And at the top of the page:

DarthBrooks: And at the top of the page:

Win.

I hate dumbshiats who forward crap like that. I hate it more than fake virus warnings people forward on. All they have to do is spend 20 seconds on google to find out if they are true.

World is full of people dumber than a box full of pig shiat

Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase grade schoolers with your new snowblower.

/mem-reeees.....in the corners of my mind......

I'd usually check Snopes.com, but I'm not exactly sure how credible they really are.

I trust not but thee and me, and I'm not so sure of thee ...

Hello Friend,

I represent a wealthy Nigerian Prince and have been tasked with disseminating his excess money. Please send me your bank account number and any other relevant information so that I may deposit the money into your account.

Thank you.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: /mem-reeees.....in the dark corners of my mind......

Fixed that for you.

someone put a sign and a bowl up in our break room requesting to donate your plastic bottle caps to raise money for whatever ...

some people are sooo stupid ...

want to raise some money ? why don you just give $10 to a charity thats like 10,000 botle caps right there

/ya moran

That's because people on the internets are farking retarded.



//wait...what?

These aren't true? No $$ from Bill Gates? No British Lottery in US $$? No wealthy widow with cancer who wants to give me her fortune??
What about all those kittens - they actually die, right?

Instead of just telling the myths, they need to be put to the test.

I happen to KNOW that Mister Rogers was a sniper during the Viet Nam war. He wore the sweaters to cover his Marine tattoos.

We're sorry you know that, gbv23. Now we have to kill you.

Around here we call them "id10ts".

Why is it that I've never seen a redemption center for the soda can tabs? These people who save the bottle caps and pull tabs "for kids with cancer" or the Annenberg/CPB Project or Hamas or the KKK or whatever--do they ever try to redeem them?

I went to my sister's house a few years ago and yup, she had a gallon milk jug with can tabs in it, so I asked her straight up what she was planning to do. Her response was vague and had to do with kids with cancer, camp, raising money, et c. So I asked her where she was planning to redeem them, and she said, oh, this chick at work told me about it...I was vaguely hoping that someone with an actual medical billing background and a real charity had told her, but I already half-knew better. Anyhow, I've still never seen a redemption center that takes can tabs in a straight-up trade for a hospital bill, or a medical collections office with a bunch of big plastic buckets for all the bottle caps they take in trade.

At least pop can tops can be recycled. Chain letters, especially those which prey on good nature, are despicable, even online, where the spam jams the internet and raises the cost of legitimate activity for everybody, even futile pastimes like Fark posts. By the way, you can donate DIRECTLY to the World Food Programme and it's tax-deductible if done right.

I apologize, but my mom and my uncle are the ones who forwarded it. I keep telling both of them that they're not going to get rich forwarding e-mail and that AOL, Microsoft and Intel haven't merged.

And then a few months later, one of them forwards one to me again.

I just like pictures of sick children.

I hate these more:

SPEAK UP FOR YOUR COUNTRY CANADIANS!

...

It's time we all get behind Bruce Allen, and scrap this Political Correctness business. His comments were anything but racist, but there are far too many overly-sensitive 'New Canadians' that are trying to change everything we hold dear.

For example, our National Anthem: Don't know what your opinions are, but I certainly agree. --- I'm sorry, but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Hindi - enough is enough. Nowhere or at no other time in our nation's history, did they sing it in Italian, Japanese, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German, Portuguese, Greek, or any other language because of immigration. It was written in English, and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close.

I am not sorry if this offends anyone, this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP ---- please pass this along.... I am not against immigration .. Just come through like everyone else... Get a sponsor; get a place to lay your head; get a job; pay your taxes; live by the rules ...AND... LEARN THE LANGUAGE

As all other immigrants have in the past ..

And LONG LIVE CANADA!

PART OF THE PROBLEM? Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone-----YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !!!!

Will we still be the Country of Choice and still be CANADA if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries who have come to live in CANADA because it is the Country of Choice??????

Think about it! IMMIGRANTS, NOT CANADIAN'S, MUST ADAPT. It is Time for CANADA to Speak up. If you agree - pass This along.

---

My supervisor gets them all the time from her retarded in-laws, basically any xenophobic/Christian paranoia thing that comes down the pike ends up in her inbox. She sends them to me for the lulz. Common themes, as above, are an inability to use the English language properly, and a barely-disguised craving on the writer's part to bash some pakis.

I desperately want to Reply All with a devastating critique of the message and its language but that would just get HER in hot water :P

gbv23 I happen to KNOW that Mister Rogers was a sniper during the Viet Nam war.


I thought that was John Denver

/or someone like that
//I know.....I know....

Mentalpatient87: I'd usually check Snopes.com, but I'm not exactly sure how credible they really are.



/obligatory

The pull tabs thing is especially strange, because at one point , in some cases, there was an actual address somewhere where people were sending them. Years ago I read an article by some reporter who was trying to track them and they kept disappearing or going to warehouses that no longer existed...

snikrepkire: Years ago I read an article by some reporter who was trying to track them and they kept disappearing or going to warehouses that no longer existed...

Pulltabs are always being collected by Majestik-12 to power the inverse tachyon drive in the foo-fighters.

FreeRice.com has donated 29 billion grains of rice.

My rough estimates bring that to around 571 cubic meters. Not bad, however that fed, what, 2.5 million people for a day.

Everybody else in my family, whether they have educational degrees or not, all do it. They forward all of these charity pleas, virus alerts, medical warnings, tales of horror at the gas station and you name it. I'm surprised none of them have fallen for the Nigerian scams yet. Or maybe they are hiding it.

/What does this imply about me being part of this family tree? Yuck.

If all the people who are stupid enough to fall for that crap were to instantly be turned into fertilizer, the world would be a better place and the overall intelligence of humanity would be much improved.

I had a couple of older friends who learned how to logon and they used to send me this shiat all the time. Drove me nuts. I finally sent out a general email to all of them explaining that Bill Gates doesn't want to make them rich, that Pyramid scheme is BS, that you can't knock out someone waving a perfume bottle full of chloroform in the open air, and that Nigerian prince really doesn't want to bequeath any money to them. And I asked them to knock it off with the jokes and the political BS as well.

They finally caught on

I'm sitting here with a hypodermic syringe in my ass after diving into a ball pit so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

I cannot believe people still fall for these things.

Like phishing, except not as malicious. Just annoying.

The worst part is that some folks I am aware of actually get mad at you for refusing to play along with these e-mails. So strong is their belief.

I've gotten the argument "What does it hurt to play along? If its true, it does something good"


Humans are idiots. Capable of intelligent thought, but rarely is that talent displayed.

The stupid dog exhibit one annoys the hell out of me.

TheCid: Mentalpatient87: I'd usually check Snopes.com, but I'm not exactly sure how credible they really are.

/obligatory

I've never seen that before but yesterday I was thinking about snopes and after a couple minutes, that idea popped into my head. "Well who the hell runs Snopes and how do I know they're not bullshiat artists?" Damn. I didn't know that. That sucks.

/Paid for 5 sick kids surgeries before reading & posting in this thread.
//Thats my good deed for the day.

Y'all are just jealous that Microsoft is gonna pay me test their new email service, and not you!

Suck it, haters!

One of my favorites is when the person who sent me the email opens with, "I don't know if this is true, but I can't take the chance! I really need the money!"

Please; you're no smarter than the person who believes it 100%.

Also, do a little fact checking before you attribute some rant to Andy Rooney, Robin Williams, or whoever. If what someone said is worth my time, (and in these emails, it's usually not) you don't need to give credit to someone else to give the words more meaning.

Any time anybody falls for spam... in any insance... the person should be boiled. Then shot. Then locked in a refrigerator and have the refrigerator thrown into the ocean.


Slowly, the league of morons will disappear, and the rest of us will not have to delete 5 crap messages a day out of our inboxes.

At my last workplace. There was a coffee can half filled will pop can tabs and on it was that thing where the tabs help some charity.

I told someone it's a hoax and I can't believe someone bothered to do that.

They didn't believe me. Yeah.

pummisher: At my last workplace. There was a coffee can half filled will pop can tabs and on it was that thing where the tabs help some charity.

I told someone it's a hoax and I can't believe someone bothered to do that.

They didn't believe me. Yeah.

You might want to talk to the people at Ronald McDonald House. Not everything is a hoax.

highwayrun: Why is it that I've never seen a redemption center for the soda can tabs?

I just did a GIS, expecting to see Snopes, and came across this (new window).

Fact Man:
Slowly, the league of morons will disappear, and the rest of us will not have to delete 5 crap messages a day out of our inboxes.

Five... FIVE crap messages a day? That's your total daily spam load? Oh the huge manatee!!

Facebook: "Stop Plate Tectonics" could really use your help! There are only 3 members, how sad, for such an important cause

My favourite spam...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: Mar 12, 2006 11:22 AM
Subject: Your Account Not Is Working Now Please

>
> Hello Paypal User Your account not is working now!
>
> You must reply this email with check with youre credit card number and
> address and name so i can check youre account is working now.
>
> Youre account will not work soon until account will work when you send number
> and expiry date. We will not be illegally buy with youre card. Beware illegally
> fraud mans and womans! This is a real email! You know because it come from
> pay pal. It says from pay pal at the end so you know it is not fake. If you do
> not send real credit card numbers for check there will be a bad fine.
>
> From pay pal ofices.
> This is a real email.
> pa­yp­a­l­officialn­oti­ce­liamtohc­o­m
>
>

"I've checked Snopes.com and found nothing about it."

Does this set off your Bull shiat Alarm too?