things in Australia to attack us, carrying a parasitic bug with it that makes its home in human brains. fark that I'm off to Europe.

This article is a wiseass diatribe, full of every sort of nonsensical cliche. It has no business being posted to a sophisticated, civilized discussion such as Fark.

Newbaca: Okay I'll bite, did anyone rtfa? I know I didn't.

Glanced through it. Every continent is farked.

Pocket Ninja:
There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Is this surprising to you? The most basic anthropological drives are to survive and mate. Every single thing we do is aimed at one of those two functions. Of course each individual is going to fight with everything they have to promote their own particular superior statistics as the legitimate arbiter of attraction. Eggheads get mad when women like guys with big muscles. Meatheads get mad when women like guys with money. We're all just biatching because we want to get laid.

We'd solve a lot of problems if we stopped electing big business-humping warmongers to our top offices, for one thing.

It's really not that hard to do.

Tommy Moo: Is this surprising to you? The most basic anthropological drives are to survive and mate. Every single thing we do is aimed at one of those two functions. Of course each individual is going to fight with everything they have to promote their own particular superior statistics as the legitimate arbiter of attraction. Eggheads get mad when women like guys with big muscles. Meatheads get mad when women like guys with money. We're all just biatching because we want to get laid.

Agreed.

Pocket Ninja: Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

I knit my own clothes out of recycled pet hair, so I'm really getting a kick out of this reply...

JPJ007: Pocket Ninja: Examples include being an atheist, Check.
liking X beer, Guinness.
being Libertarian, Kinda sorta check.
not living in the suburbs, Rural.
liking Apple, Apple's OK.
and too many other measures to count

Woohoo, I'm worth something!

guinness isn't beer. I don't even drink and I know that

Mr. Anon: Pocket Ninja: Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Jesus was an extra-terrestrial.

QFT

Someone please tell me the author of TFA was getting paid by the word. It's the only logical explanation for what I just witnessed.

Pocket Ninja: Car_Ramrod: Stop with the cryptic, anti-social, cynical, "humans are a pitiful species" crap, and do something useful, or GTFO.

There are vast swaths of humanity, many of whom post here regularly, who are only capable of masking their underlying feelings of self-loathing, emptiness, and social disconnection by defining an arbitrary Measure of Merit that they just so happen to meet as the most important factor in determining whether a person is worth something. Examples include being an atheist, liking X beer, being Libertarian, not living in the suburbs, liking Apple, and too many other measures to count. Once the Measure of Merit is determined, one can then begin to pronounce judgment on anybody else who doesn't happen to rise to it. If, down the line, one makes the unhappy discovery that their Measure of Merit isn't exclusive enough, they can, happily, modify it until any possible challenge to their carefully nurtured sense of self-worth is eliminated. For example, liking Apple products may not be sufficient to prop up an especially fragile ego; it may be necessary to add the caveats that the Apple products must be self-assembled. Through a continual process of narrowing and refinement, anybody can become their own ideal. Try it. You might be surprised.

Dude, fark you and anyone else that posts that much text. I really wish there was a camp we could send people like you.

This article is full of fail.

Well.. this was odd. The killer koala thing reminded me of something though. One of my Australian friends is a firefighter, and she informed me of this delightful factoid: Koala's are explosively flamable. All that plant oil they eat makes their fur slick with liquid firestarter and she swore up and down if you flick a match at one they will actually blow up.

Can anybody confirm this? It would certainly make up for the deadly claws if they've got an evolutionairy defect like.. uhh.. explosionness.

I really wish I hadn't read that. The part about Australia did amuse me, and I did agree with his take on China having the Olympics this year (no one saw that as a problem?), but his stance on USA = Bad made me want to deck him. Especially in the Europe section where he continued to bash this country.

Look, it's not perfect, but it's never going to be Europe or Canada, and that's a great thing. I don't agree with European values, not everyone should go to college (we need someone to flip burgers and dig ditches, and we'll always need mechanics), who gives a crap how many languages you farking speak (since I have no plans to ever leave this country, there is no reason to learn another language), it does make since for Europeans to learn 7 languages because there are so many different languages on that little continent, and there will be until the E.U. goes to the extreme of creating one European language (the smart money would be on English, since it's pretty much accepted as a universal language, most Europeans speak it and it's the national language of several Europeans nations, unlike French, which isn't spoken much outside of France, but the E.U. is anything but smart, so it might be French or Dutch).

While I am on this topic, I hate people like Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton, and others who see it as their mission from God to turn the U.S. into another European clone. Our ancestors left that continent for a reason, and they'd be spinning in their graves today if they knew what was going on.

If I can go on a rant....I think it's quite interesting this newfound interest in Europe. I lived in Spain for close to a year and met a lot of ex-pats out there. Many of my friends from college graduated and went straight back - some to England, some to Germany, some to Spain, and some to France. Not for good pay, but they would go just because it was so much better. Hell, I'm trying to go back myself; I'm just a selfish prick and plan to go on the dime of my large multinational corporation with questionable ethics rather than go be an Au Pair or teach English to Spaniards.

The point is, it makes me wonder. Why the change? In the '90s, Europe was a funny place to go vacation. Living there was out of the question. "What, you want to go to die waiting for healthcare in a poor-ass socialist hellhole?" Something has changed...So I started looking back on our history. Look at the times when ex-pats have become a huge part of the American experience in the last hundred years. First was the 1920s; second was the late 1950s into the 1960s. Look at the things that were happening during those times: They both happened immediately during the period following war, newfound 'faith' in morality, and a complete lack of societal upheaval in the United States - we're talking a period of complete acceptance of the status quo. From 1917-1925, the story was 'just do what you're told, and you'll be happy.' 1945-1957, 'just do what you're told, and you'll be happy.' Rules on drinking. Rules about behavior. Careful attention to the freedom of the people to limit it to specific paths; two and a half kids and a jalopy out front of the ranch-style house.

People wanted to get away. They needed to get away. Europe was thriving during those times; it was the place to be, to be where the action was, where the world's future was being decided.

So I ask, is it not the same today? We're in a country where opposing the war makes you unpatriotic. We're in a country where you are told to work harder and harder for the same pay, because it's the American way. We're in a country where the powers that be subvert and lie to people to disrupt the democratic process.

Are we due for another exodus of young Americans from this country? Is it time we just throw our hands up in despair and simply leave?

I think this election will be the tipping point for many.

F**King FANTASTIC that only NOW are Dems seeing the Clintons as the wiser Reps have been seeing them for decades.

Welcome to the club, naifs!

Great Janitor: While I am on this topic, I hate people like Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton, and others who see it as their mission from God to turn the U.S. into another European clone. Our ancestors left that continent for a reason, and they'd be spinning in their graves today if they knew what was going on.

Yeah, those prudes left Europe because they were pissed at all the freaky European sex and boozing that was going on. They thought it would corrupt their precious snowflake children, so they packed up ships and came here to start the American Taliban. I personally think we should perhaps reconsider blind loyalty to the freaks that had to leave Europe for being too insanely pious. We're talking the same people who call themselves 'evangelicals' today. Gah!

#2 = yummy (nasty picture, do not open if you have a weak stomach)

anyone find that brain worm picture?

Remove all Republicans: whidbey: We'd solve a lot of problems if we stopped electing big business-humping warmongers to our top offices, for one thing.

It's really not that hard to do.

Yeah, but the Republicans can't help themselves. We had one guy a decade ago and now people want to throw his wife out the window.

Because she sat on the board of a big multi-national corporation and is right in the pockets of the insurance companies.