Dick Clark says hi.

O.K., so you can live to be 256 if you eat only herbs that all taste like ass. And no bacon, not never, no.

What's the point?

oldebayer: O.K., so you can live to be 256 if you eat only herbs that all taste like ass. And no bacon, not never, no.

What's the point?

Yeah, that was the last of the 8-biatchinese herbalists. They have a new 16-bit herbalist that lives thousands of years.

I'm pretty sure Kieth Richards has had more than his fair share of Chinese "herbs".

Wow, arbitrary filter attack.

filterpwned

It must be true.

I can think of no reason why a man who sells health potions and herbs for a living would want to greatly exaggerate his age.

I'm 256 years old, so I'm really getting a kick out of...shiat, there goes my hip.

turns out lifetime in years is limited to 8 bits.

Not impressed.

get on my lawn?

Meh. The guy who wrote The Man From Earth told a better story than that guy.

/Yes, that movie was very, very good.

Like a lot of things this is mystical nonsense. This is like the Kung fu masters who could fly and shiat. There is and never will be any proof.

Smellvin: Meh. The guy who wrote The Man From Earth told a better story than that guy.

/Yes, that movie was very, very good.

Hi Smellvin,

I heard that movie was awesome.

Keep forgetting to look it up and buy it.

I'll believe that when me shiat turns purple, and smells like rainbow sherbet!

Where's the unlikely tag when you need it?

this bs made the front page?

pfff.. Yeah right.. I'd buy THAT for a dollar.

/also, props to Saberus Terras for the Super Troopers reference.

Pff, in hexadecimal he's only 100.

vossiewulf: Yeah, that was the last of the 8-biatchinese herbalists. They have a new 16-bit herbalist that lives thousands of years.

WINNAR!

What a crock of crap.

We need a bullsht tag.

sassafrassquatch: Not impressed.

Why is Yoda squatting next to pants?

It doesn't count if they're Chinese years! Get a western calender d*ckbag!
/didn't RTFA

Take my hand, Mr. Jingles

Lies.

Most mammals in perfect conditions tend to last six times the complete length of the puberty period (not just the visible pimply part) which in humans lasts 20 years.

So, ~120 years.

vodka: Like a lot of things this is mystical nonsense. This is like the Kung fu masters who could fly and shiat. There is and never will be any proof.

Well, why do you think the Chinese invented umbrellas?

I think this is more a tale of several people (probably of the same family) claiming the same name over several generations. As for legends of extremely long lives/immortality, we have recent legends such as this in our Western culture (Comte de St. Germain).
Otherwise the article is a non-story. If the writer had bothered to delve a little deeper he might have even made the non-story interesting.

He didn't die, he just overflowed back to 0.

The matrix keeps our age in an unsigned byte.

vodka: Like a lot of things this is mystical nonsense. This is like the Kung fu masters who could fly and shiat. There is and never will be any proof.

I don't need proof that they could shiat

His real name was Lo Pan:

The current theories on aging say immortality is plausible. There are biological creations that are virtually immortal. Cancers do not have an apoptosis mechanism, nor does their genome degrade with cell division. Theoretically, if you can stop the degradation of your own DNA, you don't age anymore.

It is a plausible theory, but I doubt that guy did it with his "herbal potions".

generic user: The current theories on aging say immortality is plausible. There are biological creations that are virtually immortal. Cancers do not have an apoptosis mechanism, nor does their genome degrade with cell division. Theoretically, if you can stop the degradation of your own DNA, you don't age anymore.

It is a plausible theory, but I doubt that guy did it with his "herbal potions".


This, very much.
He probably had alzheimer's and someone asked him if he was over 200 years old and he said "Sure, why else would I look so old? Buy some tea."

Some bacteria are essentially immortal but this guy... nah

FTA Comments:
"......Wayhigh's Law, part of which is as follows, "The first person to use the bible as an authoritative source in an argument instantly loses the argument."

Where's Bevet's when you wanna blast him..

I think Mr. Li pulled a Dread Pirate Roberts to get to 256.

Environmentalgraffiti.com = Weekly World News minus Batboy.

BULLshiat.

/It's more likely that Bevets and Skookum are real people.
//The FarkBots^tm are getting more realistic everyday.
///They're almost human!

Let's see here.

Lazarus Long
Woodrow Wilson Smith
Mr. Justice Lenox
Corporal Ted Bronson
Ernest Gibbons
Captain Aaron Sheffield
Happy Daze
Mr. Justice Lenox
Corporal Theodore "Ted" Bronson
Dr. Lafayette "Lafe" Hubert

Are we supposed to add Li Ching-Yun to the list?

My question is this. In his will who Li leave his best bed to?

What a load of crap.

Manic_Repressive: I'm pretty sure Kieth Richards has had more than his fair share of Chinese "herbs".

Isn't he the one who fell out of a coconut tree on Fiji a year or two ago?

Did he know the Comte St. Germain?

A much more plausible theory was that this guy was a series of guys (kinda like Ronald McDonald) who anonymously handed over the reins when they got to a certain age, to a younger person to carry on the "franchise".

FTFA: Does this therefore signify a superhuman body capable of lasting one quarter of a millennium, or is the story of Li Ching-Yun based on a series of half-truths, lies or exaggerations?

Unfortunately, we may never know. You may draw your own logical conclusions.


Yes, "we" may never know, especially because "I" drew a logical conclusion that it is unmitigated BS and you are selling pipe dreams on your web site.

He'd have gotten to live even longer if he'd upgraded to 16bit.

Good news, everyone.

Oh, I forgot what I was going to say.

Buddha! Zeus! God! Somebody help me! Satan, you owe me!

LewDux: I don't need proof that they could shiat


hehehehe