Well, they got "Chevy Van," which is undoubtedly the worst song of the 1970s; but they missed a double-header for second place, both from the same artist.

Blind Man in the Bleachers (new window)
Run Joey Run (new window)

David Geddes has much to answer for.

Yeah, like Razzle was anything to look at, right?

They also missed this craptacular gem:

Tie a Yellow Ribbon (pops)

I was riding in the far back seat of a Pontiac station wagon on a 14 hour family trip in 1974, right when Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun was being played on every AM station every ten minutes.

To this day the mere thought of that song makes me want to stab someone's eyeballs out with shiat-encrusted shrimp forks. Preferably Terry Jacks'. Then I'd bury him alive with enough air and water to take him 14 days or so, and strap an iPod with a 14 day battery supply to his head with the volume on 11, with that song on endless repeat.

vossiewulf, I was in 5th grade when it came out and the rumor going around was that he was really dying. We were stupid and believed it (see: 5th grade). He's still very much alive. Rod McKuen, not so much.

Worst than that, though, was the song he did with his (then) wife Susan under The Poppy Family. "Which Way You Goin', Billy" (promise not a rickroll, but this time it'd be preferable). Mitigating factor: never saw her before, she's kinda hot.

I don't mind a few of those, but Muskrat Love makes me wanna borrow your shrimp forks.

...and the same cloth whence all current radio-friendly crap be cut

Also missed Shannon by Henry Gross.

Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods -- Bo Don't Be a Homo

Fixed that song title for him.

Everytime I get nostalgic for the 1970s, I just think of songs like this and it goes away. My mom loved that Terry Jacks song...I can remember her singing it all the time when I was little.

"One Tin Soldier"

Two missing, at least.

"Brandy" and "Wildfire"

It disturbs Me to admit I've heard all them except "Chevy Van".
-even worse- I might have a good amount of the lyrics stuck in the deep crap-folders of My mind. .. yoiks!

pandabear: Two missing, at least.

"Brandy" and "Wildfire"

Those are both great, and if anyone ever bad mouths Chevy Van by Sammy Johns again, I am sending a harshly worded letter.

pandabear: "Wildfire"

You sir, are wrong about this song. This is the best song about a dead horse ever written. "Sugar hiccup" by the Cocteau Twins is a close second.

Wiiiiiiiildfiiiiiiiiire, calling Wiiiiiiiiiiilllddddfiiirrre!

treecologist: Wiiiiiiiildfiiiiiiiiire, she ran calling Wiiiiiiiiiiilllddddfiiirrre!

No ad-libbing.

The only redeeming quality of this is the absence of Yacht Rock.

nopokerface: Those are both great, and if anyone ever bad mouths Chevy Van by Sammy Johns again, I am sending a harshly worded letter.

treecologist: You sir, are wrong about this song. This is the best song about a dead horse ever written.

Flashbacks to 1975 occurring! High-school freshman pandabear and his younger brother and sister are sitting in the back seat of the '65 Mustang. David Bowie comes on. Dad turns the radio down. Barry Manilow comes on, Mom turns the radio up. The Eagles come on, radio down. Michael Martin Murphy, up. Doobie Brothers, down. Barely controlled rage in back.

Pedestrian list.

Why were there so many songs about dead animals and dead, estranged boyfriends in the 70s? And what's the deal with airline food, anyway?

Is Terry Jacks wearing any pants in that video clip?

check him out at 2m24s. The dude is playing the guitar and singing while pantless.

Kinky.

Hell's iPod, nothing. Our 1972 Ford Torino's radio was apparently divinely tuned to play only the songs in TFA and this thread. At least I was not in the US during the "MacArthur Park" wave in the 1980s. Ugh, need brain bleach.

These songs were all great, and have helped make me the well-rounded, open minded person that I am today.

Let's dance.

I'm sorry I clicked on the thread, I'm sorry I clicked on the link.
I keep trying to forget these tunes and I keep getting reminded.
/goes and puts headphones and plays something, anything else.

Ray Peterson - Tell Laura I love her (new window)

Oh man, I had completely forgotten about Blind Man in the Bleachers. Thanks for reminding me. And by "thanks," I of course mean "CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEED THROUGHOUT ETERNITY."

But dangit, I liked "Chevy Van." Sure, it's cheese, but it's good cheese.

I hate scrolling through worst band/song/album, etc. lists, because I'm stuck sitting there expecting an inevitable entry on it that I actually love and getting all worked about it. By some miracle, that actually wasn't necessary this time.

All selection on the Sirius Totally 70s JUKEBOX FROM HELL. Oh and Run Joey Run should be on the list.

Wow. Muskrat love owns that article.

nutmilk: Wow. Muskrat love owns that article.

No Chevy Van is worse.

Tom_Slick: No Chevy Van is worse.

Prepare for your sternly worded letter.

/and that's alright with me

nopokerface: Prepare for your sternly worded letter.

I also assert that Run Joey Run is worse than Escape The Pina Colada song.

Tom_Slick: I also assert that Run Joey Run is worse than Escape The Pina Colada song.

I agree, but I like Rupert.

Wait are we ripping on the videos or the songs?
cause there are a lot of great songs on the list.

the videos are sucktacular though

Charlene - I've Never Been to Me (new window - Rickroll-Free™)

This was big when I was dating my very first girlfriend, and she used to play this over and over and over and over and over. My left side would go numb and my vision would get all pink and I'd get this weird stabby twitch in my right arm. At the time, the only prescription for it was one of her extra-special BJs.

I've heard this song exactly twice in the 26 years since we dated and each time I had the same stroke-like symptoms, but alas no palliative. That was tough.

Great list excepet for Heartbeat (It's A Love Beat), I used to LOVE that song during my bubblegum phase. It doesn't belong on the list with the other morose tripe.

ozricale: other morose tripe

You also meant to exclude Chevy Van from that description, right? No? I'm gonna get carpel tunnel from all this letter writing.

Captain and Tenille are awesome...I really like their alter ego..The Surf Punks.

...weren't these on one of those "AM Classics!" music compilation CDs they try to foist on the stupidly nostalgic?

I have a CD in the car that I listen to when I'm going to work and would rather be doing anything else. The theme of the CD is "so bad it's good", and I always crack up blasting out:

Tie a Yellow Ribbon
Love Will Keep Us Together
Rocky Mountain High
Escape (Pina Colada)
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Can't Smile Without You

There are a few others.

pandabear: Two missing, at least.

"Brandy" and "Wildfire"

sorry, I like Brandy.
/the 70's have so many bad songs you can't limit it to 8, or 80

Sammy Johns -- Chevy Van

That's a great song that would never even get released today.

Guy in his van picks up a girl hitchhiking, lusts over her, nails her, then drops her off in the middle of nowhere. Good times.

What you haters never do is also add a list of what you think is the best, so we can be further educated by your oh-so-great wisdom.

Also, that movie in the clip, "The Van" is a great slice of 70's drive-in cinematic genius.

The Night Chicago Died...ugh. And apparently, these butt-nuggets did Billy Don't Be A Hero first.

Link (new window)

barneyfifesbullet: then drops her off in the middle of nowhere. Good times.

He drops her off in her little home town, he's a responsible guy.

/I said get some sleep and dream of Rock and Roll

Someone should go back in time and drop off a copy of Fergie's
LONDON BRIDGE with Wolfman Jack so it could be on the list.



"Sorry, mate. I'll be too busy catching Ian Dury and The Block Heads."

Chevy Van ftw.

This pretentious ponderous collection of crappy songs is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create this list, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'

Rickenbacker: The Night Chicago Died...ugh. And apparently, these butt-nuggets did Billy Don't Be A Hero first.

Link (new window)

Paper Lace did "The Night Chicago Died"

Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods did "Billy...".

/ashamed that I knew this without Googling

Does Rupert Holmes have that '70's porn star look or is it just me? I guess everybody had that look in the '70's. Except me.

pandabear: Two missing, at least.

"Brandy" and "Wildfire"

I thought people liked "Brandy."

/fine girl
//good wife she would be

Mad Mark: Does Rupert Holmes have that '70's porn star look or is it just me? I guess everybody had that look in the '70's. Except me.

Have you seen him recently? He switched from pina coladas to milkshakes.

btraud: I thought people liked "Brandy."

That song is awesome. I have destroyed it many times in many karaoke bars. I don't rock.