So they've ruled out Land Shark. Good work.

If you recognise the water in this image, please contact the FBI or your local law enforment agency

Knock Knock. Open the door. It's safe:

They plan to do WHAT exactly, with this shark?

Put him on trial?

Damn Boobies of the day misspelling. You win again brain but you'll rue the day!!

Rue the day? Who talks like that?

BoySchwen: They plan to do WHAT exactly, with this shark?

Put him on trial?

After an animal kills a person, it's always important to hunt it down and kill it. If there's one thing that Moby Dick was supposed to teach readers, it's that revenge on an animal is the most important thing in a person's life. If we start getting lax and let them eat even one of us, then the next thing you know bears and sharks are carpooling to work and picking up a ten pound pack of man-meat at the supermarket for $3.50 a pound.

Well hey, the ocean only covers 75% of the Earth. So they have 25% of the Earth ruled out as a possible location of the murderous shark. That's something.

Well the authorities have to do something or otherwise the mouth breathers would revolt after learning that maybe, just maybe bad things happen for no reason and there wasn't a way to prevent it.

In 2007 there was only 71 unprovoked shark attacks world wide. And the death total lowest in two decades. So naturally we gotta run right out and kill this monster.

/I'm a scuba diver and I say leave the shark alone.
//If a multi-ton killing machine bites you once then leaves you alone, chances are it made a mistake, not a man eater.

They're gonna need a bigger boat.


/// Obligatory
/// RIP Roy

Looks like they're gonna need a bigger boat.

Richard Jeni approves.

Was it a jaguar shark?

A shark attacking some de de dee swimming around in the ocean isn't news.

Call me back when some shark gets out of the ocean, walks down to the 7/11 and attacks someone in the parking lot.

//If a multi-ton killing machine bites you once then leaves you alone, chances are it made a mistake, not a man eater.

not quite. that's what we used to think about 20-30 years ago. current research shows that great whites in particular prefer to take one first strike power bite to disable prey. they then wait a bit for the animal to bleed out and go limp. they do this to prevent damage to themselves by holding onto a prey item that's thrashing around violently.

they don't care what kind of meat they're eating nor is our flesh 'special' in some way.

Smellvin After an animal kills a person, it's always important to hunt it down and kill it. If there's one thing that Moby Dick was supposed to teach readers, it's that revenge on an animal is the most important thing in a person's life. If we start getting lax and let them eat even one of us, then the next thing you know bears and sharks are carpooling to work and picking up a ten pound pack of man-meat at the supermarket for $3.50 a pound.



"To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee"

/ Approves

My mom called me from San Diego (I'm in Hanoi, Vietnam) last night to tell me about this - apparently my aunt was good friends with this guy. Very sad :(

That said...I'm truly hoping against hope that the logical side of humanity will prevail (but how often does that ever happen?) and they will realize that hunting down and killing predators for being predators, the way humans have for the entirety of human existence, is the epitome of stupidity and blind panic. I'm not saying I can think of an easy solution to this problem (obviously shark attacks = bad), but it kind of sickens me that we can't think of any better solution that simply killing other animals that threaten us.

Also, kind of ironic how so many Californians pride themselves on being ahead of the pack when it comes to environmental issues, but revert right back to the stone age when actually threatened. Interesting.

It's a shark. It swims around looking for food...that's what sharks do. Leave it alone I say.

/...on a lighter note, the horrendous smell of my flatulence this morning is fascinating...like "Mr. Spock" fascinating.

//dnrtfa

Oldiron_79: A shark attacking some de de dee swimming around in the ocean isn't news.

Call me back when some shark gets out of the ocean, walks down to the 7/11 and attacks someone in the parking lot.

or better yet, pretends to eat the cashier, but then spits him back out and gives him the $10 back. and puts it on youtube.

Candygram

Looks like they found it.

s1ugg0: Well the authorities have to do something or otherwise the mouth breathers would revolt after learning that maybe, just maybe bad things happen for no reason and there wasn't a way to prevent it.

In 2007 there was only 71 unprovoked shark attacks world wide. And the death total lowest in two decades. So naturally we gotta run right out and kill this monster.

/I'm a scuba diver and I say leave the shark alone.
//If a multi-ton killing machine bites you once then leaves you alone, chances are it made a mistake, not a man eater.

71 unprovoked attacks - that implies that at least one idiot provoked a shark. Stupid people deserve to die.

"Hey bubba, watch this!"

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

OK -- let's say they find "a shark" How are they going to know if it is "the shark"

What a waste of resources.

research has shown that sharks do not like the taste of humans. Unfortunately, the human is usually in two to three pieces by the time the shark realizes this.

"...said they went someplace called the Pacific Ocean, said it's big and blue and it's got a lot of fish in it!"

/Mitchell, even his name says, Is that a beer?

Wtf is a "triathelete"?

Subby=retareded

/it's not pronounced ath-uh-leet
//unless you're an idiot

faruko faruko: Wtf is a "triathelete"?

A misspelling (happens a lot here) of a term applying to a form of shark food. A lot of them in the water can make it safe for normal people to swim.

I love the classic line:

'They'll take one bite, realize they made a mistake and leave you alone.'

Yeah that's great comfort after one of those big suckers munches on you. Also some sharks like tiger sharks and great whites are aggressive and researchers suspect even if they don't plan on eating you they still disable you to make sure you don't counterattack them.

/Luckily the most aggressive creature we have in the great lakes are zebra mussels.

All they need to do is send out a ship full of lawyers. That will attract the sharks as a professional courtesy.

/here all week, try the veal

pounddawg: OK -- let's say they find "a shark" How are they going to know if it is "the shark"

What a waste of resources.

After they kill it, they cut it open and see if the guy is in there. If not, they say sorry and move on to the next one. I'm sure they'll get the right one at some point.

All it takes is one bad shark to ruin it for everyone.

There are no bad sharks, only bad shark owners.

Did they find the stingray that killed that idiot in the shorts yet?

Martin, 66, died on the beach Friday after a shark, presumed to be a great white, lifted him out of the water with his legs in its jaws, leaving deep lacerations and shredding Martin's black wetsuit.

He died at 66 as a triathlete while swimming in the ocean. My deepest respect to his family, after the shock is over this is a respectable way to go.

/Died with some years under his belt, also a bang and not a wimper.
//Shark version of 'mybad'

It's all just a stupid ratings grab. That biatch Nancy Grace will do anything to mercilessly grill someone - even a farking shark.

That was no shark, it was just Osama in his disguise ...

Sammy Jenkins: What's the point of killing this shark?

How about just killing them all?

I mean, there is a food crisis here...

/shark burgers, anyone?

Holy shiat, it's a shark; get to the chopper!

Oh, geez. A shark does what nature's programmed it to do for a few million years (ok, 6,000 for the mentally challenged out there) and we gotta get revenge.

Gunderson: That was no shark, it was just Osama in his disguise ...

Osama or Obama? hummm...

ha-ha-guy: Luckily the most aggressive creature we have in the great lakes are zebra mussels.

I was going to make a joke about a muscled zebra like the supermuscular dog pic, so I did a google image search on those words.

What a mistake. Rule 34 applies for EVERYTHING.

It didn't end well last time it was tried

Unfortunatly, they probaby will have to kill it or it will more than likely kill someone else. Didn't any of you see JAWS?! They hang around where the food source is, and now he knows it is in that particular part of the water (with the swimmers and the surfers and what not).

/ Oh, and I am also a marine biologist, like George Castanza
// Not really, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
/// Just seen Jaws about 50 times
//// I love sharks... and slashies!

plywoodjungle

All it takes is one bad shark to ruin it for everyone.

There are no bad sharks, only bad shark owners.

Did they find the stingray that killed that idiot in the shorts yet?

I ror'd.

/keyboard, you owe me one, etc.

They'll probably find the shark before ol' Osama Baby..

s1ugg0: /I'm a scuba diver and I say leave the shark alone.



Shamelessly hotlinked.

Props to Ghastly for posting this in the Atheist soldier thread

Link (new window)

BigG: Looks like they found it.

I was wondering how long we'd have to wait.