The good news is that admission is free if you can successfully hide from the ticket guy.

Whatever you do, don't click to expand the photo. Farking hell that was hideous.

I took Amtrak last week. Both legs were late, so, yeah.

Trains will celebrate by hitting people on tracks.

Free airline tickets for everyone.

Amtrak: farking useless since 1970.

Amtrak still exists?

And it's going to derail faster than a FARK thread that has subject matter that often leads to thread derailing.

If the federal government took in as much revenues from trains as it does aviation, we would all be riding trains.

And the earth's atmosphere would be a whole lot healthier.

/Been there, done that, destroyed the ozone.

The logic against AMTRAK is as follows:

We've tried it half-assed and it hasn't worked... so clearly, doing it right also wouldn't work.

TheShavingofOccam123 Quote 2008-05-04 10:49:38 AM
If the federal government took in as much revenues from trains as it does aviation, we would all be riding trains.

Your math is broken... the federal government has spent much more subsidizing aviation than it has taken in in revenues... if you add both expenditures and revenues for each sector, though trains barely take in any revenue, we really don't spend (comparatively) much on them either.

/I love both. :)

In Chicago, attendees will celebrate while being jostled by Metra riders; T.V. monitors will broadcast the Oprah show.

My sister lives in Port Huron, Michigan, so it's a direct shot using the Bluewater. It saves her a trip to Detroit if I take the train instead of flying. I would like it better without the delays, and the occasional weirdo sitting next to you who insists on talking to me. Best one was the guy who told me all about his brain injury and how his wife left him after that. Clearly he wasn't making it up.

I use amtrak alot between NYC, Boston and DC, and rarely have any problems. I'd say I am on time about 75% of the time, and of the times I'm not, usually its only off by 15 minutes or so.

Granted every now and then they will have a spectacularly bad day, but typically ist weather related and I avoid taking them when I know the weather sucks.

Wait, Amtrak, or United?

Once I rode the Amtrak during the holidays b/c I lived downtown Chicago and didn't have a car. It was supposed to be a 3-hour ride. It snowed, which turned it into an 8 (EIGHT!) hour trip. 5 hours extra because of snow. It's a god-damn TRAAAAIIIINNNN

Why? Because of "signal problems". Are train signals universally not weather-proof? Because it's not just Amtrak, it's the Chicago area Metra too. If it's a heavy rain or snow, somehow all the signals go out. Then they putz along at 20mph, stopping at every crossing.

It's 2008. Are you kidding me with this? No one has figured out how to waterproof an electric current?

I love taking trains when in Europe and in the parts of Canada with good service. Far more comfortable than flying, no security hassles, and when you take check-in time into account, often faster than flying.

Bash Amtrak all you want, but it's still the best way to travel in America, if you've got the time.

Comfortable seats designed for adult human beings.
Helpful staff.
Not quite crap tasting food.
Great views.
Fresh air.
The ability to stretch your legs.
No Government-sponsored molestation and baggage theft under the guise of TSA.
If you spend the money, a bed.

Sure, it might be late. Sure, it might be a bit pricey, but you guys can keep your air travel that makes you strip in the airport, get shafted on boarding and luggage space, seats you next to the one guy on the plane too big for his seat and he has the window seat, as you have to wait an hour for an overworked stewardess to even look at you, as your legs go numb from the tiny space and you gag on breathing everyone's BO the whole way, only to arrive sleepless and pissed even more when you open your suitcase to find some TSA goon stole your camera.

I'll keep Amtrak.

LineNoise [TotalFark] Quote 2008-05-04 10:55:27 AM
I use amtrak alot between NYC, Boston and DC, and rarely have any problems. I'd say I am on time about 75% of the time, and of the times I'm not, usually its only off by 15 minutes or so.

Granted every now and then they will have a spectacularly bad day, but typically ist weather related and I avoid taking them when I know the weather sucks.

That's the only part where Amtrak actually owns the rail... outside of the northeast, Amtrak doesn't actually own any track, so they are at the mercy of freight companies telling them when they can get on to different tracks, how long they have to wait at junctions and such... in a big surprise... the freight companies will make Amtrak wait for hours if it will save their own train even 2 or 3 minutes. I mean, the government is gonna keep paying them for use of the track no matter what, so theres no incentive to actually help them operate efficiently.

We need more, better trains in this country. There is no excuse except that oil companies and car companies love urban sprawl.

In the running for the Headline of the Day.

Well Done

Don't forget that the party locations will be dimly lit, disgustingly dirty, and the bathrooms will be full of smelly homeless people who live in the stalls.

The one time I thought I'd try Amtrak, I literally tore up my Amrak ticket and drove the three hundred miles rather. I figured the train was likely to be just as disgusting, if not worse, than the station it pulled into.

The logic against AMTRAK is as follows:

We've tried it half-assed and it hasn't worked... so clearly, doing it right also wouldn't work.

Pretty much. Or they split the service up amongst a group of unrelated private companies, who none to surprising are even more useless than the government. They butchered the trains in Britain by halfarsedness methods too, when they used to rock.

fastbow: Bash Amtrak all you want, but it's still the best way to travel in America, if you've got the time.

I think you are broadly correct, especially the part about not having to deal with TSA B.S. Also, if you don't want to fly, you could do worse - "riding the dog" - Greyhound. (Did it once, will never do it again.)

kbarham: Whatever you do, don't click to expand the photo. Farking hell that was hideous.

I took Amtrak last week. Both legs were late, so, yeah.

I wasn't aware there were discounts for traveling in pieces..

I larfed, Subby

Don't know about amtrack, but chicago southshore and metra kick ars... get me to see my family 100 miles away in 2 hours for $6... the tolls alone are more than that.

fastbow: you next to the one guy on the plane too big for his seat and he has the window seat

I wish. He usually has the aisle seat and grunts and glowers at anyone who needs to get up once during the flight.

Flying is simply a chore nowadays.

tillerman35: I figured the train was likely to be just as disgusting, if not worse, than the station it pulled into.

Actually the trains are usually pretty nice, although I don't know what the earlier poster meant about fresh air, because there's none of that on the trains I have used.

Buttle not Tuttle: Also, if you don't want to fly, you could do worse - "riding the dog" - Greyhound. (Did it once, will never do it again.)

Oh good god, this. I rode Greyhound from Melbourne, Fl to Philly and it was the worst 23 hours of my life. Yeah, 23 hours.
I've taken Amtrak a few times and I loved it, but maybe it was just the novelty of taking the train.

No matter what people say about the nostalgia and love for Amtrak, it's still run by a bunch of bozos. There is NO service from L.A. or San Diego to Las Vegas. NONE. This is painfully stupid when you consider that 60% of Vegas's business comes from people who live in Socal.

Amtrak guys have the best weed.

Subby forgot that it will only be in towns west of the Mississippi where no one lives anymore.

How Amtrak is in business is beyond me.

nashBridges: if something needs done.

You from Pittsburgh? You sound like it.

dj_bigbird: No matter what people say about the nostalgia and love for Amtrak, it's still run by a bunch of bozos. There is NO service from L.A. or San Diego to Las Vegas. NONE. This is painfully stupid when you consider that 60% of Vegas's business comes from people who live in Socal.

Hell, there isn't even a MAJOR INTERSTATE between Phoenix and Vegas, the only two major cities in that part of the country. Pretty much the only way to get there is by flying, the way they have it planned out.

/6 hours going an average max. speed of 55? no thanks

The trains are fine, usually on time, though I've been on at least three where something happened to the power supply halfway between Baltimore and Philadelphia and we were stuck there for a few hours.

fark the stations, though. DC's Union Station has an explicit prohibition against panhandling and harassment posted but none of the many cops walking around every seem to enforce it. As at least a large part of Union Station is in fact private property (owned by a non-profit, leased to a developer), I'm not sure why the rent-a-cops don't do anything either. Of course, that's DC generally: it seems to suck in worthless people that can't bear to be any further from the federal teat (this applies to lobbyists as well as crackheads).

/30th Street Station and Stamford FTW, Union Station and NY Penn FTL

nashBridges: However, I've been to Pittsburgh. Why do you insult me so?

Actually I was just curious, because in general only people from western PA say things "need done" as opposed to "need to be done," and Pittsburghese is a bit of an island as far as dialects go.

47 minute delays are *nothing* when you're dealing with Amtrak in most of the country.

Our national rail system has been fbxored since Three Mile Island, actually. Hundreds of coal-fired power plants have been built since nuclear was mothballed. Each of them needs a mile-long coal train almost every day. The railroads are absolutely swamped. Condemning land to expand capacity is a very slow and expensive process, and the railroad companies operate on the cheap. And, when a major river bridge gets flooded or a derailment happens, there are very few alternative routes, and the system gets even more clogged.

:smacks Nash.

nashBridges [TotalFark] Quote 2008-05-04 11:25:07 AM
firefly212: outside of the northeast, Amtrak doesn't actually own any track,

I don't think they own most of the Northeast track, either. There's just more of it to go around.

Naw, they own most of their northeast corridor rail... they've also got a little bit of track in Michigan (the Wolverine Express runs pretty reliably on it... great stuff if you want to go from MI to Chicago for a weekend).

austerity101: Actually I was just curious, because in general only people from western PA say things [like] "needs done" as opposed to "needs to be done," and Pittsburghese is a bit of an island as far as dialects go.

I thought this speech marker was something people only did on the Net out of laziness until I heard an older Michigander use it in real life. Get some more data points here, and we'll have us a Fark linguistics study!

I've only taken the train in the USA once: Caltran from San Jose to San Francisco and back. That was on time and worked perfectly, but that's not Amtrak.

fastbow: Bash Amtrak all you want, but it's still the best way to travel in America, if you've got the time.

Comfortable seats designed for adult human beings.
Helpful staff.
Not quite crap tasting food.
Great views.
Fresh air.
The ability to stretch your legs.
No Government-sponsored molestation and baggage theft under the guise of TSA.
If you spend the money, a bed.


Yea, THIS. Last time I traveled from central VA up to NYC, I decided to give Amtrak a try, and boy was I impressed. I'll never drive or fly if my destination is anywhere northeast of DC.

It's also great to not lose an hour of travel time waiting in lines to have the pleasure of an anal cavity search.

I'd love to take Amtrak more, but it ends up costing more than driving most of the time. What kind of farked-up mass transit system expects me to pay more money to go slower?

danceswithcrows: Get some more data points here, and we'll have us a Fark linguistics study!


Not to get too far off the subject, but you might be interested in this nice little map detailing the soda vs. pop controversy. (Soda POPs)

/I'm an east coast kid, all grown up and transplanted in the Midwest, so I've had to adjust. (I call it pop now.)
//I've also lived in New Orleans, and briefly in California - people talk funny wherever you go.

austerity101: nashBridges: However, I've been to Pittsburgh. Why do you insult me so?

Actually I was just curious, because in general only people from western PA say things "need done" as opposed to "need to be done," and Pittsburghese is a bit of an island as far as dialects go.

What are yunz talking about? It's a 'burgh thing 'n at.

The railroad comes through the middle of the house.
The railroad comes through the middle of the house.
The trains all come through the middle of the house
Since the company bought the land.

They let us live in the front of the house.
They let us live in the back.
But there ain't no living in the middle of the house
'Cause that's the railroad track.

When a bill collector comes to the house
He knocks and bangs on the door.
So we sit him right down in the middle of the house
And he never comes back no more.
No, he never comes back no more.

The railroad comes through the middle of the house.
The railroad comes through the middle of the house.
It comes and goes through the middle of the house.
And the trains are all on time.
And here comes the 5:09.

The railroad comes through the middle of the house,
The in and out of the middle of the house,
Right smack dab through the middle of the house,
Where the parlor used to be.

There's a great big door in the front of the house.
There's a little old door in the back.
But we can't have doors in the middle of the house
'Cause that's the railroad track.

A relative came to visit the house.
He liked to scream and fuss.
So we sat him right down in the middle of the house
And he never more bothered us.
No, he never more bothered us.

Oh, the railroad comes through the middle of the house.
The railroad comes through the middle of the house.
It comes and goes through the middle of the house
Since the trains are all on time.

I'm singing this song in the middle of the house.

Buttle not Tuttle: Not to get too far off the subject, but you might be interested in this nice little map detailing the soda vs. pop controversy.

Interesting, but not surprising.

/soda.

Buttle not Tuttle: you might be interested in this nice little map detailing the soda vs. pop controversy.

I saw a site that asked you a bunch of questions (what do you sit on in the living room: Couch/sofa/divan? What is the long sandwich: grinder/sub/hoagie? Soda/pop/coke? etc), and determined where in the country you were raised. It was quite detailed, and there were many questions. I've found similar sites again since then, but never that one again.

Bus ticket from Normal, IL to Oak Brook, IL: $25 each way
Train ticket from Normal, IL to Chicago's Union Station (if purchased two weeks ahead of time): $11.

Yeah, I'll take the train, thanks. And since I live right next to the damned tracks in Normal, I can tell you they're rarely more than 5 minutes late coming through town.

Amtrak's okay, but not in Floriduh, because the drivers here think crossing gates are just obstacles to drive around (or through). Seems like we make at least one headline a month that way. Nor have they grasped the understanding that, even if you're driving a big rig, the train still wins.

There's only two high speed routes in America. The first is the Northeast Corridor (WAS-NYC-BOS) and the other one is the Harrisburg-Philadelphia-New York City corridor. Hopefully we'll have a few more by 2020. Still we've used the Amtrak money to help fund the Iraq War. Besides, who wants to ride on a third world, liberal mode of transportation?

/I don't.
//Obama doesn't since he's an elitist.
///McCain rode the train last month and nobody cared.

firefly212: The logic against AMTRAK is as follows:

We've tried it half-assed and it hasn't worked... so clearly, doing it right also wouldn't work.

Yeah. If we funded trains like we do roads and aviation, we might have a shot at a halfway decent system.

US trains are just a joke, which is really sad. First world trains are something else entirely.

It should be: Planes for the truly long haul, FAST trains for inter-city (500 miles or so), local trains for in-city public transit type use, and then cars for unpredictable trips or going to truly rural areas (and make them easy to rent).

The way airlines work it's just not really practicable to fly short term city to city, when you have to book the ticket so far in advance for good rates and show up an hour early and deal with security. That's madness.

Better, show up at the train station, a train leaves every 15 or 20 minutes, you walk on exactly on time, and it goes 200MPH. And they sell quality lunches AND beer.