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(Yahoo) Obvious The 25 worst hair metal bands of all time. Isn't worst implied with hair metal?   (new.music.yahoo.com) divider line 114
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5365 clicks; posted to Music » on 03 May 2008 at 8:11 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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the voices in your head 2008-05-03 07:52:43 PM  
This link brings back horrible memories, and I wasn't even born until 1990. Thanks for nothing, older people.

 
strangeguitar 2008-05-03 08:07:45 PM  
Mr. Big???
Bullshiat!
Yeah they had a bad ballad tune, but Paul Gilbert & Billy Shennan ripped it the fark up on the first 2 albums. Great tunes with awesome, yet tasteful, shredding.

 
Isotope 2008-05-03 08:15:38 PM  
the voices in your head: Thanks for nothing, older people.

Get off my lawn, go back to the nursery and leave us to rock out in peace, dammit. =P

 
Stompn_Tom [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:18:03 PM  
Hair Metal was is awesome

 
182 2008-05-03 08:18:49 PM  
Did anyone notice the picture of Mr. Big was actually DLR's first solo band?

 
MetalGator 2008-05-03 08:19:53 PM  
I can't wait to go see the Bach worshippers on Blabbermouth reaction to this

 
Davescookies 2008-05-03 08:20:40 PM  
E'nuff Z'nuff is WAY worse than any of the bands in the top 10. Dangerous Toys, Bonham, dozens and dozens of other truly awful bands were omitted from this list. Stryper deserved to be #1, just because they're trying to be Christian and metal at the same time. And no Heavy Pettin' on the list? Shame on anybody who agrees with anything written by this douchebag.

 
Chastain86 2008-05-03 08:25:09 PM  
Shove it up your ass, kidmitter.

 
falconpunch 2008-05-03 08:26:09 PM  
W.A.S.P., Mr. Big, Dokken and Skid Row all brought the awesome.

 
RevMercutio [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:34:01 PM  
MetalGator: I can't wait to go see the Bach worshippers on Blabbermouth reaction to this

Especially since the douchebag writer didn't even write about the band, but instead went on a rant about reality television.

You work for Yahoo, kid. That pretty much negates any elitism or "indy credibility".

 
dletter [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:38:03 PM  
And just for comparison, his list of the 25 best Hair Metal bands:

Link (new window)

 
davynelson 2008-05-03 08:40:29 PM  
never listened to ANY of those.

too busy scouring the record bins for much cooler music.


/sometimes the clothes do make the man band

 
Tiredude99 [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:40:33 PM  
No mention of Kingdom Come? I saw them when they were the opening band at the Monsters of Rock tour '88 (KC, Metallica, Dokken, Scorpions, Van Halen) and were booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl. Everyone referred to them as Zeppelin knock offs

 
CheddarPants [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:42:24 PM  
Y & T were not hair metal, nor do they belong on a list of "worst" anything. That list sucks worse than most of those bands do.

 
Pavia_Resistance [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:48:01 PM  
Tiredude99: No mention of Kingdom Come? I saw them when they were the opening band at the Monsters of Rock tour '88 (KC, Metallica, Dokken, Scorpions, Van Halen) and were booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl. Everyone referred to them as Zeppelin knock offs

I noticed the absence of "Kingdom Clone" too.

 
chickyraptor 2008-05-03 08:48:34 PM  
Tiredude99: No mention of Kingdom Come? I saw them when they were the opening band at the Monsters of Rock tour '88 (KC, Metallica, Dokken, Scorpions, Van Halen)

ecx.images-amazon.com
Schizoid Man says 'ahem'.

 
TheSilverOne 2008-05-03 08:54:50 PM  
The article mentioned Europe... where's TMLO when you need him?

 
superbovine [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 08:56:40 PM  
Not that I care for any of the bands to any great extent, but this article reads EXACTLY like that crappy new music review article a few months ago that was uncovered to be written and then submitted by a totalfarker looking for some knobpolishing.



/run on sentences ftw

 
godiluvbeer 2008-05-03 09:07:34 PM  
img134.imageshack.us

best hair metal band EVAR!!!

 
The Dynamite Monkey 2008-05-03 09:10:34 PM  
No Winger and Poison at #1 (who were a bad band but a good hair metal band, if that makes any sense) makes this list teh craps.

"Bad Hair Metal band" is repetitively redundant.

And Dokken sucks and Don Dokken is a joke but George Lynch can play the bejeezus outta his geetar.

 
Bastinado 2008-05-03 09:16:09 PM  
182: Did anyone notice the picture of Mr. Big was actually DLR's first solo band?

Whoa, you're right. That's Steve Vai!

The Dynamite Monkey: No Winger and Poison at #1

Oh, you must have missed Winger on the 25 BEST list

/vomit

 
ArcLight [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-05-03 09:21:19 PM  
dletter: And just for comparison, his list of the 25 best Hair Metal bands:

Link (new window)


Well...that puts things into perspective. Needs to swap out around half the bands on each list.

 
SockMonkeyHolocaust 2008-05-03 09:23:52 PM  
No Guns and Roses?

 
Now That's What I Call a Taco! 2008-05-03 09:31:28 PM  
A whole lotta old, irrelevant farkers with their panties in a twist up in here

 
jj325 [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 09:32:16 PM  
Nice to see Poison made number 1. "Unskinny Bop" may be the worst song of the '80s, and that's saying a lot. The list ultimately fails for not including Winger. Stuart must have a fan.

 
Whatthefark 2008-05-03 09:37:01 PM  
Dokken shouldn't be on the list simply because George Lynch is awesome on the guitar. He was the only redeeming musician in the group.

Skid Row rocked too. Their first album was a little cheesy, but Slave to the Grind was great. Say what you want about his singing ability today, Sebastian Bach had an awesome voice back in the day.

dletter: And just for comparison, his list of the 25 best Hair Metal bands:

Queensryche at 23? Queensryche should easily be in the top ten, even higher if you comparing them to any of the other bands in his list.

I wonder if this list writer ate a lot of paint chips when he was a kid.

 
Whatthefark 2008-05-03 09:38:35 PM  
Oh, and he can kiss my shiny metal ass for putting Ozzy on a hair metal list. Ozzy isn't hair metal, Ozzy is metal!

 
mistervague 2008-05-03 09:44:58 PM  
I'll admit to owning albums from the following bands on that list:

- Bulletboys (lost)
- Warrant (WTF was I thinking spending my allowance on Cherry Pie!?)
- Europe (vinyl... tossed it)
- Whitesnake (vinyl... tossed it)
- Extreme (tossed)
- Skid Row (STILL LISTEN TO)
- Poison (x 2... one is lost)

 
bingo the psych-o 2008-05-03 09:59:08 PM  
I like how they slipped in a picture of Spinal Tap. Its right by the entry for Bad English.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-05-03 10:01:53 PM  
182: Did anyone notice the picture of Mr. Big was actually DLR's first solo band?

That was the first thing that I noticed. Kinda made it hard to take the rest of the alleged "article" seriously.

mistervague:
- Warrant (WTF was I thinking spending my allowance on Cherry Pie!?)


Since you mentioned buying it with your allowance, I'm clearly a few years older than you, but God help me, owning that tape actually got me laid once.

/that, and a bottle of Rumplemintz

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 10:04:23 PM  
SockMonkeyHolocaust: No Guns and Roses?

since they're not hair metal, no.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-05-03 10:10:59 PM  
SilentStrider: SockMonkeyHolocaust: No Guns and Roses?

since they're not hair metal, no.


That's debatable. They are, however #1 on the "best of" list that dletter linked.

 
Gilligan_Buddy 2008-05-03 10:12:13 PM  
Now That's What I Call a Taco!: A whole lotta old, irrelevant farkers with their panties in a twist up in here

Why don't you post 20 years from now when people make fun of your favorite music and bands? And what makes you relevant?

/New rule: If you weren't alive (and at least 15) when the music was popular, you have no right to criticize it.

 
skunkmasher 2008-05-03 10:12:55 PM  
The article author is a complete twatbag for NOT putting E'Nuff Z'Nuff on the worst list and FOR putting them on his best 25 list.

 
mistervague 2008-05-03 10:16:23 PM  
Ace Frehley's Ghost: 182: Did anyone notice the picture of Mr. Big was actually DLR's first solo band?

That was the first thing that I noticed. Kinda made it hard to take the rest of the alleged "article" seriously.

mistervague:
- Warrant (WTF was I thinking spending my allowance on Cherry Pie!?)

Since you mentioned buying it with your allowance, I'm clearly a few years older than you, but God help me, owning that tape actually got me laid once.

/that, and a bottle of Rumplemintz


Your Warrant was my Orbital.
Your Rumplemitz was my Cold Duck.

 
ugahairydawgs 2008-05-03 10:18:47 PM  
As I was scrolling down the page I was beginning to have serious doubts about the validity of said list.

Then I got to #1.

Well played list maker.

 
dosboot 2008-05-03 10:22:18 PM  
Just saw the lead singer of Britny Fox last night in Las Vegas. The guy can sing. Probably the best cover band that I've seen in Vegas. As is typical in Vegas, I was one of two audience members in the club. Vegas sucks for live music in bars.

 
dletter [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 10:22:48 PM  
Gilligan_Buddy: Now That's What I Call a Taco!: A whole lotta old, irrelevant farkers with their panties in a twist up in here

Why don't you post 20 years from now when people make fun of your favorite music and bands? And what makes you relevant?

/New rule: If you weren't alive (and at least 15) when the music was popular, you have no right to criticize it.


By that token, nobody should be able to criticize classical music at all.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-05-03 10:26:33 PM  
dletter: Gilligan_Buddy: Now That's What I Call a Taco!: A whole lotta old, irrelevant farkers with their panties in a twist up in here

Why don't you post 20 years from now when people make fun of your favorite music and bands? And what makes you relevant?

/New rule: If you weren't alive (and at least 15) when the music was popular, you have no right to criticize it.

By that token, nobody should be able to criticize classical music at all.


So who the hell criticizes classical music at this point? Criticizing individual performances doesn't count.

 
calufrax 2008-05-03 10:32:49 PM  
homepage.mac.com
...are annoyed at being forgotten about...

 
Lipspinach 2008-05-03 10:33:01 PM  
All Classical music is excellent! Especially Emerson Lake & Palmer!

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-05-03 10:34:56 PM  
because Shotgun Messiah is mentioned in the article, this is their singer/former KMFDM member/current Manson member*:


www.metalsludge.tv


that pic never gets old.

*I'm not sure about his employment, I'm not a fan of Manson and haven't been one of KMFDM for a few years.

 
R.A.Danny [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 10:40:33 PM  
I'd hit Lita Ford right in front of my wife

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-05-03 10:43:07 PM  
SilentStrider: SockMonkeyHolocaust: No Guns and Roses?

since they're not hair metal, no.



I think the only thing really separating GNR from hair metal is quality. I think GNR were, by and large, making the same kind of music as Motley Crue, Poison, etc. etc., but were MUCH much better at it and a lot less fake.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-05-03 10:44:40 PM  
R.A.Danny: I'd hit Lita Ford right in front of my wife

Have you seen a recent pic of her?

Back in the day, yeah. Now... let's just say I'm not a fan of the leather exterior she's got going on. The rock and roll lifestyle from her 20's and 30's is real evident now.

 
coffee fiend 2008-05-03 10:48:14 PM  
Whatthefark: Skid Row rocked too. Their first album was a little cheesy, but Slave to the Grind was great. Say what you want about his singing ability today, Sebastian Bach had an awesome voice back in the day.

That he did. Only Geoff Tate had a better voice, IMO.



Queensryche at 23? Queensryche should easily be in the top ten, even higher if you comparing them to any of the other bands in his list.

Personally, I don't think of them as hair metal, but more prog metal.

 
finaboy 2008-05-03 10:50:29 PM  
Who the fark is Rob O'Connor?

 
hulk hogan meat shoes 2008-05-03 10:51:20 PM  
Checks list for Damn Yankees...

Damn Yankess is on there...

Ted Nugent sucks.

 
coffee fiend 2008-05-03 10:55:47 PM  
Oh, and why is it that a fake band(Spinal Tap) always shows up on any "best of" or "greatest" lists?

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 10:59:33 PM  
FeedTheCollapse: but were MUCH much better at it and a lot less fake.

and thats what made them not hair metal. hair metal was more about style over substance, see Poison. GnR had plenty of style, but not at the cost of substance. They also had a viciousness that no hair metal band could even come close to matching. Of 80's bands, they matched only maybe Metallica or Megadeth for viciousness.

 
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