kill subby with a coathanger :(

This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

Eh I dont know about this headline.

Xochitl

/that is all

How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

17 year old... sophomore?

yeesh, bad pun.

Vagina

These puns are starting to get so deep you can no longer just Wade through them. Pretty soon we'll need to get a boat and start Roeing.

YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

If the baby is underweight enough, or if the girl is big enough, or if the mother is dumb enough, or if you have someway to restrict the stomach / baggy enough clothing... It's not that hard.

If you were having, like, triplets, that'd be damn hard.

File this under 'Too Hard, Trying', subby.

YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

Eh, it's a secret.
/Shut uuup.

How do parents let their kids get so fat that they don't even realize they're pregnant? Either that... or they're not paying attention to their kids enough to notice.

tried too hard

failed

better luck next time

funsized: YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

If the baby is underweight enough, or if the girl is big enough, or if the mother is dumb enough, or if you have someway to restrict the stomach / baggy enough clothing... It's not that hard.

If you were having, like, triplets, that'd be damn hard.

K. I don't have a uterus, so I was curious.

You know what sucks about that headline?

The fact that I'm studying in a medical school library (it's quiet) and was about to go grab lunch in the attached hospital's cafeteria. Now I have an image in my mind of "placenta to eat."

Thanks.

If you can't pay your phone bill, you can't raise a child. STOP PROCREATING.

funsized
This is why my mother told me two things:

Three..Four and Five:

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

You need to be really, really chunky.

Met a lady once who was around 350lbs. She tried for 20 years to have kids, with no luck. Then, about nine months after going through "menopause", she ended up in the ER with really bad stomach cramps. Guess what? Surprise!!

She was one happy lady, though. Neat stuff.

fta: Perez praised the girl for taking quick action.

?????????????????

Walking to the hospital with an umbilical cord flapping between your legs is "quick action?

A lot of the farkers in the "morans" thread below are gonna be jumpin' all over this soon.

17 year old... sophomore?

I'm gonna go out on a lib and guess she was held back 'cause she flunked Spanish.

yikes.

/was the father hot?

*limb*

/me flunked English

kilgorn: Xochitl

/that is all


Mexican?

Arch Stanton: 17 year old... sophomore?

I'm gonna go out on a lib and guess she was held back 'cause she flunked Spanish.

I see what you did there.

Or was it a typo? ;)

funsized: This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

That is nothing to be proud of.

Giving out sex education and contraception to kids is bad? Tell me again why the conservatives think that, I keep forgetting.

Arch Stanton: 17 year old... sophomore?

I'm gonna go out on a lib and guess she was held back 'cause she flunked Spanish.

mmmm California

awesome headline btw...

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: tried too hard

failed

better luck next time

Uvula got to be more forgiving. Ova all, I'd say it's not too bad.
/Labia

Arch Stanton: 17 year old... sophomore?

I'm gonna go out on a lib and guess she was held back 'cause she flunked Spanish.

Suck it, libs.

But but but...the GOP open borders lobby is always telling us how great these hispanics family values are! This must be a librul media conspiracy to stir up support for abortion!

/suck it, _________s
//4 generations of "fat piece of shiat" in one picture...modern life is wonderful

Befuddled: Giving out sex education and contraception to kids is bad? Tell me again why the conservatives think that, I keep forgetting.

You think a chick this dumb can find a boyfriend that knows how to put on a condom? They'd probably make balloon animals with them/end up chocking on them.
/Maybe we should make the Pill mandatory...

YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?

By being so fat that no one notices an extra 50 lbs or so.

I was just standing there doing the dishes when I noticed an infant on the floor still attached.
"Could you get that Deidre?"

Doctors were stunned that the girl was able to give birth to an eight pound anchor.

spyyder: funsized: This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

That is nothing to be proud of.

Seconded.

Befuddled: Giving out sex education and contraception to kids is bad? Tell me again why the conservatives think that, I keep forgetting.

Because it'll lead to a rise in--gasp!--premarital sexin'.

Personally, I figure that kids are going to do it anyways, so they should know how to do it safely.

As soon as I started being interested in sex, my mom made sure I knew how contraception worked--and when I got my first real boyfriend, she gave me a bottle of lube and ultra-thin condoms.

funsized: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house;

If you want to have sex that bad why dont you buy your own farking place instead of having your mom leave? Wtf is that shiat? If I had kids and they asked me to leave so they could fark around id have all their shiat on the street asap.

If conservatives hate those on welfare so much, why do they then hate sex education and contraception so much? They are pretty much making sure there will be more people needing welfare, not less.

subby should have aborted that pun-miscarriage in the first trimester.

spyyder: That is nothing to be proud of.

Enjoy your surprise grandkids.

When I was a junior in high school, the contraception section of my health book was torn out (the publisher nicely put it in the middle, so it could be taken out around the staples fairly easily). Our teacher was a kickass older woman who told us "I can't tell you about that chapter - the school board'll fire me - but please, please, PLEASE seek someone credible to talk to you if you have questions. Not your peers, but an adult who can tell you how to be safe about things."

Later that year, a senior girl had a secret baby, delivered it in her room, and set it on the steps of the church across the street from the school and rang the bell. No one heard it, since everyone was on the other side of the building. Baby froze to death.

In all the stupid news media hysteria, I don't remember a single damn person thinking that maybe, just maybe, if that teacher wasn't censored, it wouldn't have gotten to that point.

On the plus side, I believe because of her, you can now drop off your baby no questions asked in our state.

My mom was Catholic, and paranoid about me and my brother doing anything (completely erroneously - we were smart enough not to pull shiat in high school).

However, she did sit me and him in front of a PBS teen sexuality special that said everything she couldn't, and quite well, if boring as hell. I'll give her props for that.

I'm glad this kid was born because I was worried about who was going to be the next poster family for abortion.

EsteeFlwrPot: funsized: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house;

If you want to have sex that bad why dont you buy your own farking place instead of having your mom leave? Wtf is that shiat? If I had kids and they asked me to leave so they could fark around id have all their shiat on the street asap.

Well, as this was when I was 15, that wasn't a particularly good option. Now that I'm 20 and not living at home, however, you'll be pleased to know that I don't call my mother to moan into the phone.

StreetlightInTheGhetto: On the plus side, I believe because of her, you can now drop off your baby no questions asked in our state.


I think this's common practice in most states, but I could be wrong.

The Noble Rot: spyyder: funsized: This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

That is nothing to be proud of.

Seconded.

It's not something to be proud of, but it is background information that can lend insight into someone's opinion.

funsized: Befuddled: Giving out sex education and contraception to kids is bad? Tell me again why the conservatives think that, I keep forgetting.

Because it'll lead to a rise in--gasp!--premarital sexin'.

Personally, I figure that kids are going to do it anyways, so they should know how to do it safely.

As soon as I started being interested in sex, my mom made sure I knew how contraception worked--and when I got my first real boyfriend, she gave me a bottle of lube and ultra-thin condoms.

Dude, your mom is... well, actually, I don't know what to say to that...

spyyder: funsized: This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

That is nothing to be proud of.

What does pride have to do with anything she said? Her mother probably had the abortion because she was afraid of what her parents might do/think/say and she wanted to make sure her daughter 1) avoided the problem completely if possible or 2) if she does get in trouble that her mother will be there for her. I think it's commendable and the epitome of responsible parenting. No need to be a dick.

damiangerous: YixilTesiphon: How the hell do you carry a secret pregnancy to term?
By being so fat that no one notices an extra 50 lbs or so.

I guess - this ability always amazed me though. My boobs grew to a ridiculous size and I had a noticeable sway (or waddle if you prefer)when I walked. And I only gained 20ish lbs for each pregnancy. I just don't believe that a parent wouldn't notice the changes. I also have a very hard time believing women who say "they didn't know they were pregnant" after giving birth to a full term baby.

Befuddled: If conservatives hate those on welfare so much, why do they then hate sex education and contraception so much? They are pretty much making sure there will be more people needing welfare, not less.

Because the religious conservatives are still influenced by 5th century Christian theology developed by St. Augustine that promotes celibacy and marriage as morally superior options to birth control. They believe the kingdom of heaven is worth more than anything that can be gained here on earth. Geez, didn't you know that?

spyyder: funsized: This is why my mother told me two things: one, if I ever needed some place to have sex, to just tell her and she'd buy me the condoms and get the hell out of the house; and two, if I was ever pregnant, to just tell her and that she'd be mad, but she wouldn't ever want me to have to go through that alone.

/mom had an illegal abortion
//in india
///I swear by condoms

That is nothing to be proud of.

You looked at funsized's picture and came to this conclusion, didn't you? My question for spyyder or anyone else who came to the same judgement, is this...If funsized looked like...


or whatever turns you on, would you hold your convictions true.

\Not trying to flame anyone, or say funsized is unattractive. The rainbow socks kill me though. I'm sure she would find my attitude highly unattractive, and I'm okay with that.