"God, deliver us from these high gas prices," Twyman said. "That's all they have to say...I've seen him work miracles in my life. He told us that all we need to do is ask and believe. He can do it, and he will do it, but we have to ask him to do it."

I wonder if this guy is able to tie his own shoes? It boggles the imagination.

TFA: "God is the only one we can turn to at this point"

Yep. Everything went to hell when that bastard joined OPEC.

Fluff Girl: TFA: "God is the only one we can turn to at this point"

Yep. Everything went to hell when that bastard joined OPEC.

This gave me unmanly giggles.

Prayer always seemed sort of arrogant to me. You're asking an all-knowing being to change his mind. If X happens, we can assume that God either actively approves of X, or is at least passively willing to allow X to happen. Since God has the power to change X, his choosing not to exercise that power is agreement.

When you pray for not-X, you're saying: "No, God, you're wrong. You really need to change your mind on this one." You're this tiny, pathetic creature daring to call the infinite complexity of God wrong. That takes a hell of a lot of arrogance.

The way I see it, God saw how badly we were farking up Creation and sent a divinely-inspired moron to spike up the price of gas so badly it would force the development of better technology. We shouldn't pray for God to lower gas prices; we should ask Her to please bless the biodiesel and electric developers, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

Protect green tech from corporate takeovers
And deliver us from GM
Give us this day our daily drivers
Which run on renewable fuel sources
And forgive us our redlights as we forgive those who cut us off
For thine is the highway, the on-ramp and the overpass
Forever and ever
Amen


/This is what happens when secular engineers and Lutheran advertisers mate.

You'd think that, gee, maybe they could use their organization to do something proactive. Like, support and promote and help raise money for alternative fuel research and development. But...naaaah, too hard, I'm sure just sitting around and asking God to do something about it will fix everything.

VictoryCabal: Prayer always seemed sort of arrogant to me.

You're applying rational thought to the irrational. That's a bit irrational.

Dumb question:

What harm did this cause?

That is all.

There is something intensely American and deeply embarrassing about this.

Never more apropos

Pray to Zardoz, and gasoline may flow like sweet mana from the sky!

If this works I'm praying for a bigger SUV.

Screw this. Jesus rode a donkey, not an SUV. Hell, even before the donkey he went barefoot in the middle of the scorching desert!.

/Catholic
//Drives a small car
///I know the mentality of most americans is 'small car= teh suck', but c'mon farkers, you're better than that, right?
////....Right!?

Damn. This isn't even in the south, so I can't make fun of backwoods hayseed rubes. Boooooooooooooooo.

Patchoulipalooza 2008?

Please raise the gas price by another dollar by next month.

I don't know what makes me roll my eyes more.

Stupid American Christians praying for cheaper gas.

OR

People in San Francisco praying for cheaper gas.
That place has TONS of public transit options. Though riding a bike in some places could qualify as self torture.

/Misses CA public transit.

You'd think when enough prayers don't get answered, people would learn. "Fool me once" and all. I guess God works in mysterious ways.

God created the Segway for you, what the fark else do you want?

I always thought that San Franciscoites were liberal atheist commies....

When prices do eventually go down at some point they will be all in your face, and like, SEE, gawd DOES listen to our prayers you farkin HEATHEN!!

/knows many of these kinds of people

dooder0001: You'd think when enough prayers don't get answered, people would learn. "Fool me once" and all. I guess God works in mysterious ways.

The orthodox christians know that: "God gives what you need, not what you want".

/But then again, he can't help you if you don't have initiative

berylman: Pray to Zardoz, and gasoline may flow like sweet mana from the sky!

Just watch that cigarette, bub.

dooder0001: You'd think when enough prayers don't get answered, people would learn. "Fool me once" and all. I guess God works in mysterious ways.

God has a sweet gig actually. He gets the credit for all the good things, and a pass for all the bad ones.

Funk Brothers: Please raise the gas price by another dollar by next month.

Is that reverse psychology? Because at3.97 for regular I am almost ready to go retarded and pray myself.more likely I'll be struck down by

z o m b i e t i m e !

lokisbong: Is that reverse psychology? Because at 3.97 for regular I am almost ready to go retarded and pray myself.more likely I'll be struck down by

You want $5 a gallon? Fine we'll make sure you're weaned off of oil. Americans just use too much oil and need to get off it especially the poor. Why can't Americans not use their car for one day instead of not going to the gas station for a day?

I hope gas prices gets as high as they are in Amsterdam or Oslo, nearly $7 a gallon I believe. Cheap gas is why there are people who drive to the end of the driveway to the mailbox, or drive .5 a mile to the store to get a carton of milk instead of walking.

I don't know why so many Americans seem to feel entitled to cheap gas for driving.

Funk Brothers apparently humor doesn't translate well.

Be careful what you ask for, there are dangerous prayers..

Sonny prayed for rain and we got a tornado...

/Aunt EM

Suicidal Writer: I hope gas prices gets as high as they are in Amsterdam or Oslo, nearly $7 a gallon I believe. Cheap gas is why there are people who drive to the end of the driveway to the mailbox, or drive .5 a mile to the store to get a carton of milk instead of walking.

I don't know why so many Americans seem to feel entitled to cheap gas for driving.

Totally different fuel. Hemp FTW

Ethyl, is that you?

So did God say 'Yes', 'No', or 'Wait' to him?

/my milk jug opted for the silence option
//I'll interpret that as a wait

lokisbong: Funk Brothers apparently humor doesn't translate well.


Approves.

When this doesn't work, how about we try chicken bones and voodoo dolls?

There are Christians in San Francisco?

CygnusDarius: The orthodox christians know that: "God gives what you need, not what you want".

...so the parents who are praying for their child with cancer who winds up dying a horrible, excruciating , twisted death anyway, that was best for everyone involved? Selfish bastards for praying for such frivolity.

I'm getting ready to sacrifice a virgin, I guess I can add gas prices to what I'm asking Satan for.

Just a quick question, how much would it affect the price of gas if you shut down 20 to 30 percent of gas stations in the world? When I'm told that gas stations make very little from selling gas, I refuse to feel sorry for them. You opened up a station in an supersaturated market. I can easily spot 30 to 40 gas stations on my way to school, which is a 10 mile distance. Do you really need that many gas stations?

If this actually works, do you think they could come by my place and pray away the mold in my bathroom grout? Because that stuff is a real PITA, too.

VictoryCabal
"Prayer always seemed sort of arrogant to me. You're asking an all-knowing being to change his mind. If X happens, we can assume that God either actively approves of X, or is at least passively willing to allow X to happen. Since God has the power to change X, his choosing not to exercise that power is agreement.

When you pray for not-X, you're saying: "No, God, you're wrong. You really need to change your mind on this one." You're this tiny, pathetic creature daring to call the infinite complexity of God wrong. That takes a hell of a lot of arrogance."


Well...biblically, there are a number of cases when God did change his mind based on people's "arrogant" request. For one example, read about the golden calf - God was going to smite all the idol-worshipers in the desert, Moses talked him out of it up on the mountain. There are other instances, too. It's a lot like a parent/child relationship sort of thing - parents generally know what's up, but negotiations still take place.

"God is the only one we can turn to at this point," said Twyman, 59. "Our leaders don't seem to be able to do anything about it. The prices keep soaring and soaring."

Agree 100%. No one else in government seems to be doing shait.

TwilightZone: When this doesn't work, how about we try chicken bones and voodoo dolls?

When it doesn't work, I'd love to see some media outlet follow up and try to get an explanation from them as to what they did to anger God.

kidsizedcoffin [TotalFark]
I'm getting ready to sacrifice a virgin
So you're committing suicide?

/cheap shot, I know

Jacobin: When prices do eventually go down at some point they will be all in your face, and like, SEE, gawd DOES listen to our prayers you farkin HEATHEN!!



It could happen. The prices may plateau. Then perhaps an alt fuel source becomes a wide spread option. Those greedy bastards will blow up their own refineries to cut supply so they can continue to gouge the life out of the poor souls without the means to quickly wean themselves from gasoline. Or we could just as soon see the collapse of the world economy. Then, I guess it wouldn't matter much.

Deadhouseplants: Just a quick question, how much would it affect the price of gas if you shut down 20 to 30 percent of gas stations in the world? When I'm told that gas stations make very little from selling gas, I refuse to feel sorry for them. You opened up a station in an supersaturated market. I can easily spot 30 to 40 gas stations on my way to school, which is a 10 mile distance. Do you really need that many gas stations?

Well, I'm going to go waaaaay out on a limb here and suggest that reducing the number of competitors in the market would probably NOT result in lower prices.