Man, I sure wish there were some charts or graphs out there that could explain this whole "global warming" thing.

We're gonna need a bigger graph.

Someone quick, get a private jet to Al Gore's compound and have him whisked away to this beach.

Add it to the list.

I think it has to do more with commercial overfishing. We use up all their food out in the deeper waters and now they move toward shore in search of more food.

It's quite elementary,..global warming, people get hot and go into the ocean to cool off. More people in the ocean equals more shark attacks. Fewer people in the ocean, fewer shark attacks. No people in the ocean, no shark attacks.

This is ridiculous. This so-called scientist is just another idiot who can't tell his causality from his associations. Everyone knows there are more shark attacks because there are more sharks because pirates have been fishing and eating fewer sharks because there are fewer pirates. Since lack of pirates causes global warming, this is just an association, not causation.

Hasn't this whole global warming bit jumped the shark yet?

/obligatory

Is there anything that global warming can't do?

i got way over excited when i played that shark attack board game when i was a kid. sometimes i'd end up crying because my fish got eaten :(

A complete list of things caused by global warming (new window)

Acne, agricultural land increase, Afghan poppies destroyed, Africa devastated, African aid threatened, Africa in conflict, aggressive weeds, air pressure changes, Alaska reshaped, allergies increase, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream end, amphibians breeding earlier (or not), anaphylactic reactions to bee stings, ancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, Antarctic grass flourishes, Antarctic ice grows, Antarctic ice shrinks, Antarctic sea life at risk, anxiety treatment, algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic lakes disappear, Arctic tundra to burn, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty, atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased, Baghdad snow, Bahrain under water, bananas grow, beer shortage, beetle infestation, bet for $10,000, better beer, big melt faster, billion dollar research projects, billion homeless, billions face risk, billions of deaths, bird distributions change, bird visitors drop, birds confused, birds return early, birds driven north, bittern boom ends, blackbirds stop singing, blizzards, blue mussels return, bluetongue, brains shrink, bridge collapse (Minneapolis), Britain Siberian, British gardens change, brothels struggle, brown Ireland, bubonic plague, budget increases, Buddhist temple threatened, building collapse, building season extension, bushfires, business opportunities, business risks, butterflies move north, camel deaths, cancer deaths in England, cannibalism, cataracts, caterpillar biomass shift, cave paintings threatened, childhood insomnia, Cholera, circumcision in decline, cirrus disappearance, civil unrest, cloud increase, cloud stripping, cockroach migration, coffee threatened, cold climate creatures survive, cold spells (Australia), cold wave (India), computer models, conferences, conflict, conflict with Russia, consumers foot the bill, coral bleaching, coral reefs dying, coral reefs grow, coral reefs shrink , cost of trillions, cougar attacks, cradle of civilisation threatened, crime increase, crocodile sex, crops devastated, crumbling roads, buildings and sewage systems, curriculum change, cyclones (Australia), danger to kid's health, Darfur, Dartford Warbler plague, death rate increase (US), Dengue hemorrhagic fever, depression, desert advance, desert retreat, destruction of the environment, disappearance of coastal cities, diseases move north, Dolomites collapse, drought, ducks and geese decline, dust bowl in the corn belt, early marriages, early spring, earlier pollen season, Earth biodiversity crisis, Earth dying, Earth even hotter, Earth light dimming, Earth lopsided, Earth melting, Earth morbid fever, Earth on fast track, Earth past point of no return, Earth slowing down, Earth spins faster, Earth to explode, earth upside down, Earth wobbling, earthquakes, El Niño intensification, end of the world as we know it, erosion, emerging infections, encephalitis, English villages lost, equality threatened, Europe simultaneously baking and freezing, eutrophication, evolution accelerating, expansion of university climate groups, extinctions (human, civilisation, logic, Inuit, smallest butterfly, cod, ladybirds, pikas, polar bears, gorillas, walrus, whales, frogs, toads, plants, salmon, trout, wild flowers, woodlice, penguins, a million species, half of all animal and plant species, mountain species, not polar bears, barrier reef, leaches), experts muzzled, extreme changes to California, fading fall foliage, fainting, famine, farmers go under, fashion disaster, fever,figurehead sacked, fir cone bonanza, fish catches drop, fish downsize, fish catches rise, fish deaf, fish get lost, fish stocks at risk, fish stocks decline, five million illnesses, flesh eating disease, flood patterns change, floods, floods of beaches and cities, flood of migrants, flood preparation for crisis, Florida economic decline, flowers in peril, food poisoning, food prices rise, food prices soar, food security threat (SA), footpath erosion, forest decline, forest expansion, frog with extra heads, frostbite, frost damage increased, frosts, fungi fruitful, fungi invasion, games change, Garden of Eden wilts, genetic diversity decline, gene pools slashed, giant oysters invade, giant pythons invade, giant squid migrate, gingerbread houses collapse, glacial earthquakes, glacial retreat, glacial growth, glacier wrapped, global cooling, global dimming, glowing clouds, god melts, golf Masters wrecked, Gore omnipresence, grandstanding, grasslands wetter, Great Barrier Reef 95% dead, Great Lakes drop, greening of the North, Grey whales lose weight, Gulf Stream failure, habitat loss, Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome, harmful algae, harvest increase, harvest shrinkage, hay fever epidemic, health affected, health of children harmed, heart disease, heart attacks and strokes (Australia), heat waves, hibernation affected, hibernation ends too soon, hibernation ends too late, HIV epidemic, homeless 50 million, hornets, high court debates, human development faces unprecedented reversal, human fertility reduced, human health improvement, human health risk, human race oblivion, hurricanes, hurricane reduction, hydropower problems, hyperthermia deaths, ice sheet growth, ice sheet shrinkage, ice shelf collapse, illness and death, inclement weather, India drowning, infrastructure failure (Canada), industry threatened, infectious diseases, inflation in China, insect explosion, insurance premium rises, Inuit displacement, Inuit poisoned, Inuit suing, invasion of cats, invasion of herons, invasion of jellyfish, invasion of midges, island disappears, islands sinking, itchier poison ivy, jellyfish explosion, jets fall from sky, jet stream drifts north, Kew Gardens taxed, killing us, kitten boom, krill decline, lake and stream productivity decline, lake empties, lake shrinking and growing, landslides, landslides of ice at 140 mph, lawsuits increase, lawsuit successful, lawyers' income increased (surprise surprise!), lives saved, Loch Ness monster dead, lush growth in rain forests, Malaria, mammoth dung melt, Maple production advanced, Maple syrup shortage, marine diseases, marine food chain decimated, Meaching (end of the world), Mediterranean rises, megacryometeors, Melanoma, methane emissions from plants, methane burps, methane runaway, melting permafrost, Middle Kingdom convulses, migration, migration difficult (birds), migratory birds huge losses, microbes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly, minorities hit, monkeys on the move, Mont Blanc grows, monuments imperiled, moose dying, more bad air days, more research needed, mortality increased, mountain (Everest) shrinking, mountains break up, mountains melting, mountains taller, mortality lower, narwhals at risk, National security implications, natural disasters quadruple, new islands, next ice age, NFL threatened, Nile delta damaged, noctilucent clouds, no effect in India, Northwest Passage opened, nuclear plants bloom, oaks dying, oaks move north, ocean acidification, ocean deserts expand, ocean waves speed up, opera house to be destroyed, outdoor hockey threatened, ozone repair slowed, ozone rise, Pacific dead zone, personal carbon rationing, pest outbreaks, pests increase, phenology shifts, plankton blooms, plankton destabilised, plankton loss, plant viruses, plants march north, polar bears aggressive, polar bears cannibalistic, polar bears drowning, polar bears starve, polar tours scrapped, popcorn rise, porpoise astray, profits collapse, psychiatric illness, puffin decline, railroad tracks deformed, rainfall increase, rape wave, refugees, release of ancient frozen viruses, resorts disappear, rice threatened, rice yields crash, rift on Capitol Hill, rioting and nuclear war, river flow impacted, rivers raised, roads wear out, robins rampant, rocky peaks crack apart, roof of the world a desert, rooftop bars, Ross river disease, ruins ruined, salinity reduction, salinity increase, Salmonella, satellites accelerate, school closures, sea level rise, sea level rise faster, seals mating more, sewer bills rise, severe thunderstorms, sex change, sexual promiscuity, sharks booming, sharks moving north, sheep shrink, shop closures, short-nosed dogs endangered, shrinking ponds, shrinking shrine, ski resorts threatened, skin cancer, slow death, smaller brains, smog, snowfall increase, snowfall heavy, snowfall reduction, soaring food prices, societal collapse, songbirds change eating habits, sour grapes, space problem, spectacular orchids, spiders invade Scotland, squid aggressive giants, squid population explosion, squirrels reproduce earlier, storms wetter, stormwater drains stressed, street crime to increase, subsidence, suicide, swordfish in the Baltic, Tabasco tragedy, taxes, tectonic plate movement, teenage drinking, terrorism, threat to peace, ticks move northward (Sweden), tides rise, tornado outbreak, tourism increase, trade barriers, trade winds weakened, traffic jams, transportation threatened, tree foliage increase (UK), tree growth slowed,, trees could return to Antarctic, trees in trouble, trees less colourful, trees more colourful, trees lush, tropics expansion, tropopause raised, truffle shortage, turtles crash, turtles lay earlier, UK coastal impact, UK Katrina, Vampire moths, Venice flooded, volcanic eruptions, walrus pups orphaned, walrus stampede, war, wars over water, wars sparked, wars threaten billions, water bills double, water supply unreliability, water scarcity (20% of increase), water stress, weather out of its mind, weather patterns awry, weeds, Western aid cancelled out, West Nile fever, whales move north, wheat yields crushed in Australia, wildfires, wind shift, wind reduced, wine - harm to Australian industry, wine industry damage (California), wine industry disaster (US), wine - more English, wine -German boon, wine - no more French , wine passé (Napa), winters in Britain colder, winter in Britain dead, witchcraft executions, wolves eat more moose, wolves eat less, workers laid off, World at war, World bankruptcy, World in crisis, World in flames, Yellow fever.

and all on 0.006 deg C per year!

Advice of any omissions (with sources) or broken links is welcome at wa­r­mlisthc­ta­wre­bmun­co­uk

Note: All links were live at time of posting. Inevitably some will disappear, particularly from Yahoo News.

Thanks to correspondents for additional entries; especially, as always, Our Man in Puerto Rico. Also, thanks to "Scraperguy" for the script to form the following:

The dead link collection

Africa hit hardest, anxiety, asthma, atmospheric defiance, bananas destroyed, boredom, cardiac arrest, challenges and opportunities, cod go south, cold spells, cremation to end, damages equivalent to $200 billion, dermatitis, desert life threatened, diarrhoea, drowning people, Earth spinning out of control, extinctions (bats, pandas, pigmy possums, koalas, turtles, orang-utan, elephants, tigers,) god melts, hazardous waste sites breached, human health improvement, lightning related insurance claims, little response in the atmosphere, Lyme disease, malnutrition, marine dead zone, mental illness (Alberta), mudslides, oblivion, oyster diseases, ozone loss, plankton loss, plant viruses, psychosocial disturbances, rainfall reduction, reindeer larger, riches, rivers dry up, rockfalls, salmon stronger, shrimp sex problems, tree beetle attacks, tree growth increased, tsunamis, walrus displaced, , white Christmas dream ends.

Suggestions for replacement links are welcome.

I'm making the call:

AGW just Jumped The Shark

Riiiight
Because dressing up like a sharks favorite food, then hanging out in the surf where they eat has nothing to do with it.

Stupid people die first.

global warming... is there anything it can't do?

Where's Jon Snow? He is late in posting his dozen or so big, scary "Global Warming" alarmist graphs and charts. He's the Bevets of "Global Warming".

Better than a poke in the eye with a shark's dick.

I haven't gotten laid in a while. Global warming? More like global cooling.

Oh no! Last time we had a "Summer of the Shark", it ended with 9/11!!!

dillenger69: Man, I sure wish there were some charts or graphs out there that could explain this whole "global warming" thing.

JQPublic: Where's Jon Snow? He is late in posting his dozen or so big, scary "Global Warming" alarmist graphs and charts. He's the Bevets of "Global Warming".

Scientist we've never heard of? How many scientists on average would you say most people have heard of? Stephen Hawking? Most people I know couldn't name more than five.

What. a. farking. horseshiat. headline.

'The one thing that's affecting shark attacks more than anything else is human activity,' said Dr George Burgess of Florida University, a shark expert who maintains the database. 'As the population continues to rise, so does the number of people in the water for recreation. And as long as we have an increase in human hours in the water, we will have an increase in shark bites.'

Some experts suggest that an abundance of seals has attracted high numbers of sharks, while others believe that overfishing has hit their food chain. 'I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's a convenient excuse,' Burgess said. Another contributory factor to the location of shark attacks could be global warming and rising sea temperatures. 'You'll find that some species will begin to appear in places they didn't in the past with some regularity,' he said.

THIRD THING. The THIRD THING he said, the thing he qualified with COULD, gets the headline. fark you, Guardian.

JQPublic: Where's Jon Snow? He is late in posting his dozen or so big, scary "Global Warming" alarmist graphs and charts. He's the Bevets of "Global Warming".

Um, you appear to be confused.

You see, when Bevets arrives in a thread, he posts self-referential stuff, ultimately sourced in the bible.

Jon Snow posts referenced, sources material, with scientists, institutions, and NASA and NOCAA data as his references. In other words, things which are not, actually, controversial.

So I hate to break it to you, but, well, you know how science isn't on Bevet's side?

It's not on yours, either.

You, and Anagrammer, and the rest, are actually in the position of Bevets: arguing red-faced against the scientific consensus, and all of the data in the world. All you have to back yourselves up are self-referential links to various think-tanks, and long lists of 'scientists' who have nothing to do with climate change.

You are Bevets.

As Lois Griffin said when running for Mayor of Quahog:

"9/11"

I find the level of jon snow hatred on this site now amusing. Carry on.

Obdicut: You, and Anagrammer, and the rest, are actually in the position of Bevets: arguing red-faced against the scientific consensus, and all of the data in the world. All you have to back yourselves up are self-referential links to various think-tanks, and long lists of 'scientists' who have nothing to do with climate change.

Look. It's bullshiat.

But it is fun watching scientists whack themselves off with their certainty until they realize that yet again we know far less than we'd like to admit.

That was awesome Obdicut, high-five!

moothemagiccow: fark you, Guardian.

Well, technically, Fark You Observer. And while they're owned by the same people, the Observer has an appalling record of late, of peddling science scare stories that are absolute bollocks. The Guardian, however, continues to let full-on academic ninja Ben Goldacre shoot down the Observer's claptrap at every turn.

nuclear_asshat: But it is fun watching scientists whack themselves off with their certainty until they realize that yet again we know far less than we'd like to admit.

That was a terrible sentence. Grammatically and philosophically.

Look: When scientists don't know something, when it's contested, that's when they make a big deal out of it, that's when it gets them funding. Climatologists are really, really, really damn sure that CO2 causes global warming, and they're really, really, really sure that we've put huge amounts of CO2 in the air. They're really, really, really sure there's a direct correlation between that.

Weirdly enough, I trust science. What do you trust more than science? Right-wing radio?

Obdicut: JQPublic: Where's Jon Snow? He is late in posting his dozen or so big, scary "Global Warming" alarmist graphs and charts. He's the Bevets of "Global Warming".

Um, you appear to be confused.

You see, when Bevets arrives in a thread, he posts self-referential stuff, ultimately sourced in the bible.

Jon Snow posts referenced, sources material, with scientists, institutions, and NASA and NOCAA data as his references. In other words, things which are not, actually, controversial.

So I hate to break it to you, but, well, you know how science isn't on Bevet's side?

It's not on yours, either.

You, and Anagrammer, and the rest, are actually in the position of Bevets: arguing red-faced against the scientific consensus, and all of the data in the world. All you have to back yourselves up are self-referential links to various think-tanks, and long lists of 'scientists' who have nothing to do with climate change.

You are Bevets.

Winnah. Thread over.

Obdicut: Weirdly enough, I trust science. What do you trust more than science? Right-wing radio?

I'm not a "denier" by any means. But shiat like TFA feeds this crap. And frankly, acting like anyone who questions any aspect of global warming/climate change is some how a fundie rush listener feeds it too.

The_Wise_one: Is there anything that global warming can't do?

The Cha-Cha.

log_jammin: I'm not a "denier" by any means. But shiat like TFA feeds this crap. And frankly, acting like anyone who questions any aspect of global warming/climate change is some how a fundie rush listener feeds it too.

If they'd just questioned something, I would have responded in kind. But they didn't. And calling bullshiat on science as a whole is retarded. It's been a long, long time since I met someone with an honest question about global warming, either.

nashBridges

Statistics ought to be taught in grade school, and continuously. They are the most real-world application of math that ordinary people use.

Objective, quantitative thought is being lost. I lament evolution threads because science has become political by people who never understood it in the first place. Both sides are guilty. The defenders overstate their claim and the deniers understate their claim on purpose.

I'm sorry, I disagree. Jon Snow does an excellent job of explaining his climatology references, as does Chimp_Ninja. While of course there are a few minor-league assets who just shout half-known statistics, most people I see cite studies showing global warming are on top of their shiat, and can actually state cogently what the study shows and proves.

Most people who post anti-global-warming studies, usually either don't understand the study came from a public policy think-tank and is valueless, or do not understand that the study does not argue against global warming at all.

I do not see the sides as being even in their use of statistics and science; mainly because, well, the science and statistics really are pretty one-sided.

Obdicut: That was a terrible sentence. Grammatically and philosophically.

It's 2:46am. Get over yourself.

Obdicut: Climatologists are really, really, really damn sure that CO2 causes global warming, and they're really, really, really sure that we've put huge amounts of CO2 in the air. They're really, really, really sure there's a direct correlation between that.

Of course they are. I don't doubt that is their belief for one second.

Obdicut: Weirdly enough, I trust science. What do you trust more than science? Right-wing radio?

Right-wing radio? To believe that science is at it's nature incomplete makes me a right wing nut?

What do I trust more than science? That is the problem. I don't "trust" science. Trust is a statement based on what I do not know. Trust is a prediction of reliance.

Science is not deserving of trust. Science depends on the constant questioning of general assumptions.

That is the problem with this windbag. There is no science in his assumption. It's merely an assertion by a scientist. That is why people think its bullshiat.

As vast as the ocean is and as little as we know in terms of the top predators and the stocks of their prey-fish a guess at global warming is laughable.

Grammatically and philosophically.


I almost forgot. That is an incomplete sentence. Normally I wouldn't care, but since you were being a grammar Nazi douche in that same post, I figured you'd appreciate the correction.

Obdicut: It's been a long, long time since I met someone with an honest question about global warming, either.

I have plenty of questions that I dare not ask around here and thats near impossible to find answers to without wading through tons of pages of "ZOMG! GW ISA SCAMORZ!" and "ANYONE WHO DOESNT BELIEVE GW IS RIGHT WING AN IS AGAINST SCIANCE!"

nuclear_asshat: As vast as the ocean is and as little as we know in terms of the top predators and the stocks of their prey-fish a guess at global warming is laughable.

Here's a question: Are fish generally found in specific temperature ranges in the ocean? And, if so, if the temperature ranges in the ocean shifted, would you expect the fish to shift where they inhabited? And, if so, doesn't that exactly say what this scientist says in the article?

He's accepted that global warming is happening, and is talking about what it means for his particular little corner of science. You can rail at him for not proving global warming before he talked about it, but, well, he probably just looked at the total consensus from climatologists, and took it as a given.

Here is his entire relevant quote, "Another contributory factor to the location of shark attacks could be global warming and rising sea temperatures. 'You'll find that some species will begin to appear in places they didn't in the past with some regularity,' he said."

Notice how he's using the future tense, and is being conditional about it?

I don't "trust" science. Trust is a statement based on what I do not know. Trust is a prediction of reliance.

Science is very reliable. You're typing on a computer and sending information out over the internet. Science works.

log_jammin: without wading through tons of pages of

and on TV


global warming is real...here's a scientist "Global warming is real". See?

Now that we have shown irrefutable proof of global warming here's 50 minutes of "OMG!! THE WORLD IS GOING TO FALL APART!!!"

log_jammin: have plenty of questions that I dare not ask around here

What are your questions? Why would you dare not ask them around here? What's going to happen to you?

If you have any questions that aren't red herrings, I'll gladly answer them to the best of my limited ability.

Obdicut: Notice how he's using the future tense, and is being conditional about it?

AKA: speculation.

log_jammin: AKA: speculation.

Exactly! We don't even know the context he offered the quote in. He might have been responding to a leading question, or saying, "Global warming exists. Because I know that the ocean temperatures are rising, I can talk about how that would affect fish species, which are my scientific specialty."

Like most scientists, he takes AGW as a given. It's not his field, but he trusts the field of Climatology to do good, peer-reviewed research.

Obdicut: What are your questions? Why would you dare not ask them around here? What's going to happen to you?

If you have any questions that aren't red herrings, I'll gladly answer them to the best of my limited ability.

just a min. got busy at work

nuclear_asshat: I almost forgot. That is an incomplete sentence. Normally I wouldn't care, but since you were being a grammar Nazi douche in that same post, I figured you'd appreciate the correction.


Nah. I was criticizing your sentence because it was written so awkwardly it took me about five times to read it. Breaking grammar rules is fun-- but only if you still communicate effectively.

And besides, J.P. Donleavy.

log_jammin: just a min. got busy at work

Well, my girlfriend's going to get back from the Roma festival, and then I won't be around. Gmail in profile, if you have honest questions, feel free to ask them.

Here's a good article to read, for some basics. Link (new window)

Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc: Scientist we've never heard of? How many scientists on average would you say most people have heard of? Stephen Hawking? Most people I know couldn't name more than five.

1. Albert Einstein
2. Batman
3. Spock
4. A computer
5. Et al.

This so-called Dr George Burgess of Florida University doesn't even make the list. He's a fraud.

Obdicut: Science is very reliable. You're typing on a computer and sending information out over the internet. Science works.

Like hell it's science. I'm not typing through a microscope you idiot. Typing is art. It's interpretive dance of the fingers, like a handheld DDR, but in 4-d. Dumbass.

hyperspacemonkey: Like hell it's science. I'm not typing through a microscope you idiot. Typing is art. It's interpretive dance of the fingers, like a handheld DDR, but in 4-d. Dumbass.

Have my babies?

log_jammin: just a min. got busy at work

Bow chikka wow wow this global warming thread just heated up!