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(Toronto Star) Interesting The secret to a happy marriage: be annoying   (thestar.com) divider line 150
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25607 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2008 at 11:21 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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chuck4455 [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:05:36 AM  
Done and done.

 
Bacon 2008-05-03 11:27:49 AM  
LoL

 
toejam 2008-05-03 11:28:03 AM  
But honey, the article says I should scrape my toes with a butter knife.

 
RabidSquirrel 2008-05-03 11:28:25 AM  
Strangely similar to the secret to an UNhappy marriage.

 
Parasitic_Spin [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:28:38 AM  
OMG We will always be together!

 
van1ty 2008-05-03 11:30:50 AM  
may 3 and they still had leftover chicken from the superbowl? don't be surprised if we get a followup in a week about some old guy getting food poisoning.

 
NASAM 2008-05-03 11:31:55 AM  
chuck4455: Done and done.

Right there with ya pal.

 
Cordwainer Deathbird 2008-05-03 11:32:40 AM  
My wife will be happy to hear this.

Or maybe not . . .

 
aarond12 2008-05-03 11:34:38 AM  
This article was pilfered from the WSJ... but I'm having trouble finding the original article. It's stolen almost word for word!

 
Lumoclear 2008-05-03 11:35:46 AM  
Does burping, scratching one's nutsack, and farting constitute annoying?

If so, I am in for a long marriage to my wife.

Sometimes she scratches my nutsack for me. "Honey, my balls are itchy. Can you scratch them for me?" Now that is commitment.

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:35:46 AM  
aarond12: This article was pilfered from the WSJ... but I'm having trouble finding the original article. It's stolen almost word for word!

O RLY

 
Babbs 2008-05-03 11:36:33 AM  
According to the article, I will be married for a loooooong time. My husband was annoying the FARK outta me last night!

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:36:35 AM  
aarond12: This article was pilfered from the WSJ... but I'm having trouble finding the original article. It's stolen almost word for word!

Feminazis did it.

/Not againts feminism
//But excess in all it's forms is a bad thing

 
GroovyKodiaK 2008-05-03 11:37:31 AM  
wow, after reading that, i never want to farking marry even more.

she lists a bunch of negatives about the husband, and he kind of lets it go and doesn't argue it, but when he tells her she leaves the toothpaste uncapped, she responds "deal with it", even though it requires much less work to rectify.


why doesn't the husband just respond "deal with it" to all of her initial complaints?


Oh wait, because she has his balls in a blender and her finger on the "Purée" button.



/never. getting. married.

 
jgi 2008-05-03 11:37:45 AM  
That article sure was annoying... but I divorced it about half-way through.

 
toejam 2008-05-03 11:37:48 AM  
Babbs: According to the article, I will be married for a loooooong time. My husband was annoying the FARK outta me last night!

He needs to fark the annoying out of you.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-05-03 11:38:13 AM  
i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

 
Moonfisher 2008-05-03 11:38:21 AM  
Notice it says annoying, not outright antagonistic or nasty to each other. Hubby and I are very happy, but of course we're only 4 years into the marriage, 10 years into the dating. I will risk guessing that it has more to do with how you handle being annoyed with each other (i.e. just good humored biatching as opposed to plate hurling) rather than the actual being annoyed. Anyone who says they don't annoy each other is an outright liar.

 
St. Spuzzum 2008-05-03 11:38:25 AM  
I think that was a sweet story. After so many articles about the increase in the divorce rate, it's nice to know that some marriages last.

/Still doesn't change my vow to NEVER get married.

 
GibbyTheMole 2008-05-03 11:39:58 AM  
"Then I asked Sue if I have any good points. She didn't respond immediately. Finally, she said, "When I give you a list of chores, you do them. Only recently did you take the initiative to do the laundry. You do empty the dishwasher and I don't even have to tell you. And you do vacuum the house."

So.... being your wife's biatch is the first "good" point she thought of?

Nice.

/happily married for 20+ years

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-05-03 11:39:59 AM  
Sue and I seldom quarrel, not only because I know I will lose but also because I am almost always wrong. Even Sue will concede that I am right about this.

damn, that guy is whupped.

 
SharkInfested 2008-05-03 11:40:56 AM  
great, then I'm going to be stuck with those two forever.

 
NeuroticMan 2008-05-03 11:41:26 AM  
aarond12: This article was pilfered from the WSJ... but I'm having trouble finding the original article. It's stolen almost word for word!

If you look at the byline of the article it says that it's written by Jerry Zezima from the Stamford Advocate. I'm guessing both the WSJ and the TorStar are legally reprinting a referenced article from another paper.

Of course, blatant plagiarism is a much more likely scenario. Kudos!

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:42:11 AM  
they forgot "stick it in her pooper"

 
strathmeyer 2008-05-03 11:42:50 AM  
aarond12: This article was pilfered from the WSJ... but I'm having trouble finding the original article. It's stolen almost word for word!

Indeed, they both seem to have stolen with from the Stamford Advocate...

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:44:05 AM  
GroovyKodiaK: wow, after reading that, i never want to farking marry even more.

she lists a bunch of negatives about the husband, and he kind of lets it go and doesn't argue it, but when he tells her she leaves the toothpaste uncapped, she responds "deal with it", even though it requires much less work to rectify.


why doesn't the husband just respond "deal with it" to all of her initial complaints?


Oh wait, because she has his balls in a blender and her finger on the "Purée" button.



/never. getting. married.


dont marry a crazy biatch and you should be fine

/to bad well adjusted women are at a premium
//married

 
the voices in your head 2008-05-03 11:44:21 AM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:46:44 AM  
GroovyKodiaK
wow, after reading that, i never want to farking marry even more.

she lists a bunch of negatives about the husband, and he kind of lets it go and doesn't argue it, but when he tells her she leaves the toothpaste uncapped, she responds "deal with it", even though it requires much less work to rectify.


His annoyance: Sitting around all day doing nothing, so she has to do it or it does not get done.
Hers: leaves cap off toothpaste, so he has to put it back on.

Requires much less work for him to deal with, you mean.

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:47:56 AM  
the voices in your head: re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.


ballsack is a well known aphrodisiac

 
No Such Agency 2008-05-03 11:48:38 AM  
GroovyKodiaK:
wow, after reading that, i never want to farking marry even more.
she lists a bunch of negatives about the husband, and he kind of lets it go and doesn't argue it, but when he tells her she leaves the toothpaste uncapped, she responds "deal with it", even though it requires much less work to rectify.
why doesn't the husband just respond "deal with it" to all of her initial complaints?


Well there is the "access to pussy" aspect. Plus, someone has to defuse every confrontation by backing down. My GF in college was frighteningly incapable of this, she would probably have taken every argument (not just with me) to the point of knife-fighting if the other person hadn't used l33t defusing skills, run away, or just said "ok you are right". I watched her lose a few good friends from it, incidentally. Some of them are now MY friends, LOL

I'm not sure why I put up with that for so long... oh right, inertia, plus "20 y.o. Korean pussy".

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-05-03 11:50:30 AM  
MonkeyVegetables: the voices in your head: re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.

ballsack is a well known aphrodisiac


seems to be a good way to get smacked too.

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:51:12 AM  
No Such Agency: GroovyKodiaK:
wow, after reading that, i never want to farking marry even more.
she lists a bunch of negatives about the husband, and he kind of lets it go and doesn't argue it, but when he tells her she leaves the toothpaste uncapped, she responds "deal with it", even though it requires much less work to rectify.
why doesn't the husband just respond "deal with it" to all of her initial complaints?

Well there is the "access to pussy" aspect. Plus, someone has to defuse every confrontation by backing down. My GF in college was frighteningly incapable of this, she would probably have taken every argument (not just with me) to the point of knife-fighting if the other person hadn't used l33t defusing skills, run away, or just said "ok you are right". I watched her lose a few good friends from it, incidentally. Some of them are now MY friends, LOL

I'm not sure why I put up with that for so long... oh right, inertia, plus "20 y.o. Korean pussy".


haha THIS
i was hanging out with my single friends have a video hockey tournament (2k8) and when i lost and went to go home i mentioned i was going to "give it" to the wife they responded with a "so theres the real winner" comment

/they dont get the pussy too often

 
Orosian 2008-05-03 11:52:24 AM  
the voices in your head: re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.


You excite me.

/Nice shoes. Wanna be annoyed?

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 11:53:53 AM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: MonkeyVegetables: the voices in your head: re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.

ballsack is a well known aphrodisiac

seems to be a good way to get smacked too.


has it ever gotten you some sex?

/if you want to really get smacked give her a hitler with some weiner juice
//i do get smacked if you were wondering

 
jgi 2008-05-03 11:54:00 AM  
No Such Agency: Well there is the "access to pussy" aspect.

Or... don't get married, stay in shape, improve yourself, dress well, read often, learn the art of conversation, and be a gentleman. You'll get pussy until you die.

 
windbag 2008-05-03 11:56:13 AM  
Strangely enough, rubbing each other the wrong way might be the right way to conduct a marriage.

FTFY

 
DrMcNinja 2008-05-03 11:57:36 AM  
FTFA:Sue and I seldom quarrel, not only because I know I will lose but also because I am almost always wrong. Even Sue will concede that I am right about this."

I really hate it when guys say things like this. Is it supposed to be funny? That you're a twatwaffle? Don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and say "Gee, I sure have no say of my own and will submit to a shrew of a biatch"? How could you live with yourself? And when I ask this of old timers, they just say that I'll learn with time. NO! NO! Learning to let your wife dominate you is NOT an inevitable part of a man's life. FARK that.

But what digs at me the most is that they joke about it because it's socially acceptable. Because that's what every TV ad and sitcom would have you believe, that the husband is just some inept doormat who, for some reason, is capable of walking to the door without his pants falling down. If you've resigned yourself to a life of biatchdom, fine, but don't joke about it like it's okay. Hide your shame, eunuch.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-05-03 12:00:12 PM  
MonkeyVegetables: re-elect_jimmy_carter: MonkeyVegetables: the voices in your head: re-elect_jimmy_carter: i try to wipe my hand on my ballsack and put it under my wife's nose atleast once a night so i guess im covered.

You scare me.

ballsack is a well known aphrodisiac

seems to be a good way to get smacked too.

has it ever gotten you some sex?

/if you want to really get smacked give her a hitler with some weiner juice
//i do get smacked if you were wondering


the trick is to shield your face before you actually do the deed.

 
comslave 2008-05-03 12:00:19 PM  
secret to happy marriage? DON'T GET MARRIED!

 
hogans 2008-05-03 12:00:49 PM  
I'm going to start a new business as a marriage counselor. Lesson one: learning from other cultures. More specifically, the Kancho!

More online lessons will be made available for a small fee.

 
No Such Agency 2008-05-03 12:06:21 PM  
jgi:
No Such Agency: Well there is the "access to pussy" aspect.

Or... don't get married, stay in shape, improve yourself, dress well, read often, learn the art of conversation, and be a gentleman. You'll get pussy until you die.


Frankly... I see it like this. I figure, old people are wrinkly and gross. But old couples have had decades to get used to each other's specific wrinkly grossness. I don't want to be having to turn on my game when I'm like 70, just to be rewarded with wrinkly grossness that I'm not familiar with.

Plus there's the whole next generation thing. I'm pretty sure single guys are never, ever gonna be able to adopt kids, because there's a 1% chance they might be a pedo. So you pretty much have to have a female partner to reproduce, and then you might as well stay together because it's less hassle than trying to raise the kid separately.

 
CharonCaori 2008-05-03 12:09:08 PM  
DrMcNinja: Don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and say "Gee, I sure have no say of my own and will submit to a shrew of a biatch"? How could you live with yourself?

THIS.

 
Ryankenny 2008-05-03 12:09:38 PM  
If I tell my wife that something annoys me and she replies "DEAL WITH IT" . . . that kinda doesn't sound like love. That sounds like the door hitting her on the ass on the way out.

 
Anne.Uumellmahaye 2008-05-03 12:13:51 PM  
DrMcNinja: FTFA:Sue and I seldom quarrel, not only because I know I will lose but also because I am almost always wrong. Even Sue will concede that I am right about this."

I really hate it when guys say things like this. Is it supposed to be funny? That you're a twatwaffle? Don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and say "Gee, I sure have no say of my own and will submit to a shrew of a biatch"? How could you live with yourself? And when I ask this of old timers, they just say that I'll learn with time. NO! NO! Learning to let your wife dominate you is NOT an inevitable part of a man's life. FARK that.

But what digs at me the most is that they joke about it because it's socially acceptable. Because that's what every TV ad and sitcom would have you believe, that the husband is just some inept doormat who, for some reason, is capable of walking to the door without his pants falling down. If you've resigned yourself to a life of biatchdom, fine, but don't joke about it like it's okay. Hide your shame, eunuch.


Preach it. Seriously, I hate crap like that.

 
Excen 2008-05-03 12:13:52 PM  
CharonCaori: DrMcNinja: Don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and say "Gee, I sure have no say of my own and will submit to a shrew of a biatch"? How could you live with yourself?

THIS.


Seconded.

/Not married, future doesn´t look good.

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 12:13:55 PM  
DrMcNinja: I really hate it when guys say things like this. Is it supposed to be funny? That you're a twatwaffle? Don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and say "Gee, I sure have no say of my own and will submit to a shrew of a biatch"? How could you live with yourself? And when I ask this of old timers, they just say that I'll learn with time. NO! NO! Learning to let your wife dominate you is NOT an inevitable part of a man's life. FARK that.

But what digs at me the most is that they joke about it because it's socially acceptable. Because that's what every TV ad and sitcom would have you believe, that the husband is just some inept doormat who, for some reason, is capable of walking to the door without his pants falling down. If you've resigned yourself to a life of biatchdom, fine, but don't joke about it like it's okay. Hide your shame, eunuch.


HEAR HEAR!

 
girljen 2008-05-03 12:14:06 PM  
Whenever two people spend that much time around each other, whether they're a married couple or siblings or partners on an ambulance or whatever, they are going to annoy the crap out of each other. Guaranteed.

/also, what DrMcNinja said
//have a little respect

 
kingflower 2008-05-03 12:18:15 PM  
It would be nice if we could bring back caveman rules.....you mouth off, that's a clubbing.

 
Bhasayate [TotalFark] 2008-05-03 12:18:32 PM  
For crying out loud, put the damn cap on the tube of toothpaste!!! It's not that hard! Stupid twat.

 
KerwoodDerby 2008-05-03 12:19:19 PM  
Now here I was thinking that it was low expectations that made for a happy marriage.

/What, honey?
//Oh, nothing...

 
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