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(Guardian.com) Interesting There is a growing trend for would-be grooms to throw out the rule book and opt for best women instead. Please return your man card now   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 110
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log_jammin [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 05:31:48 AM  
well...this is in the U.K. so they don't really have a man card to turn in.

 
monty666 [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 05:42:10 AM  
If you think there such a thing as a man card you are probably also the type of person who buys Maxim and FHM magazines and watches Spike TV, and bleaches their hair and shaves their pubes.

douchebag

 
meekychuppet 2008-05-04 05:48:15 AM  
monty666: If you think there such a thing as a man card you are probably also the type of person who buys Maxim and FHM magazines and watches Spike TV, and bleaches their hair and shaves their pubes.

douchebag

You forgot he's a playa with his own set of rules and he don't need no biatches man, he farks 'em and farks 'em off.

OMG!!!!! Some men have female friends! Call the police.

When I picture submitter I see:

www.simpsonsseason.com

 
log_jammin [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 06:05:25 AM  
monty666: and watches Spike TV

Its the only channel I get that has Star Trek TGN.

 
TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 06:21:33 AM  
I prefer to think of them as the first runner up.

You know, just in case.

 
Yesdog [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 06:24:14 AM  
I can't imagine being the kind of loser who cares how his masculinity is perceived. It's kind of sad.

 
cerote [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 06:31:46 AM  
monty666: If you think there such a thing as a man card you are probably also the type of person who buys Maxim and FHM magazines and watches Spike TV, and bleaches their hair and shaves their pubes.

You forgot the liberally-applied Axe Body Spray.

 
Macular Degenerate 2008-05-04 06:51:38 AM  
My good female friend who got married last year had a "man of honor." It sort of doesn't matter, does it? The whole point of getting married is affirming to the community that you are indeed a couple. Does it really matter who you have close to you when this happens? It's completely stupid that this would even be an issue worthy of an article.

 
David3565 2008-05-04 07:00:34 AM  
It represents the the symmetry of marriage, the balance of male and female, the joining of two halves to create a whole. Granted, it certainly is anyone's choice what they do for their wedding, but the traditions do represent *something*. But this seems fit under the category on writing your own vows; the mushy, long-winded speeches where people use too many words to say too little of any significance, never quite matching the succinct and powerful prose of traditional vows.

Too each his or her own, but little more thoughtfulness about what they're doing wouldn't hurt.

 
Studio Ghibli 2008-05-04 07:01:44 AM  
monty666: If you think there such a thing as a man card you are probably also the type of person who buys Maxim and FHM magazines and watches Spike TV, and bleaches their hair and shaves their pubes.

douchebag

 
Rethorn 2008-05-04 07:01:57 AM  
There is a growing trend among Fark Headlines where smitty is so insecure in his manhood that he has to have a piece of plastic that tells him he is a man. Please return your penis now.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:04:40 AM  
I had a groomswoman and my wife had a man of honor at our wedding, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

/The Baptists balked somewhat at the grizzly bearded guy in a dress.
//Does anyone actually do the entire "getting a kick" speech anymore?

 
Rodeodoc 2008-05-04 07:04:50 AM  
The Best Man was traditionally responsible for the physical safety of the groom. Hard to see how a female would be able to fend of a hoard of murdering huns. And won't that be a fun stag party. "OK. boys, let's talk about how we feel about Stanley getting married. Could we have another wine spritzer over here, please?"

Having a woman as your Best Man says "Honey, I've got options."

 
beoswulf 2008-05-04 07:05:31 AM  
A dozen posts to comment on how a female best man makes for a much better threesome possibility?

 
Kyosuke [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:06:59 AM  
Macular Degenerate: The whole point of getting married is affirming to the community that you are indeed a couple.

This!

Anyway, why wait until you're about to get married to have that wicked night with a bunch of strippers?

 
thinker5555 2008-05-04 07:10:31 AM  
Small and simple weddings FTW! When my wife and I got married, we didn't make it into a huge to-do. There were no best men, maids of honor, or any of these extra "what's the point?" type of people standing around. It was just us, the preacher and a grand total of six family members.

Of course our whole wedding day had bits of planned weirdness in it. We got married on a Wednesday... at 8:30am. Her dress was burgundy with cream colored embroidery. After the wedding we had the reception at a local historical hotel where we had a buffet of breakfast. Pancakes, waffles, eggs, sausage, bacon, and fruit. Om nom nom nom.

Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

 
Burchill 2008-05-04 07:12:10 AM  
I think that's quite lovely.

Countdown to the backup macro.

 
nstoppiello 2008-05-04 07:12:13 AM  
Rodeodoc: The Best Man was traditionally responsible for the physical safety of the groom. Hard to see how a female would be able to fend of a hoard of murdering huns. And won't that be a fun stag party. "OK. boys, let's talk about how we feel about Stanley getting married. Could we have another wine spritzer over here, please?"

Having a woman as your Best Man says "Honey, I've got options."

Maybe traditionally, but not anymore. It's the IRS (in the US) we have to fend off against now. Considering that my best friend is a woman and I'm not sure if I'd want ANY of my male friends even close to my wedding, my options are limited. =(

 
Vman 2008-05-04 07:15:43 AM  
Is this what second place gets you>?

 
Squeegie 2008-05-04 07:16:43 AM  
Anyone who says "man card" should be shot on general principal.

 
ElegantGoose 2008-05-04 07:17:30 AM  
ftfa: Some think that their best and closest friend is female, so why should they choose a guy?'

If your closest friend is female, and you are a hetero male, why the hell aren't you marrying her?

I married my best friend, and life is pretty good.

 
Burchill 2008-05-04 07:23:20 AM  
ElegantGoose: ftfa: Some think that their best and closest friend is female, so why should they choose a guy?'

If your closest friend is female, and you are a hetero male, why the hell aren't you marrying her?

I married my best friend, and life is pretty good.

Bully for you.

I give it 5 years.

 
bbcrackmonkey 2008-05-04 07:23:35 AM  
If your best friend is someone of the opposite gender, you're probably going to regret the fact that you didn't marry them instead.

 
Freak 2008-05-04 07:23:37 AM  
That must have been one hell of a bachelor party.....not.

 
TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:26:33 AM  
bbcrackmonkey: If your best friend is someone of the opposite gender, you're probably going to regret the fact that you didn't marry them instead.

YUPPER, THAT'S A ROGER.

 
Peaceboy [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:29:47 AM  
bbcrackmonkey: If your best friend is someone of the opposite gender, you're probably going to regret the fact that you didn't marry them instead.

QFT, THIS, etc.

 
JQPublic [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:44:30 AM  
Squeegie: Anyone who says "man card" should be shot on general principal.

I could agree to that. And also anyone that uses the phrases:

1. Carbon footprint.
2. Zima.
3. Outside the box.
4. Congress critters.
5. Chimpy McFlightsuit.
6. 'tard.
7. Restless Leg Syndrome.
8. Paradigm Shift.
9. Phone tag.
10. Supersize.
11. Erectile Dysfunction.
12. Methinks.
13. Exit strategy.
14. Baby Jesus.
15. F-bomb.
16. N-word.
1tnoocular.
18. Fo' shizzle.
19. Systemic.
20. Body thetans.

/going to bed. feel free to add/revise.

 
20/20 2008-05-04 07:47:13 AM  
I say we start a tradition that has the maid of honor joining the bride and groom on their wedding night for a threesome. Who's with me?

 
fendrluvr 2008-05-04 07:48:03 AM  
ElegantGoose: ftfa: Some think that their best and closest friend is female, so why should they choose a guy?'

If your closest friend is female, and you are a hetero male, why the hell aren't you marrying her?

I married my best friend, and life is pretty good.

One of my best friends is a woman, I'm a hetero man. Marrying her would be like marrying my sister.

 
Yogimus 2008-05-04 07:48:38 AM  
Imagine the bachelor party..

 
MooseUpNorth 2008-05-04 07:49:00 AM  
David3565: but the traditions do represent *something*.

Not all traditions represent something positive.

img114.imageshack.us

 
dstanley 2008-05-04 07:49:38 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: //Does anyone actually do the entire "getting a kick" speech anymore?

Nah,no need.

JQPublic: 1tnoocular.

Filter say what?

 
log_jammin [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 07:50:25 AM  
20/20: I say we start a tradition that has the maid of honor joining the bride and groom on their wedding night for a threesome. Who's with me?

NO!

Its Immoral! and I'm already married!

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 08:02:41 AM  
log_jammin: 20/20: I say we start a tradition that has the maid of honor joining the bride and groom on their wedding night for a threesome. Who's with me?

NO!

Its Immoral! and I'm already married!

and my wife's maid of honor wasn't exactly hittable.

/even weirder were it to be her sister
//or mother.
///or grandmother.
////Oh, and my friend was a bridesman, not a man of honor. It's late.

 
arentevenwords 2008-05-04 08:03:55 AM  
Macular Degenerate: My good female friend who got married last year had a "man of honor." It sort of doesn't matter, does it? The whole point of getting married is affirming to the community that you are indeed a couple. Does it really matter who you have close to you when this happens? It's completely stupid that this would even be an issue worthy of an article.

The last couple weddings I have worked had a "Man Of Honor"

It is becoming so commonplace in modern weddings. I guess people care less about being married with the identical traditions that their grandparents used and more about just getting married the way that fits their lifestyle.

 
Commander Lysdexic 2008-05-04 08:11:01 AM  
Man Dance

 
JQPublic [TotalFark] 2008-05-04 08:12:51 AM  
dstanley:

JQPublic: 1tnoocular.

Filter say what?

That was weird. I'm pretty sure I typed the number 17, followed by "nucular" the way George Bush says "nuclear".

oh, well. guess my typo turned out to be a bad word spelt backwards.

 
MrsIrB 2008-05-04 08:16:37 AM  
My stepfather did this when he married my mother. He had the quandry of having two brothers, neither of which he was close with, and a group of guys he was friends with, but didn't feel one was above the other in how much he liked them. His best man ended up being his sister, and it worked out really well. She wore a black dress with a bolero, so it didn't look unbalanced at the alter.

 
Mister Peejay 2008-05-04 08:21:35 AM  
fendrluvr:
One of my best friends is a woman, I'm a hetero man. Marrying her would be like marrying my sister.

To use the Fark vernacular, "This."

 
MrsIrB 2008-05-04 08:21:49 AM  
Also, sister is a lesbian and a marine, so I hear the bachelor's party was off the hook.

 
Espertron 2008-05-04 08:22:50 AM  
TommyymmoT: I prefer to think of them as the first runner up.

You know, just in case.

tbn0.google.com

--We have a winnah!--

 
Tobias Rieper 2008-05-04 08:27:36 AM  
dstanley: Filter say what?

17

noocular

 
David3565 2008-05-04 08:35:02 AM  
MooseUpNorth:

Not all traditions represent something positive.

And not all of them are negative, either, as per the explanation of what it represented. There's a fairly immediate assumption by us moderns that our ancestors did things for generations the same way, because they were too stupid or primitive to know better. It never seems to occur to anyone that, you know, people might have good reasons for doing certain things certain ways, as they tended to refine things over generations.

We're also pretty dense when it comes to symbolism and subtlety, which is what many of those traditions encompass. I'm not saying which should have a slavish attachment to the past, but would it hurt for a person to pay a little attention?

 
orbister 2008-05-04 08:38:29 AM  
It's the Guardian.

"There is a growing trend ..." = "Joss and Araminta met someone at reiki who said that she heard of someone who ..."

 
Yes Sound 2008-05-04 09:01:31 AM  
MrsIrB: Also, sister is a lesbian and a marine, so I hear the bachelor's party was off the hook.

If she is a marine the vernacular would be "off the chain"

/not sure why this matters
//marine partys can be memorable...

 
karlandtanya 2008-05-04 09:05:06 AM  

Groom's got a female friend he likes so much that he wants her to be his best "man"? And Bride goes along with this? She has no self-respect.


Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: You only think you do.

Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: How do you know?

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?

Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.


 
Brand0JS 2008-05-04 09:19:25 AM  
My best friend is a lesbian. She would be very upset if there was no threesome involved.

 
Lord Ezekiel 2008-05-04 09:47:27 AM  
Mister Peejay: fendrluvr:
One of my best friends is a woman, I'm a hetero man. Marrying her would be like marrying my sister.

To use the Fark vernacular, "This."

+1. The preacher looked at me and my best woman, and asked if she WAS my sister. Besides, she was a very close friend, but not my best friend. My best friend was walking down the aisle.

 
Revmachine21 2008-05-04 09:49:03 AM  
Peaceboy: bbcrackmonkey: If your best friend is someone of the opposite gender, you're probably going to regret the fact that you didn't marry them instead.

QFT, THIS, etc.

I'm a half bottle of wine into this next statement... I secretly wish, and am afraid, that my best friend of the opposite gender will come to this conclusion.

En vino es veritas.

 
The_Talented_Mr_Richards 2008-05-04 09:50:27 AM  
Lord Ezekiel: +1. The preacher looked at me and my best woman, and asked if she WAS my sister. Besides, she was a very close friend, but not my best friend. My best friend was walking down the aisle.

She came in second place.

 
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